So is this tacky or am I old fashioned ?

[NHdisneylover]

How is an infant going to know that they're using the same stuff as their older sibling? With as much waste as we already produce, why buy new when the used is perfectly good?

Well the main things I got for my son were special handmade items. DD13 treasures her hand made blankets, and handmade stuffed bunnies and DS treasures his handmade blankets and stuffed bears. Both kids also got new baby books and photo albums.

 

[mjkacmom]

Around here, showers are for the first baby only, with some exceptions. For example, a friend held a shower for another friend, who was having her 3rd. Her other kids are 6 and 7, and this baby was a surprise. It was low-key, a dinner for about a dozen friends, simple gifts. I was thrown a shower for my twins (a total surprise for me, as were the twins), and I received some clothing and diapers. So, sympathy showers!

 

[disneyjunkie]

Perhaps that's the difference--we do consider it a celebration of the baby and each baby gets a shower.

Our showers are big parties. Both parents and both sides of the family are present. Mom's friends and dad's friends are invited. We have tons of food and great music. We play a few silly shower games and ooh and aah over gifts. However, must of the time is spent eating, socializing and dancing.

 

[mom2boys77]

I don't think it's tacky. And I really don't get why people care so much. It's not like anyone is forcing you to go. My boys were almost 7 years apart so I had two showers. I didn't give them myself, I didn't even know about them. I have much bigger things to worry about than if someone is being "tacky".

 

[DVCisME]

I think it is tacky! I have actually seen women who are having their second child within 3 years or their first, get rid of stuff because they were having another shower. One woman actually did that and her family told her they were not having a shower so she expected her mil to purchase everything new again!!!
It seems crazy to me. It also is very bad for the environment to just toss instead of reuse good products.

 

[lovesmurfs]

Showers for the 2nd kid not a big deal but 2 showers for one person for the same kid, I find that tacky. I was invited to 2 showers for the same person for the same kid one right after the other. WHY? Her parents couldn't get along after being divorced for 8 years! almost everyone was invited to both. So she had 2 showers with the same people there but one with the mom and one with the dad.

Oh, for pity's sake! This is the most ludicrous thing I've heard of in a really long time. So what, are they going to have two christenings, just so that two "adults" don't have to be in the same room together? Two graduations? Baby's first Christmas should be interesting.

 

[punkin]

Since the OP lives 1000 miles away from the baby shower. it is quite likely that the social conventions are different in the two geographic areas. What is considered tacky in one part of the country is practically required in another.

 

[VAN]

I thought the shower was for the parent ... to shower them with supplies for the baby. In my "neck of the woods" a baby shower is just given for the first pregnancy. Sometimes if there is a large gap where the baby items were given away (can you say "surprise"!), another one will be given several years later to help restock a nursery.

Agree, that one shower is plenty. Any subsequent births can be celebrated ah hoc with a gift after the birth ... no need for soliciatation.

 

[LisaInNc]

I think that a lot of people do that. I think of it as an excuse to see the extended family I call them the "wedding and funeral cousins" they come out for babies too and I enoy it.

Love shopping for baby stuff too so I never mind!

Lisa

 

[Christine]

I don't think it's tacky but I know that the long-standing "rule" for showers was that you got one. Period.

I had two huge showers (one family/one office) when I had my first child (girl).

When I was pregnant 3.5 years later, my closest friend decided to throw mea shower. I felt weird about it because of the "rule" but she WANTED to do it and it was a fun thing. It was very low-key and there were only about 8 people there. My office gave me a card with some money and not a party. Since my second child was a boy, I guess they felt they needed to get me boy stuff so I basically got some boy outfits, some diapers, and necessity type stuff versus the BIG stuff I got on the first go-round.

It was just a fun day and we all had a good time and that's what it's all about.

 

[MIGrandma]

I agree with you. If they already have a girl and 3 years later are having another girl, no need for a shower. To me, that's a little greedy.

 

[Disneyrsh]

ok

 

[Sorsha]

Around here, it is a celebration of the birth of the baby; most of the time, the shower is not held until after the birth of the baby, so everyone gets a chance to see the baby UNLESS there are extenuating circumstances i.e. a fragile newborn, or baby is born during a flu outbreak etc.

Every baby gets a shower, and gifts are most often not expensive. It is not at all unheard of to get a package of diapers, a handmade afghan, a photo album and some scrapbooking supplies, some onesies and socks, etc.

So no, not tacky at all; in fact, it is considered tacky around here if the birth of a baby, any baby, passes without someone taking the reins and organizing a shower for mom.

 

[jamimb]

I think it is tacky! I have actually seen women who are having their second child within 3 years or their first, get rid of stuff because they were having another shower. One woman actually did that and her family told her they were not having a shower so she expected her mil to purchase everything new again!!!
It seems crazy to me. It also is very bad for the environment to just toss instead of reuse good products.

After 3 yrs the mother may have some big ticket items around (crib, stroller, etc.) and maybe even some clothes but there are still lots of things she will probably need like a diaper bag, bottles, burp clothes and bibs, diapers, bath supplies. I dont see what the big deal is!! Around here you pretty much get a baby shower with all your pregnancies except if it's your 4th or 5th and even then we usually give a diaper shower.

 

[Disneyrsh]

ok

 

[almburr]

I had 5 showers. The first kiddo got the bigger items stroller, changing table, etc. The other kids showers were diapers special gifts (handmade blakets,quilts) I dont see it as greedy. The showers here are after the baby is born. Its more about showering the baby with gifts(bottles,diapers, clothes etc.)

I didnt have to buy diapers for over a year with one of the kids that was one of the main gifts.

My showers were held at the church by the church ladies.

I think it becomes greedy when the mom tells people what to get and how much to spend on a gift.

 

[MiniGirl]

Around here, it is a celebration of the birth of the baby; most of the time, the shower is not held until after the birth of the baby, so everyone gets a chance to see the baby UNLESS there are extenuating circumstances i.e. a fragile newborn, or baby is born during a flu outbreak etc.

Every baby gets a shower, and gifts are most often not expensive. It is not at all unheard of to get a package of diapers, a handmade afghan, a photo album and some scrapbooking supplies, some onesies and socks, etc.

So no, not tacky at all; in fact, it is considered tacky around here if the birth of a baby, any baby, passes without someone taking the reins and organizing a shower for mom.

Same here. My girls are 2 1/2 years apart, but I was still given a shower for my youngest. I didn't ask to have one and didn't need one, but I thought it was nice that it was done anyway. We were still new in town and at our church and I was so touched by those who came. Some brought modest gifts and some did not, but none of that mattered. I also don't think anyone saw it as a gift grab.

 

[Minnesota!]

I agree....as far as each baby being "special"- a shower is to shower the mother with gifts, not a celebration of baby....after the child is born everyone gives gifts anyway and that is celebrating the child- not a shower. A second shower is very tacky....we have come to a point that people use any occassion to have yet another gift grab....

ditto

 

[jazzielady]

All these different perspectives are very interesting. Thank you! Guess I'm just old fashioned.

 

[Sorsha]

I think, like so many other things on the Dis, your perspective on this issue will be determined by 3 basic factors:

1) Age
2) Location
3) Rural or Urban

It seems, time and time again, at least one of these will be the determining factor on how we feel about matters of etiquette and social norms.