So is this tacky or am I old fashioned ?

[jazzielady]

Some relatives had a shower for my cousin's wife who is expecting their 2nd child. First child is less than 3 yo. They already know it's another girl.

I could understand if the first child was significantly older, or the second of the opposite gender, but I personally don't think it was appropriate.

Fortunately, I live 1,000 miles away and wasn't invited, so I didn't have the dilemma of whether to go or even to send a present.

Am I off-kilter on this and just behind the times?

 

[chloelovesdisney]

I think it's more common now. I enjoy showers so don't mind but I spend much less than on the 1st. I will get a bigger item from the registry the first time, and an outfit or two the second time. Even without the shower I would give a gift for the new baby, so it's no different to me.

 

[SDFgirl]

In my circle of friends, a second shower is uncommon. However, I've met a lot of people who DO have them and nobody blinks an eye. So, it is definitely not unheard of.

 

[cheermom1]

Showers for the 2nd kid not a big deal but 2 showers for one person for the same kid, I find that tacky. I was invited to 2 showers for the same person for the same kid one right after the other. WHY? Her parents couldn't get along after being divorced for 8 years! almost everyone was invited to both. So she had 2 showers with the same people there but one with the mom and one with the dad.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I think EVERY child is worth celebrating and every baby deserves special, new things that are hers (or his)--so I would say you are old fashioned (though I have seen photos of my grandmother at two different baby showers--in one one of my aunts is a toddler--so I am not sure that this is a "new" thing).

Showers for the 2nd kid not a big deal but 2 showers for one person for the same kid, I find that tacky. I was invited to 2 showers for the same person for the same kid one right after the other. WHY? Her parents couldn't get along after being divorced for 8 years! almost everyone was invited to both. So she had 2 showers with the same people there but one with the mom and one with the dad.

Okay--I agree that is tacky--and sad really.

 

[dakcp2001]

In my area & circle of friends we have showers for EVERY baby. I had never even heard of only having one for the first baby until I read it here on the Dis. I think you might just be behind the times!

Why would only the first baby be worthy of gifts? That seems a little mean to me?

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

In my area & circle of friends we have showers for EVERY baby. I had never even heard of only having one for the first baby until I read it here on the Dis. I think you might just be behind the times!

Why would only the first baby be worthy of gifts? That seems a little mean to me?

You shower the mother to be with gifts and necessities. No one is saying be mean to a baby - over-react much?

OP - yes very tacky to have another shower.

 

[Pigeon]

It's pretty common here, and it doesn't bother me. I see it as a celebration of a new baby.

If it offended me, I'd stay home and send a card.

 

[golfgal]

I think most people will give a gift for a baby anyway. I don't necessarily agree with having an actual 'shower' for second and subsequent babies but I wouldn't not go to one if it was someone I was going to buy a gift for anyway. For a second child though, I think it is more appropriate to have a shower AFTER the baby is born since typically you don't need the "stuff" like you do with your first.

 

[*pixie*dust*]

I am in my 30s. In my family and my circle of friends and co-workers, you only have a shower for the first child, unless there is a significant age gap betweeen children (10+ years). Otherwise it is looked on as tacky. So no you are not old. I guess it does vary by region and social group though.

 

[aprilgail2]

I am in my 30s. In my family and my circle of friends and co-workers, you only have a shower for the first child, unless there is a significant age gap betweeen children (10+ years). Otherwise it is looked on as tacky. So no you are not old. I guess it does vary by region and social group though.

I agree....as far as each baby being "special"- a shower is to shower the mother with gifts, not a celebration of baby....after the child is born everyone gives gifts anyway and that is celebrating the child- not a shower. A second shower is very tacky....we have come to a point that people use any occassion to have yet another gift grab....

 

[disneyjunkie]

In my area & circle of friends we have showers for EVERY baby. I had never even heard of only having one for the first baby until I read it here on the Dis. I think you might just be behind the times!

Why would only the first baby be worthy of gifts? That seems a little mean to me?

I'm 42. We also have showers for each baby.

I never heard of the one shower thing until I joined the DIS.

 

[cinmell]

Am I off-kilter on this and just behind the times?

I agree with you. We only do baby showers for the first born for my family and friends.

I think EVERY child is worth celebrating and every baby deserves special, new things that are hers (or his)--

I also agree that every baby is special and worth celebrating. For each child born to friends and family members, we bring gifts to the hospital or to the home shortly after the birth then again to the Baptism. However, we only have showers for the first born.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I also agree that every baby is special. For each child born to friends and family members, we bring gifts to the hospital or to the home shortly after the birth then again to the Baptism. However, we only have showers for the first born.

Maybe this is where the difference is--people threw me a shower for my second (I did not ask--they were friends, not relatives; it was very sweet of them). Anyway, no one who came to that shower also bought a gift once my son was born--the gift came at the shower. Likewise, normally when we go to a second (or third or fifth or whatever) shower the assumption is that the gift being given is the baby gift. Generally only the grandparents buy for showers and new baby visits in teh circles I have been in (and those granparents buy for pretty much EVERY reason--like it's monday)
SO, what some are seeing as a gift grab, others are seeing as having a party and in both instances the same number of gifts is being given, just differently

 

[Angelhalo]

I don't think its tacky but that's because it is very common here in NC. I know many people who have had baby showers for each child no matter the age difference. It's very standard here.

 

[Angelhalo]

I agree....as far as each baby being "special"- a shower is to shower the mother with gifts, not a celebration of baby....after the child is born everyone gives gifts anyway and that is celebrating the child- not a shower. A second shower is very tacky....we have come to a point that people use any occassion to have yet another gift grab....

The problem is that your definition is not everyone's definition. Here a shower is a celebration. There don't even have to be gifts. There usually are, but thats not what its about. It's about a celebration for a mother, whether its her first child or her 4th.

 

[clgwli]

I've been to showers for the 2nd child and all of them have been very low key. Most of them are way more low key. If you bring a present, that's fine. If you don't bring a present that is fine too. Most are happy to receive used items too. A lot of times it is just some newer clothes and diapers/wipes and the like. Stuff that the first child either didn't have (if the baby is a different sex) or stuff that is not reusable. It's more of a social get together before life gets crazy again than anything else. For us a baby shower is a celebration of the baby, not a grab fest for the mom.

I don't find a second shower tacky. Particularly since I helped plan a few for others too LOL

 

[rigs32]

How is an infant going to know that they're using the same stuff as their older sibling? With as much waste as we already produce, why buy new when the used is perfectly good?

That said, I've only ever been to one 2nd baby shower and it was because the 2nd child was a girl and the 1st was a boy. Everyone gave girly clothing/toys and nothing big as she already had that stuff.

 

[NMAmy]

I agree....as far as each baby being "special"- a shower is to shower the mother with gifts, not a celebration of baby....after the child is born everyone gives gifts anyway and that is celebrating the child- not a shower. A second shower is very tacky....we have come to a point that people use any occassion to have yet another gift grab....

Perhaps that's the difference--we do consider it a celebration of the baby and each baby gets a shower. I guess I'm not seeing the difference between everyone taking a gift after the baby is born and having a party where everyone gives a gift for the baby. Isn't that just a difference of timing and location?

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Our church threw us a baby shower for our second child.