Should I not be upset?

[Bob NC]

If it were me, I'd be getting the name of the barber shop and giving them a quick phone call.

OMG, what in the world would you say?

 

[SaraJayne]

If it were me, I'd be getting the name of the barber shop and giving them a quick phone call.

Please tell me you're joking? And what exactly would you say, without making yourself sound like a total shrew?

 

[YodaGirl]

I still stand by my comment that I think something fishy is going on.

For another male opinion, my husband thinks so, too.

 

[YodaGirl]

Please tell me you're joking? And what exactly would you say, without making yourself sound like a total shrew?

How about...

"Hi. I was wondering if you could tell me your hours of operation. Thanks!"

That would let the OP know if it was even possible for him to have gotten his haircut on a Sunday.

 

[Bob NC]

How about...

"Hi. I was wondering if you could tell me your hours of operation. Thanks!"

That would let the OP know if it was even possible for him to have gotten his haircut on a Sunday.

If the whole problem here is the hours of operation of the barber shop......Then the hours of operation of the barber shop is the least of the problems in this marriage.

 

[disykat]

Sorry, joining the "something's wrong here" group.

I don't care whether it's male/female, whatever. If someone hasn't spent time with their spouse in several weeks and lets them know they will be available and want to spend time together, but spouse blows them off to go hang out with a friend they see regularly --- something's wrong.

Saying men are idiots and need to be told is a big cop out. Personally, I find that notion way more insulting than saying the man is sending a clear message about where his priorities lay.

 

[LIDisneyFan]

Everyone has their own idea of family day.

The OPS dh thiunks it's going to the barber shop in the AM
The OP thinks it's lugging around her father's furniture.

Yeah-Must be an affair. I would be hanging out with my friends as well.

 

[declansdad]

Declans DAD is not a guy?

Yes I'm a guy but using "" implies that you are being sarcastic.

 

[SaraJayne]

Everyone has their own idea of family day.

The OPS dh thiunks it's going to the barber shop in the AM
The OP thinks it's lugging around her father's furniture.

Yeah-Must be an affair. I would be hanging out with my friends as well.

To be fair to the OP, she is not the one that suggested he is having an affair. That wild leap was suggested by many of the posters in this thread.

 

[declansdad]

Sorry, joining the "something's wrong here" group.

Well as long as we are making assumptions about what's going on, I'll throw it out there - brokeback mountain.

 

[threeboysmom]

OMG, what in the world would you say?

I'd want to know right off the bat if they are open on Sundays. Around here, salons and barber shops are not usually open on that day.

If that question passes the test, I'd want to know if 90 min.+ waits are normal at that place.

If his story about getting a haircut turns out to be true (which I REALLY don't think it is... which is why I'd double check on the basics), she could at least dismiss the idea of an affair and then try to find out what it is about her that causes DH to not want to spend any time with her. Hopefully he can be honest without fear of judgment or anger... and OP can see if there are things in her attitude/personality that can be changed so that he does want to spend time with her.

 

[ccgirl]

I am surprised to hear some of the opinions here. Are there women who would really call the barber to check up on their DH? How would you feel if your DH called your salon to make sure you were really there? I guess that's why my DH says he's so lucky to have me that I don't smother him. As far as the Sunday with the cousin thing....I read it as the DH was there too. It was his mom and brother and they liked to spend Sunday together. What's wrong with that? I'm thrilled when my DH does something like that rather than keeping my children in the house with nothing to do. My children absolutely adore their cousins and pester me every other day to see them.

I also didn't read it as they never have family time. I read it as they rarely have Sunday's together but they have other nights of the week that they can spend time together. OP, am I right?

I still wonder if OP asked her DH what he wanted to do before making plans for him.

 

[SaraJayne]

I'd want to know right off the bat if they are open on Sundays. Around here, salons and barber shops are not usually open on that day.

If that question passes the test, I'd want to know if 90 min.+ waits are normal at that place.

If his story about getting a haircut turns out to be true (which I REALLY don't think it is... which is why I'd double check on the basics), she could at least dismiss the idea of an affair and then try to find out what it is about her that causes DH to not want to spend any time with her. Hopefully he can be honest without fear of judgment or anger... and OP can see if there are things in her attitude/personality that can be changed so that he does want to spend time with her.

The barber was not there when the DH and his friend arrived. THAT is why they waited.

Good lord, no wonder the divorce rate is so high in this country.

 

[LIDisneyFan]

To be fair to the OP, she is not the one that suggested he is having an affair. That wild leap was suggested by many of the posters in this thread.

I agree - sorry if it didn't come out that way

My point was that the OP was upset because dh was doing something other than family stuff on family day, and her plans were pretty much the same.

btw-how many posts was it from haircut to affair this time?

 

[declansdad]

I'd want to know right off the bat if they are open on Sundays. Around here, salons and barber shops are not usually open on that day.

If that question passes the test, I'd want to know if 90 min.+ waits are normal at that place.

If his story about getting a haircut turns out to be true (which I REALLY don't think it is... which is why I'd double check on the basics), she could at least dismiss the idea of an affair and then try to find out what it is about her that causes DH to not want to spend any time with her. Hopefully he can be honest without fear of judgment or anger... and OP can see if there are things in her attitude/personality that can be changed so that he does want to spend time with her.

Why not just have the conversation with your husband instead of checking up on him and then confronting him with it? Nothing like putting someone on the defensive frmo the get go.

 

[LIDisneyFan]

Well as long as we are making assumptions about what's going on, I'll throw it out there - brokeback mountain.

 

[FireDancer]

The day I distrust someone I'm in a relationship with so much that I call to check on their whereabouts is the day I know it is time to get out of the relationship.

 

[FireDancer]

Why not just have the conversation with your husband instead of checking up on him and then confronting him with it? Nothing like putting someone on the defensive frmo the get go.

Wait, so you are saying that if, perhaps, one would communicate with their spouse they might avoid situations that very well could have been caused by a miscommunication?

 

[ccgirl]

The day I distrust someone I'm in a relationship so much that I call to check on their whereabouts is the day I know it is time to get out of the relationship.

This. Exactly. I have actually had to wait that long to take my son to the barber's. Especially on Sunday's since it's such a popular day to get your hair cut (as long as the Patriot's aren't on).

Guys do like hanging out together too. When my DH is at a Patriots game he leaves at 10am for a 4pm game. Doesn't get home until 9pm or so. I never once thought to call to make sure he was really where he was "supposed" to be. I really just don't understand that concept. I know better than to make any kind of plans on Patriot game days though.

Again, if I didn't lay out specific plans, not just a general, I would like to spend some family time together on Sunday.....IMHO, I really have no right being upset if he did something else in the morning.

 

[SaraJayne]

I agree - sorry if it didn't come out that way

My point was that the OP was upset because dh was doing something other than family stuff on family day, and her plans were pretty much the same.

btw-how many posts was it from haircut to affair this time?

The very first post after the OP.