Send 10 year old boy to mens room??

[monica31671]

My son is seven and he would be mortified if I tried to make him go in the women's bathroom.

 

[danalee]

Kids are like adults, all different.
Meaning YOU judge the situation and your child! If you (being the parent) think your child can "go it alone" and YOU and THE CHILD are ok with it great, and if not, great as well~
Ladies room stall's have doors, mens room are more "open" so thats a big difference.
As for a 10 year old girl seeing a boy of her age in the ladies room, I would explain that he had to use this restroom because, he's only here with his mom and she didnt want him going to the bathroom alone.
My little guy is only 5, and he goes where I go, now when he's 10 I would think I would be doing the standing at the mens room door thing, but dont you think for one second if he or I were uncomfortable then hes coming with me!
So like I said you be the judge, its your child and all situation are different.

 

[NewEnglandDisney]

I fully support your right to do whatever you think is appropriate for your child, and I hope you will have that same appreciation for different styles of parenting.

I agree in concept, but the original poster began her post by saying "I guess I should let him go alone..."

I think she was actually posting so people would help convince her that it's okay. I think she knows it is, but needs people to reassure her.

Of course, some people start posting crazy stories that their aunt's uncle heard from his neighbor's sister about some kid in Indiana, or Montana, or California, about a kid getting hurt in a restroom.

To those stories, I'd point to any number of things that carry risks. Do you let your kids drive in moving vehicles? Your child has a much greater chance of being hurt or worse in a car accident than they do happening to go into a WDW restroom and being hurt. With the things I hear about going on in public schools these days (and even as someone in my mid-20's I'm AMAZED at the things I hear going on - from 10 year-olds experimenting with certain types of personal relations to substance use) I'd be more worried to send a kid to school than a restroom at Walt Disney World.

This isn't a moral judgement - I'm not a parent, but the one thing I know is that all the mom's posting her do love their children. That's not a question.

The reason I've posted personally is because I am a male (and there seems to be a dearth of male replies here) and know what it's like to be a 10-year old boy with a mom that STILL tells me to drive safely when I get in a car, and that at 25+ gets worried when I get on a plane to Disney World alone. You will ALWAYS worry about your kids - but the difference is when you let it become your worry and not theirs.

I think someone above hit the nail on the head - it's not like you are in some back alley in New York City. While bad things DO happen at WDW, a pervert (and that seems to be what most people are afraid of) isn't going to go somewhere where every bathroom is busy, and so many fathers are around constantly. To be frank, if they wanted to do such things, there are much easier places for them to do so. As to physical harm (I won't use the loaded language some have, but threatening a childs life with weapons) what are the chances that some crazy dude is going to do so in Walt Disney World - my guess is that most people that are that sick won't pay $60 to get in somewhere and do so.

Bad things happen everywhere. It's a fact of life. But we can be scared of it and let it rule us, or we can take cautions when appropriate and learn to make our way in the world as practically as possible. At 10, it's time to cut the cord - and let him go pee in peace!

All joking aside, you really could be hurting them in the long run. There is a reason the expression goes "he can't hold his own ____ by himself".

N.E.D.

 

[Jackie H.]

Sorry, I haven't read through this entire thread but when my son was 10 he didn't want to go into the ladies room with me. I know it is hard and can be terrifiying, but we've got to give them their space sometime.

I would position myself right outside the bathroom door and instruct him to scream if ANYTHING at all suspicous happened. I can assure you nothing would've kept me out of that men's room had he screamed! Once he took what I thought was a really long time and I called in to him. (He was waiting on the only stall with a door.)

Now a boy with a developmental problem such as described earlier is a different situation. In this case the parent must do what the parent must do and the rest of us can just learn to live with it!!! I would completely ignore anyone ignorant enough to complain as just that IGNORANT!

 

[bryon]

Thank you NewEnglandDisney for your last post. It was much better written then I could have done.

 

[Disneyonmymind]

Like I said....Every town has this URBAN LEGEND...

This is besides the point.....No one has answered my question yet about 10 year old girls?

What about the 10 year old girls in the ladies room. I bet they would not enjoy seeing a boy there own age in the same bathroom with them.

Ask any 10 year old girl if they want a boy classmate in the same room with them when they are using the bathroom.

All the ladies who think it is ok....Think back to when you were 10 and using the restroom. Would you want a boy from your school (or even your own age) in the stall next to you?

Bryon - I will answer. It's good to know that you are not familiar with the inside of the ladies' room, lol. All of the toilets are enclosed in stalls with doors that lock. Seeing a 10 year old boy in the ladies' room may cause someone to be "surprised" but there shouldn't be any lasting trauma. I'm sure my DD would agree as we've encountered same-age boys in RR in the past. I'm fairly certain she and I survived it unscathed. No nightmares, no therapy, no problem!

Now, let's talk about a little girl in the men's room where the urinals are out in the open. I could see some potential trauma there. That's why WDW has installed plenty of family restrooms.

It's a delicate issue (when and where to allow kids to use the RR alone) and bad things can and do happen, although it's extremely rare. Everyone needs to decide for themselves. Some people go through life without a care while others worry and fret. I think I am in the middle but others (MIL) may say I lean toward paranoia, lol.

Jackie

 

[Worfiedoodles]

It's a delicate issue (when and where to allow kids to use the RR alone) and bad things can and do happen, although it's extremely rare. Everyone needs to decide for themselves. Some people go through life without a care while others worry and fret. I think I am in the middle but others (MIL) may say I lean toward paranoia, lol.
It is indeed a delicate issue.

Everyone needs to decide for themselves.

I think this is the heart of the matter.

 

[NewEnglandDisney]

Everyone needs to decide for themselves.

I think this is the heart of the matter.

Again, I agree, but by posting on a message board like this, the OP literally was asking for advice. The decision she makes is of course her own - but we can help her shape her own decision by sharing our personal experiences.

 

[bigsis1970]

my son is 8.5 and our trips to Disney are all about the bathrooms - I swear he has a tiny bladder!! but anyway our frist to trips in 2001 & 2002 he was 5 and 6 he went to the ladies room (I am a single mom and my older child is a daughter) then in 2003 at age 7 we went with a friend her her son is 8 so they went in pairs but in 2004 he had just turned 8 and there we no males so we went in shifts my DD to the ladies room and he to the mens room with me right at the entrance - and if I thought he took to long I called in (more then once!!) to make sure things were ok , then he and his older sister waited by the ladies room for me to be done (and to be smart they called in to me a few times!! LOL ) we are traveling again in July and will do the shift thing again. Michelle

 

[Worfiedoodles]

Hopefully the OP has found this extensive thread, full of various opinions and experiences, useful!

 

[YourMajesty]

I needed to chime in. My DS will be 8. I also have a DS5. I started letting my DS use the mens when he was five but then I started hearing stories. I thought if I could stand there and hear him that would do the job. I didn't think about not hearing him because someone quickly duct-taped his mouth or silt his throat etc.... So now sometimes he goes with me and sometimes I still let him go alone. I do feel like there is a risk and I'm responsible....kind of like seat belts and bike helments etc... I really think unless you are a parent that is trying to do what is best it's hard to completly understand. Parent's all see danger differently by experinece but what goes on in the public restrooms is real.

 

[maxaroni]

As I've said before, I try not to judge anyone's parenting styles. I think this whole parenting deal is by far harder than I could ever imagine. I did say that I believe a 10 yr old boy should be going it alone into the mens room. However, if mom isn't comfortable, that's fine. My ds12 is hitting these sorts of issues every day. Going into the mens room alone is one of those. We are passed that and the issue is always something...when can he ride his bike to the 7-11, how far to ride his bike alone, how far to walk to the 7-11 and if he does, how many should he be with, some say 2 and others say 3. It's always something in this letting go process. It isn't easy. However, for people to be passing judgement and not just offering advice is not right, either. I'm sure each and every parent has to follow what they feel is right and we all may not agree.

 

[Terry S]

NewEnglandDisney.... when you do have childern of your own you may think differently or maybe not. I was never worried about my son being grabbed and taken out of the restroom without me noticeing. I was worried about what can happen in there. If the chlids mouth is being covered they may not be able to scream. If they are waiting in the stall others may not notice. Bad things do happen in WDW even though Disney does a good job of trying to keep things quiet.

For me, I will continue to just try and locate the family restrooms.

 

[Storminator]

Someone hit on this way earlier in the thread, but you just can't live in a state of paranoia...well, you could but it isn't healthy for anyone. Every day, every single day in this country, you hear about some kid being groped at school. It's still extraordinarily unlikely that your kid will be groped at school, but it happens. No one decides that their kid shouldn't go to school because of it.

How likely is it, really, that someone is going to duct tape your kid's mouth in a bathroom at Disney World or anywhere else? A bathroom where people are literally in and out every 10 or 20 seconds all day long? A bathroom where almost every man in there is a parent?

 

[lllovell]

NewEnglandDisney.... when you do have childern of your own you may think differently or maybe not. I was never worried about my son being grabbed and taken out of the restroom without me noticeing. I was worried about what can happen in there. If the chlids mouth is being covered they may not be able to scream. If they are waiting in the stall others may not notice. Bad things do happen in WDW even though Disney does a good job of trying to keep things quiet.

For me, I will continue to just try and locate the family restrooms.

My only question here is when is the last time you actually were in a WDW bathroom alone? Or even close to alone? We use some of the furthest restroom areas from the central location and there are still at least 5-10 people in there at any one time, including typically someone cleaning at least 25% (or more) of the time.

Family restrooms are a great alternative. I think we all agree on that!

 

[Worfiedoodles]

How likely is it, really, that someone is going to duct tape your kid's mouth in a bathroom at Disney World or anywhere else? A bathroom where people are literally in and out every 10 or 20 seconds all day long? A bathroom where almost every man in there is a parent?[/QUOTE]

All I can say is, likely or not, I'm pretty determined it's not going to be my child...and just because a man is a parent, doesn't mean he isn't a predator.

 

[Storminator]

All I can say is, likely or not, I'm pretty determined it's not going to be my child...and just because a man is a parent, doesn't mean he isn't a predator.

So when your kid is 12, or 15, or 18 will you then allow them to take the chance of being duct taped in the bathroom?

I love my son as much as anyone else loves theirs, but I'm not going to smother him on the .000000000001 chance that something might happen in the 2 minutes he's away from me.

 

[Worfiedoodles]

As long as your comfortable with your actions, I don't see how anyone can fault you. What a shame you aren't willing to allow others to adhere to a different standard of what they feel is safe.

As the aunt of two children who have been abused in every way imaginable, I am probably more cautious than most parents. I'm o.k. with that. I really don't see why that should make me a target for personal attacks.

 

[lllovell]

I haven't read much here that is personal. I don't think that anyone here thinks the OP is a bad parent either. What I AM getting from most is there comes a time when you have to allow for freedoms so your child can mature and grow. We obviously differ in when we think that will be and in many ways that is correct because each child is different.

 

[aubriee]

Ooh! this hits a nerve! I have a pretty feisty 8 y/o GD. We were in WDW in January and I took her to the restroom, while my son went to the men's room. She was in a stall two doors down from mine when I heard her scream and then heard another child crying. It scared me to death! As I ran out of my stall I saw a little boy about 9-10 y/o on the floor crying and holding his bloody face. His mother had went into the stall between me and my GD and left him standing outside her stall. He got curious and decided to peak under the door of my GD's stall. She screamed and at the same time kicked him in the face bloodying his nose. Was the mother upset with her son for peaking under the stall? No! she was furious my GD had kicked him in the face when he peaked under the door, called my GD a brat, and then demanded an apology. (Which she didn't get, by the way). She said he was just a little boy and was naturally curious. Well excuse me! little boys who are left free to peak under little girls restroom doors have no business in the ladies restroom. My GD had every right to do what she thought was protecting herself and she let the lady know it, calling her son a pervert.

As far as the OP, I am the mother of two sons and can not imagine ever trying to take them with me to the ladies room when they were 10 y/o. A 10 y/o should know how to take care of himself in the mens room, besides which there is always alot of people in WDW restrooms and if anyone was even looking at your son strangely I can't help but think someone would intervene to help him. If some stranger accosted a little girl in the ladies room wouldn't you intervene? I know I would.