Should I cancel?

[Aurora410]

I am so sorry about the loss of your Mom.

I think you should go to WDW. This isnt the same but 8 years ago my best friend died suddenly and for months I was basically a walking zombie. I was so depressed. My parents decided that the family should go to WDW because they knew I loved it and it would be fun to take my sister and I as adults. WDW was the first time I actually smiled and laughed in 10 months. I really felt I was able to live again.

Maybe you could visit her favorite places in WDW and celebrate her life. Share Disney with your DD they way she shared it with you.

 

[RMulieri]

There are various stages of grief, and people move thru them at a different pace and some people have a harder time than others.It is ok to be sad I think once you are on the medication you will start to feel better, but could probably use a therapist to help you along the way.I say keep your trip for now.The 45 day mark is not here yet, and you may feel a little better in a few weeks.I Am so sorry for your loss.You WILL get thru this.

 

[luvthemouse71]

My wife is a psych nurse and one thing to do is to always talk to your doc about what meds are working. There are a lot of antidepressants out there and it may take awhile to find one that is right for you. What may be working this time, may not work 3 months from now. It could be a combination of meds is what you need. Just keep working with your docs so they can get you on the correct meds.

Good advice, also some of these anti-depressants also take a good few weeks to kick in completely.

OP, I'm sorry about your loss . I also agree with those that say that your doctor and your husband may be right as far as going on the trip. If it means you sit by the pool sometimes and just decompress then it's still a valuable trip. I hope things get better for you.

 

[MikiDisney]

I am so very sorry for your loss.

Go, I think a good dose of Disney Magic will do you good. Sometimes just a change of scenery can shine a little light into what seems to be a very dark place. I think you might be a little suprised at how easy it might be to put a smile on your face when you are in a place that was special to your mom. Memories......are good things.
Best of Luck

 

[SnackyStacky]

My grandmother just died and my wife said something that struck me, which I heard on Dr. Phil a few weeks later. Mourning is one thing - but when it overtakes you, you've completely skipped celebration of the life.

Not to mention - think about what your mom would want. Just based on what you've told us of your mother, cancelling a trip to Walt Disney World is NOT what she would have wanted for you to do. It sounds to me like she would have wanted for you to go and enjoy yourselves.

Go, and remember the wonderful time you had with your mother when you all went. And know that she'll be there with you, just in a completely different way.

 

[tinkerbellmagic]

I say keep your trip for now. The 45 day mark is not here yet, and you may feel a little better in a few weeks.

I think this is great advice. Don't rush into making any snap decisions at this time. Maybe you will get used to the idea of going bit by bit the closer it gets. Maybe you will know in your heart the closer it gets to the 45 day mark whether you should go or not. Many times a change of scenery does us good.

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom about 10 years ago. I had one trip to WDW with my parents in the 80s when I was already grown. I cherish that trip.

Now, when I go to WDW, I still think of them every time I enter Epcot, (especially when riding Spaceship Earth, our first Disney ride together) and on various other rides.

I also remember seeing the Electrical Light parade with my parents in the 80s. Then, in 1999, DD and I were in MK sitting on a fence in Frontier Land waiting for a parade to start (I had no idea which parade it was) and on a fluke, it was the Electrical Light parade (which had long moved to DL but was back, I believe, for a short stint at WDW). I was surprised beyond belief and of course the water works started. Luckily, it was dark, lol. I said to myself, here I am now, enjoying this wonderful parade with my DD11, who was rolling her eyes at her mom (trying to hide the tears streaming down my face). It was so special though.

One day you will cry happy tears too, happy for the wonderful times you shared with your terrific mom in WDW.

You will never forget your mom. I think of my mom every day, but it will get easier to handle. It really will. Your mom would want you to be happy. Take care, tink

 

[lam712]

I am sorry for your loss. I had several trips with my parents and brother and his family to WDW, once when I was still at home and several times after my children were born. My mom was ill with cancer but was doing great in 2000 as we planned a family trip to WDW. Our trip was planned for October. In early August, we stayed a few nights in Cincinnati and we went to a local theme park, zoo and conservatory. Mom was weak from chemo but had a blast riding a scooter around the theme park. She was so excited about the upcoming trip to WDW. In late August, she took a turn for the worse and became seriously ill with fluid in her lungs. She died Sept. 4th. My heart was broken but before she died she told me she would "kick my rear" if I didn't take her grandkids to WDW if she wasn't able to go with us. So, we went in October and while many things made me sad, many things made me feel closer to my mom-thinking of all the memories I had of her there and the restaurants, the Disney "smells", etc. It was a very bittersweet trip for me but I think the trip was the only thing that kept me from totally sinking into a deep depression from the loss of my best friend.
Only you can decide what is best for you, but perhaps you too will find comfort in being in a place your mother loved.
Take care.

 

[billnang]

I am sorry for your loss, but I think you need to get away. It may be hard, but celebrate your moms life.

I have a similar question...
Last Sept, our family went and my FIL joined us... he lived in FL and was in and out of the hospital...my DH spoke to him daily and he was so excited to see our kids whom he only saw in the summer seeing we lived in NY. Upon his arrival we found him in horrible shape and more ill then he ever let on to us. We stayed at the Poly and out trip was not very enjoyable because of his health. It was sad for us and our kids to see him like he was. He left the trip a day early and checked himself back in to the hospital, and passed away 2 weeks later. My question is, do you think going back to the Poly iks going to bring back hard memories for my DH and children?

Any feedback welcome.
Angela

 

[moonpie85]

Sweetie I'm so sorry for your loss.

I have often wondered about how hard it will be to go back to the world after someone I love has passed and I had shared a disney vacation with them. Personally, if I were you I would cancel and go next year. It hasn't been very long since you lost your mom and it may be too hard to go at this time.

But not everyone works the same way, some would embrace this vacation as a way of moving on. Whatever you choose know that your mom will be looking down from above with a smile on her face when she see's you back at one of her favorite places in the world.

 

[Luv2Roam]

I lost my mother too not long ago, so certainly can share the feeling of loss with you.
Truthfully I think if your mother was around and in good health she would tell you to enjoy yourself as you and your family need and deserve it. (Whether it was WDW you were debating about going to or not.)
I know after I pass I do not want anyone to mope around for me. Life is too short and can be too hard for that.

Approx a year and half a go a friend of ours lost her mother too and it hit her especially hard for various reasons.
Her first trip to WDW w/o her mother was very hard and she did not enjoy it as much. They had been coming for decades and there were just memories everywhere. But I really think it was good for her to get away.
She is much better now.
Time does heal.

 

[IWISHFORDISNEY]

I think you should go. My mom actually was dying when we were in Disney and I made it home just in time before she passed away. The doctor assured us we should go and we were only there a few days before she coded and was barely hanging on. I was worried about returning to Disney because of the memories but she would not have wanted me to skip out on somthing I enjoyed so much. Matter of fact the trip we were on was an anniversary gift to us when she eventually passed. I just cant stay back at CSR because of the "phone call memories" but I smile when I am there and think of all the things she is watching us experience with our child from heaven. I think it would be great therapy. It was for me at least. ((HUG))) Hang in there it will get easier eventually.

 

[Freyja]

I´m so sorry for your loss.
I can relate to your feelings in so many ways. My parents had taken me and my siblings to WDW as kids and my mom had always told my 2 oldest children she would invite them to WDW as well someday. We had talked about going in 2003. However, my mom suddenly died in July of 2002.
We decided to honor her memory by taking our kids to WDW in 2003, as my mom had discussed doing.
Needless to say it was a very emotional trip for me but I´m so glad we went. It brought back so many happy memories of the times I spent at Disney with my mom and I was so happy to know that I was giving my kids the same kind of amazing memories.
We´ve been to Disney 3 times since and will be going back this year. I think of my mom each and every day, both at home and at WDW. She´s with me everywhere I go and I´m sure your mom is with you whereever you go.

I say, go ahead. Remember your mom at WDW. Cry a little when you need to, smile a little when you want to and laugh a lot with your family knowing your mom is with you all, in your hearts as well as spirits.

 

[Corinne]

So sorry for your loss. I am glad you have seen a doctor and I bet by the time the trip comes around you will be a new woman. It sounds like your mom was a wonderful lady and would want you to go to WDW....please know you will be in my prayers!

 

[dddisrunner]

You sound like a very loving, caring and selfless daughter. While your loss is overwhelming, what better place to celebrate your moms life then Disney, a place you were able to enjoy together! This trip will be different, but that's OK, don't worry about the cost,see it as wonderful opportunity to tell and show your daughter where her mom and grandmother made very special memories together. Go, you deserve a distraction from your grief. Maybe the trip will provide just enough magic to help you begin to feel better!

 

[seeking pixie dust]

I'm sorry for your loss and sorry for all that you are going through. Dealing with a loss, or depression is very difficult. I encourage you to seek more medical help - antidepressants work better when combined with clinical counseling (believe me, I've been there). Take the time to meet with a counselor or psychologist and they can help you work through these tough times. Maybe they will be able to help you enjoy Disney and other things you've let go.

What you are going through is completely normal and I wish you the best dealing with it all. If you choose not to seek counseling, journaling in a diary is helpful, too.

 

[kaysmommie]

So sorry for your loss . Sounds like you and your mom were close and there is nothing harder than losing a loved one. I still think you should go and try to enjoy yourself. Maybe a just a change of scenary will do you some good. I know there might be some sad moments but please try to remember the good times with your mom. She was a lucky lady to have a daughter like you. I think you have lots of great suggestions in the previous posts. Hope things get easier for you.

 

[julm26]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom. I lost my beloved mother 3 months ago on Feb. 18, 2008. The pain of her loss is very devastating to me. It is very hard to want to have happy times when you miss someone so much.

Just a few weeks ago, my DH DD3 and I went to Niagara Falls, Canada. We go every year, but this year I just was SAD - the last time we went we took mom with us - and so this year all I could think about was her not being there. I actually cried in a pizza shop cause we had been there with mom. It was a sad trip but I did find some happy times, remembering how much mom enjoyed it there.

WE will be heading to the world in September and I think it will be a healing experience - magic is there, right. I'm sure I will have some sad moments but i'm hoping that I can heal a little there.

I think you should go - lean on your husband and let him take care of you. Grief is a hard thing and I've been told I'll never truly get over losing my mom but that it will begin to get a little easier to manage that grief. I'm an only child and mom raised me herself - sometimes I feel like an orphan - but I know mom would want me to go on.

Go to Disney - regain some of that magic back into your life - remember our moms will always be in our hearts forever....

God Bless you on your journey

 

[CinderellyCinderelly]

I am so sorry to hear about your loss.

I think you should DEFINITELY go on your trip. For two reasons.

1) You found her pass from when she was there. Maybe it was a sign from her (if you believe in that kind of stuff. I do for sure!) that she wanted you to go!

2) We lost my aunt (dad's sister) this year the morning we were supposed to leave for our WDW trip. It was hard, but my dad decided that my aunt would have wanted us to go because she would most definitely would not have wanted us sitting around grieving all week until her service. We ended up going and it was hard, but our first night we were seated at a window table in Ohana (which means family, as you probably know!) and were there right in time for Wishes! it was SO magical I swear it was a sign from her, I know it.

Many people on this board were very supportive of me at the time and I thank them so much for that, they often said that this was the best time for Disney magic and pixie dust, when you really really need it.

I hope you decide to go on your trip and keep your mother with you in spirit during your vacation, and you will have an amazing time!

 

[CinderellyCinderelly]

I am sorry for your loss, but I think you need to get away. It may be hard, but celebrate your moms life.

I have a similar question...
Last Sept, our family went and my FIL joined us... he lived in FL and was in and out of the hospital...my DH spoke to him daily and he was so excited to see our kids whom he only saw in the summer seeing we lived in NY. Upon his arrival we found him in horrible shape and more ill then he ever let on to us. We stayed at the Poly and out trip was not very enjoyable because of his health. It was sad for us and our kids to see him like he was. He left the trip a day early and checked himself back in to the hospital, and passed away 2 weeks later. My question is, do you think going back to the Poly iks going to bring back hard memories for my DH and children?

Any feedback welcome.
Angela

So sorry to hear about your loss.

I think it would. This does not relate AT ALL, but if I feel this way about something SO little in comparison than maybe it would be best to stay elsewhere...

I got sick on a trip to the YC and stayed in bed all week vomiting! Just THINKING about those bedspreads and the bathrooms (LOL!) makes me sick to my stomach and I don't think I could ever stay there again until they re-decorate!

 

[PilotWife]

I am sorry for your loss, but I think that you should go....My best friend lost her husband less than a year ago and at Christmas, she was given the opportunity to take her children (7 and 5) to Disneyland. She felt much the way you are describing BUT she gathered all her strength to go, and actually had a wonderful special time with her children. I wish you the best and strength to get thru this hard time!

Jennifer