SAHM....How do you do it? My morning so far....

[Microcell]

Ah, the good old days. Thanks for bringing back those memories. My kids are now in university and high school and I miss having littles ones sooooooooo much!

Yeah, right!

OP- You learn to ignore everything but the loud screams. I just let DS take tape up to DD because her flower broke. I suppose I need to check to see just what exactly got taped. Probably my walls. Nope, scratch that, my floor in the kitchen- hardwoods. Ahhhh little ones!

 

[tiff211]

• DD3 asking me to check her butt to see if she got all the poop out.

Yours does this too. I think they think of the most bizarre ways to disturb your shower.

 

[tiff211]

It was just a simple question. I have often wondered, though, why if you find it SO difficult to care for your own kids, why is it you keep having more? Answer that for me. I mean, if it's that hard, STOP!

That's not "going too far", it's my opinion. I don't like reading complaints from stay at home moms with more than 1 kid who say how hard it is, who continue to have more and more kids. Doesn't make sense to me. Nothing personal to you (since I wasn't even talking about you) or anyone else, just my opinion. Sorry if you don't like it, but it doesn't change my opinion.

Whoa! I missed this one! Aren't you just a bundle of warmth? I just want to see one post from someone who can say parenting is easy. I could say more but I am not even going to go there!

 

[tiff211]

Ok, comments like that make me think maybe someones mom should of stopped before she had them.........

My mom had 3 boys and then finally had me. I don't know what she was thinking, or how she did it, but I am glad she didn't stop when it got tough.

What she said!

 

[Briarmom]

Whoa! I missed this one! Aren't you just a bundle of warmth? I just want to see one post from someone who can say parenting is easy. I could say more but I am not even going to go there!

Yes, he/she is always so helpful and full of sunshine. And it is always ok for them to act that way, no matter what.

Anyway, I am glad your day is getting better. Sorry you got so many rude people on this thread. I am a SAHM, and it is difficult. Apparently all this hard work will pay off in the long haul.

 

[Tasha+Scott]

I could say more but I am not even going to go there!

Good idea since 9 times out of 10 this particular poster only posts to stir the pot and get everyone riled up. Not even worth responding to. I mean how dare you have a rough day every now and then? Didn't you know you are supposed to be the perfect mother 24/7? Please...I think you are doing just fine!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Whoa! I missed this one! Aren't you just a bundle of warmth? I just want to see one post from someone who can say parenting is easy. I could say more but I am not even going to go there!

NObody said it was easy--many commiserated and some offered advice.

You aren't a bad parent.

Just need to take care of you and the rest will fall in place.

I read your post--kind of as a sampling of your daily life...not the one bad day let's laugh about this.

 

[tiff211]

Sorry, I can't join in the "oh it's so tough to be a stay at home mom" singalong. I have three kids myself, all under 10, and I have always been able to take a daily shower, and my house is always reasonably tidy, and I am not tearing my hair out at the end of the day. This includes the 18 month period when my husband was out of the country, and I was the only adult in the house.

It's as difficult or as easy as you choose to make it.

ITA, the difference is that I am not a stay at home mom, the baby is only sleeping 1 1/2 intervals, usually my dd5 is not home, she leaves with DH to go to school in the morning.

Before I was on maternity leave, Everything was organized and ran smoothly, getting the kids and myself ready, picking them up, cooking dinner, etc, etc,
Today was not the "norm" thus the disasterous results.

 

[tiff211]

I am living in your world and I am the DH!! My DW is a SAHM and we have 2 DS's and a new DD, and the oldest is three. It truely is a sight to be seen in the morning. I have been assigned to two DS's in the morning. We have the oldest in JR Pre K,and the 2 years old in a seperate Pre-School program. I get up at 6:30 AM and begin the morning by shaving, then I clean up the bottles from the overnight fun and sterilize and fill for the day. Then I awaken the boys to a 15 minutes discussion about why they should get into the shower. We installed a giant multi-head shower room so that I can wrangle both of them and myself into the shower at the same time. Then it is time to make breakfast, dress boys, dress myself, kiss mom and baby and hit the door. Off to DS3's school, unload everyone, talk to teacher, and reload DS2, then off to DS2's school for a repeat. Then off to work. Starting at 6:30 AM and I just arrived thirty minutes ago at 10:30 AM. Four hours to start the day!! Doctor appointment for flu shots today at 3:00, so leave the office at 1:30 to pick up DS2. DW will pick up DS3 and cart DD0 with her and meet at the doctors. After doctor home to attempt to clean, then dinner, then reading and play time with boys, then 15 minutes conversation about bed time. Then prepare new bottles for overnight, and begin to wind down DD0. Bed at 10:00 PM, awake at 1:00 AM,l awake at 5:00 Am, then alarm at 6:30AM. Let's do it again. Saturday will be here soon and we can load up and go to Disneyland!! Why have more kids??? Because we love them!!! That doesn't mean that the OP doesn't want to reach out to others that can understand what she is going through (because she loves them) and hear stories that let her know that she is not alone!!

Hats off to you!

 

[EthansMom]

Tiff,

I know where you're coming from! I've been a SAHM for over 4 years and there are some days where you just want to tear your hair out.

As for how I do it? I multitask as much as possible and I've learned to set some of my standards a little lower.

I let the kids watch cartoons as long as they are PBS cartoons and the t.v. must be off by 10 a.m. or whenever we leave for preschool and/or errands, whichever is earliest.

I have learned to deal with some body hair since I can rarely take a shower without sharing it with one of the kids. And if I do have the shower to myself, I'm probably using Softscrub to clean the shower while I'm taking my shower.

When each of my children was a newborn, I would turn the water a little cooler than I prefer and give the baby a shower at the same time as myself. I would put the baby in just a diaper in the bouncy seat just outside of the shower while I did the shampoo/rinse thing and then reach out and get baby, take off the diaper and use baby soap to bathe the baby. Now, the kids take a shower together in the morning while I get out their clothes, make the bed, and start working on DS's lunch for preschool.

I just wish I could get more time to myself, but I take what I get when I get it.

Enjoy your time at home with the kids!

 

[Cantw8]

Well, I have done both. Stayed at home with two little ones and worked with two little ones. I gotta tell ya, neither is easy but even once you find a routine no matter what choice you make, something will always come along and throw a monkeywrench into the day I am still looking for a third or fourth option

 

[Nancy]

You know I'm trying to remember how I got my showers in way back then. I think I have a mental block!

I had 3 kids in 5 years. When #3 was born the other 2 were still in pre school only 3 days a week for 2 hours per day. It was tough to be on schedule with a newborn in the house. DH was working 60-70 hours a week back then too! No wonders I have so much gray hair!

I do know I spent lots of time walking the mall with my Mom. We also had a gate across the entry to the family room and it was screwed into the woodwork so the kids could not get out. I utilized the play pen a lot to keep baby away from older sisters, sisters in the family room, baby in the living room. I can see into the family room from my living room so the older 2 pretty much played in there.

But I still don't remember how I showered...

 

[christineann]

I was a SAHM until my kids were both in school, and it was the most rewarding, most hectic, most important thing I have ever done IMHO. My (thankfully, former) mother in law and sister in law said to me quite often, "What do you DO all day? I would go crazy sitting around all day with nothing to do."
Clueless.

 

[dcgrumpy]

This post just reminded me, I have no idea when was the last time I took a shower


I'm on maternity leave with a 10mo, 2yo and almost 5yo who isn't in school yet. Some days are good, other days I want to pull my hair out.

Unlike my other two the baby is a light sleeper and every little noise wakes her up from her nap. So of course that means as soon as she falls aslepp the other two start having a screaming match

 

[snoopy]

Tough crowd.

Good luck and I hope better days are coming, OP. I certainly can remember moments when I wanted to lock myself in the bathroom and howl til the hogs came home.

So glad the rest of you handled everything so well. I, for one, was mystified, bewildered, beleaguered and bumfuzzled many days. I'm just glad I had others around me who felt the same so I could commiserate without guilt or criticism.

You and me both honey. And I'm willing to bet all the perfect parents on this thread felt like that one time or another too.

To the OP -- your day reminded me a bit of my maternity leaves....you'd finally get it right, and it was time to go back to work again. Don't fret, you are completely normal and I assure you your kids will not think any less of you in the long run! Just the fact you are worried about it tells me all I need to know -- you know you aren't perfect, but are doing the best you can. Keep up the good work and enjoy your time off with your little ones.

 

[va32h]

That doesn't mean that the OP doesn't want to reach out to others that can understand what she is going through (because she loves them) and hear stories that let her know that she is not alone!!

Which is what the majority of the posts is this thread have done. To get upset about all the "mean" posts, when all of two - maybe three people have said anything not 100% agreeing with the OP is just ridiculous.

I guess I am one of the "mean" ones, because no, I don't think it is especially hard to take care of my children.

I'm not going to apologize for that. Yes, I remember what newborns were like, all of mine started out as newborns. Perhaps I was just extremely lucky and had easy babies. Perhaps I just decided to have the attitude that taking care of kids was not something to be afraid of, horrified by, or dreaded.

Since the dawn of time, women have raised their children. Lots of them. More than we have, with far fewer conveniences. A few generations ago, having babies wasn't something you planned, researched, analyzed, prepared for, took seminars about, or read books about. You just did it. Young women who never read a parenting book or took a class. Heck, go back a hundred years or more and you'll find women who didn't even learn to read, and they were able to successfully raise their children (and bake bread, do laundry by hand, sew wardrobes for their entire families, and tend a farm.)

Being able to complain about how hard it is to raise children is a luxury that we have in modern times.

I'm sorry if I ruined the OP's vent. We all have moments when we are tired of doing this. I'm not suggesting anyone is a bad parent. I'm just suggesting perspective here.

 

[snoopy]

Which is what the majority of the posts is this thread have done. To get upset about all the "mean" posts, when all of two - maybe three people have said anything not 100% agreeing with the OP is just ridiculous.

I guess I am one of the "mean" ones, because no, I don't think it is especially hard to take care of my children.

I'm not going to apologize for that. Yes, I remember what newborns were like, all of mine started out as newborns. Perhaps I was just extremely lucky and had easy babies. Perhaps I just decided to have the attitude that taking care of kids was not something to be afraid of, horrified by, or dreaded.

Since the dawn of time, women have raised their children. Lots of them. More than we have, with far fewer conveniences. A few generations ago, having babies wasn't something you planned, researched, analyzed, prepared for, took seminars about, or read books about. You just did it. Young women who never read a parenting book or took a class. Heck, go back a hundred years or more and you'll find women who didn't even learn to read, and they were able to successfully raise their children (and bake bread, do laundry by hand, sew wardrobes for their entire families, and tend a farm.)

Being able to complain about how hard it is to raise children is a luxury that we have in modern times.

I'm sorry if I ruined the OP's vent. We all have moments when we are tired of doing this. I'm not suggesting anyone is a bad parent. I'm just suggesting perspective here.

I usually agree with your posts, but I think you are being a little harsh. First and foremost, she was just venting a bit. Its not earth shattering, we all do it ocassionally. Second of all, you yourself said you had easy babies.......go a few nights without any sleep with a colicky baby and having a toddler in addition to that colicky baby and you might not find it so easy. Thirdly, back in our parent's generation and the generations before them, women looked out for each other. Extended families living nearby or in the same house were the norm. Many women feel isolated today, as more and more couples are now working outside the home and the older generation is working well into their 60s and 70s. Grandma is no longer around to help out in most cases. You can't compare how it was done then to how its done today, because times have changed.

 

[DisneyPhD]

I usually agree with your posts, but I think you are being a little harsh. First and foremost, she was just venting a bit. Its not earth shattering, we all do it ocassionally. Second of all, you yourself said you had easy babies.......go a few nights without any sleep with a colicky baby and having a toddler in addition to that colicky baby and you might not find it so easy. Thirdly, back in our parent's generation and the generations before them, women looked out for each other. Extended families living nearby or in the same house were the norm. Many women feel isolated today, as more and more couples are now working outside the home and the older generation is working well into their 60s and 70s. Grandma is no longer around to help out in most cases. You can't compare how it was done then to how its done today, because times have changed.

very true, well said.

 

[RitaZ.]

Thirdly, back in our parent's generation and the generations before them, women looked out for each other. Extended families living nearby or in the same house were the norm. Many women feel isolated today, as more and more couples are now working outside the home and the older generation is working well into their 60s and 70s. Grandma is no longer around to help out in most cases. You can't compare how it was done then to how its done today, because times have changed.

This is true. I remember when my brothers were born; my grandmother, my aunts and my mom's SIL were all there to help. My mom didn't even have to ask, they just showed up at our house and somehow knew what had to be done and did it. It's great to have a support system, it certainly makes life less overwhelming for mom.

To the OP, it will get better. I remember those days well and I'm glad they are over. I remember when DS#2 was born, our oldest son decided that while I nursed his brother it would be a "good idea" to empty a large tube of Desitin all over his room (walls, carpet, bed, toys, books... I'll never forget what the room looked like, that wasn't a good day at our house.

I was at Kmart with DD yesterday and the woman in front of me had a baby (about 1 month old) in a carrier and two active boys with her. The poor woman looked really tired, I remember having days like that. Being that women are strong by nature, we keep pushing forth and we get through it. Vent all you want, we've all been there.

Raising children is hard work, I don't care what anyone says.

 

[Jamesbyr]

I don't know how you gals do it. All respect to you all.