Son is getting braces+glasses+haircut all in one day. Too much? Any ideas for a reward for being a trooper?

[Corporateshill]

Basically my son has a lot that has pilled up before he needs to go back to school. He needs to pick up glasses, get braces, and he needs to get a short haircut because of his schools hair requirements, and he is not super happy about any of it. He asked for contacts, but the doctor says he needs to adjust to the prescription and it may need to be tweaked. If he diligently wears them all the time, in six months to a year he can switch to contacts. He is also not too happy about the haircut, he has had ample opportunity to cut it shorter over the summer but keeps putting it off so now he's got to cut it all at once.

I could only get one day off where these places were also open, so I had to pack it into one unfortunate day for him.

I decided we will pick up the glasses, go get his haircut. I said that since he would be wearing his glasses, the barber will really know a good cut for him. I then plan on taking him to lunch his, choice, then taking him to get the braces.

I know it's a big day, and boys his age are pretty self concious about their looks, and I wish we could of spaced out the changes. But maybe all at once is actually better. Is there anymore I can do to sort of help him out here?

 

[Buzz Rules]

A really cool looking coat/jacket can really be a confidence booster (speaking as someone who wears glasses and had braces). Also a bento lunch box would also be a cool upgrade for school lunches.

 

[NotUrsula]

If his school has a uniform, a pair of great sneakers might be good, assuming you can afford it after paying for all those other items in one day.

He's getting what amounts to a complete makeover, so maybe, if he isn't having issues with the braces, a special outing with a couple of friends before school starts; perhaps a movie? That would give him a chance to let some people he knows see the new "look" before he walks into school with it, which might lower the anxiety about how it will be received.

Also, it's probably a good idea to quietly alert his teachers that he is supposed to wear glasses now. Kids that age will often ditch them at school if they get a chance, which isn't good, because they get lost easily when kids try to hide them.

 

[barkley]

have him eat something he enjoys right before the braces b/c his teeth will hurt in the following days so he might as well enjoy it while he can. as for the everything being done at once-he chose not to get the hair done so that's on him. the glasses-it's hard but nothing can be done about it so it is what it is. i don't know how old he is but it sounds like he already has a chip on his shoulder about this so i wouldn't spend too much time trying to sooth his feelings by buying him things. it's almost better to let him (for lack of a better term) 'smolder' with his anger/disappointment. buying him off with stuff is not a solution.


before anyone labels me as an ogre-if you've ever seen the movie 'romy and michelle's high school reunion' you've seen what is known as a 'milwaukee brace'. it's a full (chin to crotch) 360 degree back brace that is traditionally worn 23 1/2 hours per day (30 minutes off to bathe). the dynamics of the brace are such that there are very limited clothing options (such that even uniformed schools will make accommodations). i entered my first and continued all remaining years of high school with this form of brace, i also acquired glasses. after 6 months in the brace i came to same realization many females wearers did-that anything other than a very short haircut resulted in hair becoming painfully knotted in the larger protruding screw on the neck of the brace. i therefore ended up as one of the only girls in my 70's era of flowing farrah fawcet hair to have a tinkerbell pixie cut

yeah, it was awful-but nothing my parents could have bought for me would have made it better. it just took time and adjustment (with a sympathetic ear at home).

'icing on the cake'????? i found out i had tmj when i started college. i ended up with full top and bottom braces (after having gone through it in grade school already) for the first year THEN had jaw surgery and spent the next 6 weeks of college with my jaws wired shut and looking like my face had been pummeled with a baseball bat. yup, tons of fun-but on the plus side you figure out pretty quickly who your real friends are.

 

[mousefan73]

I am a sucker for my kids. I probably would have bought him a pair of sneakers that cost more than what I am normally willing to spend..

 

[QueenIsabella]

"Tis the season, isn't it! Good luck to you and your son.

No suggestions on what to get for him--I would go with something he's been wanting (clothes? video game? new skateboard?).

I do have a couple other suggestions--get ice cream and smoothie ingredients. The first couple days after braces are painful, my kids really appreciated smoothies for breakfast. Tylenol can help.

It's extremely likely that many of his classmates are going through the same thing with the glasses and braces. It sucks, but it's just a part of life.

Make sure you compliment him on the glasses, and him wearing them regularly (can be a problem). Mention that, since he's showing maturity with wearing them, you're more likely to upgrade to contacts. Mention that a lot.

I feel your pain.

 

[slo]

In regards to the glasses I would take his script to somewhere like Wal-Mart and let him pick out a couple inexpensive frames so he can switch his glasses with different outfits. I did this for myself and I love being able to switch my glasses around so I’m not stuck with the same pair every day. If you make glasses fun for him, then he won’t hate them as much.

I hope he has a great school year!

 

[AnnaS]

A special treat before braces (even the day before) and lunch is perfect (unless you always go out to lunch with him then it would not seem out of the norm/ordinary).

Make it a fun mon and son day!

 

[MamaMermaid]

How old is he?

I'd definitely let him pick his favorite place for lunch because he's not going to want to eat after those braces go on. Depending on age, I may surprise him with a gifcard/toy/whatever that he's been wanting.

What a champ - hope it goes well!

 

[fly girl]

That’s a bummer about the contacts - I went straight to them when I got them at age 13. Were you shocked when the optometrist said 6-12 months, or is there a underlying issue with his eyes that contacts are not appropriate? If you were shocked as well, maybe consider another optometrist? I know it sounds like a lot, but glasses can be the back up to contacts anyway.

The haircut. Well, that isn’t the end of the world. He knew it was coming and it is what it is.

Braces. Oh I feel for him there. They are not fun. I am glad you are going to lunch. If he loves corn on the cob maybe go to a place that has it because he won't be able to enjoy it on the cob for some time. (I know ... how many places serve it!? ) Be prepared for pain tomorrow. Have some soft food he loves at the ready.

I do feel for your son, today isn't a fun day for him. But this is life. Getting the nice lunch suffices to me. If he is a teenager, he has to learn that life is full of crummy things nobody wants to do. Today was a rip the band aid off day -- rather have it all at once than the day after day doom.

Again, have some of his favorites soft foods at home for tomorrow. Maybe even pick up his favorite soft serve ice cream on the way home from work. Deep down, even if he is still full of attitude - which is so typical, he knows you do sympathize with him.


ETA - I am in totally agreement of meeting up with his friends before school starts. First day of school is always full of jitters even if you didn't change anything about your appearance. Tackling the appearance change beforehand is a wonderful idea!

 

[Corporateshill]

If his school has a uniform, a pair of great sneakers might be good, assuming you can afford it after paying for all those other items in one day.

He's getting what amounts to a complete makeover, so maybe, if he isn't having issues with the braces, a special outing with a couple of friends before school starts; perhaps a movie? That would give him a chance to let some people he knows see the new "look" before he walks into school with it, which might lower the anxiety about how it will be received.

Also, it's probably a good idea to quietly alert his teachers that he is supposed to wear glasses now. Kids that age will often ditch them at school if they get a chance, which isn't good, because they get lost easily when kids try to hide them.

Yes, I think the sort of makeover aspect is what is causing him the anxiety, he said at one point that we are turning him into a nerd lol. Even though we explained to him that glasses can be cool and the ones he choose looks good on him. He likes his long surfer hair, but I showed him a couple of short ideas that would look good on him.

I think getting him together with friends right before school starts would help, and sort of break the ice over his new look.

 

[barkley]

I do have a couple other suggestions--get ice cream and smoothie ingredients. The first couple days after braces are painful, my kids really appreciated smoothies for breakfast. Tylenol can help.

do orthodontists still make those rubber chewing plates to use after adjustments? those were a godsend for the initial 'install' and all the adjustments. you might also want to see if the orthodontist provides it or if you need to get it at a pharmacy but dental wax is something you want available at all times in the event a wire pops or just gets to rubbing a spot in your mouth. keep it at home, in a locker at school...you don't need it till you need it and then you will be very happy you have it.

 

[Corporateshill]

That’s a bummer about the contacts - I went straight to them when I got them at age 13. Were you shocked when the optometrist said 6-12 months, or is there a underlying issue with his eyes that contacts are not appropriate? If you were shocked as well, maybe consider another optometrist? I know it sounds like a lot, but glasses can be the back up to contacts anyway.

The haircut. Well, that isn’t the end of the world. He knew it was coming and it is what it is.

Braces. Oh I feel for him there. They are not fun. I am glad you are going to lunch. If he loves corn on the cob maybe go to a place that has it because he won't be able to enjoy it on the cob for some time. (I know ... how many places serve it!? ) Be prepared for pain tomorrow. Have some soft food he loves at the ready.

I do feel for your son, today isn't a fun day for him. But this is life. Getting the nice lunch suffices to me. If he is a teenager, he has to learn that life is full of crummy things nobody wants to do. Today was a rip the band aid off day -- rather have it all at once than the day after day doom.

Again, have some of his favorites soft foods at home for tomorrow. Maybe even pick up his favorite soft serve ice cream on the way home from work. Deep down, even if he is still full of attitude - which is so typical, he knows you do sympathize with him.


ETA - I am in totally agreement of meeting up with his friends before school starts. First day of school is always full of jitters even if you didn't change anything about your appearance. Tackling the appearance change beforehand is a wonderful idea!

Hmmmh... I've never had glasses so I didn't know. The glasses are for his headaches vs really his ability to see (which I can emphasize to him, it's to stop headaches!) The optometrist says he never prescribes contacts until six months after glasses because we may have to tweak the prescription anyways.

The haircut is slightly on him (although i won't make a big deal of that). We suggested throughout the summer that he can shorten it gradually so he wouldn't have to chop it all at the end.

Definitly doing the lunch at his place of choice, I do actually think it may be easier to just kind of get it all done once. I may see if he wants to go shopping for some non-school uniform clothes, so he can sort of feel like he has some choice in his appearance.

 

[fly girl]

Hmmmh... I've never had glasses so I didn't know. The glasses are for his headaches vs really his ability to see (which I can emphasize to him, it's to stop headaches!) The optometrist says he never prescribes contacts until six months after glasses because we may have to tweak the prescription anyways.

The haircut is slightly on him (although i won't make a big deal of that). We suggested throughout the summer that he can shorten it gradually so he wouldn't have to chop it all at the end.

Definitly doing the lunch at his place of choice, I do actually think it may be easier to just kind of get it all done once. I may see if he wants to go shopping for some non-school uniform clothes, so he can sort of feel like he has some choice in his appearance.

Well I am unsure if the headaches would be cause to not have contacts, but tweaking contacts is extremely easy if you get disposables. And you get a trail pair for a few weeks. Personally, I have worn contacts for over 35 years, and I have a teenage daughter that was offered contacts on her first visit when she was a tween. I would get a second opinion if he really wants contacts. This is my very tender side with teenagers. They are struggling enough with self acceptance — if they want contacts over glasses and can handle the responsibility, go for it. Granted, if it will help with his headaches. Sounds like this optometrist has a certain way, but you have a right to switch and/or get a second opinion as well. JMHO.