Someone just knocked on the door and I am livid!!!!

[GeekChic]

thank you tnkrbell and crazymomof4 for your responses.

to be truthful, i almost didn't post at all in this thread, frankly my upbringing as a jw is not something i like to think about. but seeing people talking of dogs and guns (even if jokingly, which i realize now they were) i decided to go ahead and give my perspective as not only someone who was once involved in the ministry being discussed here but also as someone who no longer opens my door when JW's or any religious group comes calling. a unique perspective i think, because i have experienced and understand both sides of the issue.

and i would just hate to see anyone get bit by a dog just cause someone was mad when there are other options.

I guess how kids end up viewing it as adults depends on how parents handle it. We try to make each time like a family outing. Most of the time we are with other kids who are their friends. There is time for conversation between doors and often we take a break at a local donut shop.

crazymom, i wanted to respond to your post to specify that my parents 'handled' it very well and did everything 'right'. the ministry was never an ordeal for us, they (unlike other less reasonable parents of friends of mine) did not make us go in the dead of winter or worst heat of summer: and they were very mindful of our safety as best they could be.

i also worked in car groups with my peers, and it is not my parent's 'fault' that i am no longer in 'the truth'. it's a choice i made as a fully grown adult because i realized that i wouldn't have chosen the religion if i had been introduced to it as an adult.

it's a choice that unfortunately has cost me most of my family; but they know that my door is always open to them should they choose to embrace me once again. i am a law abiding citizen, married to a wonderful man, a good mother, i'm boring by anyone's standards lol. but unfortunately since i don't share their faith, they don't share my life. it is their choice, and i can only hope that in time maybe their minds and hearts will open just a tiny bit. they are missing out on seeing my daughter grow up, time that cannot be regained later.

i know that they are just doing what they feel is 'right' so i can't be angry at them. i was what you would call a 'fourth generation' jw and so i understand how it all works.

i honestly do respect your right to your faith, (just as i would if you were any other religion) and as i respect my family's right to believe it even if i don't; they just can't accept that i don't, which is very sad.

What i learned at the end of it all is that even more than i respect other people's right to their religious beliefs, i also respect the right of myself and others like me not to be religious at all. and going along with the original subject of this post, i understand people who just want to spend a saturday morning quietly and undisturbed.

but no one needs to send out the hounds, really. they can just be added to the do not call list and that's the end of it (or should be) i wonder why people get so upset if magazines are left in their door? i mean, you can just not read it, right? i don't threaten to let loose the hounds on the guy who leaves pizza place fliers in my door.

whether it's mormons, jw's, or the fuller brush man, there is no need for risking hurting anyone physically.

on another note: i wanted to say that i also agree completely with those who said it's not safe to open the door to anyone you're not expecting. there are people who claim to be everything from ministers to gas company workers pulling off home invasions this way; and i do not, and will not, open my door to anyone who i don't know and am not expecting. it's just not worth it.

sorry to ramble, be safe everyone!

respectfully,

geek

 

[Mskanga]

Originally posted by battricia
Honestly, MsKanga, I don't care if you opened the door or not.
I said, that by NOT answering the door, you NEVER SAID NO. The first thing you said to them was, where's your permit, I'm calling the police and I have a large dog.
tricia.

OK maybe you will understand this now...I have two signs on a post by my driveway, one says PRIVATE PROPERTY, the other one says NO TRESPASSING. No trespassing means you are not allowed to come on to my private property unless I allow you to or you are police , EMS or the fire department coming for an emergency , all others stay off. If you do not respect my privacy and my wish , do not expect me to respect you, what you give is what you get.

These people are lucky you didnt have a dog in the back yard!! I have a HUGE dog that would of probably attacked these people!!

Yes I did have a dog outside, a german sheppard going absolutely crazy barking because strangers were on the property, that was my point, if anything happened they would probably try to make me liable for it.

 

[mrsltg]

mskanga, I'm completely with you. I stopped reading at the end of page 2 of this thread, but feel that it's necessary to add some things...

1. If I don't know you, and you walk on my lawn, you are initiating a familiarity with my family that you do not have. I have a drive and walkway that lead to my front door. This is where I take visitors. Do not step on the grass - it is a boundary.

2. No matter how you are dressed, if you approach a strangers back door for anything other than an emergency, that homeowner should be apprehensive. In fact, they should get defensive. "Why are you at my back door and not clearly visible to passers-by on the street" should be your first thought.

3. All kidding aside when it comes to guns... if you approach my back door and I don't know you, you won't have a gun pointed at you (you should NEVER point a weapon at someone unless you plan to shoot them), but it will be there or close enough by that if you don't listen to the demand to exit my property things will escalate quickly. I will not, nor will my family, be attacked in my own home.

4. What if the OP had her children playing in the backyard? Would this be dismissed so quickly then, too?

5. DOGS... I have a pit bull. #3 won't really matter if you can't speak because your throat is in my dog's mouth because she is protecting her pack.

All in all it's just a stupid situation. The people had no right to come to a back door. Obviously if you don't answer the front door you are not interested. There is a very real possibility that these people were there to do more than sell religion.

Erin

 

[mrsltg]

BTW... just asked DH the cop about the situation...

You can be arrested for doing what these people did. The police could assume that by going to the back door they were attempting to hide themselves for nefarious purposes. Not to mention, "yeah, because no one in a suit ever committed a crime ". Hmmmm.... guess you were right mskanga - good judgement call.

Erin

 

[GeekChic]

they should have respected your signs. if it had been me, i would have.

i understand wanting your privacy respected but is it really such a life and death matter? sheesh. i think that your animosity toward the religion itself is making you react more strongly than you would had it been mormons at the door, that's the impression i get from your posts, anyway.

if there were children in the yard, (was there a fence btw?) then there is no reason for anyone to ever physically approach them for any reason. period.

when i was a jw and there were children between the house and the public sidewalk with no adult present i would just ask them (from the street) if the parents were home. most times the kids went in, and then poked head back out to say parents weren't interested and i left. I did not approach children.

i understand protecting yourself, if someone is trying to get into your house then the dog issue changes obviously.

i guess i just don't understand why people have to be so mean

if any of you had ever tried even just taking a pettition door to door or anything else, you would know that this is not an easy thing and most of the JW's i knew only do/did it because they believe, honestly, with all their hearts that not only your salvation is at stake but theirs as well; that it is their Christian duty to go forth and share the 'good news'. they believe that if they don't, that not only they but even their children could miss out on life in paradise. they are not out there because they have nothing else to do. they think they're doing the right thing.

i don't believe what they do anymore, and i don't expect anyone to listen if they're not interested but i don't think there has to be so much anger over it

just live and let live.

if they go past a no trespassing sign...then they are wrong and you can call the cops. but unless someone is trying to get in the door...i'd restrain the dog. but tha'ts just me.

geek

 

[bumcat]

they should have respected your signs. if it had been me, i would have.

BUT IT WASN'T YOU AND THEY DIDN'T.


i understand wanting your privacy respected but is it really such a life and death matter? sheesh.

OBVIOUSLY YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE PRIVACY ISSUE.

i think that your animosity toward the religion itself is making you react more strongly than you would had it been mormons at the door, that's the impression i get from your posts, anyway.

I GOT THE IMPRESSIONS SHE WAS IRRITATED AFTER THEY WENT IN THE BACKYARD. SHE TOLD THEM TO GET OFF HER PROPERTY AFTER THEY WENT IN THE BACKYARD. SHE WAS NICE ENOUGH NOT TO MENTION WHAT RELIGIOUS GROUP THEY WERE.


if there were children in the yard, (was there a fence btw?) then there is no reason for anyone to ever physically approach them for any reason. period.

WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT M AKE IF SHE HAS A FENCE? IT'S HER PROPERTY THEY ARE IN THE BACK SIGNS ARE POSTED. THEY ARE IN THE WRONG 100% AND PERSONALLY I WOULDN'T GIVE A CRAP WHO OR WHAT GROUP CAME IN MY BACKYARD, THEY WOULD BE THREATENED IN THE SAME WAY ESPECIALLY SINCE I HAVE KIDS AND KIDS HAVE BEEN ABDUCTED FROM THE BACKYARD.

when i was a jw and there were children between the house and the public sidewalk with no adult present i would just ask them (from the street) if the parents were home. most times the kids went in, and then poked head back out to say parents weren't interested and i left. I did not approach children.

READ WHAT YOU WROTE, YOU DID APPROACH THE KIDS BY CONVERSATION AND ASKED THEM TO GET THEIR PARENTS.

i understand protecting yourself, if someone is trying to get into your house then the dog issue changes obviously.

WELL THAT MAKES A LOT OF SENSE, WAIT UNTIL SOMEONE ACTUALLY STARTS BREAKING IN AND THEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. NO THANKS, I'LL CALL THE COPS WHILE THEY ARE STILL IN MY BACKYARD.

i guess i just don't understand why people have to be so mean

MEAN? HOW? FOR TELLING THEM TO LEAVE HER BACKYARD AND TELLING THEM THEY WOULD BE RESPONSIBLE IF SOMETHING HAPPENS. FOR THREATENING TO CALL THE COP? IT'S YOU'RE RIGHT AS A HOME OWNER.

if any of you had ever tried even just taking a pettition door to door or anything else, you would know that this is not an easy thing and most of the JW's i knew only do/did it because they believe, honestly, with all their hearts that not only your salvation is at stake but theirs as well; that it is their Christian duty to go forth and share the 'good news'. they believe that if they don't, that not only they but even their children could miss out on life in paradise. they are not out there because they have nothing else to do. they think they're doing the right thing.

I DO UNDERSTAND THIS BUT AT THE SAME TIME YOU HAVE TO RESPECT FOLKS WHEN THEY DO NOT WANT TO OPEN THEIR FRONT DOOR. I DO BELIEVE THEY THINK THEY ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING.

i don't believe what they do anymore, and i don't expect anyone to listen if they're not interested but i don't think there has to be so much anger over it

SHE WAS ANGRY BECAUSE THEY WENT IN THE BACKYARD. TOO MANY CRAZY AND HORRIBLE THINGS HAPPEN THESE DAYS. YOU CAN'T ASSUME JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE IN SUITS OR UNIFORMS THAT THEY ARE WHO THEY SAY THEY ARE. I THINK FEAR COMES INTO PLAY FIRST AND THEN ANGER.

just live and let live.



if they go past a no trespassing sign...then they are wrong and you can call the cops. but unless someone is trying to get in the door...i'd restrain the dog. but tha'ts just me.

YES THAT'S JUST YOU BUT THAT'S NOT HER. EVERYONE REACTS DIFFERENTLY TO EACH SITUATION. AS A MOTHER I WOULD HAVE REACTED THE SAME ESPECIALLY IF MY HUSBAND IS NOT HOME.

I ONCE JOINED A CHURCH. I FILLED OUT THE CARD, IT SAID DO YOU WANT SOMEONE TO VISIT YOU AT HOME OR CALL, I SAID NO TO BOTH. GUESS WHAT? THEY CAME TO MY DOOR. IT WAS WINTER AND PRETTY CHILLY OUT. THEY WANTED IN TO TALK TO ME. IT WAS A WEEK NIGHT, THEY DIDN'T CALL, IT WAS 3 OF THEM. THEY ASKED IF THEY COULD COME IN TO TALK TO ME. I SAID NO. I JUST GOT HOME FROM WORK AND I HAD TO GET DINNER GOING.
SO I GUESS I'M REALLY MEAN BECAUSE I TURNED AWAY MY OWN RELIGIOUS GROUP WHICH WAS BAPTIST AND THEY DON'T TAKE NO VERY EASY EITHER, LOL.

 

[GeekChic]

geez, what do you want from me? you're right, i wasn't the one there so why are you yelling at me?

i didn't think that asking a question of a childfrom the street way far away was approaching them. i was also a teenager myself so barely more than a kid myself.

i just wanted to try to help people understand why they do it. to maybe promote a little tolerance, but i'm giving up cause it's obviously not going to change any minds here. all i can say is if yo'ure a jw and you take your kid in service beware cause there are a lot of people ready to let dogs loose on you and maybe shoot at you too.

i hope my child never has the misfortune of being taken to one of your doors by her dad (which i have no control over).

i'm wondering if i should go back and delete my posts they don't seem to have done any good, which was what i'd hoped for.

see ya'll elsewhere on the boards.

 

[bumcat]

Sorry if you think the large caps was yelling, it's not. I just wanted to separate your sentences from mine.
I did say I do understand they believe they are doing the right thing.
We're not going to agree on this but that's okay. That's what makes the world more interesting. All the differences.
Please don't delete your post just because some of us don't agree. You have a right to your opinion and so does the OP.
It would be a boring life if we all agreed all the time.

 

[battricia]

Don't worry geek chic, it's obviously not you they are mad at. Sometimes people just can't get a grip and let things go, even though it was honestly not that big of a deal. Maybe they didn't see the sign, and it was an honest mistake. Maybe they thought no one could hear them from the front door so they went to the back. Maybe they just wanted to have a chat. Obviously some people just can't be nice enough to say no thank you nicely. Funny how the people who usually complain about solicitations are also the people who don't seem to be very nice to the people doing the soliciting.

tricia.

 

[ginna74]

Don't erase them.... you don't advocate violence. That is very honorable. I guess I would have been mad too had I had a sign up and all (and by the way I can honestly say I haven't always been kind to them). BUT I would NEVER EVER threaten anyones life. I do have kids and that is not something I want to teach them, violence as an answer to an annoying problem. It will happen to us again I am sure and I will have to say no thanks more then once. But I will not sick an animal on them or even call the cops???? but that is just me.... I have nevere heard about permits either?? maybe that is just around here.

anyways don't be ashamed to have a different point of view. I personally HATE IT when they come to my door but as long as they are not trying to hurt me or my family I will never threaten violence against them or anyone. Heck if I was in their situation and someone sicked their dog on me I think I would well... return the favor and become violent myself... ok I wouldn't as I said the kid thing lol...but someone might and you just might regret it. not worth it over a few people preaching their religion

 

[ZachnElli]

Originally posted by GeekChic
[Band i would just hate to see anyone get bit by a dog just cause someone was mad when there are other options.



[/B]

Ok, here's the problem. She has a dog on her own property, in the backyard. She didn't need to sick the dog. They took that risk all by themselves walking into that backyard. Anyone who walks onto anyone else's property takes the risk that they have a dog that might bite (protecting it's territory and family). Ask any mailman that still walks his/her route! I took it as she warned them that she has a large dog, too late to restrain a dog already back there, closer to them than she is to the dog. I know a little about restraining a dog (I have 3), it is difficult to do when the property has already been trespassed and she is far from the dog. My in-laws have a German Shepard, and the first thing I do when I enter their yard or open their door is greet the dog whether he is there or not. He'll hear me say his name and know I am friend, not foe or stranger!

 

[Goobergal99]

I feel it necessary to respond here as well, I myself am not a religious person, I like to be referred to as a "realist"because "atheist" just sounds so negative. I remember as a kid hanging at the mall, my friends and I would always be solicited by the so called "reborn christians" I was 15 when Marilyn Manson first made his debut and alot of us dressed in the whole "gothic" look. It was very typical teenage rebellious behavior.

So anyway, I remember my best friend Chaz, who was a few years older then most of us, used to really put them in their place when they started their cult like preaching. He was well spoken (In fact he's an english teacher now) and just knew how to stump them. One day it got really out of hand and one of them actually grabbed me (very roughly) and insisted that I see the light of Jesus Christ. I was very upset and my Now DF ended up punching his lights out. Security even asked me if I wanted to prosecute since they had already been asked to leave.

My point is that they can be incredibly pushy and even dangerous at times. I don't trust ANYONE who believes abything to devoutly. Especially the Jahova's Witnesses, I personally witnessed how destructive their beliefs were in the hospital when a young man needed a blood transfusion or he would die and his parents would not allow the transfusion because it was " not the lords plan for him" Being a mother myself, I can easily say this "Sc**w the lord, I'm saving my daughters life, because if I'm wrong and there is a god, I'm not ready for her to meet him!"

Thats my 2 cents!

 

[catsrule]

Answer the door in your underwear.

 

[Deafmedic]

When I was in my residency, my then fiance and I moved into a one bedroom apartment. It wasn't gated so we had to deal with a lot of salespersons. One night our next door neighbors were pretty vocal with their lovemaking so she decided to tape it so they can hear how loud they were(she was best friends with her). One night, we got a magazine salesperson at our door. She played the tape loudly thru the door. We watched him leave while we were doubled over with laughter.
Now, we live in a gated community consisting of 26 homes. Before the homes were built, we had several "community" meetings to vote on rules regarding properties. One of the things put up to vote was whether to have a card controlled access or allow fences to be built around the properties. The only fences allowed are those which surround pools. Our neighbor to the right is a State Trooper. To our left, a stay-at-home-dad whose wife is a Pediatrician. We're a pretty tight community. We have 2 german shepherds named Fred and Wesley who are retired from the local police force(My brother is a K-9 officer). When our door bell rings, Fred will go stand by the door while Wesley will go sit with the twins. I don't think I've seen a salesperson in close to 4 years since we've moved here.

 

[totalia]

I'm no longer polite.

I have answered the door to them to be polite and told them I wasn't interested because I'm Catholic (actually I'm Pagan but I figured they would go away easier if I told them I was Christian). The response was "Well maybe you haven't found the right religion yet." What?? But I just told you dimwits that I HAD a religion and its Christian. I don't need to find another one obviously.

Then I was accosted on the street by the downtown bus as soon as I got off. They were trying to peddle their fliars and whatnot. I told them I'm a witch and to go away. That I already have a religion. Apparently they decided they needed to save my soul from the devil because they started following me down the street praying and trying to hand me even more pamphlets. They even started to try to box me in. I escaped by going into a store and they were gone when I came back out (should have grabbed the policeman down the street instead and had them arrested).

This is NOT the only time something like that has happened near the bus stop and it doesn't matter what answer you give them or even if you just ignore them. They bloody well follow you.

I've tried being rude. I've tried being nice. I actually had one of them tell me to just call their church to put me on the "don't visit" list. Well first of all that doesn't work. Second why should I have to do their job? I tell them to go away and not come back, they should keep a log of that in their little black books they all seem to carry around to not bloody well come back. It's not that hard and it shouldn't be up to me to stop their harassment.

I love my fiance's way of handling it though.

He was once cutting steak in the kitchen for dinner. Of course, he was all bloody and holding a bloody knife when he answered the door. He invited them in to help him sacrifice a goat to the almighty evil one (btw, this was in New Orleans where Voodoo is extremely common. He really could have been sacrificing a goat which is why it scared them so much). It was funny. They practically tripped over themselves to run away.

Another time he answered the door and gave them this real creepy, cold stare for almost a minute after they finished talking. Then he said something along the lines of inviting them in to talk about the dark lord and the benefits he could bring them if only they saw the truth. They kept trying to go on and he invited them in to share a ritualistic blood drinking. roflmao. They ran.

Another time when they simply refused to desist (my fiance is a wonderful debate artist. He can convince you the sky is actually green if he really tries), he had them doubting themselves in only a few minutes.

Me, I will just be bloody well rude to them.

I don't care what someone's religion says. I don't care if they think they are trying to save my soul. Stay off my property and away from me and my family.

If I wanted to know about your religion, I'd ask you. I don't need you bugging me at home or on the street.

 

[JPN4265]

When they knocked on the front door and you didn't answer, they should have taken that as a sign that you were not home or did not want to be bothered. When they moved to the back door they were trespassing. Time to call the police or let the dogs out!

 

[my3kids]

Coming to the back door was wrong. I generally am friendly, but tell them I am involved in my own church but wish them a nice day. All this takes place at my front door. If they came around to the back after not getting an answer at the front door, I'd be a little freaked out. I wouldn't have them attacked by my dog....well okay, gerbil, but I'd probably tell them that front doors are for company.

 

[sweet angel]

I don't understand why this thread is still going on. Can't a person vent without getting jumped on?

 

[RitaZ.]

Originally posted by sweet angel
Can't a person vent without getting jumped on?

Obviously, not on the DIS.

 

[auntpolly]

wow who would have known this thread would have gone on so long!

I was talking about this with some friends last night and they brought up a good point about our town, anyway. We take door to door people of any kind pretty seriously and if they are doing anything wrong they can get in trouble! They said they would call the police non-emergency line and report that the person had trespassed and that you had been uncomfortable with them on your deck.

If you can, get your neighbors to call if similar things happened to them. If the group does it again, call again. Around here, it would have an affect, I'm sure of it.