Shocked at kid's behaviour...

[hannahdrewmom]

I see a lot of "helpful advice" from parents of older kids, and I'm thinking they might be forgetting what its like to be in the trenches with a toddler or preschooler. Hindsight is always 20/20.

EXACTLY! From reading this thread I'm hearing... don't stay in line with a crying child (ok got it no problem), but don't put them in a stroller and wheel them through the park. I guess my question is where exactly am I supposed to calm them down? I can see it now... "Sweetheart you need to not cry until we get to the parking lot. Then you may continue your epic meltdown!"

The bottom line is that many little kids have meltdowns. ESPECIALLY in WDW. The stimulation, heat, and exhaustion are enough to make adults get slightly cranky so why then would we expect the sweet cherubs that have limited language and reasoning skills not to have problems! It only takes something small to set them off when they are in that frame of mind. Those of you with older kids probably still have that problem although less frequently and can REASON with your children. Those of us with toddlers have very little we can reason with or threaten them with. Removing them from a situation is the best we can do for them. So why are you looking down on people that put them in a stroller and get out of dodge.

When my 2 year old is tired and cranky and hits meltdown frame of mind there are no words that I can use to calm him. Chances are that before I get his in the stroller and get from Dumbo to the castle he'll be asleep... but he'll be a loud little booger in the meantime!

 

[livndisney]

This is why I will never judge other parents, and always give them the benefit of the doubt. I think we are all trying to be the best we can, unfortunately our best days don't all coincide.

Mo- don't worry about! You were doing what is best for your child and dealing with the situation to the best of your ability. God forbid you took your child back to the hotel and they cried there, you might have been disrupting other guest's nap time.

I see a lot of "helpful advice" from parents of older kids, and I'm thinking they might be forgetting what its like to be in the trenches with a toddler or preschooler. Hindsight is always 20/20.

I disagree, I think some of the "new" moms forget it is not always about them and their child. Other people have a right to enjoy WDW as well.

I will also disagree that all parents are "trying to be the best we can", if that were the case, we would see better behaved children. Bad behavior doesn't come from a parent having an off day. Most bad behavior comes from children not having rules. (Or not having the rules enforced).

 

[livndisney]

Personally, little kids having meltdowns don't bother me...been there, done that (1st time I went to WDW with my own child, I didn't even think about how over-stimulated, over-tired my DD3 might be...my heartfelt apologies to anyone who witnessed my DD's "performance" in the Snow White line in Sept '05).

Large groups of teens running, using foul language, etc...I will open my big mouth and tell them to knock it off, especially if there are younger kids around.

I will say though, most times I've experienced problems at WDW, it's the adults who are the issue. Lots of line-cutters either working the system or pretending not to know what's going on...

Yes of course

But one piece of advice from one parent to another if I may...esp if you are a first time parent...never assume that since your child was ok with something one year (like sleeping in a stroller) that they will be ok the next. I find that my children are constantly changing and evolving and just when I think I have them figured out they throw me a curve ball. DS8 has been on Haunted Mansion a million times since he was 4. This Dec he was terrified and would not go on.

once again

But I do have to say in all my experiences with kids, I have never seen one where ignoring the tantrum helps (not you Mo, another poster!) If I saw you pushing them in a stroller I would assume you were removing them to a quiet, maybe less stimualting, even cooler environment. It is the parents, and yes they exist in WDW and Target and at the mall etc, who allow their children to misbehave or have complete meltdowns, and do absolutely nothing, those parents are in the wrong.

I also said if you read what I wrote that if you were wheeling the child to another location to work on the issue, which is what you typed, than that is great. If you continue to stand there say in a line or other crowded location, while the child tries to work it out AND YOU(GENERAL) are doing nothing then you are disruptive to the whole area and to me that is unacceptable. What would they do in the classroom if this child had his meltdown, would they not move him to a quieter location attempt to talk to him and then yes let him work through his being upset, mad or overstimulated. Why would a parent not do the same.

If you allow him/her to throw themselves down in the middle of Target to work on said meltdown, therefore disrupting shoppers you are wrong as a parent. If you allow a child to continue to kick someone's chair or misbehave after one time or at least when you notice it then you are wrong. If you are actively working on the situation and trying to regain control, then I think most parents would be giving you that knowing been there done that look. My guys have melted down, but we react, and yes I am a huge proponent of doing your best to avoid them in the first place. If your child falls asleep in the stroller, cool beans, have the family continue on with their fun. But if daily your child is not doing that, you may need to adjust, or if you know said child wont do that, then why try it in the first place.

Maybe you havent but I have seen parents like those described, they do absolutely nothing to remove the child. Last year we were at a Little League Game, and a little girl had a fit bc she could not get ice cream and she was not allowed to climb on the bleachers, it was crowded with all of us sitting there. She was hot and bored. So next to bleachers where we were all seated and not to far from the field, the parent allowed this child to have a screaming tantrum/meltdown. Instead of picking child up and either taking her to a car or another location away from the fans and players, they actually walked away closer to the field so they could watch there son while they allowed her to disrupt the people watching the game, and the players on the field. To me that is wrong.


I guess I am the bad guy on this thread and everyone is misinterpreting what I am writing. The only thing I am saying is dont ignore your child's behavior, whether it is bc they are overtired, overstimulated, or plain old misbehaving (and yes my kids have fallen into those categories at some time in their lives), you dont live in a bubble esp in a public place, you need to respect those around you. Do your best as parents to avoid said meltdowns by either sticking to a routine or having a Plan B. If said meltdown/misbehaving etc happens, react. It is your job as a parent to have fun with your child and provide this awesome experience such as WDW but not at the expense of other vactioners enjoyment. Plain and simple.

EXACTLY! From reading this thread I'm hearing... don't stay in line with a crying child (ok got it no problem), but don't put them in a stroller and wheel them through the park. I guess my question is where exactly am I supposed to calm them down? I can see it now... "Sweetheart you need to not cry until we get to the parking lot. Then you may continue your epic meltdown!"

The bottom line is that many little kids have meltdowns. ESPECIALLY in WDW. The stimulation, heat, and exhaustion are enough to make adults get slightly cranky so why then would we expect the sweet cherubs that have limited language and reasoning skills not to have problems! It only takes something small to set them off when they are in that frame of mind. Those of you with older kids probably still have that problem although less frequently and can REASON with your children. Those of us with toddlers have very little we can reason with or threaten them with. Removing them from a situation is the best we can do for them. So why are you looking down on people that put them in a stroller and get out of dodge.

When my 2 year old is tired and cranky and hits meltdown frame of mind there are no words that I can use to calm him. Chances are that before I get his in the stroller and get from Dumbo to the castle he'll be asleep... but he'll be a loud little booger in the meantime!

I guess we must be reading two different threads.

 

[PrincessMom4]

Now what about the cases where the parents have kids that have autism?? These kids "look" like they are misbehaving. Older children having meltdowns and it can happen at any time.

 

[Hannathy]

When my 2 year old is tired and cranky and hits meltdown frame of mind there are no words that I can use to calm him. Chances are that before I get his in the stroller and get from Dumbo to the castle he'll be asleep... but he'll be a loud little booger in the meantime!

You leave before they get into the cranky frame of mind.
You leave before they can scream for 10 minutes.

 

[ScotsMinnie]

I disagree, I think some of the "new" moms forget it is not always about them and their child. Other people have a right to enjoy WDW as well.

Equally for those who want to tour WDW without hearing a child cry its not all about them either. EVERYONE has the right to enjoy WDW and everyone will inevitably find something that annoys them whilst they are there. (Tour groups, line cutting, loud teenagers, etc) Parents of children who sometimes have a meltdown are just as entitled to enjoy their time there as those who don't. They deal with what their child throws their way in a way that suits that child and that family.

If you can't go to WDW and enjoy yourself despite the "annoyances" of some other people then you are perhaps choosing the wrong holiday destination.

There are lots of examples on here as to why a child might be crying and how parents are dealing with it, so instead of being annoyed why not throw that Mum a nice reassuring smile. Isn't that what Disney should be about? Just a thought.....

 

[ScotsMinnie]

You leave before they get into the cranky frame of mind.
You leave before they can scream for 10 minutes.

Why should she leave though? She is as entitled to be in that park - crying child or not as you are. She knows his behaviours and her child will be sleeping soon after being in the buggy.

Why are you suggesting that she leave because of a few minutes of crying? That just seems so intolerant of others.

 

[Mkrop]

Why should she leave though? She is as entitled to be in that park - crying child or not as you are. She knows his behaviours and her child will be sleeping soon after being in the buggy.

Why are you suggesting that she leave because of a few minutes of crying? That just seems so intolerant of others.

Once again a few minutes is no big deal. A parent working with the child, and moving along even if child is crying, is ok. To just stand there and ignore the disruption, is rude!

So in your theory I am just entitled to do as I please in the park despite it bothering others. So it would not bother you if I stood right next to you in line, or sat at the table next to you or sat down at Finding Nemo and sang a melody of Lady Gaga hits.

Like I mentioned before, there was a thread about a child coughing during the Nemo show bc of asthma. Maybe the child would stop, maybe not. But if you cant get it under control in a quick manor, you owe it to the child and those around you to remove yourself from the show. It is rude not to. Kids cough, kids have asthma attacks, it still does not entitle you to stay put.

And yes I did remove my child from the Sci Fi when he had a coughing asthma attack bc he was disturbing all the other diners. And he was getting himself worked up bc he could not stop and did not like being looked at. He even got worked up on the bus back to the hotel when people were looking at him. I told him to do his inhaler, he was embarrassed. But we were actively working to control the cough (even though like crying it was out of our control) Unfortunately his coughing did not subside until we got back to the hotel and out of the smoke(wildfires in GA) for awhile. But neither him nor myself were ENTITLED to stay in that park if his coughing was going to be disruptive to others.

 

[Rylee]

So in your theory I am just entitled to do as I please in the park despite it bothering others. So it would not bother you if I stood right next to you in line, or sat at the table next to you or sat down at Finding Nemo and sang a melody of Lady Gaga hits.

I like some of her songs. Can you sing?

 

[Mkrop]

I like some of her songs. Can you sing?

No! That is what would make it all the more special. Like nails on a chalkboard! Just like some sweet kids having a meltdown!

 

[ScotsMinnie]

The poster stated that by the time she got from dumbo to the castle hecwas asleep. That can only be a few minutes and yet the poster suggested she leave.



We may not like some of the behaviours we see at the parks however unless people are breaking rules then they are just as entitled to be there as you are. An adult singing lady gaga during a show is not comparable to a child having a cry. You chose to take your son out. Some choose other things which suit them. Both are right as they suit the child and situation.

 

[Mkrop]

The poster stated that by the time she got from dumbo to the castle hecwas asleep. That can only be a few minutes and yet the poster suggested she leave.



We may not like some of the behaviours we see at the parks however unless people are breaking rules then they are just as entitled to be there as you are. An adult singing lady gaga during a show is not comparable to a child having a cry. You chose to take your son out. Some choose other things which suit them. Both are right as they suit the child and situation.

My singing is in your argument, it is not against any Disney rules.

Once again, crying child is not the problem, it is the child having a meltdown.

Any behavior is considered "right" if it doesnt go against Disney rules, it doesnt mean that is not INCONSIDERATE of others around you. The chanting of tour groups isnt against rules but it is inconsiderate to others.

Yes I choose to remove my son bc he was bothering others enjoyment of the films being shown, it would have been inconsiderate to others if after a brief time of trying to get it under control (giving him his inhaler etc) and not succeeding. Coughing happens just like crying, maybe he would have stopped, maybe not. But once it got to the point where we were infringing others we removed him from the restraunt. To not remove him would have been rude. Taking him back to the hotel to properly deal with it was yes ultimately our choice but I did not think DHS was the proper place to deal with what my child was going through.

 

[livndisney]

Equally for those who want to tour WDW without hearing a child cry its not all about them either. EVERYONE has the right to enjoy WDW and everyone will inevitably find something that annoys them whilst they are there. (Tour groups, line cutting, loud teenagers, etc) Parents of children who sometimes have a meltdown are just as entitled to enjoy their time there as those who don't. They deal with what their child throws their way in a way that suits that child and that family.

If you can't go to WDW and enjoy yourself despite the "annoyances" of some other people then you are perhaps choosing the wrong holiday destination.

There are lots of examples on here as to why a child might be crying and how parents are dealing with it, so instead of being annoyed why not throw that Mum a nice reassuring smile. Isn't that what Disney should be about? Just a thought.....

You stated what I was saying-everyone has the right to enjoy WDW. And if you are dealing with a melt down, good for you! The complaint on this thread that seems to be selectively forgotten is, the "parents" who are not dealing with the meltdown. Ignoring screaming in a show is not "dealing with it".

 

[CandleontheWater]

I don't think you should have felt pressure left Sci-Fi because your son was coughing. It is a seriously loud restaurant to begin with, I doubt that you were really disturbing other guests. If you left because your son needed to rest because of his medical condition or needed to get additional meds thats one thing, but coughing in a restaurant should be within the realm of acceptable behavior. What if you were just sick, should you cancel your Disney vacation because you might have a coughing fit in a show or restaurant.

I understand not wanting to make a nuisance of yourself and not wanting to ruin other people's vacations, but screaming outside of hotel rooms at 1 am and defacing Disney property is one thing, kids having meltdowns and coughing due to asthma is quite another.

 

[livndisney]

If you can't go to WDW and enjoy yourself despite the "annoyances" of some other people then you are perhaps choosing the wrong holiday destination.

And since you seemed to have directed this comment to me, I have no need to choose a different "holiday destination". I am blessed to be able to visit WDW as often as I choose. If, as you claim I were "annoyed by other people" I doubt I would live in where I do. I do find it somewhat "annoying" when parents choose to ignore little Timmy while he screams through the Lion King. Common sense would suggest a parent would remove the child so as not to disturb the hundreds of other people who are trying to watch the show. I also find it "annoying" when they try to make excuses or justify their behavior.

 

[Mkrop]

I don't think you should have felt pressure left Sci-Fi because your son was coughing. It is a seriously loud restaurant to begin with, I doubt that you were really disturbing other guests. If you left because your son needed to rest because of his medical condition or needed to get additional meds thats one thing, but coughing in a restaurant should be within the realm of acceptable behavior. What if you were just sick, should you cancel your Disney vacation because you might have a coughing fit in a show or restaurant.

I understand not wanting to make a nuisance of yourself and not wanting to ruin other people's vacations, but screaming outside of hotel rooms at 1 am and defacing Disney property is one thing, kids having meltdowns and coughing due to asthma is quite another.

Everytime we have been in SciFi it has been super quiet bc everyone is watching the movies. To me it is one of the quietest places to eat. Not like Chef Mickey or Crystal Palace.

I didnt feel pressure I felt it was the considerate thing to do.

Obviously you have never seen this type of attack, it is constant coughing. Sometimes an inhaler helps, that day it did not. It was noticably annoying.

And no you dont need to cancel your trip if you are sick and having an attack, but is polite to remove yourself to a less congested area if you are having a coughing fit that can not be brought under control after a few minutes. I feel bad for the person coughing but if a cough drop or some water (or in our case an inhaler) does not bring it under control, then yes it is considerate to go seek out a bathroom or a less congested area.

Once again I dont want to listen to it, so doing unto others as I would like done unto me, if the behavior is annoying then it is better to do it elsewhere.

 

[2binak]

I think alot of parents don't want to be "mean", especially in what is supposed to be the happiest place on Earth, so they let alot of bad behaviors slide.

For the record, I am NOT that parent. I don't care where we are, tantrums & disrepect (pushing & mistakenly hitting other people while in line included) are not tolerated. DD is usually wonderful in restaurants - talks in a normal tone of voice, doesn't get down & run around, says please & thank you to the staff - but last year, I took her out of WPE because she started to cry because I didn't cut her pizza the right way. She was exhausted and we knew that was why she was really upset, but no way was I going to make everyone else listen to her tantrum and especially not in a restaurant. As soon as she calmed down, I went back inside with her and she quietly & calmly ate her meal.

Kids are generally self-centered. It's up to us as parents to teach them that there's a much bigger world outside of their little selves and the sooner they learn that, they better off they will be and they better people they will be for learning that.

 

[twinboysmom]

You leave before they get into the cranky frame of mind.
You leave before they can scream for 10 minutes.

Sometimes with my boys, one in particular, there are not any warnings a meltdown is coming. He is very temperamental. My mother reports that I was similar. If a toddler or preschooler is having a meltdown at WDW and that bothers you or some of the others on this thread, perhaps WDW is not for you. It is not rude for a child this age to do this. It is rude for you to judge another parent when this happens, especially if they are pushing the child in a stroller. I have struggled for 18 months to schedule my boys. They don't schedule well. They have never been good nappers and sometimes cry before they settle down. I try to remove them from the situation as much as possible. However, to me a parent walking with a crying child in a stroller around the world showcase or through fantasy land has removed there child. If that bothers you an others I don't know what to say. I am an older mother and travelled to WDW for many years without kids. Never did things like that phase me. If anything I felt pity for the parents who I am sure just wanted their child to calm down and rest. I do agree with removing them from restaurants, lines, shows and such. I have always thought most parents did a pretty good job of doing this. As to the poster that complained about young children crying and having meltdowns during a Target or similar store ruining your shopping experience, really? Good grief! We are going May 10-18 with a party of 6 adults and 6 children under 5, including 4 age 2 or younger. Those of you who are bothered by crying children might wish to avoid WDW during this time as I am sure we will have a few meltdowns.

As for older children acting in the manner the OP described, there is noexcuse for it. When my children act in that manner, I hope they don't but I am sure they'll try it at least once, they will be in quite a bit of trouble. Loss of park time, grounding, etc.

 

[Rylee]

The poster stated that by the time she got from dumbo to the castle hecwas asleep. That can only be a few minutes and yet the poster suggested she leave.



We may not like some of the behaviours we see at the parks however unless people are breaking rules then they are just as entitled to be there as you are. An adult singing lady gaga during a show is not comparable to a child having a cry. You chose to take your son out. Some choose other things which suit them. Both are right as they suit the child and situation.

What about common courtesy?

An adult woman singing Lady Gaga songs, (especially one that can't sing) and a crying child, are BOTH interfering with the enjoyment of others trying to watch the show. Whether it's out of INNOCENCE or IGNORANCE doesn't change the impact it has on others.

There is a big difference between walking from Dumbo to the Castle with a screaming child and sitting through a show with a child crying. Would you take a young child to a movie theater or Broadway show and continue to sit there if your child was disruptive? While most can sympathize with an over-tired or frightened child, the reason behind the disruption... tired, scared, sick or having a tantrum, doesn't lessen the disruption for others.

If you child can't behave in a manner that is appropriate for the event, activity, attraction, etc., you need to remove the child as a courtesy to others who are there to enjoy the experience as it was meant to be enjoyed.

Your child = your problem... why should others be forced to deal with child, too?



*And, honestly... if your child continues to cry or act up, I probably will judge your parenting skills because it's fairly obvious that your child has needs that are not being met... your child is tired and needs a nap, your child is hungry and needs to eat, your child is scared and needs comforting, etc. Your child needs your attention!

 

[Dustykins]

As to the poster that complained about young children crying and having meltdowns during a Target or similar store ruining your shopping experience, really? Good grief!

Amen! We're not permissive parents. My kids don't get away with much and they definitely don't get their way by throwing tantrums so they don't happen often, but they still will occasionally. I'll remove them from restaurants, movies, crowded places, etc. but I can't always remove them the second a tantrum happens. Most of the time tantrums at places like Target happen because they don't want to be there and, really, removing them for having a tantrum in those cases is just counter-productive. I don't like bothering other people, but sometimes a couple of minutes of screaming in a non-quiet environment can actually be more considerate of others than removing them immediately because I'm preventing future tantrums.