Son wants to protest new school dress code(which would likely get him into trouble)

[ScarlettO]

Tell him he should be glad he doesn't live in my city-all HS students in Public School wear uniforms-kakki or navy pants and a collared knit shirt in certain colors(navy , white, green and red).


I do agree that the "no black' one is rather bizarre.

 

[MICKEY88]

I'd be willing to bet the reason for belts is to eliminate boys from walking around with their boxers showing,

my son didn't do that intentionally , but because he wasn't wearing a belt, every time he bent over, his boxers showed, or worse yet, he had the plumber look going on, I bought him a belt, which he had to be reminded to wear, after a few weeks of reminders I finally told him that the next time he flashed his butt while bending over, I'd give him a wedgie that he'd never forget,


so I think the mandatory belt is not a big deal,

the wearing of black on the other hand is ludicrous...my entire work wardobe is black dress pants and black dress shirts,,, my Mickey ties really stand out that way..

 

[EsmeraldaX]

I like the wear crazy things suggestion.

We have a stupid rule at my office that men can only wear collared shirts.

That means that a nice sweater or non collared dress shirt would not be allowed but obnoxious collared Hawaiian shirts and sports/band shirts with collars would be just peachy.

You can imagine what the guys did.

They are now allowed to "use their judgement" about shirts to wear.


Black was worn by the columbine kids. Black is also worn by a lot of artists, poets, kids who are self concious about their weight, girls having their monthly annoyance, people who are shy and not comfortable in bright colors.

White, Pink and Red are also gang colors. Are they going to just start banning all colors just because a few bad kids chose it as their color??

I'm with your son all the way!

 

[camper]

I have a teenage daughter that wears black every day. She is a great student and stays out of trouble. I know she would protest a rule like that. And I would support her.

 

[Skywalker]

Personally, I think a dress code is a pretty trivial thing to protest over. I have usually seen black arm bands to symbolize something much more signifigant. However, if it makes him feel better to get in his say that way, no harm in it I guess.

 

[alabamaalan]

Originally posted by MICKEY88
perhaps he could wear a black belt.....

Nah, if he came in dressed as a martial artist, people would only think he was looking for a fight....

I agree the "no black" sounds ridiculous for the reasoning. A lot of public schools around here wear uniforms composed of khaki pants and solid colored polo shirts.

I suspect "someone" made a decision based on what he/she thought were "gang symbols". Perhaps if a group of parents ask the board they can work together to establish a more reasonable dress code.

 

[stinkerbelle]

Originally posted by Disney Doll
A an aside, we live in a small suburban town (not quite rural, but very small suburban) and you'd be amazed at the things that are going on in high school that the parents of the kids think "aren't happening here".

ITA...I came from a small town...and you wouldn't believe what some of the kids in my HS class did and got away with. Just because it's a small town doesn't mean there aren't any 'bad apples' in there.

 

[izzy]

Originally posted by Disney Doll
[A an aside, we live in a small suburban town (not quite rural, but very small suburban) and you'd be amazed at the things that are going on in high school that the parents of the kids think "aren't happening here".[/COLOR]

I was just getting ready to post the same thing. I live in a fairly small rural area, and I also didn't think we had gangs in the area. Then there was a murder in the area, and it was gang related. Unfortunately when it came to trial, guess who got called for jury duty and ultimately got placed on the jury? I was absolutely shocked and appalled at some of the testimony I heard from 16 and 17 year olds. I couldn't believe such things were going on in our nice little community. Talk with one of your local police officers if you really want to hear what's going on in your community. It would curl your hair.

With regard to the "you must wear a belt" rule, perhaps that's so their darn pants stay up and we can stop seeing their underwear and worse --

 

[MHopkins2]

Originally posted by gallaj0
How about a protest where he IS following the rules, to the letter.
Have everyone get the biggest, ugliest belts they can find, pair it up with some plaid and stripes, the most obnoxious colors they can find. Thrift stores are good for this kind of thing. If they can't wear jackets, have everyone wear a sweater, but wear it around your neck like Buffy at Todd at the polo club.
The idea is to make them see the absurdity in such arbitrary rules, and realize the error of their ways.
And as long as they follwing the written letter of the law, they have no ground to stand on if they try to hand out any punishment for the protest. By defining what they can't wear, that leaves everything else good to wear, otherwise it would be on the list.

This was pretty much my thought - operate within the letter of the law, but violate the spirit of it to the greatest extent humanly possible.

ITA with several other posters that this particular dress code is arbitrary and ridiculous. I don't necessarily agree with but can understand the rationale for things like length of shorts, but restricting a color (in the absence of gang issues) is just plain stupid. The school board or principal or whoever needs to get the heck over him- or themselves.

 

[piratesmate]

I'm sorry - wearing a belt will not guarantee that you won't see underwear. It doesn't say "wear them tight". DS had friends who always wore belts with their too-large-baggy-jeans-so-you-could-see-their-underwear....but not at school. (Our school simply stated "No underwear showing.")

I'd be tempted to wear the belt through a single loop, but buckled - you know, hanging down.

As for not wearing the color black....back in the mid 1960s one of the boys at our school was sent home for wearing all black. Oddly enough, he became a pastor.

 

[lindajo]

Originally posted by GoofItUp
There are times to protest and times to not act like a bratty teenager. I think this falls in the latter category. I really wanted to wear some cute summer pants to work today, but couldn't because it's not in the dress code. Those are the rules, and I have to follow them. He, too, will have rules throughout his life that he doesn't like but has to follow. Get use to it.

Sounds like the kids at school are grouping together and getting riled up over this. Try and help him put it in perspective. It's probably not really as big of a deal as what they're making it. There must have been some reason the dress code was implemented. Or does your school board just enjoy being mean?

Good luck!

I agree with you GoofItUp. There must be a reason for all the restrictions. I know that our schools have restrictions that seem odd, but are completely valid-example-shirts must be tucked in, no low-riding baggy pants. This makes it hard to hide weapons in those areas. Girls cannot wear shorts too high, no tank tops, hair must be a "natural" hair color no body piercings other than ears. They are trying to do away with some distractions. We do not have a lot of problems in our schools either, but I imagine Columbine didn't have problems before the shootings, either.

High school is a preparation for life. He is going to have to follow a dress code, most likely, in the career he choses.

Possibly presenting his concerns/questions to the makers of these rules could give him answers that he could live with, although why everyone is afraid to tell a kid to "Just do it" is beyond me-but my kids are only 4&6, ask again in about 8 years!

I personally wish that the schools would require uniforms, then this type of thing wouldn't be an issue.

If you are afraid that your straight-A son may hurt his standing with a protest, why not exercise a little parental authority and just say, "NO"?

 

[6_Time_Momma]

If you are afraid that your straight-A son may hurt his standing with a protest, why not exercise a little parental authority and just say, "NO"?

Well, I believe in my OP I DID state that my husband and I said it would be unacceptable to break the rules. I don't have a problem with him protesting that which he doesn't beleive is right, the problem is with him breaking the rules to accomplish that.

 

[lindajo]

Originally posted by 6_Time_Momma
DH and I have told him this would not be allowed.....he needs to find a non-rulebreaking way to protest it. He doesn't seem to grasp the idea of possible disciplinary action by doing a protest in the way he wants, or he doesn't care. He is a straight A student, in band and track, and has never been in trouble at school. I sure as heck don't want him to ruin his record, especially over something like a dress code.

On the other hand, I HAVE always told him to stand up for things he believes in. Now, anyone have any suggestions as to what I can say to convince him NOT to try and break the rules, but rather find another way of protesting? (Other than threatening him with grounding, etc)

Sorry, you did say that it would not be allowed, but then later in your post you asked how to CONVINCE him not to try and break the rules...That's where the parental authority should step in, IMO.

Like I said, I haven't reached the wonderful teenage years yet. I would like to think that I would just say,"no, do what you are told to do"and that would be the end of it. You all can laugh at my statements in about 8 years!!

 

[Christine]

Call me old-fashioned--WAY old fashioned, but I believe in following the rules. I know that some aspects of this new dress code seem ridiculous (especially the no-black thing). I think the school was really trying to say "no GOTH dressing." You've seen those kids all in black or partially in black, girls with the heavy black eyeliner and black nail polish. It is a GOTH look that they are probably trying to avoid.

Anyway, the school has set the boundries and, as they stand, I believe your son should follow them. For kids, school IS the job. It's not a social club for you to flaunt your fashion sense and see who can outdress each other. I don't fault the school for trying to stop this. Unless the administrators are insane, they probably see examples of clothing distractions everyday and this is how they based their dress code.

I think it is up to you to tell you son that, for now, he must obey the rules and that YOU will broach the administration with your parental concerns about adhering to the clothing since you buy it and have paid for his already existant wardrobe. Tell them--hey, I bought my kid 3 black T-shirts from Old Navy last week--why is that a problem. Let them tell you. I don't think we should encourage kids to be disrespectful of the rules set down by their school administrators.

Personally, I would have a problem with the no-black thing. My son, who is only 9 by the way, stains every shirt he gets. So I search for every black and navy blue T-shirt I can find so that I can get more than a few wearings out of it.

 

[GoofItUp]

I guess one of my big problems with the 'protest' idea is the in-your-face attitude it exhibits. Honestly, the rules do seem a bit absurd. If your son/you don't like them, go see the administrators/school board members that instituted them and let them know that you think it's overboard. If they don't want kids underwear showing (something ITA with!!!) then the rule should be 'no underwear showing' rather than 'wear a belt'. I can see so much more benefit in talking to the people and understanding where they're coming from rather than copping an attitude and 'protesting' with a black arm band. You would probably accomplish more by discussing it with them than by just breaking the rules.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by Christine
Call me old-fashioned--WAY old fashioned, but I believe in following the rules. I know that some aspects of this new dress code seem ridiculous (especially the no-black thing). I think the school was really trying to say "no GOTH dressing." You've seen those kids all in black or partially in black, girls with the heavy black eyeliner and black nail polish. It is a GOTH look that they are probably trying to avoid.

Anyway, the school has set the boundries and, as they stand, I believe your son should follow them. For kids, school IS the job. It's not a social club for you to flaunt your fashion sense and see who can outdress each other. I don't fault the school for trying to stop this. Unless the administrators are insane, they probably see examples of clothing distractions everyday and this is how they based their dress code.

So why not ban makeup/piercings or whatever else? 99% of the kids who dress that way are harmless anyway. But why ban anything that is black.

Lot's of non goth kids wear black too. I was never a Goth but I always worse black and other dark colors. I looked and still look awful in light colors. I almost always wore all black. Still do.

I agree school is not a fashion show, but I don't think you should ban an entire color from the students' wardrobes.

 

[Christine]

Originally posted by EsmeraldaX
So why not ban makeup/piercings or whatever else? 99% of the kids who dress that way are harmless anyway. But why ban anything that is black.

Lot's of non goth kids wear black too. I was never a Goth but I always worse black and other dark colors. I looked and still look awful in light colors. I almost always wore all black. Still do.

I agree school is not a fashion show, but I don't think you should ban an entire color from the students' wardrobes.

EsmereldaX,
If you read my entire post, I'm sure you will see that I am in total agreement that the color black should not be banned. I wear black all the time, as does my DD and we are by no means "goth." I was just trying to figure out where the school might be coming from with that. What I did disagree with (and I like GoofItUp's words) is the in-your-face attitude that the kids are getting over this. At this point, I don't think we should be encouraging teenagers to get riled up against school administrators. I think that approaching the administrators regarding their reasoning is a better way. And, I think it might be good if the parents called in. I can't imagine that ANY parent is happy with the no-black rule. I would call in a heartbeat and ask for the rationale. I would not encourage my child to protest it. Fortunately, the OP is not encouraging. But I agree that she needs to put her foot down and say "NO" to her son. Not because he might get in trouble or get disciplined by the school, but because he needs to respect the rules put forth by the school.

 

[mom2boys]

So do these rules apply to teachers, staff & administration - if not they should.

 

[Madi100]

Growing up my parents stood behind authority like no other. If the school would have said that they wanted all students to arrive to school naked, would parents would enforce it, and be thrilled they just saved a bundle on school shopping. I hope when my children are older that I will at least recognize that those in authority are not always right. However, I still believe in respecting authority, and I will expect that of my children. To break a new dress code rule is showing lack of respect, no matter how simple the issue.

I can understand the desire for a lack of black. I think instead of "no black" it should be "no ALL black" Ban the goth look, but clearly define what the goth look is. Instead of requiring belts, maybe it should be required that undergarment stayed in their position of "UNDER" instead of being the main attraction. That rule would apply for both girls and boys. We don't need to see boxers, and we certainly don't need to see those Victoria's Secrets.

A child should be allowed to express themselves, but they should be able to do it in a way that doesn't break the rules. By breaking the rules, they are expressing disrespect.

If there seriously is a problem with dress code, and it is felt by much of the school, it is the responsibility of the parents to go to the school and talk to them about this.

 

[izzy]

It *is* possible that the "no black shirts" rule has something to do with gangs. Around here, they have banned the school kids from wearing red shirts because the school officials found out that this color shirt was the official "uniform" of some local gang. (Since that gang murder happened here a few years ago, it seems like we are now hearing about a lot of gang activity in our area. I never thought I'd see that day)

Yes, I realize that the gangs around here will now just pick something else like a wearing a blue bandana to signify their affiliation, but I'm sure the schools around here feel like they at least need to make the attempt. Otherwise, a bunch of parents will be down their necks if something gang-related to happened to one of their kids.

Sometimes rules suck, especially ones that seem stupid on the surface, but maybe these rules are put into place for a good reason. Perhaps the parents and students need to ask the school officials *why* these dress codes were put into place, rather than the kids just assuming the administration is just doing it willy-nilly and to make their lifes miserable.