Should I try to do it, or not?

[smkiya]

DD turned 5 on Oct 13th. The cutoff for Kindergarten was Oct 1st but dd was ready. The school did not allow her to start, but said that if she went to a private K, that if she passed she would be allowed to go into the 1st grade next year.

We decided to enroll her in a private K, and see how she did. If she wasn't ready, rather than start her in 1st grade we'd just let her do the public school K, and pretend this year was pre-K. She received her first report card, and I also had a conference with the teacher who said dd is exceling in all areas, helps her classmates and is well above many of the 'older' children in the class.

Well a dear co-worker and I were discussing the cuts in OT at work, and how I'd like to find something part-time so that I could eliminate all of my debt (especially with these interest rates going up). I said, I'd be ahead of the game if I didn't have to spend almost $800/month to send dd to Kindergarten. Her suggestion seems like brilliance, but I'd like to know your opinions on the matter before I pursue it.

She suggested I attempt to transfer dd into public school. She would be able to go straight to first grade next year without any problems anyway, why not just start the process now. If we moved from out of state, or city she would have to transfer schools anyway. What's the difference. She's already in Kindergarten, she'd just be making a lateral transfer. I would wait until after the Christmas break for her to start. Dh thought that she'd have to make new friends, but she would have to anyway in first grade. But these would be the kids she'd be with in first, second, third grade, etc. She transitions very well, and makes new friends easily. Plus she'd be with her friends from the neighborhood. Her best friend is in K in the public school, she lives across the street.

Well, I'm torn. I don't know what to do. I'd love to save several thousand dollars, but what if the curriculum is too different, I don't want to set her up to fail when she's doing so well. The school she's in now though is full day, and they learn science, spanish, computers, social studies, as well as the reading, writing, math, etc. Public school is only half day. Do you think the school district would even allow her to transfer in? There are many states with Oct. 15th cut-offs, and even December cut-offs, what happens when those kids transfer in the middle of a school year?

 

[Gabes_mommy]

I would transfer her if I could for monetary reasons. The school district may not allow it though due to her age.

I am interested in hearing any experiences trying this. I am just curious by nature.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

In our school district, the child who goes to a private school to get around the cut-off date can NOT transfer until the whole grade is completed. I sent DD early (her bday is late December) and never regretted it. But I also kept her in the same school system.

And just on a side note, when your child gets to HS it is much harder to deal with them being younger. EX: all their friends will be able to drive and they won't, and like in the case of my DD she will only be 17 for her first year of college and won't be 21 until she is leaving college. Therefore, she will not be legal to drink until the last minutes of college... Just some food for thought.

 

[Hillbeans]

My son's birthday is on 9/23, so he'll make the NJ cut-off for Kindergarten next year by 7 days. He has been in Pre-school since turning 3 and seems ready academically to advance to K next year. He is also bigger than a lot of kids in his class so that helps too.

Sometimes though he does seem emotionally younger than children who just turned 5 in his Pre-school as he just turned 4 in September. I do think he'll catch up. A friend of mine had a daughter whose birthday was 10/2 and missed the cut-off by 2 days. She is very smart and was bored taking another Preschool year. She could have easily advanced to K that year.

 

[princess momma]

$800 a month for kindergarten? Honestly, kids that age are incredibly resilient. I would look into transferring to the public school.

My daughter is really close to the cutoff, so I had her in a 3 year old preschool program with every intention of holding her back and sending her to 4 year old preschool the following year. Her teachers thought she was ready to go to kindergarten, so I sent her. And I don't regret it a bit, she's doing great in school.

 

[savannahcat]

I had a similar situation last year. My DD6's birthday is 9/20 and the cutoff here is 9/1. Like your daughter she is bright and ahead of her classmates. I thought she was ready for kindergarten last year, but she couldn't attend due to the cutoff. (She had already completed 3 and 4-year-old preschool.)

I ended up enrolling her in transitional K last year with the intent of enrolling her in first grade this year. Then, my DH and I struggled with this decision for months. We knew she'd be fine in 1st grade, but we worried about how she would do socially as the kids age - especially in middle school. We ultimately decided to do K this year instead of 1st grade and we have not regretted it for a second.

Although DD6 is well ahead of her classmates academically (she's reading at a 3rd grade level), she's also thriving within the structure of the kindergarten class (still lots of playtime involved). I look at it as giving her an extra year of childhood - plus I like that she won't be leaving for college at 17! Kids are already pushed to grow up so fast and I didn't want to add to that for her.

A year ago, I was determined to send her to first grade, but now, I'm so glad I didn't. Feel free to PM me with any questions.

 

[scouthawkk]

We had a similar situation with our DS. Our cut off date is Sept. 1st. He didn't turn 5 until Sept. 12. But our school system allows for testing for early entry. So we had him tested, and he passed. So he started early. We thought about the private K and then go to 1st grade the following year, but in our county, that isn't an option. Since we already lived in the county he would have either had to redo K or be tested into 1st. So that's why we tested for K. He was way to advanced not to (and still is in 2nd grade). Yes, he's the youngest in his class, but you wouldn't know it. If we would have had the option of private K to start and then transfer to public after the school year had started, we probably would have gone that route.

I say, if it's truely an option-you'd have to contact the school board to find out if it is-go for it. But I'd seriously look into what the public school has to offer first. It seems like your DD has a very good class load, and going from full day to half, I can't imagine that public school would be able to keep her challenged the way the full day program would. And would you have someone to take care of her the second half of the day, or would you still need to pay for care for that time.

In this particular situation, I think, if it were me, I would have to keep DS in private because he'd be more challenged, and the put him in 1st at the beginning of the next year. I would have loved that option because the private K we were looking at would have been great, and more challenging than what he got in the public K. But, as I mentioned earlier, he would have had to repeat K or be tested into 1st. Didn't make sense, for us at the time to shell out the $1200 a month for private when we could test him into public. Heck, we even looked into Montessori schools for him. But they all followed the state's age cut offs, so we were out of luck there, too.

But truely, in the long run, you need to determine what is best for your own DD and your family. If she is excelling where she's at, that may be the best option for her, unless the public school can offer her something similar...

 

[EthansMom]

It can't hurt to look into it, but don't be surprised if (1) the public school still won't accept her since she wasn't 5 by Oct. 1, 2009 and/or (2) the private school won't release you from your obligation for the year (I'm assuming you signed a contract for the year).

In DS's class there was one little girl who transferred in partway through Kindergarten when her private Kindergarten closed abruptly. Like your daughter, she didn't make the cutoff for the age for the class. She had a VERY rough time adjusting to the new classroom/routine that first year... quite emotional. Now, in third grade, she seems a bit immature compared to the other girls in the class.

I'm all for kids being placed in classes that are appropriate for their academic ability and emotional/mental state. But, depending upon a lot of factors (size of class, teacher, routine, etc...), she may NOT perform as well if transferred to the public school class.

 

[disney1990]

In our school district, the child who goes to a private school to get around the cut-off date can NOT transfer until the whole grade is completed. I sent DD early (her bday is late December) and never regretted it. But I also kept her in the same school system.

And just on a side note, when your child gets to HS it is much harder to deal with them being younger. EX: all their friends will be able to drive and they won't, and like in the case of my DD she will only be 17 for her first year of college and won't be 21 until she is leaving college. Therefore, she will not be legal to drink until the last minutes of college... Just some food for thought.

My DD didn't turn 5 until October 17th. She started K when she was 4 and is now in college. The age was never an issue.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

The other thing you have to consider is if your daughter is the sporty type, ie: does it look like she will be playing lots of different sports as she gets older.

One of my children's friends is the one who is the "young" one in the class.

Many of the sports here are age based and use the school cutoffs to determine the team. This child is very, very athletic and plays many sports. But, due to age, this child is always on a younger team than their friends.

Let me tell you, they HATE it. They would much rather be on the same team as their friends. It is not very fun for an 8th grader to be on a team with mostly 7th graders.

The Mom told me that she believed thinking about sports was utterly stupid when she made the decision to enroll her child early. She was primarily focused on academics and that her child was academically ready.

Now that they are finishing up middle school, she said it was utterly stupid to not consider it. She worries about high school now; the driving, the possibility of having to spend lots of time on the bench while on the Freshman teams due to being so young, dating when the kids are older, etc.

Just another perspect from a mom who regrets her decision. It may or may not apply to your situation.

 

[kacaju]

DD turned 5 on Oct 13th. The cutoff for Kindergarten was Oct 1st but dd was ready. The school did not allow her to start, but said that if she went to a private K, that if she passed she would be allowed to go into the 1st grade next year.

We decided to enroll her in a private K, and see how she did. If she wasn't ready, rather than start her in 1st grade we'd just let her do the public school K, and pretend this year was pre-K. She received her first report card, and I also had a conference with the teacher who said dd is exceling in all areas, helps her classmates and is well above many of the 'older' children in the class.

Well a dear co-worker and I were discussing the cuts in OT at work, and how I'd like to find something part-time so that I could eliminate all of my debt (especially with these interest rates going up). I said, I'd be ahead of the game if I didn't have to spend almost $800/month to send dd to Kindergarten. Her suggestion seems like brilliance, but I'd like to know your opinions on the matter before I pursue it.

She suggested I attempt to transfer dd into public school. She would be able to go straight to first grade next year without any problems anyway, why not just start the process now. If we moved from out of state, or city she would have to transfer schools anyway. What's the difference. She's already in Kindergarten, she'd just be making a lateral transfer. I would wait until after the Christmas break for her to start. Dh thought that she'd have to make new friends, but she would have to anyway in first grade. But these would be the kids she'd be with in first, second, third grade, etc. She transitions very well, and makes new friends easily. Plus she'd be with her friends from the neighborhood. Her best friend is in K in the public school, she lives across the street.

Well, I'm torn. I don't know what to do. I'd love to save several thousand dollars, but what if the curriculum is too different, I don't want to set her up to fail when she's doing so well. The school she's in now though is full day, and they learn science, spanish, computers, social studies, as well as the reading, writing, math, etc. Public school is only half day. Do you think the school district would even allow her to transfer in? There are many states with Oct. 15th cut-offs, and even December cut-offs, what happens when those kids transfer in the middle of a school year?

I have been right where you are now. My oldest just turned 16 on Oct 8th and our cut off is Oct 1st.

I waited the year. Looking back, now I am glad we waited. She has a good friend in her grade whose parents did just what you are doing. Because of that they are almost 2 years apart in age. My dd is 16 and her friend right now is still 14. They are in 10th grade. My dd's boyfriend is a Senior and just turned 18.

If you move to a new school district you stay where you are class wise. Another one of my dd's friend is exactly 1 week younger then my dd yet is a grade ahead because where they used to live that cut off was Dec 31st.


You need to do what you think is best for your dd. When my dd was 4 going on 5 I never thought how her age would affect her in HS or College. She will be a Senior in HS when she turns 18, not a Freshman in College.

Stupid things like driving, dating these are things you don't think about in a 5 year old, but certainly think about in a 15 year old.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

My DD didn't turn 5 until October 17th. She started K when she was 4 and is now in college. The age was never an issue.

My DD is having a hard time with all her friends (many in younger grades) driving before her. And she is also having a harder time deciding whether of not to go away or stay home for college. She is quite a bit younger than most of the other students. Age is definetely an issue for my daughter and as I said, it is just something the OP may want to consider in her decision. Ultimately, it should be her decision.

 

[wdwfan16]

What is your plans for her daycare when she is not in the half-day kindergarten class. I would keep here where she is, since it will only be for 1/2 of a year more. Let her get one full year under her belt and then mover her next year as planned.

 

[LadyZolt]

Personally, I'd keep her home or maybe do a few days a week at preschool, and put her in kindergarten next year. There are a lot of advantages to being among the oldest kids in the class -- especially when puberty hits. Also, when the harder algebraic math comes along, some kids don't "get" it simply because their brains aren't mature enough, so giving her the advantage of being one of the oldest increases her chances of success academically.

I was one of the youngest in my class. I did all right, but was always one of the smallest girls and if I had to do it again, I wish my parents would have waited another year. Academically, I could do the material, but that didn't mean being the youngest, shortest kid didn't have its drawbacks. Also, being "smarter" than those older than you doesn't exactly endear them to you, either -- not when you're a kid. Kids can be mean.

-Dorothy (LadyZolt)

 

[allison443]

Do you think the school district would even allow her to transfer in? There are many states with Oct. 15th cut-offs, and even December cut-offs, what happens when those kids transfer in the middle of a school year?

I would check with your school district to see if it is even possible. Like some others have said, they make not accept her into kindergarten even as a transfer. So you really need to know if it is a viable option before trying to weight the pros and cons, etc.

I am in NJ, in our state the cutoff date is set by the individual school district and ours is October 31.

 

[smkiya]

Thanks everyone for your replies. I'm still not sure what to do. I'm home during the week, so half day K isn't a problem. I have to look at the contract I signed with her private school. A pp may be right, though I think I read something about giving at least a couple weeks notice, not sure. Another poster also mentioned that the township may make her stay the whole year. These are all things to consider. I don't regret starting her early, but I might regret making her transfer. *SIGH*

 

[bookgirl]

I made the cutoff by one day. They suggested holding me back and my mom did not because academically I was 2 years ahead. All was great until I got to High School. All my friends drove a year before me and I was not as emotionally mature. It was never an issue in grade school, but once I hit MS it began to show up and by high school I wished my mom had never let me start school. Plus depending on your views on dating, if you make her wait till she's 16, she's going to be a year behind that as well.

You have to do what's best for your family, but look ahead and thing about those teen years.

 

[smkiya]

I am in NJ, in our state the cutoff date is set by the individual school district and ours is October 31.

I'm in NJ too and they said the entire state is October 1st!

 

[georgina]

Our district allows for testing also to admit kids whose birthdays fall after the cutoff (Sept 1 here). Since kindergarten is not required by the state, they can refuse to allow them to start, but have accepted transfers in older grades of younger kids. There has been a rash of grade skipping lately also, especially in the middle school grades. I really don't think driving is that big an issue around here with kids, my girls are on the young side and many of their friends drove earlier; my son is 17 and not interested in driving. The girls seem to be more mature than the boys (on average) in the same grade, so I would worry less about a girl who was younger.

 

[JoanGirardi]

My oldest son has a September birthday, so he started when he was 4, and he really wished we'd started him a year later for the sports aspects as well as driving, etc. He excelled academically, but he was immature in a lot of ways, and I wish we'd kept him home an extra year, in hindsight. As to your question for your daughter this year, you probably won't hurt your daughter's development by switching her to the public program, but I'd be pretty surprised if the school allowed a transfer when they wouldn't let her enroll in the first place. Let us know how you make out.