Some venting space please....long UPDATE Pg. 2

[TINKTWINS]

DH is at DS's school right now, venting like crazy im sure. Im stuck home with little ones, not knowing how things are going

Ill try to make this story short.

Our kids go to a small catholic school in a suburb of Boston. We dont live in a city where the public school would be an option.
My oldest son, who is now a Jr. in High School graduated from this school already. We currently have 2 enrolled. Weve been VERY active parents in both the school and the parish for many years, ive always been a lunch mother for all 3 of my boys, we run the food table at the bazzar, which is this weekend, I work the bingos at the school, I ran the food pantry in the church for a while.

Anyhow, DS 13 who is in the 8th grade, and has honor roll grades, is being threatend by another student. Now Im not whinnig about soemone just bullying my kids because they dont like him. Ths boy has been threatening him since the beggining of the school year. I have been to the school I have talked to the kids involved. This boy had been caught with a knife in the school yard last year. Apparently, he has enlisted some kid who does not go to our school and apparently does not even go to school, to show up in the AM to wait for DS. DS 13 usually walks to school and goes a bit earlier than DS 11. When DH dropped off DS11 this am, DS 13 flagged him down because this other kid was in the school yard this morning waiting for him!!

DH called me like a lunatic, wanting to know who the heck was in charge at the school because the principal has been out sick since last year and the asst. principal did not want to give up her class so she is teaching and not in the office, the only one in there is the secretary and sometimes a mother. The pastor is in Italy for 2 weeks. Talk about feeling helpless!! Im ready to pull my kids out today!!!

I called my friend this morn to tell her what was going on. She saw DH's truck at the school and asked the other priest to please go in to talk to him.

The poblem is these are old nuns who have no clue how much times have changed and the city we live in has gangs, with young kids. This is a serious matter. You cant just tell the boys to be friends. It doesnt work like that.

Well obviously DH isnt answering his phone and im on pins and needles and you on the DIS are the only ones here with me besides my 2yo twins

Thanks for listening!!

 

[Serena]

I would call the police. If the school can't handle the situation, someone needs to.

I would be frantic wanting to be there and know what was going on. And I do hope it gets settled without any problems.

{{{hugs}}}

Hang in there

 

[CrazyBoutDisney]

Tinktwins, I'm with Serena that you should call the police. It is obvious the school isn't going to help you. Prayers for you and your family. I've been through something similar and the school was no help at all. Hope all settles down soon. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}
Beth

 

[doxdogy]

I would definitely call the police. You may also want to try calling the District Attorney in your town. Find out what is the definition of assault. You may be able to have the kid charged with assault.

 

[Baboo]

{{{HUGS}}}

 

[p-nut]

I agree with everyone . Let us know what happens. My thoughts are with you.

 

[nativetxn]

Oh my goodness. I would call the police but I would worry that might backfire too. What a difficult situation. I sure hope your son stays safe.

Keep us posted? {{{HUGS}}} sweetie

 

[TINKTWINS]

DH really didnt get anywhere with the school.

The secretary told him today wasnt a good day to talk!!!
How do you say that when a kid needs you!!!

There was a cop there because today is voting at our school so DH talked to him.
He basically said we could file a report but nothing really comes of it.

I have to think this thing through. Im not happy with the school at all. And calling the Archdiosces will probably get me nowhere,this is nothing compared to the other problems the church has. But this school is being run with no involvment from the pastor and no principal. I dont want to deal with a secratery.

 

[annemariec]

I think it's key that the kid was caught with a knife on school grounds.

What happened to him? Did he get suspended? Was he asked why he brought a knife to school in the first place? Is he being watched more closely? Checked frequently for repeat offenses of weapon toting and bullying?

I'd be mad as a hornet. I'd think about calling the parents of this child and have a meeting with the children present (and a non-involved party). That may be the only way to get to the bottom of this. Ask what's going on from each child. Let it be known that you will take action/press charges if the tormentor continues.

The torment and threats create a hostile environment and your child should not have to put up with it. The school is responsible for protecting your child. If they fail to do it, there are other avenues to persue. I would talk to a lawyer/police chief as suggested earlier.

I'm sorry your child is going through this. Keep us posted.

Annemarie

 

[minniecarousel]

Isn't there a governing body at the Archdisocese level that deals with the schools? It seems that someone should be able to counsel the school on how to deal with these things. At public shcools around here, if you take a weapon to school, it's an automatic expulsion! (not sure if the Catholic schools have this policy) & it seems to me that a kid who is not enrolled in the school should not be allowed on property.
You really do have a problem - not sure what you should do- good luck!

 

[annemariec]

Oh, I meant to add a call to the school from your lawyer about the issue could help the matter get resolved. I'm not one for using lawyers at the drop of a hat, but this is a pretty scary scenario.

I stated earlier the school is responsible for protecting your child. If they fail to do it, they should be held accountable --- before something happens.

Annemarie

 

[Pin Wizard]

Why isn't a teacher there in the morning when they arrive? At DS's school, a teacher is there at 7 a.m. to stay with the kids. The gates don't open until she's there. We have another catholic school in town that doesn't have gates. These days I think you NEED them! I would have to file a report with the police so it's on record even if nothing good comes of it. File a report each time.

 

[cinlee3]

Why is the boy who was caught with the knife on school property still allowed to attend this school? He should have been expelled and not allowed to return. This is a private school for goodness sake. He is the one who should be taken out of the school, not your child.

I would not stop if someone was threatening my child. I wish you the best in dealing with this difficult situation.

 

[PhotobearSam]

Call the State attourney's office and tell the Archdiosces this when you call them.

There needs to be someone in charge and they have to protect the child. Make a formal complaint and file a report. The sqeeky wheel thing usually works. This is too important.

This could escalate. I wish you all the luck and support in the world.

Hugs and let us know what happens.

 

[TINKTWINS]

I cannot honestly tell you why this kid is still in the school. 3 out of the 4 teachers he has has been working towards getting him out. The knife incedents were last year and I just do not understand why he was allowed to stay.

The problem lies with the fact that it is a small private school, run by people who have been there FOREVER. The mother superior has been undergoing chemotherapy. The asst principal who is also an elderly nun, did not want to give up her class to sit in the office. There fore, the only person left is the secretary. This is what makes me most angry. Someone has to be accountable. Im pretty sure if the principal was there things would be handled differently, however they are so old school, I think they think this will just go away if you have the teachers speak to them. It wont, the parents have already been brought into the school once his year.

I do not want to take my son out of this school and away from his friends during his last year. He has earned the right to graduate from there.
I am giving serious thought to not sending my 11yo ds there next year.

I am so frustrated and angry that there isnt an immediate resolution to this.

Private schools need the help of caring parents to keep the schools running. I have always been one of those comitted parents. We are always one of the first people to help out when needed, but this is exacltly what makes parents transfer their kids out.

Its very sad, ive had kids in that school for almost 12 years.

 

[holycow]

This is making me so sad! I'm just hoping you were able to take care of the situation.

HC

 

[annemariec]

TinkTwins, what does the student handbook state for matters such as this?? They should have some kind of standing policy for this type of issue (even if it's "old school").

The secretary's response,"It's not a good time.", to your DH is unacceptable too. That just wouldn't cut it. It's so indifferent to an urgent situation. To that I would have had to say, "Well, it's always a good time to receive the tuition check, isn't it?"

Someone has to be in charge. Good luck with this.
Annemarie

 

[doxdogy]

Check to see if the Archdiocese has a web page and from there see if you can find any information regarding the schools. Our Diocese has a link that leads you to the schools and information regarding them. It also has information regarding the superindent of the schools. If you do have one, I would call and talk to them.

 

[TINKTWINS]

OK Well last week was a very long week!

An update and thanks to all of you for listening!

The Police were involved. DH brought DS in to file a report. DH followed all the correct steps according to them. He spoke to the school, the teachers, he even had a meeting at the school with one of the boys fathers. The meeting was useless, so he filed the complaint. The police went to the school and spoke with the boys. The following morning both boys were expelled!!!

Apparently niether were remorseful, and one admitted that yes they were planning on going after my son. This admission made my physically sick to my stomach. Its been rough.

We are not done yet either. We were given the name and number of the contact person for the schools and DH is calling her this morning. We are also following through with the criminal aspect as well.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Well I am so happy to hear that things are moving forward for you. I am shaking my head at the lengths you had to go to to get this resolved. I just don't "get" why the school failed you.
{{{HUGS}}} and I hope your son is doing better.