Sharing with Grandma... WWYD?

My 7 years DGD would love sharing a bed. We can stay up alllllllll night telling stories. I'd fall asleep in my breakfast, but she'd love it.
Perhaps but it does turn what would have been a special sibling sleepover event away (well separated by a door) from the parents into now having an adult there all the time supervising. I may not have minded myself when I was younger sharing a bed with my grandmother if it were just me and her completely but crashing my sleepover is another thing (and that's sorta how I envisioned the kids thinking of being in one rom by themselves as). OP's kids may feel entirely different but I can understand the PP's point of view.
 
I think it was really nice of you to invite her after she expressed interest in joining, and it does alter your own immediate family's comfort while giving her a discounted cruise fare compared to what she would otherwise spend to book a room for herself. So while I get why so many people are skewing toward being respectful (give Grandma the big bed and shuffle kids between rooms) - as someone much closer in age to you than grandparents, I totally understand how this is a downgrade for you and your DH. I don't think you should feel badly for wanting alone time on your vacation!! (We shell out the money for a separate room for our kids without any qualms on trips now - alone time, extra bathroom and space, all worth it.)

I am sure you must have considered the other benefits of having your mom join you, no doubt. In your shoes, I'd have an honest conversation with my husband and kids about the bed situation specifically (not at the same time lol). I wouldn't want resentment on anyone's part affecting the whole trip, b/c it is a very different experience to bunk with grandma or eliminate your alone-with-spouse time. I'd also consider whether this is a concrete one-time-only thing (grandma's health is declining, for example) vs. setting expectations for future trip patterns.
 
I would switch some nights. Just let the room steward know that morning. No problems! 😃
 


How would you have arranged the beds if it were just your kids in the room? In my family of 3 kids, my sisters and I would have fought over who got the full bed. Having your mother there means no one gets the bed alone — either one kid sleeps on the full bed with grandma, or two kids share that bed and grandma gets the sofa bed. If either of those is OK with your mother, it sounds like a fine solution. When you don’t need alone time, you can open the connecting door and use the unoccupied half of your room as a sitting area.
 
This is a hard one for anyone to answer really. Depends on the dynamics.
My mom would love sharing a room with the kids for special grandma and grandkid sleepovers. The kids would enjoy it as well.
I'd give grandma first pick of bed, then the kids get 2nd pick.
I'd also be mindful however and if grandma needs a rest or break, kids would shuffle into our room for a night.

There's no right answer here though. Just whatever's best for your family.
 
I think it really depends on the grandma. My dad and his wife would’ve grabbed our children and told DH and I to scatter as they rarely saw the kids and like having them without is us in sight.

My mom on the other hand, would have no problem sharing a room with the kids but would have more of an issue of sharing a bathroom with three other people and having the privacy to change. She doesn’t like changing in the bathroom.

To be honest I don’t think I’d be able to quote “ enjoy” Private time with my husband directly next to a state room with my kids and my mother only having those door separating us. It’s kind of obvious then hey we’re shutting the doors now -wink -wink.

If you really want quality time alone do what most do, wait until after you drop your kids off at the clubs LOL. Maybe tell your mom to get a coffee at the Cove Café.

We are also a family of five sailing soon which is my DH, myself, DD and DS who are teens and my mother. My mom likes her personal space too and putting both kids with her is a bit too much. Keep in mind these state rooms are tiny even if you have a veranda. So we’re most likely doing my husband and son in one room. And the girls and the other. Or maybe my mom and I and the kids with my husband. But keep in mind I have teens. My poor mother would be in her nightgown wanting to read in bed and my kids would be coming in and out or being loud.

And it’s just how I feel about things for myself. I don’t expect quality adult fun time with my husband on a family cruise. This is why we do weekends alone just the two of us or iur own home. Especially on a cruise. I mean the spacing is just so tight and with the kids and activities to be honest that’s the last thing on my mind
 


I am intrigued by the idea of switching out taking kids in our room some nights but having a night or two where they are all in the other room. I guess I just assumed we had to pick one configuration and stick with it because the room steward needs to know which beds to set up at night, but I guess would we just talk to the room steward on the days we need a different bed setup?
I think that’s a good compromise by alternating some nights where you’re alone in some nights where you have a kid sharing. Maybe already tell the kids and grandma that you guys want to have a “date tonight “will you guys actually do go out and then say no we’re coming back so late we don’t wanna wake the kids up. The kids also then would logically understand and accept that that you guys are out. Might help If your kids are like mine. mine would not have given us privacy and would have wanted to move between the rooms. And made a scene about it. But had we told our kids listen mommy and daddy are going to be out longer and staying up late past your bedtime then they would’ve gone to sleep with grandma in the room and that would’ve been the end of it.
 
I would just play it by ear once you get on the ship. Like others said, maybe switch things around as you go. Send those kids off to the kid's club and send mom to the spa so you can have some couple time. :)
 
I think that’s a good compromise by alternating some nights where you’re alone in some nights where you have a kid sharing. Maybe already tell the kids and grandma that you guys want to have a “date tonight “will you guys actually do go out and then say no we’re coming back so late we don’t wanna wake the kids up. The kids also then would logically understand and accept that that you guys are out. Might help If your kids are like mine. mine would not have given us privacy and would have wanted to move between the rooms. And made a scene about it. But had we told our kids listen mommy and daddy are going to be out longer and staying up late past your bedtime then they would’ve gone to sleep with grandma in the room and that would’ve been the end of it.
Yep, this is what I am leaning toward. We could do just a couple nights where she babysits (frankly I actually do love the idea of a date night to go out dancing etc.). I feel a bit silly because it really just didn’t occur to me to alternate nights, and hopefully it is not too confusing for the room steward if we keep switching where the kids sleep, but we will just give an extra big tip!
 
In your place I would pay all of her travel costs. She'll be babysitting for you, no way around that no matter what the configuration is. Sharing a room with kids is work.

The one time my mother sailed with my son and me, I paid all her expenses including airfare, even though we all shared a room. I'm a single mother and not wealthy, she has more money than me, but it was just the right thing to do. She helped out a bit with my son, who was a pretty independent kid so it wasn't much at all, just going to a few things with him so I could chill occasionally.

If you won't pay for your mother, at the very least, she has the right to sleep in the big bed if she wants. Having her pay her own way while also asking her to sleep on the couch and watch the kids is too much.
 
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As a great aunt not Grandmother I will just add my 2c. If my nephew and wife offered to have me join them I would insist on sleeping with the kids-love it!
Twin beds are what many seniors use. When our greats visit our little farmhouse they slept with each one of us in a double until they were about six or seven. Heck, take me on your cruise and I’ll sleep on the floor! The reason many grans and great grans say “they really don’t mind your arrangements”, is because they don’t mind. We love to se our families enjoying themselves. I know how hard parents have to work and love seeing my nieces and nephews families having fun. Please take you Mom at her word and have a fantastic time!
 
When my mom sailed with us, she always got her own room and paid the single supplement. When I had a motion sickness bout on one cruise, this was a lifesaver, b/c there were enough beds I could have my own room and not disturb anyone.

I would ALWAYS have grandma book her own room vs being a 4th in a room with kids.
 
It has been so interesting to read everyone's views on this - I really have appreciated all the perspectives.

We almost ended up being me, DS (4), my dad, and his girlfriend in 2020...but since that didn't happen, and by the time it does happen, my son will be at least 8, so we'll definitely have 2 rooms.

DS and I are going with my mom in January (the 'surprise' that may or may not stay a surprise) - we're in one room, which is no issue, but the bed situation is on my mind. My mom really needs to the queen, so either I sleep with her or on the couch...DS will want the bunk (and I am assuming there will be one on the Wish, although clearly not true in every stateroom on Deck 2 as we learned on the Wonder).

I like the idea of rotating - although it will require good comms with the steward.

I would have slept with one grandmother when I was younger but not the other - but only because she snored very loudly and I was always afraid when she stopped snoring that she might have died. And of course I couldn't tell anyone that in my 8 year old mind... So, PSA to all, while your kid might love their grandparent very much, they might not want to sleep with them.
 
Yep, this is what I am leaning toward. We could do just a couple nights where she babysits (frankly I actually do love the idea of a date night to go out dancing etc.). I feel a bit silly because it really just didn’t occur to me to alternate nights, and hopefully it is not too confusing for the room steward if we keep switching where the kids sleep, but we will just give an extra big tip!
Only other option I could see is if you could change rooms to have grandma and the kids in a family room with the extra pull down Murphy bed (the ones you stayed in as a family of 5). I think there are a few places on board where these are next to the regular staterooms so might require a good travel agent or extra helpful CM to find on the ship though to be able to have rooms connecting. Also, if doing verandahs some have mentioned having the connecting verandahs instead of connecting rooms for more options.
 
I wouldn’t feel bad putting grandma in with the kids. You planned a trip for your immediate family, and then she asked to tag along, it’s reasonable for her to expect to fit herself into those existing arrangements. If she wants privacy, she can book her own room. :)
 
I wouldn’t feel bad putting grandma in with the kids. You planned a trip for your immediate family, and then she asked to tag along, it’s reasonable for her to expect to fit herself into those existing arrangements. If she wants privacy, she can book her own room. :)
No one is suggesting the OP front the bill for the grandmother. From the OP she was mentioning her trip and the grandmother said she'd love to join..I don't get the impression at all that the grandmother is an unwelcomed interloper so I don't think there's a need to act like she is. Multiple of us have said they would suggest the grandmother book her own room out of privacy and out of cruisin' reactions. The OP however is more leaning towards grandmother sharing with the kids and taking turns, it would be rather rude to take on that approach and then say "if you don't like it get your own room". The person the OP should be talking with is really the grandmother as multiple of us have stated. She's the one bunking with the kids at this point.
 
No one is suggesting the OP front the bill for the grandmother. From the OP she was mentioning her trip and the grandmother said she'd love to join..I don't get the impression at all that the grandmother is an unwelcomed interloper so I don't think there's a need to act like she is. Multiple of us have said they would suggest the grandmother book her own room out of privacy and out of cruisin' reactions. The OP however is more leaning towards grandmother sharing with the kids and taking turns, it would be rather rude to take on that approach and then say "if you don't like it get your own room". The person the OP should be talking with is really the grandmother as multiple of us have stated. She's the one bunking with the kids at this point.
I didn’t mean to imply that she was unwelcome or an interloper, but my impression was that the OP had already booked the trip before grandma asked to come. So, since the plans were already made, grandma presumably knew that the OP and her husband were sharing a room and the kids were sharing another. She asked to come knowing that, so it’s not rude to have her sleep in with the kids.
 

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