Spring has sprung

[nkjzmom]

I'll be honest and say I've had this same thought. I started to post support to someone who'd had a miscarriage and hesitated when I realized my family's picture with our 5 smiling kids might make the poster ache a little more.

A little off-topic but...I have a sister who struggled for over 5 years to get pregnant. When I became pregnant with our 5th child she was so hurt and upset she didn't speak to me for a few months...we worked it out but I will never forget that sadness I had for her and also the guilt--like survivor's guilt I suppose--I had in the fact that I had 4 healthy children with one on the way when she was struggling for hers.

I understand the OP's point.

 

[dbogen]

90% of the time I only know the Signature & not the name. My Memory is really bad. And when you change your picture you confuse me.

But I can see the OP point & know everyone knows they can turn off what they do not want to see or vica versa.

I have to agree I don't always look at the names but the pictures. I think it was Stepharoonie that would change her sigie pic and I didn't know she was the same person. We just put down our 16yo fur baby last Sat and looking at others pics makes me smile.

Deanna

 

[luvindisneyworld]

I am not turning my signature off for anyone and I would not want them to either.

I just dont understand.they know when they ask for support on a Disney board that there are going to be alot more with kids than not.So I would think that they know that when people post there are going to be pictures of their children and pets.
I have lost 3 babies and I would never ever think anything about someone posting with a child in their signature.Its not their fault I lost my babies.

 

[diznygirl]

90% of the time I only know the Signature & not the name. My Memory is really bad. And when you change your picture you confuse me.

But I can see the OP point & know everyone knows they can turn off what they do not want to see or vica versa.

This is me, too! I realized I was recognizing posters by their signature pics more than their name, and it made me want to put a pic in my sig. It's part of who "we" are because we aren't conversing face to face.

I don't think I'd be offended either - I would just be happy for the support.

 

[Magickndm]

Really, how PC do we all have to be here?
I've posted on many threads where Dis'ers are grieving over lost pets. I've lost many myself, so I do know what they're going through, but never once did I think my sig would hurt them more. And when I lost my dog I had for 13 years, it never occured to me to be offended by the other posters who have their pets in their sigs.
Not to sound too harsh, but if you are one to get offended that easily, maybe a public forum is not for you.

 

[poohandwendy]

Quite honestly, I think it is patronizing to think that people who are grieving cannot handle the fact that other people are not suffering in the same way. Or that they have what you lost.

I have lost people very close to me (both of my fathers, suddenly) and many beloved pets. I have had my share of deep loss. If anything, I rejoice for other people that they have their loved ones.

When Fathers Day comes around, I WANT to hear what people are doing with their Dads, what gift they got them...the funny stories they have to share. I felt that way when the pain was new, too.

I would be deeply offended if people thought me so little that I could not handle knowing they are not emotionally bleeding in the same way I am. If anything, I was always glad they weren't...it gives you hope.

 

[bananiem]

So what do you think about the people with screen names with "mom" or "dad" in them? Should they not offer their sympathy or should they change their screen name?
I think it might be nice if someone remembered to turn off their siggie, but honestly they're probably so busy thinking of expressing their sympathy that they don't think of it.
I also think if someone has a child or pet they are more able to understand the pain in losing one.

 

[almacdonald]

I thought I was done, but I guess not.

I too look at people's signatures and often recognize their pictures before a screen name. HOWEVER, these pictures/quotes/tickers/whatever are not who we are. They are snip-its from the best times in our lives. Our children (whether they be 2 or 4-legged), our families, our favorite sports team or a countdown to the next time will spend a great vacation with the people we love at a place we all love. I think it's in poor-taste to flaunt these things when someone is going through a rough patch and is incapable of having the things that we hold dear.

Now i'm not saying that your dad shouldn't go to your friend's dad's funeral, don't be ridiculous. And as for the loss of your 2 children, I'm deeply sorry for that too. I don't have children and can only imagine but it must be tremendous pain that you went through. I'm glad that you've been able to make peace with their passing. And as for the people who enjoy seeing pictures of pets after their's having "crossed the bridge", if that's how you cope, terrific.

I have posted to threads where people have had to make the horrible choice to put down their pets. I am always extremely sorry when anyone has to make that decision. That post is for the grieving individual, not myself. I'm not compromising who I am by not posting my pets in my signature. I'm simply respecting the fact that they are going through a difficult time and may be looking for sympathy and not a reminder of what they have recently lost.

Now, you all can think what you want about this topic but my heart was in my throat when I read the recent thread about the miscarriage. I understand that it happens to many people and sharring stories may help start the healing process but I find some of the accompanying pictures a bit tasteless. Only my opinion. Let me tell you, it shocked the heck out of me to see that on a board where people are otherwise very nice.


Now, I am done.

 

[poohandwendy]

Now, you all can think what you want about this topic but my heart was in my throat when I read the recent thread about the miscarriage. I understand that it happens to many people and sharring stories may help start the healing process but I find some of the accompanying pictures a bit tasteless. Only my opinion. Let me tell you, it shocked the heck out of me to see that on a board where people are otherwise very nice.

I think it's in poor-taste to flaunt these things when someone is going through a rough patch and is incapable of having the things that we hold dear.

Wow...

just wow.

I could not even begin to express how off-base I think the above is.

 

[Magickndm]

Wow...

just wow.

I could not even begin to express how off-base I think the above is.

I totally agree with you.

 

[poohandwendy]

Just for the record, if anything (God forbid) would happen to my other animals, please do not change your siggie in response to my loss. (this appliies to any loss I would have)

When Tucker was sick and then suddenly died, the response here was overwhelming and comforting to me and I really enjoyed looking at some of the animal pictures, especially the cats, in your siggies. I guess it made me know you understood, kwim?

So, in my case...please do not do that, you would not be doing me any favors.

 

[Shugardrawers]

I had a total hysterctomy at the ripe old age of 30 so I'll never be able to have children, but I love babies.
Some day I'll have to put Petey down but I certainly understand that many millions of other people will snuggle up with their pets that same night.
We need to accept the good wishes of those who offer them and stop being so darn sensitive.

 

[almacdonald]

Last one...


CONTEXT people, context!

 

[poohandwendy]

Yes...context is important. You should think about that when you see a post where someone is taking the time to pour out heartfelt prayers, condolences and support to someone in loss...instead of focusing on the fact that they didn't remember to pretend they don't have anything happy in their life by changing their signatures...

Maybe seeing the beauty of the kindness in those threads and good wishes should be the focus, not judging people harshly for not doing what YOU deem appropriate for the situation.

totally ridiculous.

 

[ilovepcot]

I'd like to know what has upset you so.

 

[Shugardrawers]

I'd like to know what has upset you so.

Me too, I can't imagine being offended by the kind words of another, no matter how they were presented.

 

[diznygirl]

OP - while you are indeed entitled to your OWN opinion, it sure seems like you are trying to beat us into submission. As you can see in these many posts, we feel differently and that's that.

No one is telling you not to behave as you see fit, why are you so angry???

 

[tiggersmom2]

I understand that it happens to many people and sharring stories may help start the healing process but I find some of the accompanying pictures a bit tasteless. Only my opinion. Let me tell you, it shocked the heck out of me to see that on a board where people are otherwise very nice.

For crying out loud! This is a perfect example of someone trying to "start something" when there is nothing there.

The OP has inspired me to find some nice family and pet pics to post.

 

[Sandy V.]

Yes...context is important. You should think about that when you see a post where someone is taking the time to pour out heartfelt prayers, condolences and support to someone in loss...instead of focusing on the fact that they didn't remember to pretend they don't have anything happy in their life by changing their signatures...

Maybe seeing the beauty of the kindness in those threads and good wishes should be the focus, not judging people harshly for not doing what YOU deem appropriate for the situation.

totally ridiculous.

Absolutely true.

I wouldn't want anyone to change their signatures for me, no matter what tragedy I endured and poured my heart out about.

 

[poohandwendy]

Me too, I can't imagine being offended by the kind words of another, no matter how they were presented.

LOL, actually I find this thread offensive. Of all the things to complain about. These boards have some flaws, but the very last place you will find them is in the posts of the warm people here who extend comfort, support, hugs, prayers and pixie dust to those in need.

It is never a question of if will someone out there will extend a warm hug here, it's always an enormous outpouring, IMO.

I just cannot imagine finding any way (and I do find it offensive) to fault the people here who have contributed to any thread in support of someone who is dealing with loss.

JMHO