Should I not be upset?

[crashbb]

Are you kidding? Some of my best childhood memories are from playing with my cousins!

I agree. As much as the PP says she feels sorry for the OP and her child, I feel sorry for the PP. Must have had some awful experiences in life to jump to the conclusions to which she is jump and for the interpretation she is making on the OP's comments. So very sad.

 

[SaraJayne]

Mug Pimping aside, don't you guys agree that he should have either:

A) mentioned that he wouldn't be back until 2 or so and/or

B) perhaps foregone the haircut attempt with the friend and had a family day?

It's not as if she didn't specifically say to him that she was off that Sunday and would like to spend some time as a family doing something together, right?

Regardless of why he took off for the day, it would have been hurtful to me and kind of a red flag. Put me in the camp that says it doesn't mean affair, but it does mean his priorities are different. It's something that needs to be addressed.

Have any of you guys blatantly disregarded your wife in that manner? Just completely ignored what she said?

Perhaps it's a communication issue? I have to be very specific with the dh or things get misconstrued very easily. It's a pita, but it beats arguments.

To me, it would make a difference if she said "hey, honey, I have Sunday off. Let's do something, ok?"

Vs saying "Hey, honey, I have Sunday off. Let's go to the apple orchard at 2, so please be home by 1:30, ok?"

If they didn't have specific plans, then I don't fault the guy for not being home by a certain time.

 

[SAHDad]

To me, it would make a difference if she said "hey, honey, I have Sunday off. Let's do something, ok?"

Vs saying "Hey, honey, I have Sunday off. Let's go to the apple orchard at 2, so please be home by 1:30, ok?"

If they didn't have specific plans, then I don't fault the guy for not being home by a certain time.

And then there is option 3 - "Hey honey, I have Sunday off. I know you absolutely hate going to the antique show, but like it or not, you are going. And then we are going to the restuarant with the food you hate, so please be home by 1:30. Or else."

 

[LittlePinkDot]

Are you kidding? Some of my best childhood memories are from playing with my cousins!

I loved playing with my cousins too But every single Sunday?

Dad gets off one day a week and spends it with his friend, while son plays with cousin. Seems like the routine is that dad (correct me if I am wrong, OP) spends no time alone with son.

Yes they should have communicated better but without actually being closer to this couple, it is an unthoughtful comment to suggest the DH is having an affair. Although on the Dis, it is a pretty common response from some posters whenever a wife psots about a problem with a husband.

I never thought for once OP’s husband was cheating It just seems like he doesn’t want to spend time with his wife. He would rather hang with his buddy. Something he does every Sunday. Now, his wife has this rare day off and he doesn't stick around to be with her. It’s a crappy way to treat your spouse.

 

[pyrxtc]

Since you spend 80% of your time at a remote lake , how do you know this?
Both my son & Dh go to different Barbers-neither is open Sunday or Monday

History-



Barbering dates back to the Bronze Age of 3,500 B.C., and is even mentioned in the Bible. Barbers initially cut hair, but also acted as dentists and even surgeons. Initially, women were not allowed to visit a barbershop, but today they not only receive services, but may also attend barber schools in order to become licensed barbers. Barbers typically do not work on Sundays and Mondays because of a tradition that dates back for centuries.

Dang !! You are being quite rude to C. Ann. What does living at a a lake have to do with knowing anything about Barbers ? My DH's and DS's Barber is open on Mondays.

 

[SaraJayne]

And then there is option 3 - "Hey honey, I have Sunday off. I know you absolutely hate going to the antique show, but like it or not, you are going. And then we are going to the restuarant with the food you hate, so please be home by 1:30. Or else."

Right. There always has to be an "other".

 

[LuvsDragonflies]

Well a previous poster did say "men are clueless."

Yes they should have communicated better but without actually being closer to this couple, it is an unthoughtful comment to suggest the DH is having an affair. Although on the Dis, it is a pretty common response from some posters whenever a wife psots about a problem with a husband.

My dh is pretty much always looking to do a family type thing on the weekends, so I just don't grasp this guy blowing it off.

I certainly wouldn't blow it off as "men are clueless". I'm more inclined that OP needs to be more specific with her expectations or he just didn't want to do a family day. I don't believe he's some kind of idiot that got lost in a haze of hair cut hunting.

OP, it's important to have a face to face discussion about stuff with some couples (me & dh included!), if you speak "generally" you can be sure of one thing, in general you will be disappointed.

DH and I have to be very specific, and I like to include reminders, so we make sure we are clearly communicating to each other.

I'd like to think it's all HIS fault , but I really think that sometimes I suppose he can read my mind and I'm not as clear as I believe I am.

 

[Robinrs]

Wait, has no one brought up hidden disability? I mean, it is the only logical answer other than an affair. The guy probably just wanted a nice stress-free day with his friend on his one day off. Nothing more. Everything isn't a conspiracy, even on the DIS.

FWIW the barber I go to now is open on Monday and closed on Sunday but the one I went to when I lived in FL was open on Sunday and closed on Monday. There is no single set rule for every barber on the face of the Earth.

Yes, but this is the DIS, where the woman is always right, even when she is wrong. I noticed that it only took a couple of replies before someone was hinting at an affair.

The barber that we use for DS is open 7 days a week (chain), the one for DD and DW is open M-F (and pretty much keeps bankers hours), and DW cuts my hair, since I just need a buzz cut every few weeks.

Anyway, I was going to reply earlier, but I just could not think of a way to bring hidden disabilities or refillable mugs into it, so I stayed out.

Oh yea, he must be cheating.

Some of you are incredible!

Well a previous poster did say "men are clueless."

Yes they should have communicated better but without actually being closer to this couple, it is an unthoughtful comment to suggest the DH is having an affair. Although on the Dis, it is a pretty common response from some posters whenever a wife psots about a problem with a husband.

Beats me, I don't know the OP or her relationship with her husband. It could be that "family day" means do what I want and it doesn't matter what you want so I won't even ask for your input. It could be that the OP is overbearing and the husband just wanted to get the heck out of the house for a little bit. It could be that she was vague and the husband just didn't pick up on the hint. Or it could be that he is clueless and/or inconsiderate.

Without knowing them or the other side of the story it is hard to come to any conclusion but I am confident that there isn't nearly enough in the OP to make me even consider an affair.

So good to hear from the guys on the board. This place is incredible.

 

[kamik86]

I would be very upset with my husband if he did that to me.

I do understanding wanting time to himself to just unwind. My DH has gotten a bit annoyed at me when I made an off-hand comment about being glad to have the house to myself. What he doesn't understand that with work and grad school that I'm so busy and since grad school is online I really need that time that he isn't home sometimes to get stuff done. He does get upset with me for not wanting to go shopping with him or something on my days off, but they aren't really completely days off for me, they are days to do schoolwork.

 

[declansdad]

So good to hear from the "guys" on the board. This place is incredible.

"guys"??

 

[FireDancer]

So good to hear from the "guys" on the board. This place is incredible.

I'm not sure what the quotes were for. Did Chaz Bono chime in?

 

[threeboysmom]

Sorry, but I'd be mad too. It's my only day off in a long time, and DH goes off with a so-called friend to get a so-called haircut TOGETHER??! What guy here on the DIS would wait 90 FREAKING MINUTES to get his hair cut?

And to top it off, the haircut obviously wasn't even important to him because he came home without it even after all that time waiting. And more importantly, family time was obviously not important. It's not like she's home every Sunday. This was a rare day off. He sees his "friend" every single weekend!

If it were me, I'd be getting the name of the barber shop and giving them a quick phone call.

 

[goofyintoronto]

Beats me, I don't know the OP or her relationship with her husband. It could be that "family day" means do what I want and it doesn't matter what you want so I won't even ask for your input. It could be that the OP is overbearing and the husband just wanted to get the heck out of the house for a little bit. It could be that she was vague and the husband just didn't pick up on the hint. Or it could be that he is clueless and/or inconsiderate.

Without knowing them or the other side of the story it is hard to come to any conclusion but I am confident that there isn't nearly enough in the OP to make me even consider an affair.

Very wise man. I totally agree again. Its true, its quite difficult to offer any advise or come to any conclusion unless we hear both sides of the story. It is pretty amusing that some ppl are waving red flags already and assuming an affair. But then again, this is Dis.

 

[punkin]

I don't think most men are clueless. I really would rather no have anything to do with the ones who are.

 

[Metsfan520]

My dh is pretty much always looking to do a family type thing on the weekends, so I just don't grasp this guy blowing it off.

I certainly wouldn't blow it off as "men are clueless". I'm more inclined that OP needs to be more specific with her expectations or he just didn't want to do a family day. I don't believe he's some kind of idiot that got lost in a haze of hair cut hunting.

OP, it's important to have a face to face discussion about stuff with some couples (me & dh included!), if you speak "generally" you can be sure of one thing, in general you will be disappointed.

DH and I have to be very specific, and I like to include reminders, so we make sure we are clearly communicating to each other.

I'd like to think it's all HIS fault , but I really think that sometimes I suppose he can read my mind and I'm not as clear as I believe I am.

I get that, I truly do. My father, brothers & brothers-in-law do everything they can to have family time. But not everyone is like that.

The rest of your points are totally valid. I've learned that with some family members you can be vague & they get you. Others, not so much. As you said, communication & specifics are key.

 

[PaulaSB12]

So good to hear from the "guys" on the board. This place is incredible.

Its not only the guys who agree with you. I think the most pertinant phrase was she told him she how she wanted to spend time on sunday not asked. Women seem to want men to be their best female friends and they will never be that. Yes men do think and act differently to women (good job with the he is out of you sight he must be cheeting brigade!) next time the op wants to spend the weekend day with husband discuss it ask what they can do not just tell him and expect him to behave like a lap dog.

 

[Robinrs]

"guys"??

Declans DAD is not a guy?

 

[crashbb]

Declans DAD is not a guy?

The issue is your use of quotes around the word guy. It implies that they aren't really guys.

 

[FireDancer]

Its not only the guys who agree with you. I think the most pertinant phrase was she told him she how she wanted to spend time on sunday not asked. Women seem to want men to be their best female friends and they will never be that. Yes men do think and act differently to women (good job with the he is out of you sight he must be cheeting brigade!) next time the op wants to spend the weekend day with husband discuss it ask what they can do not just tell him and expect him to behave like a lap dog.

I do have to give the Community Board credit though. At least no one suggested he was hanging out in bathrooms just waiting for some unsupervised 8 year old to wonder in. What was his mother thinking sending him into the pit all alone?

 

[SAHDad]

The issue is your use of quotes around the word guy. It implies that they aren't really guys.

I didn't take it that way. It seemed condescending, but I couldn't decide if "guys" meant that we weren't real men, or that we were some form of low-life male, normally called named unfit for family audiences.