I was the one who brought up the SAHM WOHM thing on the other thread, in extreme caution that I made sure that I phrased every word carefully so as not to insult or bring judgement on anyone! Every single thing I said was based on my own experiences, and I totally understand how different circumstances bring about different lifestyle choices. Frankly, being the mom at all is never the most "fun" job most of the time, no matter how we do it!
When I said in my post that being at home was the "easiest by far", it was ONLY in comparison to doing all the typical mom jobs AND a 40-50 hours a week away from home job too. I never wanted to be a career woman - taking care of my home, family, and kids was exactly how I wanted to spend my life
And when I was lucky enough to stay home, it was very time-consuming and at times, difficult! DH worked out of town or 12-14 hours days and was rarely home. I was always busy - I was on the PTA board, volunteered at the school and in the classrooms on a regular (often weekly) basis, babysat kids all the time, ran errands all day, was always taking the kids back and forth to school and activities since preschool, kindergarten, and grade school all let out at different times, and my house was actually clean! I had time to wash windows and dust. My kids' rooms were clean. They had clean sheets on their beds every week. Dishes never stayed in the sink. If the kids were sick, it was an easy decision to let them stay home frm school, and I rarely had to ask anyone for anything (something I HATE to do)
Then I had to go back to work for economic reasons. Oldest DS was 10 and in 5th grade. DD was 7, in 1st grade, and DS2 was 4 in preschool. It's been hectic and crazy since. 5 years now and nothing ever gets caught up. We stress out getting everyone everywhere they need to go. I have to tell my kids that they cannot do after-school clubs because I cannot get there by 4pm to pick them up. I race home from work to get them to evening activities by 5:30-6pm. if I get held up at work, forget about it. I have to ask other parents for help, which I hate. When my kids get sick, I worry more about taking the time off than I am about them being sick, and send them back to school as soon as possible once they are on antibiotics (if applicable) when before I would not even think twice about keeping them home another day. I pray that they get sick on a Tuesday because I work from home on Wednesdays, then pray they magically get better by Thursday. We do not have bussing for Middle School, which is .5 miles away, or the high school, which is 1.5 miles away, so my kids walk home. This is perfectly fine until December-March when it is snowy, freezing, and nasty outside. Then I stress about them getting frostbite in -10 degree weather. My oldest has a shoulder injury right now that makes him unable to carry his backpack on his right shoulder, and he has a LOT of books to carry home. I drive him to school at 6:50am, which is a hour and ten minutes before school starts, and pick him up at 5pm, which is 2 hours after school ends because he cannot walk home with his backpack on his shoulder. He has actually had the flu since Saturday and been off school all week with a 103 fever, and I've counted out the contagious days+incubation period trying to figure out in advance who will take what days off of work if the 9 year old comes down with it since he cannot stay home alone yet.
And the laundry, dishes, cooking, lunch-making, homework, projects, bathroom cleaning, dusting, grocery shopping, etc still has to get done in the same degree it always has had to be done. But instead of having 8 hours to do it, I usually have about 60 minutes. Until Saturday, when I spend 3-4 hours cleaning, and 3-4 hours on Sunday doing laundry and grocery shopping.
Now, I try to do all (some) of that well, and fail miserably. I want my old SAHM life back! LOL It was time-comsuming (I most defintely did NOT have time to sit around and do nothing all day!), but it was like being the boss of my OWN company - where what I said goes, and what I was doing made a difference and was important. I was always super-busy but loved every minute of it. I miss it and wish I could still be the mom I really want to be
No sympathy plea intended or wanted - I am lucky in a million ways and grateful that I have 3 healthy kids and a job that pays the bills and gives my kids all of what they need and a lot of what they want. I get to work at home on Wednesdays, and my boss is pretty flexible knowing I have kids that still need me when they are sick or off school and she has no problem letting me telecommute when I need to (I just feel bad and hate taking advantage of it too often!)
I'm not complaining at all (well, maybe a little! LOL).
So, to answer the question - Even though my kids are 4th grade and up, the tasks I do as a parent have only increased, not decreased as the years have gone by. So, yes, I believe that any mom (or dad) who does not have a "out of the home" job, is still doing as much for their family and kids when they are in school as they did when the kids were little and therefore are "employed" (if using the term makes them feel better....for me, I don't care) - IF they want to. That's the key....most SAHM's I know treat their homelife and child-rearing seriously and put their all into it. Rarely do I meet a SAH parent who ignores their kids, doesn't help the community, and don't clean their house. For those people who do slack.....that's a whole different thread. But I don't think they are the majority by far.
