Sister's house is a slum

[vettechick99]

This is when you tell your sister that the conditions in which she is raising her kids is unacceptable. You will not accept gratuitous "yes I will"s and nods of the head. She needs tough love and that would be she gets the house fixed or you call DFCS. If the house is truly unhabitable and unsafe for her kids, you need to start protecting them instead of her. She's irresponsible and it's time for her to grow up. She's gonna need your help. GL!

 

[Wishing on a star]

Anybody here who is flaming/blaming/questioning the OP and her husband are WAY out of line.
I simply can not believe some of the comments here.
It is not up the OP to tell her sister or any other adult anything about how they 'live their life'.
It is not up to the OP to go over to her sister's to take care of things more often so that they don't get 'that bad'.
Like the OP is to blame for her sisters situation.... Wow.... just WOW.
I've been there done that, and I know that's just not how it works.

While I know this situation hurts the OP very deeply, she is NOT her sisters keeper.

OP, I completely understand!!!!!

And, I assumed right when I posted that her husbands response was probably the product of having been taken advantage of one too many times before, only to see his in-laws do NOTHING to improve their situation.

OP, try to be a little closer to your sister so that you can make a better assesment of the situation. ( NOT getting involved... taking over and insisting on helping...) but just be closer to her. Call her up, tell her you will drop by to pick her up and go to lunch, or whatever... Just like sisters hanging out. Like I said, this kind of situation is the result of heavy issues, such as drug abuse/addiction, spousal abuse, psychological emotional mental issues, etc... But, you will never see the truth from a distance.

If you continue to feel that this situation is not acceptable for the kids after you take a while to take a closer look... then by all means, yes, you may want to consider a call to CPS.

PS: Do you, or anyone you know, know of an electrician who may be able to take care of that huge concern. I might suggest that you could try to help take of of that one pressing issue... I would be like "Hey, sis, I know this guy who can come fix that up for you... let me give him a call... I would be happy to pay for it...." I would consider doing that, as it would at least help me to sleep easier re: the children's safety!!!

But, other than that one pressing safety issue... nope... It hurts to see that sometimes there is really nothing you can do.

 

[Robinrs]

1st let me say that I am not angry at my sister. I am just shocked that her house is in the condition it is. This is not just I didn't clean this week. The reason I have not been in her house is because she prefered it that way. She would come to my house or brothers for holidays etc.

Why was I in the bedroom? It is a very tiny house, you can't miss the bedroom.

I am sorry I posted here not because of the things said about me but because it is hard to put all the background information into a short post. We have helped my sister out many times. I had my husband co-sign a loan for her years ago only to have her almost default on it. She then did the same thing to my brother. But, we continued to help her out, learning not to lend her money or sign a loan for her.

I am going to try to speak with her but from past experience, I am sure she will just yes me to death.

I never said I would turn her into CPS nor do I intend to. My concern is someone else could do it.

My husband is very concerned about the kids being raised in this type of enviroment and points out the danger of the electrical panel . This is the full panel with breakers etc.

This will be my last post on the subject as it is just too much to go into.

Thank you disykat .....you understood.

Yes, it's next to impossible to convey all of the history and info needed for advice and venting here on an internet board. That's why I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than to share anything on here anymore. Anonymity allows people the ability to stick their noses into your life, but only after you've allowed them in. The only thing you can control is not sharing.

I hope you find a way to get thru this....