Steps in relationships, when to move to another level?

[hereyago]

Yep. I can think of a few posters here that are very good at it.

Very true.

 

[Pixiedustaway]

This thread just keeps on giving.

This just made me lol.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

OK, then... it was a crazy morning and a long day at work. Note this continued a couple pages past the last time I posted, so I did not fuel the fire. I guess I am now though.

I never said you guys are wrong. I admit, I have been demonstrating very foolish and childish behavior since the very beginning of this relationship. I went from being a psycho-like stalker type in the early stages to whatever this is now. I really thought "pre-engaged" was a good descriptor of the the status.

You are right, maybe he doesn't know the "real me". I have been on my best behavior for the last 6 months. I act like I think my ex-husband would have wanted me to act. I never say "no" to anything. I always try to think of ways to be helpful and make his life easier, I volunteer to run errands etc... whatever he says, I agree with it. Yes it is exhausting. Yes it is unlikely I can sustain that level of being nice forever.

In regards to the vision thing... I cannot legally drive without corrective lenses, and it would be difficult to watch tv, but I can at least see enough to function. No I do not sleep in contacts. I know it can be done, but I really don't like the idea of it. Even before him, I would not be photographed wearing glasses, although I pretty much wore them all the time when I wasn't at work. Yes that is a vanity issue that existed long before him. Now however, I DO wear glasses at work a lot because I wear contacts and I have to read a lot. I have to wear Dollar Tree reading glasses because at my age. When I wear my contacts I cannot read anything up close. (yes I am aware bifocal contacts exist but I am too cheap to go that route). I just try to pass it off as a joke (the reading glasses) and wear them on a chain and stick them on the end of my nose when I am using them

You are right... I did get wrapped up in all the attention I am getting on Facebook. Of course i have even allowed him to take over that too. I don't post anything anymore unless it is related to him. Like some kind of nitwit, I will post a picture of us and just wait for all the "Likes" to roll in and feel all thrilled and stuff.

It's like I work so hard at trying to look like I am SO happy and my world is SO perfect when really it is on shaky ground.

 

[Minnie17]

OK, then... it was a crazy morning and a long day at work. Note this continued a couple pages past the last time I posted, so I did not fuel the fire. I guess I am now though.

I never said you guys are wrong. I admit, I have been demonstrating very foolish and childish behavior since the very beginning of this relationship. I went from being a psycho-like stalker type in the early stages to whatever this is now. I really thought "pre-engaged" was a good descriptor of the the status.

You are right, maybe he doesn't know the "real me". I have been on my best behavior for the last 6 months. I act like I think my ex-husband would have wanted me to act. I never say "no" to anything. I always try to think of ways to be helpful and make his life easier, I volunteer to run errands etc... whatever he says, I agree with it. Yes it is exhausting. Yes it is unlikely I can sustain that level of being nice forever.

In regards to the vision thing... I cannot legally drive without corrective lenses, and it would be difficult to watch tv, but I can at least see enough to function. No I do not sleep in contacts. I know it can be done, but I really don't like the idea of it. Even before him, I would not be photographed wearing glasses, although I pretty much wore them all the time when I wasn't at work. Yes that is a vanity issue that existed long before him. Now however, I DO wear glasses at work a lot because I wear contacts and I have to read a lot. I have to wear Dollar Tree reading glasses because at my age. When I wear my contacts I cannot read anything up close. (yes I am aware bifocal contacts exist but I am too cheap to go that route). I just try to pass it off as a joke (the reading glasses) and wear them on a chain and stick them on the end of my nose when I am using them

You are right... I did get wrapped up in all the attention I am getting on Facebook. Of course i have even allowed him to take over that too. I don't post anything anymore unless it is related to him. Like some kind of nitwit, I will post a picture of us and just wait for all the "Likes" to roll in and feel all thrilled and stuff.

It's like I work so hard at trying to look like I am SO happy and my world is SO perfect when really it is on shaky ground.

How does this relate to everything else in this post? Including the daughter and ex? Have you read the replies in this thread?

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

How does this relate to everything else in this post? Including the daughter and ex? Have you read the replies in this thread?

Yea, it was probably none of my business, but he did drag me into it. Of course I should not get involved but it was hard not to get involved. I know I haven't used the best judgment.

 

[ronandannette]

Journaling
Here's some good insight into why these threads of the OP's even exist...

 

[Disney_traveler]

Journaling
Here's some good insight into why these threads of the OP's even exist...

Wow, just wow. Counseling others to not do precisely what is already being done. Thank you for posting that. Otherwise I definitely wouldn't have seen it. It sheds a lot more light on things. I feel like such a bigger mook now.

 

[MataHari22]

You won't even let your boyfriend see you in glasses? Huh? You won't be honest and really talk to him, you are not yourself around him, physically or emotionally, you spend a lot of your time feeling frustrated with him and his family/ex drama and you basically twist yourself into a pretzel to stay with him, but there's nothing sadder than someone like me, that's older, and chooses not to date because I have other priorities in my life right now, and plus, I will never settle for anyone not good for me. Alrighty then. Oh, also, I wear glasses, bifocals, the old lady kind, wear them all the time because I can't wear contacts and I also never wear makeup. No smoke and mirrors here. What you see is what you get with me. Authentic, raw, scarred, and trying to always be strong.

 

[Pixiedustaway]

You won't even let your boyfriend see you in glasses? Huh? You won't be honest and really talk to him, you are not yourself around him, physically or emotionally, you spend a lot of your time feeling frustrated with him and his family/ex drama and you basically twist yourself into a pretzel to stay with him, but there's nothing sadder than someone like me, that's older, and chooses not to date because I have other priorities in my life right now, and plus, I will never settle for anyone not good for me. Alrighty then. Oh, also, I wear glasses, bifocals, the old lady kind, wear them all the time because I can't wear contacts and I also never wear makeup. No smoke and mirrors here. What you see is what you get with me. Authentic, raw, scarred, and trying to always be strong.

You go, girl.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

Wow, just wow. Counseling others to not do precisely what is already being done. Thank you for posting that. Otherwise I definitely wouldn't have seen it. It sheds a lot more light on things. I feel like such a bigger mook now.

This started back before you were a member. It is a "discussion" board after all. The original intent was to be kind of a "Sex and the City"-style musings about dating and relationships. I thought wow, this could lead to fun discussions about the thrills and frustrations of dating. Obviously it did not turn out that way. The "counseling others" to not do what I did myself.... I thought people would see the irony in that, and maybe have a chuckle.

You won't even let your boyfriend see you in glasses? Huh? You won't be honest and really talk to him, you are not yourself around him, physically or emotionally, you spend a lot of your time feeling frustrated with him and his family/ex drama and you basically twist yourself into a pretzel to stay with him, but there's nothing sadder than someone like me, that's older, and chooses not to date because I have other priorities in my life right now, and plus, I will never settle for anyone not good for me. Alrighty then. Oh, also, I wear glasses, bifocals, the old lady kind, wear them all the time because I can't wear contacts and I also never wear makeup. No smoke and mirrors here. What you see is what you get with me. Authentic, raw, scarred, and trying to always be strong.

I am sorry, the "nothing sadder" statement I made was rude. I came off sounding like a real witch.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

Well then, I was done with this thread but since you feel the need to call me out to get some more fuel for your attention seeking fire, here you go....

A previous poster referenced your response post in a thread titled "Journaling" that was started this past Thursday, October 27, 2016 (5:57 pm if you want specifics). Your response was the same day at 9:25 pm. I did not go looking for it, someone posted and I followed the link to see. You will see I quoted that person's informative post to show I was replying in response to it. Therefore, that was NOT before I was a dis member.

Secondly if you are referring to THIS thread, the creation date appears to be October 17th, 2016. Which is, surprise surprise, also after I became a member.

If you are saying that you have several other threads over this exact same topic that started before I was a dis member, I wasn't aware the requirements for participating in a thread was to research and read all former postings of a poster.

To state that you thought it would make for "Sex and the City" type "musings" fully proves the theory this is just you blathering on for attention. You don't really want advice, suggestions, etc, you just want the audience.

Correct me if I am wrong fellow DIS members with "Sex and the City" knowledge, but Carrie Bradshaw wrote a direct column on a topic she came up with each edition. It wasn't an advice column where she answered questions and musings from her readers.

My final thought is this, for someone with a lot of posts claiming to have issues addressing what they don't like with people in their personal relations AND claiming to not have enough personal confidence to be themselves, you certainly have NO problem with having enough confidence to be a catty "mean girl" belittling others.

All of your posts within the 20 pages here are a FARCE. I'd even hedge a guess that any other posts since you've been a dis member are the same. You just calculate what to say to pique the interest of others to get you the most responses.

You want to call people sad based on their age and lack of a significant other/spouse? I highly recommend you rethink that because the only one you have the proper experience to be saying that about is the person in your mirror.

Again, I had left this thread, but you quoted me, which sent me an alert, which led me here to post. I WILL NOT be called out without responding.

The statement about the journaling, geez, I was poking fun at myself in the other thread for the whole brouhaha in this other series of threads. This whole thing started about 5-6 months ago, and yes it has gotten out of hand. It grew into this. Yes, the more I said, the worse things got.

That was the original intent back in like May... and if you will read the transcript, I did mention that obviously it did not turn out that way.

I DID apologize for the catty statement I made.

I will also not be called out without responding.

 

[littlejimmy]

oh yeah...saucer of milk table for 2..a good old fashioned dis cat fight...love it

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

and furthermore...

keen detective skills might reveal I said this in another thread.

http://disboards.com/threads/ending...tion-update-pg-6.1687182/page-6#post-56654399

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

You do know that you don't need to make every thread about you, right?

Not every thread is about me... I was trying to show that I do have a sense of humor and acknowledge the fact that this stuff is getting out of hand.

 

[SirDuff]

Deleted

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

By spreading it to unrelated threads? You're the only one making this "get out of hand".

But, I guess that is your goal. So - yay, success!

I thought they were related (relationships), and it was an attempt at humor.

 

[phorsenuf]

Do yourself a favor and end it. Seriously.

 

[mrsheppo]

Do yourself a favor and end it. Seriously.

The thread and the relationship

 

[Snap Crackle Pop]

You just need to stop.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I know I said I was out, but...this is just so bizarre. OP, why do you feel the need to try and make everything "cute" or "humorous," especially to a group of people who are obviously annoyed or irritated? I've only encountered this one other time on the dis and it was by a woman who was very much like you (except younger) and also seemed very stunted, emotionally.