Someone planning on gate-crashing our holiday (what would u do)

[nikkislaght]

I run into this often when people hear how often I go. I think it's the difference between people knowing how expensive it is. I'm a basic office worker. I go twice a year, sometimes more. So I often hear, "Isn't that expensive?!?" I tend to point out that it's not as bad as most people assume since I have military discounts, stay off-site, eat cheaply, and afford it by saving $100 per paycheck. But, until then, people tend to assume its much more expensive, and they tend to wonder how an office worker and a teacher in a small town could afford it. Maybe I'm just around people that speak their mind more, or open up to me more, because most people mention at some point how expensive it is.

we save through out the year. and now have military discounts too.. someone asked me why I go so often and doesn't it get boring , literally just after telling me they will be going to a lake side resort in the spring,, when I asked if it was there first time she said, No , this will be our 10th !!! er sorry I would rather do 10 Disney trips than 10 lake trips any day !!!!

 

[sherilaine]

I am wondering just what any of you would do if you no longer have any family members? I personally would love to have my parents or in laws join us. But they are all gone now and miss them terribly.

Wow, this is a guilt trip worth no one has any right to try to give.

 

[Sith]

Is it wrong to want to be with just hubby and the 2 kids?

Absolutely not. Some people enjoy vacations with large groups of family/ friends, while others see a vacation as an opportunity to spend quality time with just their spouse and children. There is nothing wrong with either preference. I personally fall into the latter group. Vacation time is limited, and everyone has the right to spend theirs exactly how they choose.

We are APs from the bay area. We usually make 3 trips per year consisting of two 3-day weekend trips in addition to our week long summer vacation. My dad has mentioned that he would like to come along on one of our trips. Well, I would love to take my dad to Disneyland, but I don't want anybody encroaching on one of our planned family vacations.

So, I decided to plan an extra trip just for my dad. Next weekend my 13yo son and I are taking my dad to Disneyland for 3 days. Just the three of us. I think it's been nearly 30 years since he has been there. We go to Disneyland a lot, but I am really looking forward to this trip. I think my dad is really going to have a good time.

I know OP doesn't live close enough to make a special trip just for FIL. Just thought I'd share, since I had a similar situation of a family member trying to tag along on our vacation.

 

[theluckyrabbit]

I am wondering just what any of you would do if you no longer have any family members? I personally would love to have my parents or in laws join us. But they are all gone now and miss them terribly.

Agree with the other posters who say there is absolutely nothing wrong with having healthy boundaries within families. And there is no place for guilt trips here. But this point can be flipped around, too. What would the OP do if she no longer had her own family -- her husband and her children -- and she had never taken this special, private vacation with them, but had let other people trample over what should have been private time?? One should think twice before pointing fingers and before pushing false guilt on others. Just saying...

 

[momof2n2]

Sorry We are kind of the more the merrier and really enjoy having family along for Disneyland (but not for all vacations...some we just want it to be us so we can decide what we do every day without anyone else complaining). Our next trip we have FIL and MIL coming, and BIL and SIL and nephew. It's becoming a tradition and it's so nice to have extra help with our kids, too. But we have a relationship where we like to do most things together.

Cherish the moments with family as it may be their last, both DH and I no longer have our parents to enjoy fun times with. Parents sacrifice a lot for their children and as grandparents they now have opportunity to spend time with their grandchildren. Setup times to do things together and set up times of when to meet up. We had the opportunity to have both widowed moms live with with us so my children could see how we treated and cherished them so as they become parents they will have our examples to follow. We took both moms to Disneyland at various times and still talk about those memories fondly. It was work as we wheeled the wheel chairs and dealt with physical limitations. But it was worth it to ensure they felt valued and not a burden

I understand the OP's position, but I am also one of those "More the merrier". I will post my trips and if people say "Hey, we were thinking of going too", they are welcome. I do do the meet up for this and that, and then everyone is on their own for other things. Heck, we even have my EX along every now and again as he likes to spend time with the kids and grandkids.

Another more-the-merrier here.
I’d encourage grandpa to come and make memories along the way. If you really can’t make it work, I hope your husband handles it quickly and thoughtfully. No vacation is worth family tension.

 

[SeansMom]

The more the merrier! Plus, extra hands for the Little’s so you could have one night free. I wish I’d done far more with my parents when they were alive!

 

[CottonCandy22]

I am not close to my FIL that's why this is awkward. And NO to babysitting. Not happening. I don't go on holiday to offload my children on other people

 

[HuskyGal]

I am not close to my FIL that's why this is awkward. And NO to babysitting. Not happening. I don't go on holiday to offload my children on other people

It’s going to be worse than awkward if you let him manipulate his way in. Good on you for having boundaries and not letting him ruin your family vacation. I like the throw him a bone option of a weekend visit/trip.

 

[starshine514]

It really depends on your relationship. My parents come with us on the majority of our trips. We are very close and enjoy the time together. We also visit my husband's father and stepmother annually and occasionally embark on extra vacations (not DL yet, but we have done WDW together and are planning it again in a couple years) with them. His mother, however, is a different story. We vacationed with her once before we had kids and vowed never again. (She hasn't tried it but occasionally mentions it in passing.) It sounds like the OP is in the same situation.

Do you think he has committed your dates to memory? Could you just go back in and delete you FB post so that he won't be able to find the details again if he tries?

Overall, remember that he has every right to come, but not necessarily with you. (This is what I would do in the case of my MIL.) He needs to arrange for his own travel, hotel, tickets, etc. I wouldn't be snarky or anything, but when asked I would just tell him which website to use for tickets, some hotel options, etc. Make it clear that he needs to make his own arrangements, you aren't doing it and he sure isn't staying in the room with your family. Once you're there, plan some together time, but don't let it encroach on your regular plans. Make rope drop as usual, go about your regular touring, and then try to meet up with him for lunch or something. Don't put too much effort into it. You might be surprised how much work it actually is to coordinate and get together with someone at Disneyland.