Son getting a hard time from teacher...Advice please!!

[dolphindan1]

UPDATE

Well I just hung up the phone with the teacher to schedule meeting...we are meeting tomorrow afternoon...I said thank and I will see you tomorrow...She then goes I just wanna give you a heads up on your son....He is a great kid, no problems whatsoever...He loves to work out...She said I only had one issue with him and it was friday when he got his progress report, she said he got upset and said this is bullcrap....She said as far as the 0's its for a journal that they are to keep for working out and he can still turn it in and probably still get an A by the end of the 9 weeks...then she said again he is a great kid....I said ok I still wanna meet with you and make sure I know everything I need to know about the journal....I told her thanks and we hung up....

So now what? Do I do anything about the bad influence comments or what do I do? Do I call her on it face to face.....If he is such a great kid why would she be saying that? Why would the other kids say that? still very strange...

 

[smitch425]

UPDATE

Well I just hung up the phone with the teacher to schedule meeting...we are meeting tomorrow afternoon...I said thank and I will see you tomorrow...She then goes I just wanna give you a heads up on your son....He is a great kid, no problems whatsoever...He loves to work out...She said I only had one issue with him and it was friday when he got his progress report, she said he got upset and said this is bullcrap....She said as far as the 0's its for a journal that they are to keep for working out and he can still turn it in and probably still get an A by the end of the 9 weeks...then she said again he is a great kid....I said ok I still wanna meet with you and make sure I know everything I need to know about the journal....I told her thanks and we hung up....

So now what? Do I do anything about the bad influence comments or what do I do? Do I call her on it face to face.....If he is such a great kid why would she be saying that? Why would the other kids say that? still very strange...

The first thing I would do is punish your son for making that comment. After that, I would get a feel for how the meeting is going and see if you feel comfortable disclosing the other information to her. It could have been a comment made as a joke that just didn't go well. At least know you know that the grade is all on him. Good luck tomorrow.

 

[Robbi]

UPDATE

Well I just hung up the phone with the teacher to schedule meeting...we are meeting tomorrow afternoon...I said thank and I will see you tomorrow...She then goes I just wanna give you a heads up on your son....He is a great kid, no problems whatsoever...He loves to work out...She said I only had one issue with him and it was friday when he got his progress report, she said he got upset and said this is bullcrap....She said as far as the 0's its for a journal that they are to keep for working out and he can still turn it in and probably still get an A by the end of the 9 weeks...then she said again he is a great kid....I said ok I still wanna meet with you and make sure I know everything I need to know about the journal....I told her thanks and we hung up....

So now what? Do I do anything about the bad influence comments or what do I do? Do I call her on it face to face.....If he is such a great kid why would she be saying that? Why would the other kids say that? still very strange...

Seems weird that she had only 1 issue with him after having heard from 2 people that she called him a bad influence. Sounds like CYA to me. Don't go in defensive. Don't be aggressive but firm and confident.Tell her exactly what was told to you about your son being a bad influence. Were you able to arrange a meeting with an another school adult present? This is because she may have exhibited this behavior to other kids as well.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Wow you have a good memory...LOL

To respond...My son has been doing great at the new school....maintaining a 3.0 and has not been in trouble once...Like I previously pointed out he has great comments from all his other teachers...So thats why the confusion....changing schools was the best thing we ever did for him...He loves the new school and has been welcomed with open arms...He is also getting alot of contact from colleges for baseball...I really dont want this, a PE class that he probably doesnt even need, 4th year in PE, to be his downfall...

Also I have not jumped to any conclusion as to who is at fault...I was just wanting advice on how to handle it....nothing more...

Thanks

Yeah, I kept thinking I had already read about a star athlete failing a gym class--it is odd enough that it jogged my memory I guess

Sounds like you are on the right track. I'm glad the new school is working out for your son.

 

[Mkrop]

Why on earth does an athlete have to take any PE classes? Don't other schools give PE credit for the sport?

Our kids go to whatever sport they play for one block (class) each day. And that is their PE credit.

DD gets a PE credit for show choir and fine art credit for choir.


As for advise, go and meet with the teacher. If you think there is a crush--teacher to student--going on, maybe the meeting should include an administrator.

Younger ds always seemed to have problems getting along with first year teachers. They either were trying so hard to maintain control that every little thing was an issue or tried too hard to be a friend instead of a teacher. It wasn't all them though, he took advantage of their lack of experience. We just learned not to let him be put in the class of a first year teacher.

In DS16's high school, sports do not count as a PE credit.

 

[robinb]

In DS16's high school, sports do not count as a PE credit.

it doesn't count in my DD's high school either and she participates on 2 sports. They don't even have 'gym for athletes' like some schools which focuses on conditioning. She'll have to take gym with all the couch potatoes!

 

[RunningGirl]

I would not address the supposed comments. I would only address the unfinished journal - and boy, would my kid get it for not doing that!

I'm wondering how he can be participating in sports with an F? Our kids get weekly reports from every teacher sent to the coach, and if you're failing you are off the team until you can pull your grade up. You're also off the team for bad conduct during school.

 

[KAMLEM]

it doesn't count in my DD's high school either and she participates on 2 sports. They don't even have 'gym for athletes' like some schools which focuses on conditioning. She'll have to take gym with all the couch potatoes!

Let me start by saying I am not being defensive because my kids are both athletes and participate in varsity and club sports year round but I think that this comment is very unfair. There are plenty of kids who are not athletes but they are definitely not couch potatoes. My friend's girls are involved in theatre and student government and they are as busy as my kids, definitely not couch potatoes. It's too bad that your daughter may have to take PE with kids who aren't the best athletes, they may feel the same about her in a music class or some other activity that she's not so interested in.

 

[lauradis]

it doesn't count in my DD's high school either and she participates on 2 sports. They don't even have 'gym for athletes' like some schools which focuses on conditioning. She'll have to take gym with all the couch potatoes!

Haha couch potatoes. Hope they are nerds too.

It really was fun to see all the popular, prep, jocks from high school and see how couch potatoe they became.

 

[DopeyDame]

OP, did you have the meeting today? How did it go? Any additional insight into what's really going on?
Hope it went well!

 

[dolphindan1]

OP, did you have the meeting today? How did it go? Any additional insight into what's really going on?
Hope it went well!

Sure did...It went fine...She actually had the guidance counselor set up to sit in...We went over the 0's on his progress report and she said he can make those up...Said my son was a great kid, does his workouts, and she really has no problems with him except one time...I said did you write him up, or talk to him, ar anything...She said no...I said from this point on that she needs to do that and email me immediately...She said its only when he is with one student, my sons fried that just trasnferred in...I said she needs to seperate them....
She said she wonders if he is taking her for granted being a woman PE teacher...I told her I would make sure he didnt...
She said she is a very competitive person and she always tries to get my son on her team when they are picking teams when they play games cause she know he is gonna go all out and try to win...and she loves that...
The guidance counselor talked some...ABout my sons future etc etc etc...they both said they didnt want a dumb PE class to jeapordize any chance he has at playing college baseball...or even just getting into college....
I mentioned the comments, towards the end...I told her I dont wanna make a big deal about this...She said YES I said it and I was wrong...but I also said it abut the other kid too...I said I dont think its right, as a teacher, to talk negatively about any student to other students...especially when you have never even pulled my son aside and talked to him, or written him up...She agreed...so I left it at that...

I found out, that yesterday she pulled my son aside and confronted him about if I had heard what she had said...My son told her yes...

Plus she had asked other teachers,as I coach JV at the school, about what kind of person i am...She said she was very worried...

I was very calm but serious....She thanked me and said the last couple parent meetings were very confrontational and that I was a breath of fresh air to deal with..LOL...I told her listen...We all make mistakes...We are human...we learn from them and that she would be ok....

What was funny as she and I walked out of the meeting...we walked by anther classroom and that teacher called me in, the PE teacher stood there, and that teacher said...I just wanna tell you what a pleasure your son has been to teach, She said he helps me out in class, and even helps the other students....She said I dont know what i would do without him...I made sure the PE teacher heard that...LOL

My son tells me tonight...that he heard from a couple students that the PE teacher was mad after the meeting that I knew about the comments...I told him it doesnt matter...I told him..If you do what your suppose to do and not smart off he would be fine...and if he had just been doing his work I wouldne even have had to have this meeting...I told him this teacher is to be his new best friend..

Thats realy all I can remember...this teacher is young mid 20's and I think still learning how to deal with people

 

[lauradis]

Good for you op it always helps to keep calm and really listen.

People tend to go out of their way to meet reasonable demands from reasonable people.

Pe teacher will get it.

 

[DopeyDame]

Thanks for the update OP! Sounds like she's a young teacher who is still trying to get a handle on classroom management, but that she's willing to listen and learn, and that you were willing to listen to her too. Awesome! Hope things are a lot better for him from here on out.

 

[momz]

it doesn't count in my DD's high school either and she participates on 2 sports. They don't even have 'gym for athletes' like some schools which focuses on conditioning. She'll have to take gym with all the couch potatoes!

Your comment sounds rather elitist. Just because a kid does not participate in school sponsored sports does not make them a couch potato.

Apparently you and I see school sponsored sports differently. I will not call your child names simply because she participates in these programs. Please don't make assumptions about those that don't

How terrible that your poor DD has to learn to associate with those non-athletes that are "below" her.

 

[rigs32]

I know some might not like that the teacher was asking around before the meeting about OP, but if I were her I would want to know what I was walking into as well.

That said, why is it so hard for people to have open and honest communication these days? Why must someone always be attacking and someone defending? It sounds like OP's meeting went the way it should - air the issues, create a plan to address them.

Heck, ten minutes ago I saw the big boss in the office and commented that she looked to be in a much better mood than when I last saw her. The others in the room gasped as though I'd offended her. The last time I saw her she was very focused and borderline angry about something. This time she was smiling and relaxed. I don't see why it's so shocking I would say that. Thankfully, she laughed and said one of the things she likes about me is my honesty.

 

[Schmeck]

Glad it all seemed to work out, and not surprised that the son was fooling around a bit (with friend) in class. Not sure how the OP expects a teacher to 'separate' two kids in a gym class - lots of interaction/moving about in gym, it's definitely not a stationary class, LOL! It sounds like the kids were both bad influences on each other.

Glad she admitted being wrong in her approach, owned up to comments made, and explained how the son needed to get his journal done. She was smart to have back-up in there too.

 

[dolphindan1]

Glad it all seemed to work out, and not surprised that the son was fooling around a bit (with friend) in class. Not sure how the OP expects a teacher to 'separate' two kids in a gym class - lots of interaction/moving about in gym, it's definitely not a stationary class, LOL! It sounds like the kids were both bad influences on each other.

Glad she admitted being wrong in her approach, owned up to comments made, and explained how the son needed to get his journal done. She was smart to have back-up in there too.

Well they are weight lifting partners....They can change partners and if they are doing there lifting seperately it should stop most of it...She said she has them doing sport specific workouts and My son and that one kid are the only 2 to choose baseball specific so that makes it difficult...

 

[lauradis]

I know some might not like that the teacher was asking around before the meeting about OP, but if I were her I would want to know what I was walking into as well.

That said, why is it so hard for people to have open and honest communication these days? Why must someone always be attacking and someone defending? It sounds like OP's meeting went the way it should - air the issues, create a plan to address them.

Heck, ten minutes ago I saw the big boss in the office and commented that she looked to be in a much better mood than when I last saw her. The others in the room gasped as though I'd offended her. The last time I saw her she was very focused and borderline angry about something. This time she was smiling and relaxed. I don't see why it's so shocking I would say that. Thankfully, she laughed and said one of the things she likes about me is my honesty.

Some People don't like honesty anymore. Most people prefer sugar coated fakeness.
There's nothing wrong with different view points or opinions. I actually enjoy them. without the back up of website proof. lol

 

[NHdisneylover]

Overall it sounds like the meeting was a good and productive one

OP, I applaud you for going in and being calm an working with the teacher, even though she did make a mistake in how she handled the misbehavior.

Personally, I think you are sending very much the wrong signal to a high school junior by asking that he be separated from working with his friend. In my opinion, I feel that takes away the idea that HE is responsible for his own behaviour--now he can blame is "inability" to behave on the friend or on the teacher placing him with the friend.

Fooling around in class and getting called out on it is pretty normal for his age and does not mean he is a bad kid at all. BUT, to learn not to do it, I feel he needs to be told in no uncertain terms that he is to behave himself while in class no matter who he is partnered with. He is not a little kid anymore and the teacher should not have to monitor which person he can be with, HE and only HE is responsible for keeping himself in line in class.

Especially given that when he was having behaviour and grade issues for his first two years of high school, the blame was placed on the environment and he was moved to a new school--if he again sees his poor behaviour blamed on anyone but himself, he may easily fall into a trap pf continued goofing off and not taking responsibility, which could really come back to bite him once he is in college.

And I hope there was some consequence to him for not doing his journal work and also not telling you about that when you were asking him over the weekend if there was any other info you should know.
In this case, with college prospects at stake, while I generally think late work should not be accepted for full credit, I am glad he gets to do that. I would hate for him to think he can "get away" with such things on a regular basis and end up losing a scholarship because of poor grades from failure to turn things in on time, etc later on though.