SAHM....How do you do it? My morning so far....

[hokiefan33]

Then why did you keep reading?

B/c it's my right too, just like everyone's right to disagree with me.

 

[hokiefan33]

And I think you did go to far. It was a very rude comment. You didn't state an opinion you bashed the OP for no reason.

I did state an opinion - actually, I asked a question (why?) but have only been based in return. Is it OK for others to say my comments are bad, b/c that's their opinion, but not OK for me to say I don't agree with other's comments, b/c that's my opinion? Hmmm...

 

[leighe]

I teach high school.

I rould rather do that than stay home with 3 kids.

Enough said.




You are very brave!!!!!

ITA. My baby isn't here yet and I'm pretty sure I would go crazy as a SAHM. I admire them so much! I can remember all the chaos my brother and sister and I were able to cause when my mom was home with us. We were watching old videos the last time I was at home and it was just crazy - DB and I would be fighting then trying to pull one of DS's arms off or just dragging her around - making her cry. Whenever one of us was out of the video for even a second you would hear a crash or someone say, "Um, Mom . . " and it was pretty obvious something had gone on in another room that shouldn't have. And this is when the video camera was out so we were supposedly on our best behavior! My mom says she can't even imagine how she did it now.

 

[dis ms.]

B/c it's my right too, just like everyone's right to disagree with me.

Yep. Just like it's the OP's right to have 20 kids if she chooses (without having to explain herself to you).

BTW, anybody that chooses to be a mom has a right to complain once in a while. Everyone complains about their jobs sometimes and motherhood is one of the toughest jobs out there.

 

[DisneyPhD]

So why did you keep having kids, then?

Ok, comments like that make me think maybe someones mom should of stopped before she had them.........

My mom had 3 boys and then finally had me. I don't know what she was thinking, or how she did it, but I am glad she didn't stop when it got tough.

 

[joshua121301]

I am living in your world and I am the DH!! My DW is a SAHM and we have 2 DS's and a new DD, and the oldest is three. It truely is a sight to be seen in the morning. I have been assigned to two DS's in the morning. We have the oldest in JR Pre K,and the 2 years old in a seperate Pre-School program. I get up at 6:30 AM and begin the morning by shaving, then I clean up the bottles from the overnight fun and sterilize and fill for the day. Then I awaken the boys to a 15 minutes discussion about why they should get into the shower. We installed a giant multi-head shower room so that I can wrangle both of them and myself into the shower at the same time. Then it is time to make breakfast, dress boys, dress myself, kiss mom and baby and hit the door. Off to DS3's school, unload everyone, talk to teacher, and reload DS2, then off to DS2's school for a repeat. Then off to work. Starting at 6:30 AM and I just arrived thirty minutes ago at 10:30 AM. Four hours to start the day!! Doctor appointment for flu shots today at 3:00, so leave the office at 1:30 to pick up DS2. DW will pick up DS3 and cart DD0 with her and meet at the doctors. After doctor home to attempt to clean, then dinner, then reading and play time with boys, then 15 minutes conversation about bed time. Then prepare new bottles for overnight, and begin to wind down DD0. Bed at 10:00 PM, awake at 1:00 AM,l awake at 5:00 Am, then alarm at 6:30AM. Let's do it again. Saturday will be here soon and we can load up and go to Disneyland!! Why have more kids??? Because we love them!!! That doesn't mean that the OP doesn't want to reach out to others that can understand what she is going through (because she loves them) and hear stories that let her know that she is not alone!!

 

[va32h]

Sorry, I can't join in the "oh it's so tough to be a stay at home mom" singalong. I have three kids myself, all under 10, and I have always been able to take a daily shower, and my house is always reasonably tidy, and I am not tearing my hair out at the end of the day. This includes the 18 month period when my husband was out of the country, and I was the only adult in the house.

It's as difficult or as easy as you choose to make it.

 

[hokiefan33]

Sorry, I can't join in the "oh it's so tough to be a stay at home mom" singalong. I have three kids myself, all under 10, and I have always been able to take a daily shower, and my house is always reasonably tidy, and I am not tearing my hair out at the end of the day. This includes the 18 month period when my husband was out of the country, and I was the only adult in the house.

It's as difficult or as easy as you choose to make it.

Amen, sister, preach on. It's all how you choose to handle it.

 

[Sandcass]

Joshua ~ I think I love you!

Just kidding, but you said exactly what I would have said. And you seem like a fantastic father! It is crazy having kids, especially when a new baby joins the family. But everybody here would agree that they are worth every crazy second!

Keep up the good work

 

[MamaLema]

So why did you keep having kids, then?

Kids are wonderful most of the time. Every now and then we have a really bad morning, day, etc. where the kids drive you nuts and you just want to vent a little without being questioned or flamed

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Sorry, I can't join in the "oh it's so tough to be a stay at home mom" singalong. I have three kids myself, all under 10, and I have always been able to take a daily shower, and my house is always reasonably tidy, and I am not tearing my hair out at the end of the day. This includes the 18 month period when my husband was out of the country, and I was the only adult in the house.

It's as difficult or as easy as you choose to make it.

No offense to the OP--but this is my thinking as well.

You can be a SAHM (or a Working mom at home on maternity leave) without pulling your hair out.

Routines can be your friend--and part of the routine for your kids should include mom time to take a shower.

My youngest was fastened in a car seat while her older sib was playing so that I could take a shower. Now it isn't the long and lenghty 20 minute plus showers..but enough to get clean and refreshed.

It's trial and error to see what works and what doesn't....but if you spend all day everyday trying to entertain the kids, then yes I could see how you could be pulling your hair out. And that's usually b/c mom forgot about one person---herself.

My houses only fall to pieces when I get sick--and that's just a sucky side affect of being sick and not a direct result of having small children in the house.

Hubby has done one 6 month field assignment when the youngest wasn't even a year old and now he's been gone for 3 months...He wasn't supposed to be finished until July, but willl probably finish sooner as he is switching locations and projects.

Edited--see you have 4 kids, so nevermind on that one. Sounds like taking a shower before dad goes to work or having sesame street on for the 5 and 3yo so you can shower with the baby in the bathroom would be the way to go.

Get a routine going and you will find it a bit easier. Routine will be very important when you go back to work as well. Good luck!

 

[kidshop]

I have always told my girlfriend who is a SAHM, it takes a special person because I don't believe I could do it full-time.

I kind of like it. Yes, I know that makes me a freak. . My first 2 are 3 1/2 years apart and I'm not yet ready for #3, though ds2 will be 3 in 2 weeks. I know my personal tolerance for chaos! I like going to the park and doing other kid-oriented things. A newborn is tough, and lack of sleep is a killer. I miss those days and dread them all at once! Ahhh, but they are fleeting...

 

[coolmom99]

Sorry, I can't join in the "oh it's so tough to be a stay at home mom" singalong. I have three kids myself, all under 10, and I have always been able to take a daily shower, and my house is always reasonably tidy, and I am not tearing my hair out at the end of the day. This includes the 18 month period when my husband was out of the country, and I was the only adult in the house.

It's as difficult or as easy as you choose to make it.

I'm with you. I think that the key to everything is being organized and having a routine. I always made sure that I was up before the kids so I could take a shower. They had a routine so I knew when they would wake up. I took advantage of nap times to clean. Try to establish a routine and you will find things much easier.

 

[DisneyPhD]

Oh I love being a SAHM, I have done both and I am happy to be at home now. However the OP was commenting on how hard it was at 1st and just looking for some support and encouragment. It does get better.

Part of it is having a new born. That takes a lot of adjustment for the whole family, the other needs need more attention because they are unsure and it just takes a while.

Routine help, but whenever my kids find a patteren of naps etc.. they change. We have ones, but we are also very flexible and go with the flow too.

 

[minkydog]

Oh, come on, lighten up ladies. i was a SAHM for many years--it wasn't all wine & roses . I loved being with my kids, heck I homeschooled them for 12 years. It's hard, hard work, especially when you have a newborn, like the OP. Remember newborns?

It's very true about having a routine. This is probably the thing that sets apart the SAHMs from the occasionally-SAHM--the routine is down. It makes all the difference. Of course, I never had a routine down pat when i had preschoolers and a brand new baby. But by 3-4 months I did and then things went pretty well.

I don't think anyone is bashing kids. All of us love our kids and some will go on to have more. The fact that a SAHM is having a bad day and is feeling overwhelmed does not negate the fact that she is crazy about her kids. Let her blow off some steam, for crying out loud~

 

[grlpwrd]

The OP is on maternity leave, not a SAHM, with a newborn.

It's obvious there is no routine yet as with a newborn it takes time.

Can't a gal get some compassion around here??? ...

minkydog, we posted at around the same time. You said it better than I did... I'm just pressed for time as I have dinner cooking and I have to nurse my 3 mo dd.

 

[DisneyPhD]

Oh, come on, lighten up ladies. i was a SAHM for many years--it wasn't all wine & roses . I loved being with my kids, heck I homeschooled them for 12 years. It's hard, hard work, especially when you have a newborn, like the OP. Remember newborns?

It's very true about having a routine. This is probably the thing that sets apart the SAHMs from the occasionally-SAHM--the routine is down. It makes all the difference. Of course, I never had a routine down pat when i had preschoolers and a brand new baby. But by 3-4 months I did and then things went pretty well.

I don't think anyone is bashing kids. All of us love our kids and some will go on to have more. The fact that a SAHM is having a bad day and is feeling overwhelmed does not negate the fact that she is crazy about her kids. Let her blow off some steam, for crying out loud~

Ya, what she said.

 

[huey duey & luey]

So why did you keep having kids, then?

because thankfully the hugs, kisses, smiles and I love you mommy FAR outweigh the trying days!

 

[gina2000]

Tough crowd.

Good luck and I hope better days are coming, OP. I certainly can remember moments when I wanted to lock myself in the bathroom and howl til the hogs came home.

So glad the rest of you handled everything so well. I, for one, was mystified, bewildered, beleaguered and bumfuzzled many days. I'm just glad I had others around me who felt the same so I could commiserate without guilt or criticism.

 

[tiff211]

We are all still alive. DD3 picked up right where she left off before daycare. I now need to buy shampoo, body wash, shaving lotion, regualr lotion and hairspray! Let's just put it this way, I need to go post on the "bad parents support thread" now. Of all days, DH PICKS TODAY TO COME HOME LATE??????!!!!!!!! Thanks for the moral support!

GASP! It just dawned on me, the three of them will be teenagers at the same time!!!!