stevenpensacola
<font color=red>Sometimes I sits and thinks, and s
- Joined
- Sep 14, 2000
- Messages
- 3,769
Top Ten Star Wars Fan Euphemisms For Not Having A Girlfriend
10. Camping alone outside the theater.
9. My force is no longer with me.
8. The Death Star is not yet operational.
7. The Empire's striking out.
6. Shaking hands with the wookie.
5. Darth Vader has no place to put his helmet.
4. Oiling the droid.
3. Unable to set coordinates for the planet Babe.
2. Spending the night with Han Solo.
1. Tractor beam not powerful enough.
Top Ten Thoughts On The Minds Of People In Line For Star Wars
10. "Nice of Cher to loan me her Academy Awards outfit."
9. "First in line.... This'll look good on my resume."
8. "The babes should be coming over to talk to me any minute now."
7. "I shouldn't have to wait in this line -- I'm Carrie Fisher."
6. "I sense a disturbance in my hairline."
5. "Is that some sort of image-gathering droid?"
4. "Princess Leia... Princess Leia... Princess Leia... Princess Leia...."
3. "What I want is a prequel to 'Turner and Hooch'."
2. "This line better move soon, or Paul will have to host the show for me."
1. "What a couple of geeks."
Top Ten Questions To Ask Yourself Before Camping Out To See "Star Wars"
10. "Why don't I have anything better to do?"
9. "How many Wookies does my tent sleep?"
8. "Will it be more fun than when I camped out to see 'Miss Congeniality 2'?"
7. "Exactly when did I give up on doing anything meaningful with my life?"
6. "Will I be teased by roving gangs of Trekkies?"
5. "If I use all my vacation days now, how will I take that trip to ice planet Hoth?"
4. "Does Starbucks let guys dressed as galactic bounty hunters use their bathroom?"
3. "I wonder how many other guys on line are named 'Shecky'?"
2. "Should I just pay the extra dollar and use Moviefone?"
1. "If I had a girlfriend, what would she think?"
Top Ten Signs You've Seen the `Star Wars' Movies Too Many Times
10. Your poodles are named "C," "3," "P" and "O"
9. You won't sleep with your wife unless she says, "Help me, Obi Wan, you're my only hope"
8. You spent $10,000 trying to Rogaine yourself into Chewbacca
7. You're continually stunned when the President makes major decisions without consulting Mark Hamill
6. Your favorite pickup line: "Would you like to handle my light saber?"
5. You keep referring to your lawn mower as "that crazy droid"
4. You spend most of your days trying to use "the Force" to open a can of pears
3. You once saw an eggplant that looked kind of like Darth Vader and almost had a heart attack
2. Your sex life is strictly "Han Solo," if you know what I mean
1. You like Yoda so much, you voted for Ross Perot
10. Camping alone outside the theater.
9. My force is no longer with me.
8. The Death Star is not yet operational.
7. The Empire's striking out.
6. Shaking hands with the wookie.
5. Darth Vader has no place to put his helmet.
4. Oiling the droid.
3. Unable to set coordinates for the planet Babe.
2. Spending the night with Han Solo.
1. Tractor beam not powerful enough.
Top Ten Thoughts On The Minds Of People In Line For Star Wars
10. "Nice of Cher to loan me her Academy Awards outfit."
9. "First in line.... This'll look good on my resume."
8. "The babes should be coming over to talk to me any minute now."
7. "I shouldn't have to wait in this line -- I'm Carrie Fisher."
6. "I sense a disturbance in my hairline."
5. "Is that some sort of image-gathering droid?"
4. "Princess Leia... Princess Leia... Princess Leia... Princess Leia...."
3. "What I want is a prequel to 'Turner and Hooch'."
2. "This line better move soon, or Paul will have to host the show for me."
1. "What a couple of geeks."
Top Ten Questions To Ask Yourself Before Camping Out To See "Star Wars"
10. "Why don't I have anything better to do?"
9. "How many Wookies does my tent sleep?"
8. "Will it be more fun than when I camped out to see 'Miss Congeniality 2'?"
7. "Exactly when did I give up on doing anything meaningful with my life?"
6. "Will I be teased by roving gangs of Trekkies?"
5. "If I use all my vacation days now, how will I take that trip to ice planet Hoth?"
4. "Does Starbucks let guys dressed as galactic bounty hunters use their bathroom?"
3. "I wonder how many other guys on line are named 'Shecky'?"
2. "Should I just pay the extra dollar and use Moviefone?"
1. "If I had a girlfriend, what would she think?"
Top Ten Signs You've Seen the `Star Wars' Movies Too Many Times
10. Your poodles are named "C," "3," "P" and "O"
9. You won't sleep with your wife unless she says, "Help me, Obi Wan, you're my only hope"
8. You spent $10,000 trying to Rogaine yourself into Chewbacca
7. You're continually stunned when the President makes major decisions without consulting Mark Hamill
6. Your favorite pickup line: "Would you like to handle my light saber?"
5. You keep referring to your lawn mower as "that crazy droid"
4. You spend most of your days trying to use "the Force" to open a can of pears
3. You once saw an eggplant that looked kind of like Darth Vader and almost had a heart attack
2. Your sex life is strictly "Han Solo," if you know what I mean
1. You like Yoda so much, you voted for Ross Perot