sisters backing out on trip

[dznyacct]

I have 5 sisters and for several months I have been planning a "girls only" trip to WDW for next June for all 6 of us plus my mom (76 yo) and my niece (7 on my birthday!). Everyone had tentatively accepted my offer of providing FREE lodging for the trip using our DVC points. I really thought that it would be a time for great memories having all of us "girls" together. Over the last few weeks 4 of my sisters have decided that they can't go. One (who doesn't work and doesn't have a clue about the stresses of real life) said she can't go because it's "too stressful" to get ready for a vacation and pack!! I told her she needed to get a job and then she would understand how much you look forward to and enjoy a vacation!! Another one has never flown before and has allowed her husband to convice her that she "can't". The youngest two (twins) just got back from Vegas yesterday and told me tonight that they can't afford two vacations in one year so they can't go to WDW with me. It's really hurt my feelings that they have all backed out. I think my mom was really looking forward to having us all together too. Oh well, I guess that means I won't have to borrow points for my son and I to go to WDW over Spring Break.

 

[rocketriter]

Yes, this is disappointing. The key phrase here is "tentatively accepted." When we travel with extended family we make it clear a year in advance that a commitment is not tentative and that even if we're providing free accomodations, they're not free to us so anyone who backs out will have to reimburse us.

There's always a magic moment early in the planning where you can politely bring this up without hurting anyone's feelings. But if you think the relatives are the sort who will "rewrite history" if they change their minds, and deny that they ever committed this thoroughly, well, they shouldn't be invited in the first place.

Yep, it's harsh. But this board is full of stories like yours--good people trying to do something nice for the family and then getting stuck.

 

[donald...really]

I am so sorry to hear that your sisters backed out on you. I have planned a trip with my entire family for this October and I would also be very disapointed if they were to cancel! Once they agreed to go and a date was chosen, I made it VERY clear that they could not back out as it would be very difficult to change the plans at a later date.

Are you still planning to go with your Mom, etc?

 

[castleri]

Sounds like you should go with the other sister, Mom, your niece and your son - If the other four choose not to go it's their loss. It sounds like it would have been wonderful together trip to have everyone along but it doesn't sound as if your sisters see the "together" part as clearly as you do. As we all know these days life can be too short and there may not be many times in the future when you can all be together - go for the trip with as many as you can and have a wonderful time making great memories.

 

[jmminarik]

4 sisters in a few weeks? Sounds like there may have been some worried discussions between them on how to back out. You (plural) have to be careful planning WDW trips with non-fanatics. Sometimes those abnormal people who don't like animated mice and magical princesses will say 'yes, what a great idea'. We normal people translate that as "Yes, I want to go with you to the most happiest place on earth and I am eternally grateful that you had the foresight to buy into a disney timeshare so we could enjoy these trips with you more affordably and to show our appreciation we'll detail your car and do your laundry for a month and buy you dinner while we're there and we'll sit through the photo slide show DVD of your 250,000 WDW photos" when what they really meant was 'Ok, It's a nice idea'.

These people are not to be confuzzed with the 'We love Disney, thanks for buying DVC, get us a room. And one for next year, and two in the following year'. The former are an acute pain, the latter a chronic situation.

When we took the in-laws we made it very clear that after a certain date we considered them going unless they told us they weren't. We called the night before that date to verify. We also calculated the rack rate with taxes so they could put into perspective how much this is 'valued' at and then showed them how much their backing out would cost us in real dollars.

Thankfully, our friends and my family don't need this cluing in. Not that the inlaws are bad or our friends and family are better people, but some folks still think of Disney was going to the local amusement park and when your typical vacation is hunting or fishing or visiting family, you don't think much about the ramifications of backing out of a planned trip.

Of course, I could be wrong.

-Joe

 

[jakal]

Good news-

I talked to MY sisters and we all agreed that we will go with you and your Mom as honorary sisters. We're all Disney fanatics and, of course, would do anything for a fellow fanatic.

I hope you realize what a huge sacrifice this is for myself and my two sisters.... Having to leave kids and husbands and jobs. It will be tough, but for you-we'll tough it out!



Christine

 

[ForTheLoveofDisney]

Originally posted by jakal
Good news-

I talked to MY sisters and we all agreed that we will go with you and your Mom as honorary sisters. We're all Disney fanatics and, of course, would do anything for a fellow fanatic.

I hope you realize what a huge sacrifice this is for myself and my two sisters.... Having to leave kids and husbands and jobs. It will be tough, but for you-we'll tough it out!



Christine

Oh Christine,

I had talked to my sisters as well and we're so ready to go and be her honorary sisters. How many sis's do you have? There are three girls in our family and we are ALL Nutzo~To~Go fanatics for Disney.
We are definately the ones who "to show our appreciation we'll detail your car and do your laundry for a month and buy you dinner while we're there and we'll sit through the photo slide show DVD of your 250,000 WDW photos"

So maybe we can throw some of our points in and we'll all go!!!

For dznyacct, of course!!!

 

[tjkraz]

Any chance there's a touch of "Hurricane Hysteria" (tm) playing into these decisions? Central Florida hasn't exactly been getting the best press lately.

 

[kathleena]

Originally posted by jakal
I talked to MY sisters and we all agreed that we will go with you and your Mom as honorary sisters. We're all Disney fanatics and, of course, would do anything for a fellow fanatic.

Oh dear, I was going to volunteer to be an honorary sister also! And I have a 10yo DGD that I could bring to play with the niece too.

So sorry this has happened - but now you know! Now you know that you don't need to ask them in the future (at least the first two as Ms Stressful and Ms Flightfright won't be changing in the near future I assume?) And the twins? Well, if they are Vegas girls, maybe WDW isn't for them anyway.

Go with Mom and your other sis and niece and have a great time! Enjoy your extra points with a 1br or splurge on the 2br! Or stay longer in the 1br!

 

[4greatboys]

Originally posted by jmminarik
4 sisters in a few weeks? Sounds like there may have been some worried discussions between them on how to back out. You (plural) have to be careful planning WDW trips with non-fanatics. Sometimes those abnormal people who don't like animated mice and magical princesses will say 'yes, what a great idea'. We normal people translate that as "Yes, I want to go with you to the most happiest place on earth and I am eternally grateful that you had the foresight to buy into a disney timeshare so we could enjoy these trips with you more affordably and to show our appreciation we'll detail your car and do your laundry for a month and buy you dinner while we're there and we'll sit through the photo slide show DVD of your 250,000 WDW photos" when what they really meant was 'Ok, It's a nice idea'.

These people are not to be confuzzed with the 'We love Disney, thanks for buying DVC, get us a room. And one for next year, and two in the following year'. The former are an acute pain, the latter a chronic situation.




When we took the in-laws we made it very clear that after a certain date we considered them going unless they told us they weren't. We called the night before that date to verify. We also calculated the rack rate with taxes so they could put into perspective how much this is 'valued' at and then showed them how much their backing out would cost us in real dollars.

Thankfully, our friends and my family don't need this cluing in. Not that the inlaws are bad or our friends and family are better people, but some folks still think of Disney was going to the local amusement park and when your typical vacation is hunting or fishing or visiting family, you don't think much about the ramifications of backing out of a planned trip.

Of course, I could be wrong.

-Joe

Well I dont have any sisters so I will happily volunteer to be your new sis--and Im smart enough to fly by myself and totally enjoy a Disney vacation

 

[adriannabannana]

I agree with rocketriter,
Quote: Yep, it's harsh. But this board is full of stories like yours--good people trying to do something nice for the family and then getting stuck.

I was one of them, and it really stinks. I've taken the advice of people here and told my family that they're welcome when we invite them, but the vacation is on our terms and we're not changing anything unless they cough up some dough to compensate for it. I'll borrow more points for more room only if they've already bought their tickets and fully committed to going, and there really isn't room already. We were duped into adding a studio to our stay because my stepdad didn't want to sleep on a sofa bed and didn't want to share a room, then he cancelled.

Never Again.

 

[jarestel]

Being a member of a fairly large extended family myself, I can certainly understand what you're going through. When we offer to bring family with us to WDW, we do so because we truly want to spend time with them. However, when someone pulls out at a late date for what we consider a "dumb" reason, they're not invited again and if they express a desire to come in the future, we simply refer them to Disney hotels that we think might meet their needs. We like sharing DVC with our friends and family, but if they show themselves to be irresponsible, we let them make their own arrangements from then on.

 

[LIFERBABE]

than to invite 99% of my family and friends along. There is nothing worse than taking people that do not appreciate the magic.

I know it was member homecoming and everyone was in a community mood, but I was solo and received so many invites from other members to hang out with them or dine with them. It was great and we always had something to talk about even if it was briefly.

I guess it's best to learn how not to jeopardize your points by inviting others that will back out on you, so you can enjoy the rest of your DVC guilt free.

 

[WOW]

I get really angry when I hear a situation like yours. You are trying to do a good thing and have all your "girls" together as a family, yet some adults forget the meaning of "putting your family" first. They need to get a life and realize how important family is.

Pardon me if I sound agressive, but today being Sept 11 makes me sad and reminds me of how vulnerable each of us are, and to hear that some people just don't treasure each day and treasure their families just bothers my soul.

I suggest you go with your Mother and 7 year old and have a great time......you will make magical memories together!!!!!!!

 

[Terry S]

dznyacct.... Somewhat of the same thing happened to me this year. I had planned for a year for my 3 bothers and their families to go with us and my mom and step-dad to WDW for my parents 25th anniversary. I had to call the airlines and get a group rate and sign a contract and everything since 21 of us would be traveling. It was not a tentatvie thing. They all put money down for airline tickets and everything. Well 2 months before leaving every single one of my brothers (and their families) cancelled for one reason or another.

We still went with my parents and had a wonderful time. There were actually a few extra things we did for my parents like Cirque de Solei and some special dinners that we would not have been able to do had everyone been there because they would not have been able to afford it. We had a great time despite the dissapointment of everyone not being there. Just try and go with a real good outlook with whoever else you have let that wants to go.

 

[lizziepooh]

Is there any chance they will change their minds? I wish they would consider what this trip would mean to your mom. At age 76, you just never know when things could change and there might not be another chance for a trip.

My mom is 77 and not in great health. She mentioned this summer that she would like to go to Disney "one more time". I was able to get a 2 bedroom at OKW in November for a "girls" trip. This will include Mom, myself, two of my sisters, a cousin, and 10 year old niece. Two other sisters were unable to go on short notice due to family and work obligations. (Plane tickets and park passes are purchased so hopefully no one will cancel. )

I hope things work out for you. If they don't change their minds, go anyway and have a great time with your mom.

 

[dznyacct]

I knew you guys would "get it". Your kind words have been very nice. I am by far the real Disney nut in the family. Even my license plate proclaims my love of WDW (DZNY NUT!!!). I am sure that my mom, one sole sister and her daughter will still be going. My love of Disney began at home. My old bedroom is my mom's Mickey room now with all of the ºoº items she has collected over the years. My niece's birthday is in a few weeks and I already have Disney Dollars to give her (my mom's idea, no wonder I'm so smart!). This will be her first plane ride and she is very excited, wanting to make sure she gets a window seat! I am taking everyone's advice and will not invite the "backer-outers" along on any future WDW trips. I am seriously thinking about inviting some close friends of mine to come along as surrogate sisters, although I do appreciate all the nice offers you have all made to be stand-ins!

Like a few of you have said, I think this trip with all of us would have been very special to my mom. Every year she and my dad (almost 81) go to Florida for 5 months. I am very glad that they are still in good health and can do this, but each time they leave I get this uneasy feeling wondering if "something" will happen to them while they're gone. I'm the executor (sp) of their will so my mom is compelled to tell me all the death related things (where important papers are, etc.).

Believe me I love all of my sisters dearly, but sometimes (right now especially!!!) they drive me absolutely NUTS!!! I had already told them that we would not be together 24/7 and there is so much more to do at WDW than the theme parks. Oh well, I guess it's their loss and me, one sister and niece will be the ones to make the good memories with my mom.

Thanks for understanding. You guys are better than any therapist!!

 

[rinkwide]

Originally posted by dznyacct
I'm the executor (sp) of their will...

Maybe you should refresh your sisters' memory regarding that fact and let them know how dissapointed you are with all these cancellations.

 

[Cruelladeville]

I, too, have sisters, so I feel your pain

Keep in mind that taking Mom (and Dad??) with you to WDW, and making all those new memories with them, may be sweet revenge

 

[kathleena]

"I'm the executor (sp) of their will so my mom is compelled to tell me all the death related things (where important papers are, etc.)."

And there's probably good reason why they chose you to do this, apparently!

Sounds like you are already getting over the disappointment - although I feel badly for your dear Mom having her other daughters back out like this.

I'm just still not over backing out because of the stress of packing a suitcase. I was working in the garden yesterday and still shaking my head over that one!

I'm so happy I have one step-child who understands.......