So you have company and the unthinkable happens...(Plop Plop Fizz Fizz.. SUCCESS!!!)

[tevagirl]

You get home and you just have to dump your stuff and run....(or should that be reversed???)

God forbid anyone should be in your way. I've flatten quite a few people on the way through.

I've been driving home before and DH is in the car. He'll say he suddenly has to go really bad. He gets to the point where he says "Don't talk, just drive" and even turns off the radio. Like any distraction makes it worse. I have to hold back my laughs or that will just tick him off.

Has anyone else ever had this issue?

OMG yes! I'm always telling who ever is with me.."Don't talk! Don' talk!!" the whole time I'm deep breathing.

I GOT A POOP TAG!!!!!

Perfect!

 

[wardfamily1]

I GOT A POOP TAG!!!!!

THANK YOU TAG FAIRY!

 

[wardfamily1]

Yeah, me too, Charade. I got a turd tag

 

[manning]

Whats with all the turd phobia around here? A turd is a turd is a turd.

If you are a country boy and play in the cow pasture every base is turd base. try sliding into one of those.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

You said poop....

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I've been driving home before and DH is in the car. He'll say he suddenly has to go really bad. He gets to the point where he says "Don't talk, just drive" and even turns off the radio. Like any distraction makes it worse. I have to hold back my laughs or that will just tick him off.

Has anyone else ever had this issue?

Ooooohhhhhh..........so he's got a turtle head poking out does he?!

 

[Caropooh]

That reminds me of something that happened a long time ago. A friend of mine had a dog that was completely out of control, barking all the time, biting, just really uncontrollable so she decided to take the dog back to the shelter that he came from.

She asked me to go along with her. So we get the dog in the car (station wagon) and off we go to the shelter. The dog is literally bouncing off the walls of the car for the whole duration of the drive. We get to the shelter and her and I go in, leaving the dog in the car, to sign the papers, etc.

We go out to get the dog and find that he had pooped in the car. Now, the dog happened to have had corn for dinner the night before. So there was corn imbedded poop from one end of that car to the other. It was dripping off the roof, on the front windshield, all over the dashboard, on the steering wheel, on the seats. We had to drive home with all the windows open and the air conditioning on full blast.

She still owes me for that one.

That is very high on my "Grossest Things I've Ever Heard" list! EWWW!

I so would never poop in someone elses bathroom. I will only poop at home.TMI for all of you but you have it now.

What exactly do you do when you are gone overnight?

Maybe she's a scheduled person

I know there are people who could set their clock....

a certain male member of my household normally goes first thing when he gets home from places.

I just never have to.

Oh no

That must be it

I just don't get it.

 

[mirthmaiden]

Or maybe a new Dr. Suess classic....

One poop two poop
Hard poop goo poop

Oh the Places You'll Go

Would you, could you on a train?
Would you, could you on a plane?
Would you, could you in the rain?
If you do, don't leave a stain.

That reminds me of something that happened a long time ago. A friend of mine had a dog that was completely out of control, barking all the time, biting, just really uncontrollable so she decided to take the dog back to the shelter that he came from.

She asked me to go along with her. So we get the dog in the car (station wagon) and off we go to the shelter. The dog is literally bouncing off the walls of the car for the whole duration of the drive. We get to the shelter and her and I go in, leaving the dog in the car, to sign the papers, etc.

We go out to get the dog and find that he had pooped in the car. Now, the dog happened to have had corn for dinner the night before. So there was corn imbedded poop from one end of that car to the other. It was dripping off the roof, on the front windshield, all over the dashboard, on the steering wheel, on the seats. We had to drive home with all the windows open and the air conditioning on full blast.

She still owes me for that one.

omg. O.M.G.

Im a in & out kinda guy (bathroom related only)!

You owe me for leaving this one untouched.

I GOT A POOP TAG!!!!!

Well deserved. A testament that will last forever.

 

[TinkerbellMama]

I have a related story to tell. Dh's grandmother passed away last year, and MIL inherited her house. It's vacant, but someone checks on it daily. I was visiting MIL a few months ago and offered to run over and check the house. I wasn't going to go inside, but I *really had to "go" so I let myself in with the key. Well, when I went to flush, nothing happened! I was really concerned that the pipes had frozen. I tried going to the sink to get a bucket of water to flush with, but nothing came out! OMG, frozen pipes! I was just dreading calling MIL to tell her about that...much less the present I'd left in the toilet! So, I did call her, told her there was no water in the house and I couldn't flush, and she started to freak out for a second...until she remembered she'd shut off the water so the pipes WOULDN'T freeze! She talked me through the steps of turning the water on, flushing, turning it back off, and running the faucet until the water was out of the pipes again. Boy, I dodged a bullet! Can you imagine having to clean it out...some other way?!?!?!?

 

[tevagirl]

Mirth!

TinkerbellMama, I would have sworn someone had broken in. Unless they did DNA testing, you'd be in the clear.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I have a related story to tell. Dh's grandmother passed away last year, and MIL inherited her house. It's vacant, but someone checks on it daily. I was visiting MIL a few months ago and offered to run over and check the house. I wasn't going to go inside, but I *really had to "go" so I let myself in with the key. Well, when I went to flush, nothing happened! I was really concerned that the pipes had frozen. I tried going to the sink to get a bucket of water to flush with, but nothing came out! OMG, frozen pipes! I was just dreading calling MIL to tell her about that...much less the present I'd left in the toilet! So, I did call her, told her there was no water in the house and I couldn't flush, and she started to freak out for a second...until she remembered she'd shut off the water so the pipes WOULDN'T freeze! She talked me through the steps of turning the water on, flushing, turning it back off, and running the faucet until the water was out of the pipes again. Boy, I dodged a bullet! Can you imagine having to clean it out...some other way?!?!?!?

You could have done a poop and run!!!!

Oh yeah- and I don't poop at people's houses either.

 

[agentpleakley]

I GOT A POOP TAG!!!!!

gotta love the potty humor --- see my tag -- -

Ooooohhhhhh..........so he's got a turtle head poking out does he?!

Okay -- I have never ever heard anyone use this term except for my DH
-- I just spit coffee on the laptop.

 

[Caropooh]

Me neither and that's why you'll find me going 75 in a 55 on the Parkway some days. And did you ever notice the closer you get to home the worse you have to go?

I swear my bladder is either directly connected to my brain or it has eyes! One way or another, it KNOWS when I'm headed to the bathroom and makes me REALLY have to go. Sometimes I get to the point where I have to do that walk where your butt muscles are clenched tight and you do that wiggle walk so you don't leak. GOD FORBID someone would need t talk to you. Then you still need to figure out how to gt your pants down once you are in the stall!

 

[1Prince2Princesses]

You people have issues.

 

[Thats_for_Shore]

You people have issues.

Oh, come on 3P, you've never had turd issues?

 

[mirthmaiden]

You people have issues.

Yes, we all do. That's what this thread is about

 

[wardfamily1]

You people have issues.

I don't care who you are, EVERYONE has had the turkey trots at one time in their life.

Turkey Trots = that UH OH feeling all of the sudden, you take a slow step, slow step, stop....run to the bathroom.

 

[tevagirl]

Oh, come on 3P, you've never had turd issues?

Not only turd issues, I also have public bathroom bladder issues. I can't go if there's a line (I don't work well under pressure), I can't go if the lock on the door doesn't work, I can't go if there are cracks between the door and the stall.

I'm so happy to be sharing my bathroom issues with you all. It's much cheaper than therapy.

 

[manning]

Can't believe the number of turdy stories there are.

 

[Thats_for_Shore]

Can't believe the number of turdy stories there are.

Please, join us. I'm sure you have a turdy story to share.