Son getting a hard time from teacher...Advice please!!

[Gracie09]

wow, you assume to know this about the OPs son from one post. CRAZY. Talk about jumping to conclusions and reading between the lines. Tell me, do you ever side with a kid? or do you just assume the worst of every kid. I know that there are teachers out who are total jerks, maybe this is one of them. I also find it odd that a female coach is the weight lifting coach. We don't have any female coaches in our HS, and if we did, I doubt that they would be in the weight room with football players, and at this age that is mostly who is in there, except kids like mine that want to bulk up.

Why wouldn't a female coach be a weight lifting coach? Because she's female? Growing up I had men and woman coaches. Someone's sex shouldn't determine their job. The weights used may be higher for boys than for girls but the mechanics and safety protocols are the same.

 

[Jedana]

Why wouldn't a female coach be a weight lifting coach? Because she's female? Growing up I had men and woman coaches. Someone's sex shouldn't determine their job. The weights used may be higher for boys than for girls but the mechanics and safety protocols are the same.

In HS, we had two female coaches. One we swore was a Russian shot-putter, and the other a beanpole who escaped from a bean field. There was no way the beanpole could lift a weight off one of the football players...she could barely push the cart with the basketballs on it.

The football coach taught weight-lifting. There were two of us girls in the class that year. He was disgusted with having girls in the WL class. But for us, it was either that or running...and we hated running. As long as we dressed for class, and did the warm-ups, we got A's. Never had to lift a single weight.

 

[Robbi]

wow, you assume to know this about the OPs son from one post. CRAZY. Talk about jumping to conclusions and reading between the lines. Tell me, do you ever side with a kid? or do you just assume the worst of every kid.

I know that there are teachers out who are total jerks, maybe this is one of them.

I also find it odd that a female coach is the weight lifting coach. We don't have any female coaches in our HS, and if we did, I doubt that they would be in the weight room with football players, and at this age that is mostly who is in there, except kids like mine that want to bulk up.

When my daughter was a sophomore, she had a jerk for a PE teacher. DD as a cheerleader. Her orthopedist would not allow her to run because of some ligament in her foot. Her cheer coach understood and my daughter was just serving as a base without any jumping around. The pe teacher gave her hell even with the excuse and she was failing the quarter. We finally had a meeting with both the teacher and the guidance counselor. Teacher asked what was more important cheering or class? She refused to understand. After the meeting, she went as far as going to the doctor's office to try to get my daughter's medical information- she was a loon. When the doctor's office called to tell me this, I went directly to school and spoke to the principal. He as appalled and wiped my daughter's record in the crazy teacher's class. She was put into another class and made all A's.

 

[dolphindan1]

Thanks for all the advice so far...

I appreciate hearing both sides of this....

Let me say...I am a teacher is always right kinda person...so I have actually been pretty tough on my son over the weekend....

Yes he is a teenager and yes he smarts off to me and his mom....BUT everyone I have ever talked to, even all his other teachers say he is very respectful and not disruptive at all...I even have emails to stating that fact....Thats why my concern with this teacher...Something is just not right...I agree also there are 3 versions to every story....this story, My sons, the teachers and the correct version...

I just received an email from a parent of one of my JV players thanking me for letting my son work with her child on the basketball court....Said he is a wonderful kid and they really appreciate him taking time to do that...I didnt even know he did....

I dont think he is perfect by any means but I do believe something is not right....I will meet with her tomorrow and see what happens

 

[richmond282]

My perspective as a seasoned teacher:
I am a teacher and have dealt with my fair share of obnoxious children. It is never OK to say something like what this teacher did (He's a bad influence.) That is unprofessional and totally inappropriate. If OP's son is a disruption in class the teacher should have:
1. had a discussion with the student about his behavior. She could have another teacher present if she doesn't feel comfortable doing it on her own. Maybe get the football coach to talk to him too.
2. if the behavior continues, call the parent. I always pose it as a question to the parent "Your child seems to be having an issue with being respectful to others in class. Have you experienced this at home? Do you have any suggestions for how to deal with this situation?"
3. If step 2 doesn't work (and usually it does unless the parents are just real pills), contact the VP or principal and let them handle it.

My perspective as a former student:
I had a teacher in high school that treated me a lot like this. He would mark answers wrong that were right. He antagonized me in class and said really awful things to me. I told my parents who didn't really believe me. This went on for months until my mom had enough of hearing me complain. She met with the teacher who confirmed that "yes" he did do all of those things and "no" he couldn't stand me. My mom was completely speechless. She apologized to me for not believing me then went to the admins who handled the situation.

My perspective as a parent:
OP, you know our son. You know what he's like and if you are getting the vibe that something isn't right, then it probably isn't. I don't get the impression that you think your DS is a snowflake. Please at least follow through with meeting the teacher. Listen to both sides of the story. Be prepared to talk to the principal if need be.

Good luck. Let us know how it goes.

 

[mhsjax]

Why wouldn't a female coach be a weight lifting coach? Because she's female? Growing up I had men and woman coaches. Someone's sex shouldn't determine their job. The weights used may be higher for boys than for girls but the mechanics and safety protocols are the same.

I don't know, I didn't have one and there aren't any in my sons school. I don't think I would want a female spotting what some of these boys lift. Sure there are some that can lift that, but not many.

And really, this isn't about male and female, I shouldn't have brought that up, if he has one fine. I have just never seen one in a weight room in high school.

 

[mhsjax]

In HS, we had two female coaches. One we swore was a Russian shot-putter, and the other a beanpole who escaped from a bean field. There was no way the beanpole could lift a weight off one of the football players...she could barely push the cart with the basketballs on it.

The football coach taught weight-lifting. There were two of us girls in the class that year. He was disgusted with having girls in the WL class. But for us, it was either that or running...and we hated running. As long as we dressed for class, and did the warm-ups, we got A's. Never had to lift a single weight.

That is sad. A lot of girls take weight lifting. I know the cheerleaders are encouraged, especially the bases and the coaches don't mind.

I took weight lifting for the same reason as you, lol. OUr coach understood that, we just chatted with him most of the time. He was really cute.

 

[Gracie09]

I don't know, I didn't have one and there aren't any in my sons school. I don't think I would want a female spotting what some of these boys lift. Sure there are some that can lift that, but not many. And really, this isn't about male and female, I shouldn't have brought that up, if he has one fine. I have just never seen one in a weight room in high school.

If they were using correct technique and not showboating it shouldn't matter if the weightlifting coach was male or female, they wouldn't have to lift the weight off the student. Seriously there are female strength and conditioning coaches working with professional football players.

 

[mhsjax]

If they were using correct technique and not showboating it shouldn't matter if the weightlifting coach was male or female, they wouldn't have to lift the weight off the student. Seriously there are female strength and conditioning coaches working with professional football players.

That may be, I have no idea. Really doesn't matter, than isn't what this thread is about. And I am sure that the people who work with the NFL are more highly trained than coaches in the weight room at high school. We will just have to agree that this hasn't been my experience and leave it at that.

 

[mom2grace]

Or, to really mix things up, could the teacher have a crush on your son? I mean this in all seriousness.

 

[Coonhound]

Or, to really mix things up, could the teacher have a crush on your son? I mean this in all seriousness.

Trust me this is possible and happens. You need to keep a watchful eye on this teacher as well as educate your son on the ways molesters groom their victims, and make sure he understands that although it may be "flattering", he really needs to inform someone immediately if anything untoward happens.

 

[dolphindan1]

Or, to really mix things up, could the teacher have a crush on your son? I mean this in all seriousness.

thats exactly what my wife asked?

 

[NHdisneylover]

I also thought of the crush possibility--working in either direction.

Perhaps your son has a crush on the young, female teacher and that is why he is acting very differently in this one class than in others.

Or, perhaps she has a crush on him and this is a poor way of trying to distance herself from him and not show favoritism. Etc.

I think calling an setting up a meeting with the teacher is, as many have said, a very good place to start trying to get to the bottom of this.

Other scenarios that crossed my mind:

your son may (like some posters here) see having a woman teaching weight lifting as a problem and be pushing limits to prove a point there.

The teacher may have had some contact with him previously outside of school (given how close in age they really are) or even with an older sibling (does he have any) and built up a dislike for him then, and is (totally inappropriately) taking it out on him in the classroom.

Your son may be horsing around and showing off with the weights--thinking of himself as a great athlete who doesn't really need the class, etc and may be setting an example that is not safe or acceptable for other students.

The teacher may be intimated by your son's abilities and willingness to help other kids out and feel he is trying to show her up when he is genuinely trying to be nice and helpful.

Etc.

 

[PizzieDuster]

thats exactly what my wife asked?

That's what I asked myself. Weird. Felt kind of weird just thinking it.

Weird is that if your son is in football, baseball, etc., don't the players work out in the weight room with their coaches?

 

[NHdisneylover]

I assume this is the same kid you wrote about last year, who has a history of failing grades in both his Freshman and Sophomore years, including failing weight lifting and being marked down for excessive talking in class? At that time you felt your son was not so much to blame as the learning environment and moved him to a different school.

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=3021218

Having recalled that thread, I now am inclined to think your son is coming up with a story now as an excuse for the low grade you are going to see on his report card.

I have a feeling the zeros are legit--and either the teacher isn't really giving him a hard time at all, or he is pushing buttons to manufacture a situation he can complain about.
At the very least, I think you have to really consider that as a possibility and not jump to the teacher being the issue.

As a parent, it is really, really hard to believe that our kids are the issue--but this is a third year in a row your son has failing grades, you moved him to a new school and it is still occurring--I think you need to really consider that the only common denominator is your son and perhaps he is causing more trouble in school than you realize or want to believe.

Heck, it could be that he IS a bad influence and bringing that behavior you wanted to move him away from in the old school, into this new school with him.

 

[15isto2]

Or, to really mix things up, could the teacher have a crush on your son? I mean this in all seriousness.

Thats what I was thinking too

 

[dolphindan1]

I assume this is the same kid you wrote about last year, who has a history of failing grades in both his Freshman and Sophomore years, including failing weight lifting and being marked down for excessive talking in class? At that time you felt your son was not so much to blame as the learning environment and moved him to a different school.

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=3021218

Having recalled that thread, I now am inclined to think your son is coming up with a story now as an excuse for the low grade you are going to see on his report card.

I have a feeling the zeros are legit--and either the teacher isn't really giving him a hard time at all, or he is pushing buttons to manufacture a situation he can complain about.
At the very least, I think you have to really consider that as a possibility and not jump to the teacher being the issue.

As a parent, it is really, really hard to believe that our kids are the issue--but this is a third year in a row your son has failing grades, you moved him to a new school and it is still occurring--I think you need to really consider that the only common denominator is your son and perhaps he is causing more trouble in school than you realize or want to believe.

Heck, it could be that he IS a bad influence and bringing that behavior you wanted to move him away from in the old school, into this new school with him.

Wow you have a good memory...LOL

To respond...My son has been doing great at the new school....maintaining a 3.0 and has not been in trouble once...Like I previously pointed out he has great comments from all his other teachers...So thats why the confusion....changing schools was the best thing we ever did for him...He loves the new school and has been welcomed with open arms...He is also getting alot of contact from colleges for baseball...I really dont want this, a PE class that he probably doesnt even need, 4th year in PE, to be his downfall...

Also I have not jumped to any conclusion as to who is at fault...I was just wanting advice on how to handle it....nothing more...

Thanks

 

[sharbear]

Wow you have a good memory...LOL

To respond...My son has been doing great at the new school....maintaining a 3.0 and has not been in trouble once...Like I previously pointed out he has great comments from all his other teachers...So thats why the confusion....changing schools was the best thing we ever did for him...He loves the new school and has been welcomed with open arms...He is also getting alot of contact from colleges for baseball...I really dont want this, a PE class that he probably doesnt even need, 4th year in PE, to be his downfall...

Also I have not jumped to any conclusion as to who is at fault...I was just wanting advice on how to handle it....nothing more...

Thanks

Honestly I would find out and if doesn't need this class, drop it like a hot potato. Doesn't matter who is at fault, obviously there is conflict. Drop it and move on. No reason to tank a GPA on gym!

Right now as a junior in HS is to stay out of trouble and keep his grades up. If he's being recruited, junior year is super important. Actually junior year is the most important to keep the grades up and stay out of trouble for college so I wouldn't worry about resolving the conflict if the class can be dropped.

 

[luvsJack]

Why on earth does an athlete have to take any PE classes? Don't other schools give PE credit for the sport?

Our kids go to whatever sport they play for one block (class) each day. And that is their PE credit.

DD gets a PE credit for show choir and fine art credit for choir.


As for advise, go and meet with the teacher. If you think there is a crush--teacher to student--going on, maybe the meeting should include an administrator.

Younger ds always seemed to have problems getting along with first year teachers. They either were trying so hard to maintain control that every little thing was an issue or tried too hard to be a friend instead of a teacher. It wasn't all them though, he took advantage of their lack of experience. We just learned not to let him be put in the class of a first year teacher.

 

[mjkacmom]

Why on earth does an athlete have to take any PE classes? Don't other schools give PE credit for the sport?

Our kids go to whatever sport they play for one block (class) each day. And that is their PE credit.

DD gets a PE credit for show choir and fine art credit for choir.


As for advise, go and meet with the teacher. If you think there is a crush--teacher to student--going on, maybe the meeting should include an administrator.

Younger ds always seemed to have problems getting along with first year teachers. They either were trying so hard to maintain control that every little thing was an issue or tried too hard to be a friend instead of a teacher. It wasn't all them though, he took advantage of their lack of experience. We just learned not to let him be put in the class of a first year teacher.

Kids here have to have gym. The law does allow substitutions, but it's up to the individual districts, and ours doesn't allow substitutions (which is a shame, because some kids can't take as many courses that require labs, since they can only miss gym one day a week for labs).

: New Jersey mandates at least 150 minutes of health, safety
and physical education per week in all grades, 1-12, but does not require daily recess at the elementary
school level. The NJ Quality Single Accountability System is the state’s school district evaluation
process, which occurs every three years. It requires districts to have a health and physical education
curriculum aligned to the most recent version of New Jersey’s Core Standards and looks at instruction and
supervision across all subject areas including physical education.
High School Graduation Requirements: The state requires students to earn 3.75 physical education
credits per year (equal to 150 minutes per week) for each year of attendance. For students who complete a
traditional four-year high school program, this means attaining a minimum of 15 total credits—3.75
credits for each of the four years in high school.