Sharing with Grandma... WWYD?

[MomOTwins]

We have two connecting verandah rooms booked on a cruise for our family of 5--had been planning for DH and I to sleep in one room, and the three kids to sleep in the connecting one. Well technically, we have it booked as one adult in each room, but were planning to pull a switcheroo onboard to give me and DH a private sleeping space and bathroom, while still having easy access to the kids through the connecting door for safety reasons.

When I told my mom about it, she mentioned she'd really love to join us and so we've added her to the reservation in the "kids" room. Now I'm questioning what we should do about the sleeping arrangements. The "kids room" does indeed have enough bed space for 4, but she would either have to share the main bed with one of my kids, or sleep on the twin size sofa bed. Or we could take one or two of the kids in our room, and that would give her the ability to sleep in the queen bed by herself with one or two kids in the bunk in her room.

I'm kind of wanting to put her and the kids in one room, as I was really was looking forward to a little privacy and peace/quiet in a private room, but is that being a jerk? Or is hanging out with all the kids just what grandmas do and I shouldn't feel bad? She doesn't do a lot of child care for us because she lives in a distant city, but the kids LOVE her and would love staying in a room with grandma. For reference, kids ages will be 10, 10 and 7, so none are so young that they are a huge burden (they can dress themselves and brush teeth on their own etc.), but nor are they older teens who are totally self-sufficient. She is paying her fare (though that is not as much as the per person fare for the rest of us, as the "extra person" fare is less than half the price of the "full fare" you have to pay for the first two people in each room).

Would love to hear from others who have travelled with a grandparent and what you did for sleeping arrangements.

 

[sheilafri]

I cruised with my mother, husband and children. She was in the kids’ room. Your children should be of an age to well tolerate sleep overs with Grandma.

 

[jo-jo]

Not to be mean, but does grandma snore or need to get up several times during the night? Or do your kids sleep through anything?

Will you have the kids joining your partway thru the night?

Just to add, when we are at WDW , we want our own bedroom, so we can go to bed when we want.

 

[tinkerone]

I'm thinking a bit differently. If she is paying her own way then that needs to be taken into account. What was the conversation when you discussed her coming? Did you tell her she would be sharing a room with all the kids? Did she know that? If so, then she would be aware and you can do as you wish. If that wasn't talked about and she doesn't know she may be left to sleep on the sofa you may want to talk to her about it now.
My thought would be she should have the bed, one child in the bunk, one on the sofa and one in your cabin. BUT, again, that all depends on what was the original agreement.
While I didn't mind the sofa on my first cruise, I am now platinum and aging and would not like to have the sofa again. No matter how it goes, have a great sailing!

 

[harleyquinn]

I would probably do a mix. Some nights with grandma and some with mom and dad, but I think it totally depends on what you and grandma want and maybe who is paying for what.

 

[dcassetta]

I have not sailed with grandchildren, but I have sailed with nieces and nephews. My preference would be to have the big bed as it is much more comfortable. I have shared a bed with my niece when she was 2, 5 and 9 and that was fine. Are you sure the kids will all want to be in the other room. Once of my nephews would have always preferred to be in the room with his parents before he was a teen.

I would also ask you mom what she would prefer.

 

[nancipants]

I think switching off would be a good compromise. Maybe have a few nights that are “sleepovers” in grandma’s room and a few in yours. That way everyone has privacy. Unless, like someone said, she knew she’d be staying with them.

We are sailing with my mom in one room and me, my husband, and my son in another room. My mom has already said he can sleep in her room. Of course, that’s an easier situation for sleeping arrangements since it’s just him and he’ll be fine with the sofa bed.

 

[NC State Tigger]

I am a grandma and have no problem sleeping on the fold out sofa. Would rather sleep on it than with a wiggly kicking child.
If I do need to get up during the night, the kids sleep right thru.
I’m about 5’6” and 150ish lbs. someone much taller or heavier may not be as comfortable.

 

[MomOTwins]

Okay, to clarify, mom knew she would be staying in the room with the kids, since the conversation was that we had two rooms one for us, one for the kids that sleeps up to 4, and she'd be added to the kids room as the 4th guest. I'm just realizing now that I'm looking at the actual bed layout that might not be the most comfortable. We've always done the rooms that sleep 5 before, where there are three separate kid beds plus a queen for the adult, so I wasn't really thinking about the fact she'll either have to share the queen bed or the sofa bed until after it was all booked. Or maybe it's a total non-issue because it would be plenty comfortable for an adult and 3 kids in one room and I'm overthinking it.

She's never been on a cruise before so I'm sure she didn't really scrutinize the bed layouts either.

I'm not the least bit worried about the kids sleeping well--I get up frequently in the night when we share a room on vacation because I have really bad insomnia and am often going out on the verandah to watch the waves, leaving the room to wander the ship, watching tv, turning on lights to read etc., and they never stir.

It's hard for me to ask my mom for her preference and get an honest answer, because she is one of those people who will always tell you everything is perfect when it absolutely isn't just because she doesn't want to be a nuisance. So I guess I am just trying to figure out if it would be mean to keep her in the room with the kids or if it all totally fine from a comfort perspective.

 

[Carohs]

If cost isn't a big factor for you, you could book Grandma plus one of the kids in a 3rd room but have the kids sleep together as originally planned. From what I recall there's not that much difference between full-fare and 3rd guest. Not sure if you're past PIF or not but I can't see why DCL wouldn't let you move one of the kids over.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I would have had her get her own room in all honesty especially for someone who hasn't cruised before. She doesn't necessarily know how she will take being on a boat and may prefer her own privacy if things act up, even just having issues sleeping herself.

 

[harleyquinn]

Okay, to clarify, mom knew she would be staying in the room with the kids, since the conversation was that we had two rooms one for us, one for the kids that sleeps up to 4, and she'd be added to the kids room as the 4th guest. I'm just realizing now that I'm looking at the actual bed layout that might not be the most comfortable. We've always done the rooms that sleep 5 before, where there are three separate kid beds plus a queen for the adult, so I wasn't really thinking about the fact she'll either have to share the queen bed or the sofa bed until after it was all booked. Or maybe it's a total non-issue because it would be plenty comfortable for an adult and 3 kids in one room and I'm overthinking it.

She's never been on a cruise before so I'm sure she didn't really scrutinize the bed layouts either.

I'm not the least bit worried about the kids sleeping well--I get up frequently in the night when we share a room on vacation because I have really bad insomnia and am often going out on the verandah to watch the waves, leaving the room to wander the ship, watching tv, turning on lights to read etc., and they never stir.

It's hard for me to ask my mom for her preference and get an honest answer, because she is one of those people who will always tell you everything is perfect when it absolutely isn't just because she doesn't want to be a nuisance. So I guess I am just trying to figure out if it would be mean to keep her in the room with the kids or if it all totally fine from a comfort perspective.

I don’t think that you are overthinking it. If she absolutely understands that she either has to sleep in a tiny bed or share with one of the kids, then I think everything is fine. I do think you need to be prepared for something to go wrong and that grandma may need the queen to herself for part of the cruise.

As long as you are okay with possibly not having privacy for every night of the cruise, I think you’ll be fine.

I have to admit that the most shocking thing about your situation to me is that you are able to expect that with or without grandma, your kids will stay in their room and give you privacy for the whole cruise!! That is totally alien to me!!

 

[ironz]

If she's never been on a cruise, does she know the rooms are much smaller than a regular hotel room? And that you have to sort of scooch by the bed if you are getting from the couch or even from the window side of the bed to get to the bathroom?

I'm a grandma and love my grandkids, but staying with 3 of them in my room while the parents rest away next door wouldn't be my idea of vacation at all. Maybe 1 kid at a time, but not 3.
But good luck with what you decide!

 

[MomOTwins]

If cost isn't a big factor for you, you could book Grandma plus one of the kids in a 3rd room but have the kids sleep together as originally planned. From what I recall there's not that much difference between full-fare and 3rd guest. Not sure if you're past PIF or not but I can't see why DCL wouldn't let you move one of the kids over.

I would have had her get her own room in all honesty especially for someone who hasn't cruised before. She doesn't necessarily know how she will take being on a boat and may prefer her own privacy if things act up, even just having issues sleeping herself.

It actually works out to a pretty substantial price difference--the third and fourth fare in the kids room are each less than half of a full fare for the first two guests in a room. Because disney doesn't do singles fares, we'd have to book double occupancy for the extra room, so even if we move one kid to her double occupancy room on paper, his fare then gets doubled too.

Current scenario: we are paying 4 full fares plus 1 half fare, and my mom is paying 1 half fare
Three rooms: We would be paying 5 full fares and my mom has to pay 1 full fare

It all adds up to an extra $2,500, which even if me and mom split down the middle is an awful lot to add to the budget.

I have to admit that the most shocking thing about your situation to me is that you are able to expect that with or without grandma, your kids will stay in their room and give you privacy for the whole cruise!! That is totally alien to me!!

Not the whole cruise of course, but it was more the idea of separate sleeping areas with a door between that could be closed for at least part of the evening after the kids are asleep. DH and I have never once been able to have to have some "alone time" on vaycay, as the kids have always shared a room with us. Man, okay, the more I talk about this the more embarrassing it is and maybe we should just take one kid in our room and give up on private space.

I am intrigued by the idea of switching out taking kids in our room some nights but having a night or two where they are all in the other room. I guess I just assumed we had to pick one configuration and stick with it because the room steward needs to know which beds to set up at night, but I guess would we just talk to the room steward on the days we need a different bed setup?

 

[harleyquinn]

It actually works out to a pretty substantial price difference--the third and fourth fare in the kids room are each less than half of a full fare for the first two guests in a room. Because disney doesn't do singles fares, we'd have to book double occupancy for the extra room, so even if we move one kid to her double occupancy room on paper, his fare then gets doubled too.

Current scenario: we are paying 4 full fares plus 1 half fare, and my mom is paying 1 half fare
Three rooms: We would be paying 5 full fares and my mom has to pay 1 full fare

It all adds up to an extra $2,500, which even if me and mom split down the middle is an awful lot to add to the budget.


Not the whole cruise of course, but it was more the idea of separate sleeping areas with a door between that could be closed for at least part of the evening after the kids are asleep. DH and I have never once been able to have to have some "alone time" on vaycay, as the kids have always shared a room with us. Man, okay, the more I talk about this the more embarrassing it is and maybe we should just take one kid in our room and give up on private space.

I am intrigued by the idea of switching out taking kids in our room some nights but having a night or two where they are all in the other room. I guess I just assumed we had to pick one configuration and stick with it because the room steward needs to know which beds to set up at night, but I guess would we just talk to the room steward on the days we need a different bed setup?

I would definitely think that you could mix things up, but I’ve never cruised. I assumed you could switch and you assumed you couldn’t! I have no idea who is right!

And definitely don’t be embarrassed. You deserve private time if you can get it!!!

 

[lilsonicfan]

As adding a third room is not particularly economical for you guys I would strongly suggest having her in the queen bed, with twins in the sofa bed/bunk and 7yo on the sofa bed in your room. Now, she may be more flexible than this, but (and of course this is all personal) if I were grandma with 2-3 kids in the room with me (meaning I also have to share a bathroom, which can be awkward) I'd at least want a queen size bed to myself.

We are a family of 5 as well. We are cruising with my ILs soon, and I have insisted on three rooms - two for DH, me and kids, and one for ILs. Rooms might 'technically' fit 4 but there is no way I'm doing that. Of course, that means we aren't cruising DCL...lol.

On our last DCL cruise, although the verandah rooms we had were connecting, one of them had the bunk (slept 4) and one did not (slept 3). Actually, we had two different room stewards! We asked the steward to put down the bunk every night even though some nights our kids would switch rooms and the bunk might not get used. They were really great about that.

 

[ironz]

I hear you on the price difference. In the before times, we were all ready to take our granddaughter and her parents on a cruise. There have since been two grandsons added, which changes the math completely.

 

[Lilsia]

If she's never been on a cruise, does she know the rooms are much smaller than a regular hotel room? And that you have to sort of scooch by the bed if you are getting from the couch or even from the window side of the bed to get to the bathroom?

I'm a grandma and love my grandkids, but staying with 3 of them in my room while the parents rest away next door wouldn't be my idea of vacation at all. Maybe 1 kid at a time, but not 3.
But good luck with what you decide!

I feel bad for the kids. They were going to get their own room and I imagine that would have been special for them. Now they are stuck in the room with grandma and someone is going to draw the short straw and actually have to sleep in the bed with her. Just what every kid wants to do. LOL

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

It actually works out to a pretty substantial price difference--the third and fourth fare in the kids room are each less than half of a full fare for the first two guests in a room. Because disney doesn't do singles fares, we'd have to book double occupancy for the extra room, so even if we move one kid to her double occupancy room on paper, his fare then gets doubled too.

Current scenario: we are paying 4 full fares plus 1 half fare, and my mom is paying 1 half fare
Three rooms: We would be paying 5 full fares and my mom has to pay 1 full fare

It all adds up to an extra $2,500, which even if me and mom split down the middle is an awful lot to add to the budget.

I get it I was just thinking of her and her comfort, beds are one thing but sharing a room with multiple kids if you're finding yourself a bit queasy, other issues or having issues adjusting to sleeping on a ship is another. I would talk with her to ask her comfort level, what she may be able to anticipate and considering costs. It's at least something I would discuss well ahead of time to get expectations down.

 

[jo-jo]

I feel bad for the kids. They were going to get their own room and I imagine that would have been special for them. Now they are stuck in the room with grandma and someone is going to draw the short straw and actually have to sleep in the bed with her. Just what every kid wants to do. LOL

My 7 years DGD would love sharing a bed. We can stay up alllllllll night telling stories. I'd fall asleep in my breakfast, but she'd love it.