Sorry guys, can't hold it in anymore, need to vent...ugh

[AbbyPan]

ok, I may be the only one that has this issue, so if I sound borderline Bridezilla-ish, please signal a warning flag at me. thanks...

I have a younger sister, much younger, who is 13, she is 12 years my junior, which means she is still in Junior High and will have to miss some school for my wedding(Friday, September 21st).

THE PROBLEM:
My dad is real anal about her missing school and I hoped that the 21st would end up being a holiday, this way my sister would only have to miss 4 day's of school. She'd only miss Mon-Thur. So, I scheduled a family dinner (with families from both sides) on Monday at Ohana's @ 5pm.

Unfortunately, Friday turns out not to be holiday and my dad is refusing to allow my sister to miss Monday. So yesterday he sends me an email showing me his flight intinerary (they will arrive Monday evening) to show me that his decision is final. OK understandable.

BUT, my sister and mother want to be at the parks all day on Tuesday and Wednesday with only the immediate family - which means that if I want to schedule a family dinner it would have to wait until before the wedding on Thursday. Why is this an issue you might ask?

Well, my parents and future-in-laws have never met. THey've never even spoken to each other over the phone. Their not trying to avoid each other, it just hasn't happened. Now they won't meet until Thursday-the day before the wedding.

My mom says that I should still schedule the family dinner on Monday, but for later around 8pm @ Ohana's. OK, yeah, good luck with that one ABBY! Ohana's doesn't have any availability until after 9pm. Am I really going to have my df's family eat that late anyway? NO WAY. I made these arrangements back in March, and I'm positive Ohana's will not be able to change my time for 20 people. So my family dinner is ruined. Just gonna have to suck it up.

AND get this. On my dad's side, my aunt wants to invite a family member (and the family member's daughter) to my wedding because there is a sale for a Spirit Airlines flight from Honduras and she wants to take advantage and bring her. WHAT?!?!?

and that's besides my other aunt's drama (my dad's other sister) who threatend not to go to the wedding unless I invited her son's gf (who i have never met, by the way) SHEESH!

I appreciate my dad's help, because he's fitting the big bill, but his family has been an absolute nightmare. and I hope my df's family doesn't get offended thinking that my parents won't meet them before-hand.

Sorry for the enormous post, just needed to let out some steam..

 

[princessdisneybelle]

ok, I may be the only one that has this issue, so if I sound borderline Bridezilla-ish, please signal a warning flag at me. thanks...

I have a younger sister, much younger, who is 13, she is 12 years my junior, which means she is still in Junior High and will have to miss some school for my wedding(Friday, September 21st).

THE PROBLEM:
My dad is real anal about her missing school and I hoped that the 21st would end up being a holiday, this way my sister would only have to miss 4 day's of school. She'd only miss Mon-Thur. So, I scheduled a family dinner (with families from both sides) on Monday at Ohana's @ 5pm.

Unfortunately, Friday turns out not to be holiday and my dad is refusing to allow my sister to miss Monday. So yesterday he sends me an email showing me his flight intinerary (they will arrive Monday evening) to show me that his decision is final. OK understandable.

BUT, my sister and mother want to be at the parks all day on Tuesday and Wednesday with only the immediate family - which means that if I want to schedule a family dinner it would have to wait until before the wedding on Thursday. Why is this an issue you might ask?

Well, my parents and future-in-laws have never met. THey've never even spoken to each other over the phone. Their not trying to avoid each other, it just hasn't happened. Now they won't meet until Thursday-the day before the wedding.

My mom says that I should still schedule the family dinner on Monday, but for later around 8pm @ Ohana's. OK, yeah, good luck with that one ABBY! Ohana's doesn't have any availability until after 9pm. Am I really going to have my df's family eat that late anyway? NO WAY. I made these arrangements back in March, and I'm positive Ohana's will not be able to change my time for 20 people. So my family dinner is ruined. Just gonna have to suck it up.

AND get this. On my dad's side, my aunt wants to invite a family member (and the family member's daughter) to my wedding because there is a sale for a Spirit Airlines flight from Honduras and she wants to take advantage and bring her. WHAT?!?!?

and that's besides my other aunt's drama (my dad's other sister) who threatend not to go to the wedding unless I invited her son's gf (who i have never met, by the way) SHEESH!

I appreciate my dad's help, because he's fitting the big bill, but his family has been an absolute nightmare. and I hope my df's family doesn't get offended thinking that my parents won't meet them before-hand.

Sorry for the enormous post, just needed to let out some steam..

Ugh Abby I am so sorry for this. I have gone through the inviting other people alot. I finally had to put my food down. Could careless who I offended.
About your sister. In a way I can kinda see your Dad's point. As much as it stinks, that is alot of school to miss in middle school.

The dinner. Could you try to do something Monday late that is alittle different? Instead of a full dinner how about dessert somewhere? Maybe Kona Cafe at the Poly them step out on the beach to watch Wishes? You could stil do some fun things like give everyone leis. Unfortunately having two familes meet is stressful. I do not even know most of the people coming to my wedding. I hope it all works out for you.

 

[myprincessgirlisa]

oh abby im sorry about all this, but i dont understand why your dad is not ok with you sis missing monday when she will be out the rest of the week anyway!!
I think if he tells the school/teachers about it at the beginning of the school year, that could help with homework/etc.

Its a tough call cause hes dad & shes still under 18 so she has to do what he says.....what does your mom think?

As for the aunt,,,thats kinda rude to do what she wants.....sure let em come to wdw & take advantage of those great rates, but they shouldnt expect to be invited to the wedding

your not a bridezilla at all....families tend to bring out the worst in us with all their requests & demands...dont let it upset you....try to focus on a resolution....were here for you

 

[PrincessBride07]

Abby, so sorry to hear this. Vent away all you like. I agree with Cori about your sis not taking the one extra day off of school. When dad said no, it's no. Well, I would go with what Laura is saying. I know that you really want Ohana's, but if you can't do it what can you do. Try somewhere else that would be nice. I always like Ghiradelli's for dessert. As for the newly "invited" guests, if your dad is willing to pay for his family; again what can you do. If you are the one having to pay extra for them, tell them they are welcomed at the events around the wedding; but unfortunetly they can't come to the wedding. I don't think they would mind anyways seeing it sounds like they are only looking for a vacation anyways. Best of Luck. BTW you are not a bridezilla.

 

[Glorydaz]

Abby, so very sorry to hear about your hitches - and no, I don't think you're acting like a "bridezilla" . as brides, we are under incredible stress to have everything "perfect" which is a lot harder than most people imagine!

if your sister has to go to school - well, your Dad is the boss and that can't be changed. I agree, it's wrong for the aunts to act up but remember the big picture - you're marrying your love and everything else is in the background! don't let the "small stuff" get in the way - you certainly don't need more stress at this point!

I would go ahead and have the dinner at O'hana's as planned. why don't you consider an intimate dessert and coffee get together for the parents and you and hubby to be after they get in on Monday night? I'm sure there is someplace that could accommodate you - possibly even the resort you are staying at. this way you still have your dinner and they will meet before the wedding. or if it's too late, how about a parent's breakfast on Tuesday before you hit the park with your Mom and sister?

don't worry sweetie - it really will all turn out fine ...remember, deep breaths!

Michelle

 

[AbbyPan]

awe...thanks guys!

Well, I guess I'm not necessarily surprised about my dad's decision, I totally understand that.

I guess I just feel the stress because most of my preferrences and decisions have been side-stepped to please others.

I think the advice about doing something somewhere else would be nice. But that might be hard last minute. Do you guys know if Kona's would take a large number of people- maybe 20?

My dad's going to pay for the F&B of 65 people, and right now I have 67, so I have to dish out the difference (and that's besides the other bills I have to pay, like florists, photo, etc.) I'm just so surprised at the lack of tactfulness and understanding from some of my family. I would NEVER try to impose anything like that to anyone, its almost mean.

 

[princessdisneybelle]

awe...thanks guys!

Well, I guess I'm not necessarily surprised about my dad's decision, I totally understand that.

I guess I just feel the stress because most of my preferrences and decisions have been side-stepped to please others.

I think the advice about doing something somewhere else would be nice. But that might be hard last minute. Do you guys know if Kona's would take a large number of people- maybe 20?

My dad's going to pay for the F&B of 65 people, and right now I have 67, so I have to dish out the difference (and that's besides the other bills I have to pay, like florists, photo, etc.) I'm just so surprised at the lack of tactfulness and understanding from some of my family. I would NEVER try to impose anything like that to anyone, its almost mean.

Abby I'm sure Kona can take that many. I would give them a call though to see. Yeah there are alot of inconsiderate people out there. Weddings seem to bring them all out. Hugs feel better.

 

[AbbyPan]

don't any of you ever feel like just crying your eyes out until you don't care anymore?

ok, i'll let ya'll know what Kona's says.

 

[princessdisneybelle]

don't any of you ever feel like just crying your eyes out until you don't care anymore?

ok, i'll let ya'll know what Kona's says.

Yep been there soooooooooo many times but then Chris says something so sweet and I know why I am doing all of this work. Because I am lucky enough to have found my Prince Charming. Like so many people have said and it is hard to hear sometimes. You and your DF are all that really matter. Everyone else won't notice all of the little things and I'm sure they will have a great time.

 

[purplegirl247]

and that's besides my other aunt's drama (my dad's other sister) who threatend not to go to the wedding unless I invited her son's gf (who i have never met, by the way) SHEESH!

This happened to us too. DH's brother-in-law said that if his kids weren't welcome, he wasn't welcome. I said there simply wasn't any room (which wasn't true but what do they know? ). He sulked and ended up not coming (claiming that he had to work; yeah, right). It turned out fine. I was just happy to have the people I loved there and tried not to focus on the other bits.

Oh, and I had to laugh at your niceness over arranging the in-laws and your family to meet. I had the *opposite* problem: I kept them as separate as I could. They met on the wedding day and will probably never see each other ever again! (My fam and DH's fam are COMPLETELY different in the way we communicate)

Good luck and stay strong!

 

[AbbyPan]

This happened to us too. DH's brother-in-law said that if his kids weren't welcome, he wasn't welcome. I said there simply wasn't any room (which wasn't true but what do they know? ). He sulked and ended up not coming (claiming that he had to work; yeah, right). It turned out fine. I was just happy to have the people I loved there and tried not to focus on the other bits.

Oh, and I had to laugh at your niceness over arranging the in-laws and your family to meet. I had the *opposite* problem: I kept them as separate as I could. They met on the wedding day and will probably never see each other ever again! (My fam and DH's fam are COMPLETELY different in the way we communicate)

Good luck and stay strong!

thanks...
yikes! well, I would understand if your dh's bil was out of state, but if they are local, what's the big deal?

Poor thing... I read your trip report, you had a beautiful wedding! Who needs moody relatives?!?!?!?

 

[Glorydaz]

don't any of you ever feel like just crying your eyes out until you don't care anymore?

ok, i'll let ya'll know what Kona's says.

Kona is great ( we just ate there last week - quick trip to relax) - I'm sure they can be accommodating - good luck!

and I understand the crying thing - just keep it short and sweet and then focus on the good stuff!

Michelle

 

[purplegirl247]

thanks...
yikes! well, I would understand if your dh's bil was out of state, but if they are local, what's the big deal?

Poor thing... I read your trip report, you had a beautiful wedding! Who needs moody relatives?!?!?!?

Not only were they local, but our wedding was at noon on a weekday. His kids were in school! It isn't like they needed a babysitter; in fact, they would've had to pull the kids out of school so they could attend.

Glad you enjoyed my trip report. Also glad this thread seems to be providing some solutions for ya!

 

[AbbyPan]

Michelle, i am soooo jealous that you were at Kona's!!!

Well, i just got off the phone with Disney dining.

They were able to fit 16 people together for a 7:30pm seating @ Ohana's. the problem is that I have to leave my friends out of it . My close friend Alex will have to be seperated. I made her family ADR's at 7:40 at Kona's. I hope she'll be okay. Do you guys think that's mean? I added her in last minute.

Kona doesn't have anything for 20 people until 9pm.

I am still planning to ask if we can sqweeze 5 more in at Ohana's when we get there, maybe something might open up

 

[Gillian]

I hope you can work out something for Monday night, but if not, just let it go. There are some things that are out of your control and just not worth worrying about. It will be fine!

The extra people are annoying. Having been the younger cousin at a wedding with no friends or people my age to hang with, I can understand wanting to bring the gf (bf?) but the one with the family member and honduras is weird. Even if it's a good deal to come to Disney, couldn't they skip the wedding?

As long as the wedding day goes well, the rest doesn't matter. And even if it doesn't, you will have a long, happy marriage to make up for it.

 

[princessdisneybelle]

Michelle, i am soooo jealous that you were at Kona's!!!

Well, i just got off the phone with Disney dining.

They were able to fit 16 people together for a 7:30pm seating @ Ohana's. the problem is that I have to leave my friends out of it . My close friend Alex will have to be seperated. I made her family ADR's at 7:40 at Kona's. I hope she'll be okay. Do you guys think that's mean? I added her in last minute.

Kona doesn't have anything for 20 people until 9pm.

I am still planning to ask if we can sqweeze 5 more in at Ohana's when we get there, maybe something might open up

How about calling and seeing what restaraunts have room for 20? The CM might have some suggestions.

 

[Glorydaz]

Michelle, i am soooo jealous that you were at Kona's!!!

Well, i just got off the phone with Disney dining.

They were able to fit 16 people together for a 7:30pm seating @ Ohana's. the problem is that I have to leave my friends out of it . My close friend Alex will have to be seperated. I made her family ADR's at 7:40 at Kona's. I hope she'll be okay. Do you guys think that's mean? I added her in last minute.

Kona doesn't have anything for 20 people until 9pm.

I am still planning to ask if we can sqweeze 5 more in at Ohana's when we get there, maybe something might open up

oh Abby, it was GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! except for the father that let his 2 year old son run back and forth ( seriously) for like 15 minutes in the front of the restaurant! some people......

I'll bet if you talk to someone when you get there - they will help you out...tables close to each other ...chin up! and no, not mean at all but sometimes you just cannot fix everything, no matter how hard you try.

Michelle

 

[AbbyPan]

How about calling and seeing what restaraunts have room for 20? The CM might have some suggestions.

Does anyone know a quick way of getting through all the ridiculous prompts when calling Disney Dining? I think I would call more often if it weren't for that...

ok, I'll stop being silly and call now...

 

[Glorydaz]

Does anyone know a quick way of getting through all the ridiculous prompts when calling Disney Dining? I think I would call more often if it weren't for that...

ok, I'll stop being silly and call now...

ok Abby, I don't know how much of a help this is BUT...when you want to order a special occasion cake ( birthday, anniversary, etc.) - you can call the restaurants direct . I've done it and was able to speak to the chef in charge.

Kona does not have a number listed but this is the number for O'hana's - maybe they can switch you over or give you the number. tell them you're interested in a cake (nice idea)....
407 824-2165

Michelle

 

[AbbyPan]

ok Abby, I don't know how much of a help this is BUT...when you want to order a special occasion cake ( birthday, anniversary, etc.) - you can call the restaurants direct . I've done it and was able to speak to the chef in charge.

Kona does not have a number listed but this is the number for O'hana's - maybe they can switch you over or give you the number. tell them you're interested in a cake (nice idea)....
407 824-2165

Michelle

ha!!! Michelle! you just made me laugh! I think I may just call the directly and ask for a cake
Gillian- thanks, I'm learning that planning a dftw is not all fairytale.heehee...