S/O: Differences in age for dating/marriage????

[DawnM]

I was 44 when my husband and I got married. He was 24. We've been married 21 years.

Interesting.

BTW: What does DGD mean?

And what does VDGD mean?

Here is your signature:

MeDH DGD(17)DGD(11)DGD(8)VDGD(5)

 

[manning]

My dad was 10 years older than my mom. Grandpa (mom's dad) was 11 years older than grandma.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

I have an uncle who will be 67 in December. He regularly dates women in their 30s (younger than his 37-year-old daughter).

I've always been attracted to men who are "significantly" older than me and was often told I'd probably end up with one. When I was 34 and re-entering the dating scene, I was often matched to men in their late 40s and even some 50-year-olds. I ended up with someone 2 weeks younger than me!

And then on the other side...some friends of ours have an 11-and-a-half year age difference. They've been married as long as us (5 years).

 

[piglet too]

Know someone who is 19, pregnant and engaged to a 48 yr old. They seem very happy, and in the grand scheme of things, that is what matters.

 

[low-key]

for a serious long term relationship 10 years is about max, but if it just for fun, have fun

 

[ronandannette]

My mom was 11 years younger than my step father. Two of the four kids they had together were born when my mom was in her early 40s and he was in his early 50s. He was seriously ill the last four years of his life and she took on full-time care of him while running her own business. It took a huge toll on her. While I am sure she wouldn't trade her years with him for anything, it's sad that marrying an older man increased the possibility that she would outlive him by many years and that their two youngest children had to lose their father while still young.

I am very grateful that I found someone my own age. I don't think age matters once people are adults, but it's huge when both of those adults get older and one is extremely older than the other.

If memory serves, I got skewered pretty severely the last time we discussed this on the CB but I 100% agree with your post because I may end up living it. We married when I was 29 and DH was in his early 40's. Now that DH is in his 60's and I'm...not, it's readily apparent that if nature takes it's normal course, I will end up caring for him in the future. I am dreading it.

At the other end of the spectrum, our DS (just turned 20) has begun spending a lot of time with a 16 y.o. young lady. They are quite well suited maturity-wise and are peers in a number of activities related to common interests, but still 20/16 is 20/16. 22/18 would be quite different and at 24/20 nobody bats an eyelash. We're concerned.

 

[goofyernmost]

My dad is 63, I can't imagine dating someone his age at my age (39) let alone at 24. What could you possibly have in common?

It has been my experience that in an age difference like that, no matter which one is the oldest, the thing that they both have in common is knowing the location of the bank books.

When I got married I was just shy of 24 and my wife was just shy of 31. (8 years) We had a fairly good life together. We were almost two different generations so many of our interests didn't really connect well, but, we raised a family and built a life together. Then after the kids had grown up and married, she (surprise) decided that she didn't want to be married anymore so we divorced after 29 years together. She went her way, I went mine and we only saw each other at family holidays and then only briefly. About a month ago she passed away due to complications of a stroke. We had been divorced for 16 years, but, it still emotionally hit me about how I, all of a sudden, felt totally alone. My kids are close by, but, it's like something is missing. Life takes some strange turns sometimes.

 

[Bluestars]

If memory serves, I got skewered pretty severely the last time we discussed this on the CB but I 100% agree with your post because I may end up living it. We married when I was 29 and DH was in his early 40's. Now that DH is in his 60's and I'm...not, it's readily apparent that if nature takes it's normal course, I will end up caring for him in the future. I am dreading it.

At the other end of the spectrum, our DS (just turned 20) has begun spending a lot of time with a 16 y.o. young lady. They are quite well suited maturity-wise and are peers in a number of activities related to common interests, but still 20/16 is 20/16. 22/18 would be quite different and at 24/20 nobody bats an eyelash. We're concerned.

My grandparents on my dad's side were married when my grandmother was only 15 and he was 21. Can you imagine that now? They were married for Seventy-one years before he died. She died only two years later.

 

[Vijoge]

Interesting.

BTW: What does DGD mean?

And what does VDGD mean?

Here is your signature:

MeDH DGD(17)DGD(11)DGD(8)VDGD(5)

DGD is darling granddaughter. VDGD is our VERY darling granddaughter. She's five lol

 

[wenrob]

Interesting.

BTW: What does DGD mean?

And what does VDGD mean?

Here is your signature:

MeDH DGD(17)DGD(11)DGD(8)VDGD(5)

DGD- Dear Granddaughter? VDGD- Very Dear Granddaughter?

When I was young I had a tendency to date guys 3-4 years older than myself. Very briefly at 16 I dated a guy who was 32. I couldn't get over that he was only a year younger than my Dad. Plus he treated me like a showpiece to show off to his friends. Only lasted until we went to the Judas Priest show he promised to take me to. I ended up marrying a guy three months younger than me.

I think oldest DD will end up with someone a few years older, she doesn't seem to have the patience for guys her age. I would hope it wouldn't be more than ten years for all the reasons given above. That said, my Dad and Stepmother are 66 and 65 and Dad is very ill. Stepmom does the majority of his care giving. On the flip both my grandmothers lived on their own and took care of themselves until the ages of 84 and 86. My paternal grandma passed in her own home and maternal of dementia shortly after she was moved to a facility. Both grandfathers died very young, 52 and 62. You just never know what hand life will deal you until you get there.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

My best friend got married two years ago when she was 26 (though she was a few months away from being 27) and he was 39 (though he had just turned 39 a few months before)=13 year difference (really around 12 1/2).

To me it's more about stages in your life really. There are people who find themselves at the same stage of life together even with the age difference.

He was nearing 40 when they got married and isn't interested in having children at his age. She is really wanting children now now now and has been vocal about it for quite some time. Perhaps he might bend and have kids with her but it seems more like he would be appeasing her rather than actually wanting children. She says all the time "I wouldn't mind being barefoot and pregnant". They did date for over 4 years but had a 2 month engagement and the wedding was a quick one where she traveled to meet him while he was out at a job site for 2 weeks.

The thing is I don't see any way she would ever divorce him...I could see him getting tired and divorcing her but not the other way around. I love my friend to death but she is a doormat when it comes to relationships (nowhere else in her life just relationships). He already cheated on her before they got engaged. He was e-mailing a female, who lived in a state he frequently had to go to work at for a week or two at a time at his last job, and the content of those e-mails were NSFW type content. She doesn't really know if he just e-mailed or did anything else; she's just taking his word for it.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

It has been my experience that in an age difference like that, no matter which one is the oldest, the thing that they both have in common is knowing the location of the bank books.

When I got married I was just shy of 24 and my wife was just shy of 31. (8 years) We had a fairly good life together. We were almost two different generations so many of our interests didn't really connect well, but, we raised a family and built a life together. Then after the kids had grown up and married, she (surprise) decided that she didn't want to be married anymore so we divorced after 29 years together. She went her way, I went mine and we only saw each other at family holidays and then only briefly. About a month ago she passed away due to complications of a stroke. We had been divorced for 16 years, but, it still emotionally hit me about how I, all of a sudden, felt totally alone. My kids are close by, but, it's like something is missing. Life takes some strange turns sometimes.

Regardless of how your situation turned out I'm sorry for your loss

 

[kimblebee]

If memory serves, I got skewered pretty severely the last time we discussed this on the CB but I 100% agree with your post because I may end up living it. We married when I was 29 and DH was in his early 40's. Now that DH is in his 60's and I'm...not, it's readily apparent that if nature takes it's normal course, I will end up caring for him in the future. I am dreading it.

At the other end of the spectrum, our DS (just turned 20) has begun spending a lot of time with a 16 y.o. young lady. They are quite well suited maturity-wise and are peers in a number of activities related to common interests, but still 20/16 is 20/16. 22/18 would be quite different and at 24/20 nobody bats an eyelash. We're concerned.

I'm with you. My daughter is 16 and her boyfriend is 18. They met when they were both a year younger BUT he turned 18 a few weeks before she turned 16. Even though I had met him a few times, it was still weird to me. Luckily, his parents had the same talk with him that I had with her...he's an adult, and you're not, there are laws in place for a reason. Not that they're doing anything, but I still wanted them to be aware that I was watching. They're both nerds and geeky so I'm not too worried lol

 

[ronandannette]

I'm with you. My daughter is 16 and her boyfriend is 18. They met when they were both a year younger BUT he turned 18 a few weeks before she turned 16. Even though I had met him a few times, it was still weird to me. Luckily, his parents had the same talk with him that I had with her...he's an adult, and you're not, there are laws in place for a reason. Not that they're doing anything, but I still wanted them to be aware that I was watching. They're both nerds and geeky so I'm not too worried lol

They haven't declared BF/GF status yet (you know, they're not "Facebook-official" or anything) but they seem to be going past the friend stage. We've been at least loosely acquainted with the parents of all his friends from HS and church but in the past year or two his interests have branched out. We don't know this family at all, so I've no way to know how her parents might view this. And as you mentioned, he's an "adult" and she isn't. Like I said, we're concerned.

 

[Marchand63]

Well we have/had 2 large age differences one working great the other not so much.

Mt xH was 11 years older I was 19 he was 30. Yeah the one that didn't work so much. But good news when we divorced his next xW was also 19 when they married. Oh & Xw #3 was 20 he was almost 40 - sensing a pattern.

My DS married a woman 10 years older, 14 years later still going happily along.

 

[BigAlsGal]

Well my parents were 20 years apart in age. They were married for 36 years when my dad started to lose his mind and crumble from illness. She had to bury him and is now attempting to move on. Im sure that wasn't a big worry when my dad was 40 and she was 20. Eventually the age does makes a difference.

 

[jevs]

I've never been too fussed about age, I either like someone or I don't. That said, I tend to gravitate towards older men probably because their emotional intelligence matches mine. I'm not dating at the moment - all my focus is on my cats but I'd be comfortable up to a 15 year age gap with them being older.

I did date a man who was 36 when I was 21 - we may as well have come from different planets, I was SO not ready for the kind of commitment he was seeking at the time. My XH was 9 years older, no issue there - the end of the marriage had zero to do with age and whatnot.

Whatever floats your boat, I guess.

 

[Disney Doll]

I wouldn't go much past 10 years in either direction.

It has been my experience that the commonalities you have with another person start to shrink around them. You both come from different perspectives and frames of reference, which are difficult to get past.

I've known several younger women/older man scenarios. A young woman in her 20s starting life and an older man in his 40s starting to plan retirement. She wants children, he doesn't. He's paternalistic, she hates it.

The younger man/older woman scenarios I've known usually end up with the man cheating with someone younger as his wife ages and the mystique of the "experienced older woman" wears off.

 

[tvguy]

Well my parents were 20 years apart in age. They were married for 36 years when my dad started to lose his mind and crumble from illness. She had to bury him and is now attempting to move on. Im sure that wasn't a big worry when my dad was 40 and she was 20. Eventually the age does makes a difference.

Only 13 years difference between my parents, but my dad passed away at age 56 of cancer, when mom was 43. They were married 17 years. Mom was widowed 46 years before she passed away.

 

[DawnM]

DGD is darling granddaughter. VDGD is our VERY darling granddaughter. She's five lol

Ah, ok.