Shocked at kid's behaviour...

[Mkrop]

Amen! We're not permissive parents. My kids don't get away with much and they definitely don't get their way by throwing tantrums so they don't happen often, but they still will occasionally. I'll remove them from restaurants, movies, crowded places, etc. but I can't always remove them the second a tantrum happens. Most of the time tantrums at places like Target happen because they don't want to be there and, really, removing them for having a tantrum in those cases is just counter-productive. I don't like bothering other people, but sometimes a couple of minutes of screaming in a non-quiet environment can actually be more considerate of others than removing them immediately because I'm preventing future tantrums.

Then dont take them to Target when they are hungry or tired. Take them first thing in the morning or after their nap. It isnt that complicated. Once again we are talking full blown meltdowns where child is screaming and flailing themselves on the floor, and yes that does impede my shopping experience if I cant get down said aisle.

And many go to WDW, it isnt just for children. Yes children are the primary attendees but that does not give them or their parents carte blanche not to be considerate of others.

If you can not schedule your kids, then taking that midday nap if they are still that age might be the best way to tour. Even if they dont sleep, they get a break from the heat and a break from the stimulation, all factors that could cause a meltdown, even if they dont sleep, they still just take sometime to chill, if they fall asleep in their stroller before then and will stay asleep, then great carry on.

 

[spacemountainmom]

Amen! We're not permissive parents. My kids don't get away with much and they definitely don't get their way by throwing tantrums so they don't happen often, but they still will occasionally. I'll remove them from restaurants, movies, crowded places, etc. but I can't always remove them the second a tantrum happens. Most of the time tantrums at places like Target happen because they don't want to be there and, really, removing them for having a tantrum in those cases is just counter-productive. I don't like bothering other people, but sometimes a couple of minutes of screaming in a non-quiet environment can actually be more considerate of others than removing them immediately because I'm preventing future tantrums.

Just keep telling yourself that.

Trust me........NO ONE wants to listen to your kid melt down at Target, the grocery store....etc......It's so much fun in those big box stores with high ceilings to hear kids screaming their lungs out......the cashiers and employees love it too........how many times a day do you imagine they get that pleasure???

We don't care that you think you are preventing future tantrums........we are getting a headache now.

And yes, my youngest is almost 12 so I obviously have forgotten every thing I ever knew about parenting a toddler and look back fondly on those years with my rose colored glasses and my 20/20 hindsight and remember how absolutely perfect life was then.

 

[Jen0504]

OY! This thread is stressing me out! Yes, I could stop reading it and then I wouldn't be stressed, but it is like a train wreck and I can't seem to pull myself away. At this point I'm afraid to add my 2 cents... I think I'll go take an anti anxiety pill now, and just continue to lurk.

 

[Mkrop]

Just keep telling yourself that.

Trust me........NO ONE wants to listen to your kid melt down at Target, the grocery store....etc......It's so much fun in those big box stores with high ceilings to hear kids screaming their lungs out......the cashiers and employees love it too........how many times a day do you imagine they get that pleasure???

We don't care that you think you are preventing future tantrums........we are getting a headache now.

And yes, my youngest is almost 12 so I obviously have forgotten every thing I ever knew about parenting a toddler and look back fondly on those years with my rose colored glasses and my 20/20 hindsight and remember how absolutely perfect life was then.

You bring up good points, it is not just about your ONE child. It could be several and ongoing children all day, that gets tedious after awhile even at WDW or Target.

And yes I am sure you have no clue about parenting a toddler now that time has past. Wow think of our moms and grandmothers, think how out of touch they must be.

Maybe some need to consider that we have seen a few kids act up in our day, and maybe just maybe we were successful at avoiding them, or dealing with them when they happen.

I am not a perfect parent, I am not even close. I am not done parenting, not by a long shot, and some say the hard years are still before me (the teens) but many of us moms have been through the toddler years and have come out the other side with minimal scarring

 

[Mkrop]

OY! This thread is stressing me out! Yes, I could stop reading it and then I wouldn't be stressed, but it is like a train wreck and I can't seem to pull myself away. At this point I'm afraid to add my 2 cents... I think I'll go take an anti anxiety pill now, and just continue to lurk.

Aww where is the fun in that...dive right in, that is if you agree with me

I am totally just kidding.

But if you continue to lurk grab some

 

[MamaJessie]

OY! This thread is stressing me out! Yes, I could stop reading it and then I wouldn't be stressed, but it is like a train wreck and I can't seem to pull myself away. At this point I'm afraid to add my 2 cents... I think I'll go take an anti anxiety pill now, and just continue to lurk.

Ditto!

 

[Mkrop]

DH just walked by and asked what I was reading and typing. I gave him a brief synopsis. He laughed and said then I guess no one will mind if their child is kicking me and they do nothing about it, I will kick them back. (he would never do that but he would let the parent know) Or what if he wants to have a meltdown somewhere is that ok too? It truly doesnt matter who is disrupting others, it is still wrong. Be a parent.

Then he went to bed.

Oh yeah he also thought the lady on the Transportation Board who is upset about not getting a Magical Express Bus is nutty!

 

[spacemountainmom]

You bring up good points, it is not just about your ONE child. It could be several and ongoing children all day, that gets tedious after awhile even at WDW or Target.

And yes I am sure you have no clue about parenting a toddler now that time has past. Wow think of our moms and grandmothers, think how out of touch they must be.

Maybe some need to consider that we have seen a few kids act up in our day, and maybe just maybe we were successful at avoiding them, or dealing with them when they happen.

I am not a perfect parent, I am not even close. I am not done parenting, not by a long shot, and some say the hard years are still before me (the teens) but many of us moms have been through the toddler years and have come out the other side with minimal scarring

I know someone who has two very challenging children (ages 6 and 4) who can't deal with them now.....I can't wait to see how they react to dealing with angry, hormonal teen girls. Good luck is all I say!

The teen years can be difficult. My ds16 looks like a parent's dream on paper. She's an A student, honor roll, National Honor Society, plays HS tennis, volunteers, well behaved, nice friends.....you get the picture. She and I have been butting heads since the 7th grade. Once the hormones kicked in, my sweet baby girl was gone and left me with a crazy woman-child. She's got a temper that beats all and she changes on a dime. I love her to death, but some days want to lock her in her room until she's about 25.

My ds12 is just starting to hit the hormones and so far, it's been ok. I don't wonder if we've been through the worst with him. He had no fear as a little one and caused my heart to stop beating more than once. He's smart as can be, but finds school boring and will make the last 6 weeks of school a nightmare for me.

I guess I was lucky or did something right - they were both so easy going as little ones. At times they drive me nuts now as it seems at times that they were better behaved and more polite when they were younger. I just keep on them and tell them my expectations have not been lowered, but increased. Hopefully we all make it to the other side of the teen years successfully. I imagine we will. We'll get through this season just as we have all the ones before.

 

[MM27]

I just returned from POP on Saturday and honestly the only "bad behavior" I saw was at the arcade at POP. There were a few kids, actually little ones, that were not supervised because the parents were too busy playing the games. I was playing a game with my niece and I asked her if she wanted to play again. This boy, maybe 6 or 7, was hanging on the machine while we were playing and when I asked her, he said, "No, I want to play" I answered, "Well you're going to have to wait" and he looked shocked Guess he's not used to hearing no. I think I scared him a bit because he backed off

 

[Dustykins]

Then dont take them to Target when they are hungry or tired. Take them first thing in the morning or after their nap. It isnt that complicated. Once again we are talking full blown meltdowns where child is screaming and flailing themselves on the floor, and yes that does impede my shopping experience if I cant get down said aisle.

I never said they were tantruming because they were hungry or tired - I never take them shopping unless they are rested and fed if I can help it, heck I rarely take them shopping at all, I try to go when they're at school (or preschool) to avoid the issue entirely. Unfortunately, sometimes I have to take them with me and once in a blue moon, even when they're well rested and fed one of them will decide they don't want to be there. There's just no magical formula to make sure tantrums don't happen. I do the best that I can to keep them from hindering others - if they're flailing, they're flailing in the cart and I just get what I need and get out as quick as possible. The reality, unfortunately, is that if I'm in a store with both kids, we really need whatever it is I'm buying. I don't love it and avoid it if at all possible but the reality of having kids is that they're going to have a melt down at some point and, merciful heavens, somebody is going to hear it!! I just can't get too worked up about it - I'm a lot more worried about disturbing people when one of them has a night terror in the hotel (or campground, especially) and there's not a dang thing I can do about that!

My kids aren't especially challenging, probably because we've been riding their tails about even little things since they were tiny and they're generally very polite but they're kids and sometimes they don't even understand their feelings let alone know how to deal with them.

 

[Leajess99]

Amen! We're not permissive parents. My kids don't get away with much and they definitely don't get their way by throwing tantrums so they don't happen often, but they still will occasionally. I'll remove them from restaurants, movies, crowded places, etc. but I can't always remove them the second a tantrum happens. Most of the time tantrums at places like Target happen because they don't want to be there and, really, removing them for having a tantrum in those cases is just counter-productive. I don't like bothering other people, but sometimes a couple of minutes of screaming in a non-quiet environment can actually be more considerate of others than removing them immediately because I'm preventing future tantrums.

Than maybe you should find a babysitter. I really hate hearing screaming kids at the stores I go into especially when they scream throughout the store. A minute or 2 fine but the ones that really get me are the ones who keep it up. If you know your child does not want to be there and then by all means please don't bring them there as they do disrupt other shoppers (per your own admission).

 

[Mama Who]

And many go to WDW, it isnt just for children. Yes children are the primary attendees but that does not give them or their parents carte blanche not to be considerate of others.

Besides, the children who can control themselves (which is most of them) don't want to hear it either. Even if one wants to argue that WDW is "for kids" a tantruming child isn't just spoiling things for adults, they're ruining it for the other kids.

My "Rule #1 of Parenting" is that My Kid Never Gets To Be A Pain In Your Rear. If my kid is making a situation unpleasant it is my job to remove him or her.

 

[Mahnahmahnah]

No parent has perfect parenting skills, or is an expert on parenting. We ALL make mistakes. Parenting is a learning experience.

Some parents think they have ALL the answers.

Some parents who have BTDT like to tell us 'new' moms everything we're doing wrong. Maybe they don't realize they're doing it, but of course, 'new' mom is gonna get defensive.

Toddlers and meltdowns are no FUN and not easy. This I think we can agree on?

We as parents learn something new every day. Maybe...just maybe.... the 'judges' are seeing a mistake being made and the mom is learning. A little patience and tolerance goes a long way. I'm sure someone witnessed my mistakes , and if they want to judge me for it, whatever. They can kiss my grits.

 

[Leajess99]

DH just walked by and asked what I was reading and typing. I gave him a brief synopsis. He laughed and said then I guess no one will mind if their child is kicking me and they do nothing about it, I will kick them back. (he would never do that but he would let the parent know) Or what if he wants to have a meltdown somewhere is that ok too? It truly doesnt matter who is disrupting others, it is still wrong. Be a parent.

Then he went to bed.

Oh yeah he also thought the lady on the Transportation Board who is upset about not getting a Magical Express Bus is nutty!

I have actually told my children if they kick someone while not playing soccer than to expect that someone to kick back. They sure didn't like that idea.

 

[Wadecool]

The most amazing thing about this thread is that it's still alive. Oh well, I'm way too intimidated to jump into this sucker at this point so I'll just hide over here in the corner with my

 

[BBG-BLT]

Just an observation.... I tend to notice that the more kids in the family the more they are controlled. I don't think we're more wonderful parents than someone with 1-2 kids. It's more there's no way we'll survive if we let 4 get away with what 1 or 2 do.

There was a comment about follow though - yeah follow through stinks, I haven't taken one out of a park yet but that may happen this year. I follow through so I'm careful of my threat. lol

All in all I think WDW is one of the hardest places to be a good parent. Many people have spent all this money to take their families and they want it to b as happy as it can be, I think many back down and let kids get away qith more to avoid fights, make it seem happier and because they're tired.

Just tired

 

[Dustykins]

No parent has perfect parenting skills, or is an expert on parenting. We ALL make mistakes. Parenting is a learning experience.

Some parents think they have ALL the answers.

Some parents who have BTDT like to tell us 'new' moms everything we're doing wrong. Maybe they don't realize they're doing it, but of course, 'new' mom is gonna get defensive.

Toddlers and meltdowns are no FUN and not easy. This I think we can agree on?

We as parents learn something new every day. Maybe...just maybe.... the 'judges' are seeing a mistake being made and the mom is learning. A little patience and tolerance goes a long way. I'm sure someone witnessed my mistakes , and if they want to judge me for it, whatever. They can kiss my grits.

:nod: And I don't care how many kids you've had, I'm the only one who has ever been a mom to *my* kids. I've only got two and I know that every kid is different and what works for one won't work for another.

 

[Rylee]

No parent has perfect parenting skills, or is an expert on parenting. We ALL make mistakes. Parenting is a learning experience.

Some parents think they have ALL the answers.

Some parents who have BTDT like to tell us 'new' moms everything we're doing wrong. Maybe they don't realize they're doing it, but of course, 'new' mom is gonna get defensive.

Toddlers and meltdowns are no FUN and not easy. This I think we can agree on?

We as parents learn something new every day. Maybe...just maybe.... the 'judges' are seeing a mistake being made and the mom is learning. A little patience and tolerance goes a long way. I'm sure someone witnessed my mistakes , and if they want to judge me for it, whatever. They can kiss my grits.

There are lots of "right" ways to parent. It's pretty much comes down to whatever works for you and yours, until..... your choices infringe on the rights of others.

FWIW - I have 5 children, oldest and youngest are 20 years apart. As a young mother, (had my first at 21) I told myself... I won't make that mistake again! And ya know what... I didn't. I learned and never made the same mistake twice... I just made different mistakes with each child!

I'm not posting on this thread to tell any mother, young or old, the way they handle their child's tantrums is wrong... handle it anyway you want, but what I am here to say is, if you allow your child's tantrum to become my problem, that is wrong.

This thread is more or less about what is or isn't acceptable behavior from children in public places, and the parent's reaction, or lack of, to the child's behavior. I really don't think there's much leeway to debate if allowing a child to scream through a show and ruining it for others is acceptable. There maybe explanations and excuses for the behavior, but I don't think most reasonable, mature adults would defend this as acceptable. Rude is rude. What could be argued to death is how a parent chooses to deal with the inappropriate behavior, but choosing to ignore it at the expense of the child or others is never the right choice.

 

[Mahnahmahnah]

There are lots of "right" ways to parent. It's pretty much comes down to whatever works for you and yours, until..... your choices infringe on the rights of others.

FWIW - I have 5 children, oldest and youngest are 20 years apart. As a young mother, (had my first at 21) I told myself... I won't make that mistake again! And ya know what... I didn't. I learned and never made the same mistake twice... I just made different mistakes with each child!

I'm not posting on this thread to tell any mother, young or old, the way they handle their child's tantrums is wrong... handle it anyway you want, but what I am here to say is, if you allow your child's tantrum to become my problem, that is wrong.

This thread is more or less about what is or isn't acceptable behavior from children in public places, and the parent's reaction, or lack of, to the child's behavior. I really don't think there's much leeway to debate if allowing a child to scream through a show and ruining it for others is acceptable. There maybe explanations and excuses for the behavior, but I don't think most reasonable, mature adults would defend this as acceptable. Rude is rude. What could be argued to death is how a parent chooses to deal with the inappropriate behavior, but choosing to ignore it at the expense of the child or others is never the right choice.

I don't disagree with your last paragraph. And my post wasn't aimed at you. I'm just confused how a random meltdown NOT in a show, etc. would become someone else's problem. Most people that encounter a meltdown can walk away. I could see on an airplane, it would suck, yes. But a random meltdown in the parks?

There is a lot of judgement going on in this thread, especially of kids having average, ordinary meltdowns. I happen to agree meltdowns shouldn't be disrupting a show, etc. My kid would be outta there. Just meltdowns in general and how to properly handle them and what shoulda, coulda, woulda been done. Apparently all moms should have psychic ability to read when you kid is going to have the next meltdown, and be sure to leave the park so it doesn't disturb them. Perhaps I'm reading it wrong, but that's how it's coming across.

I can't speak for others, but my kid is like Dr. Jeckyl/Ms. Hide. Sometimes just telling her she has to hold my hand causes an issue because she's little Miss Independent as well. You may happen to witness this in WDW. It's me. Just sayin'. Do I have to run out of the park because someone doesn't want to see my kid freak out while I'm enforcing a rule? I know my kids' meltdowns lasts about 5 minutes and then she goes on her merry way like nothing happened.

I expect to see all types of behaviors at WDW, just like I would at Chuck E Cheese, or another amusement park, or the Jersey shore. If we don't feel like dealing with kids, we go to Vegas. I have sympathy for other moms, and would never, ever judge them based on a random meltdown we just witnessed. That was my point. I happen to think teenagers are WORSE! And everyone that has teenagers tells me to ENJOY this stage my DD is in.

We are doing WDW for the first time as parents. Currently seeking advice on how to schedule breaks and when. But I 'get' it's the age, and just follow others advice the best way and apply it and hope it works. In the meantime I didn't know we should be worried if a random meltdown here and there disturbs other guests. I kinda figured it's WDW and everyone should be paying attention to having fun and not how other guests are parenting their children.

 

[juliebean]

Just wanted to note that NONE of the things I mentioned as problems I had with kid behaviours were largely harmless fits by toddlers or preschoolers - they were all things with the potential to cause injury to themselves or others, being done by kids at least 6 with their parents there!

The girl who kicked my husband in the back was almost as big as my normal sized 8 year old. I guessed conservatively that she was 6 or 7. Her mother was holding her arms down from behind and she kicked my husband in the back by arching her back against her mother and kicking her legs up. Yes, the mother knew - my husband yelled because it was a shock and also because our daughters were in the line of fire.

I have a preschooler and a high schooler, so I don't quite get how this became older parents versus younger - but let's not pretend like parents automatically do the best they can - I know a lot who just give in or ignore bad behaviour because it's easier at the moment - but trust me (and if it's unwanted advice, then ignore it) it's much easier, if more time consuming, to teach a 2 or 3 year old how to behave than a 7 or 8 year old. I don't expect any kid or teen to behave all the time, but I do expect their parents to parent.