Run like the wind bulls eye!

[Katie Little]

Training Update Week 23! (not including Sunday)

Total miles ran – 1
Month to date – 7.55
Year to date –150.43

Planned work outs:

Rest, relax and I have fun. I may run a little and I may not. We’ll see what happens.

Missed workouts – I mean… I believe that in the biz is what we call setting yourself up for success!! lol

Things I learned this week – Since I sat on my butt and watched Big Bang Theory all week, I wanted to do something a little different here. Instead of things I learned, I made a list of things I love (genuinely love) about being a back of the pack runner.

1) There is a bigger crowd cheering for you at the finish line. Not only do you have the spectators but you also have all the runners who finished before you to cheer you on.

2) You don’t have to wait a super long time for the awards to start!

2b) If you had a rough race and don’t want to stay for the awards you don’t have too – you know you didn’t place. (Although, it is my opinion that you really should stay. Those first place people didn’t have the crowd cheering for them when they crossed the finish line, so we should make up for it when we are cheering for their awards – plus it’s inspiring.)

3) There typically aren’t that many other people in the back ground of your race photos.

4) We’re more chatty in the back of the pack. I’ve walked away from every race this year with a new running friend that I met chatting with on the course.

5) If it’s an out and back course, you get to see the people running on their way back. Of course there are the elite runners, but then you just get to see the super fast normal runners. I love cheering them on and giving high fives. And I especially LOVE when those people give me encouragement. They know what’s up ahead so if they say I can do it, they must be right.

6) As a back of the pack runner, you know you aren’t going to place. I feel like that takes away a little of the competitive stress. You can still be competitive with yourself, but it definitely makes it easier to cope with getting passed. You go in with a different set of expectations.

7) Last but not least! We have the most room for improvement. It’s way easier to go from 17 min miles to 15 min miles than it is to go from 10 min miles to 8 min miles or even 8 to 7.


Other Updates that seem important

I found 2 December races that I’m trying to decide between. One is a Jingle Bell 5k that’s 45 mins away and the other is the Christmas Town Dash (8k) at Busch Gardens Williamsburg. I think I want to do the 8k more, but it’s going to come down to money and getting time approved off for work since that will have to be a weekend trip.

Days till next race – 42 days until the runDisney Virtual Running Shorts (July)

Plan for week 24:

Wednesday - 1.5 miles @ 15/30 sec @ 16:00/18:00 paces
Friday - 1.5 miles @ 15/30 sec @ 16:00/18:00 paces

 

[Katie Little]

Hey! Me again. I've been thinking about this since I posted my last update and I know that it's not a big deal but it's been eating at me so I just have to clear the air. Yes. I made a list of thing I love about being a back of the pack runner. But, I was in no way trying to say that the back of the pack is better than the front or the middle. I simply made that list as a way to focus on the positives of where I personally am right now.

That's all! I know that none of you guys were offended by that - you've been nothing but sportive to me and my journey! Idk why my brain picked a small little thing like that to over analyze but it did and I've been fighting the urge to make this post all week, but I couldn't take it anymore! So just so you know - that's why I made the list and that's where it came from. I can't wait to be in the front of the pack one day with all you amazing runners!!!

 

[Katie Little]

Training Update Week 24! Happy Father’s Day!!

Total miles ran – 3
Month to date – 10.55
Year to date –153.43
Purple shoes - 151.93
Blue shoes - 1.5

Planned work outs:
Wednesday - 1.5 miles @ 15/30 sec @ 16:00/18:00 paces
Friday - 1.5 miles @ 15/30 sec @ 16:00/18:00 paces

Missed workouts – None. My dad is having some issues and was in the hospital all day Friday. Because I was pre-occupied with that and ended up doing Friday’s run on Saturday.

Things I learned this week –

I thought I would be happy starting a new plan with low mileage at the beginning, but I actually went a little crazy only doing 3 miles this week.

Running is cheaper than therapy. It’s not a replacement for therapy but I definitely left some emotions on the trail Saturday after such a long and emotionally draining weekend. It was so helpful that, if it hadn’t have been 90 degrees, I probably would have went off plan and gone a little longer. But, my husband and dogs came along and the dogs were looking a little worse for wear so we did the minimum and headed home.

Other Updates that seem important

I’m about to have some emotional and schedule challenges. My dad is going to have open heart surgery soon. We won’t know when until Tuesday, but we’ll see what happens.

I got new running shoes!

Days till next race – 35 days until the runDisney Virtual Running Shorts (July)

Plan for week 25:

Monday - 2 miles @ 15/30 sec @ 16:00/18:00 paces

Wednesday - 2 miles @ 15/30 sec @ 16:00/18:00 paces

Friday - 2.5 miles @ 15/30 sec @ 16:00/18:00 paces

 

[DopeyBadger]

Good luck to your Dad. Hoping for the best outcome.

 

[Katie Little]

Good luck to your Dad. Hoping for the best outcome.

Thank you!!

 

[Sleepless Knight]

Hey! Me again. I've been thinking about this since I posted my last update and I know that it's not a big deal but it's been eating at me so I just have to clear the air. Yes. I made a list of thing I love about being a back of the pack runner. But, I was in no way trying to say that the back of the pack is better than the front or the middle. I simply made that list as a way to focus on the positives of where I personally am right now.

That's all! I know that none of you guys were offended by that - you've been nothing but sportive to me and my journey! Idk why my brain picked a small little thing like that to over analyze but it did and I've been fighting the urge to make this post all week, but I couldn't take it anymore! So just so you know - that's why I made the list and that's where it came from. I can't wait to be in the front of the pack one day with all you amazing runners!!!

I too hope all goes well with your dad.

I think your attitude about why you love being a back of the pack runner is very healthy. Hoping, wanting, and working to improve are very good desires. But without a proper perspective and understanding on where you are right now, those desires can lead one to do too much, too soon and risk injury. How many people think they want to start running and so they start running? Except they run way too fast and before long they're injured, exhausted, and done with running permanently.

In many ways, each runner has their own inspiring story of their experience. And we can all become better runners at whatever stage we are in through appreciating those unique stories.

 

[Katie Little]

I too hope all goes well with your dad.

I think your attitude about why you love being a back of the pack runner is very healthy. Hoping, wanting, and working to improve are very good desires. But without a proper perspective and understanding on where you are right now, those desires can lead one to do too much, too soon and risk injury. How many people think they want to start running and so they start running? Except they run way too fast and before long they're injured, exhausted, and done with running permanently.

In many ways, each runner has their own inspiring story of their experience. And we can all become better runners at whatever stage we are in through appreciating those unique stories.

Thank you so much! As a fortune cookie once said "Life is 10% the things that have happened to you and 90% your attitude towards those things." I think that rings true for me in this situation. Running faster would put me at risk of injury and would probably take away from my distance training. So I might as well enjoy where I am!!

 

[ZellyB]

Sending good thoughts for your dad!

 

[Katie Little]

Sending good thoughts for your dad!

Thank you!! Just got back from the doctor and his surgery is on July 6th.

 

[Katie Little]

Training Update Week 25!

Total miles ran – 6.6
Month to date – 17.15
Year to date –160.03
Purple shoes - 151.93
Blue shoes - 8.1

Planned work outs:
Monday - 2 miles @ 15/30 sec @ 16:00/18:00 paces
Wednesday - 2 miles @ 15/30 sec @ 16:00/18:00 paces
Friday - 2.5 miles @ 15/30 sec @ 16:00/18:00 paces

Missed workouts – None, but my dad’s doctor’s appointment was Monday and I wasn’t in the head space to run so I did Monday’s run on Tuesday, Wednesday’s on Thursday and Friday’s on Saturday.

Things I learned this week –

Running with an ingrown toenail sucks! (I mean I pretty much already knew that but I definitely learned it first hand on Thursday!)


Other Updates that seem important


Dad’s surgery is going to be July 6th and I am going to have to be his care taker for his first 2 days at home. So if it’s going to affect my running, It’ll be the week beginning July 8th. The plan right now is to stick to the plan and forgive myself if I have trouble. I’ve never had to deal with anything like this, so it’s kind of hard to plan for and anticipate things.

I’ve been taking a couple new routes in my neighborhood to get some hill training in. The VA 10 miler is a pretty hilly course so just trying to prepare myself.

I haven’t been running in the mornings because of everything that’s been going on, but I’m going to give the early morning runs another go tomorrow. The one day I did it, I didn’t love it in the movement but I really loved having that time back in the evening.

Days till next race – 27 days until the runDisney Virtual Running Shorts (July)

Plan for week 26: < - The official half way mark through the year!

Monday- 2 miles @ 15/30 sec @ 16:00/18:00 paces
Wednesday- 2 miles @ 15/30 sec @ 16:00/18:00 paces
Friday- 3.5 miles @ 15/30 sec @ 16:00/18:00 paces

 

[Katie Little]

Race weekend??!

Guys! I may sign up for a race this weekend.. “But Katie, your plan doesn’t include a race this weekend! You should probably not sign up.” Okay okay, but hear me out! It’s a .5k race!! And no that “.” Was not a typo. It’s a donut run - you show up to a start line, get a race bib and a t-shirt that says “I’m not a runner. If you see me running you should run too because we are being chased.” You run (or walk) 500 yards and then you get free doughnuts.

I’m thinking I go, get the funny t-shirt and wear it at my next race because… irony. Still trying to figure out the logistics behind it.. getting there (it’s only somewhat local) race fees and what not, but I thought that I would share here because it just seems like the kind of fun little event you should tell other runners about. So that exists and I may do it.

 

[Katie Little]

I’m going to work on my weekly updates and get that posted later tonight ir tomorrow. But today’s run almost killed me and I feel like it’s worth it’s own post..

Mistake number 1- I didn’t wake up in time to beat the heat. my back up plan was running this evening; however, my husband ending up having an errand to run and I decided to run while he was gone, so that we had the rest of the day together. This put my run at the hottest part of the day. 90 degrees, morning sun and 100% humidity.

Mistake number 2: running on an empty stomach... I know that this is such a rookie mistake, but to be completely honest most of my runs have been sans food in my body... I’ve never had issues like the ones I had today.

Mistake number 3: I didn’t finish. But in the most annoying way possible. The plan called for 3.5... I did 3.4.. I just didn’t have it in me to run past my house and back to get the last little bit in. My house is on the worst part of the hill so I looked at Strava and just said “good enough.”

I got extremely overheated and I’ve been in a fog all day since then. I have the worlds smallest heat rash on my leg (at least I’m pretty sure that’s what it is), and even started breaking out in hives at one point. I did run “easy” or atleast I thought o was. My normal 17:17 pace was more like 18:30 and I only did the hills once before deciding to stick to the flat part of my neighborhood.

The only other run that’s taken this much out of me was humble creek... although that was more physical exhaustion than this.

Anyway... stay cool guys! If any of you live in Antarctica and would like a roommate for the next 3 months, let me know. I’ll gladly take the freezing temps back.

 

[Katie Little]

Training Update Week 26! <- WOAH We’re half way there.. WOAH lemon and a pear!!

Total miles ran – 7.5
Month to date – 24.65 (June)
Year to date –167.53
Purple shoes - 159.43
Blue shoes - 8.1

Planned work outs:
Monday- 2 miles @ 15/30 sec @ 16:00/18:00 paces
Wednesday- 2 miles @ 15/30 sec @ 16:00/18:00 paces
Friday- 3.5 miles @ 15/30 sec @ 16:00/18:00 paces

Missed workouts – None! Wednesday’s run happened on Thursday due to thunderstorms and Fridays run on Sat.

Things I learned this week –

Thanks to advice from the incredible @DopeyBadger (who told me to focus on the things I can control). I’ve started focusing on things I can and can’t control a lot more. Example - I can’t control the weather; however, I can control what time I wake up in the morning and how early I get my run in. I can’t control the fact that my 10 miler has a 2:30:00 time limit, but I can control the amount of work I put in from now until September.

Everything happens for a reason! To be honest, as I’ve gotten a little more confidence on race day, virtual races just don’t excite me as much as they used to. I was kind of disappointed that I wasn’t going to do the commonwealth games 5k on July 28th. I am excited that I get to do a runDisney event this year, I was just a little disappointed that it wasn’t an in person race. However, I’m glad that it worked out this way, because my dad’s surgery was moved to July 20th. Since I’m doing a virtual run this month, I have a lot more flexibility on when to run it and I don’t have to worry about a race during what I imagine will be a draining week.

As far as races go, turns out I’m a pretty spoiled runner! I was complaining about the run and ride QM to another runner friend of mine. I didn’t complain about it here because I didn’t want to seem negative, but there were a couple things about the race I didn’t love.. The price was one ($85), the medal (snoopy is white with silver accents... and since they use the same medal for all of the run and rides around the country, there is no date on it), It came with a hat but no t-shirt and then I HAD TO PAY FOR MY RACE PHOTOS ($8 for HD digital download and $4 for not HD) !! She laughed at me and let me know that most of this is pretty common place. She thought it was weird that I hadn’t had to buy race pictures before now so I’ve been pretty lucky there. She reminded me that a weekend pass to Kingsdomion is $85 so I basically got to run the race for free. The hat saved my life that race because I forgot to pack one and it was a very wet race. I still stand by my medal complaints… Snoopy’s ears are black not silver (That would never happen at Disney!!) but I wrote the date on the back with a sharpie, and I don’t mind that part as much. Still not a race I would do again because my husband and I realized we just don’t like Kingsdominion anymore, but if rollercoasters are your thing, it’s actually a pretty affordable race.

Other Updates that seem important

Running in the morning didn’t pan out last week. Will for sure try again this week.

I kind of mentioned this in the “Things I learned” part, but I significantly down played the pure panic that ensued when I received the following error message!!
[GALLERY=]10 miler error by Katie Little, on Flickr[/GALLERY]

Yep.. I’m targeted to finish this race 2 mins 37 secs slower than the cut off time; however, a friend did mention that they are lenient about this time and after looking at the last 3 years of results I’d say so. The last place finisher has been over 3 hours for the last 3 years. Never the less, I’m aiming for 2:29:00 because I want to follow the rules and because I’m terrified that this is the one year they are going to take the time limit seriously.

I have a 3.5 mile run scheduled on the 13th. I’m going to count this as my Virtual 5k so that if I need to move things around the week of my dad’s surgery I’ll have a little more flexibility. The plan is still to stick to the plan, but since it’s at the end of the month, I just want to knock out the virtual 5k before craziness happens.

The course of the 10 miler goes on the road that the hospital is on. (I just realized how unsafe that could be, but they’ve done this race for 45 years so I assume they have a plan for emergency vehicles.) Anyway! On the day of my dad’s surgery, I’m scheduled to run 5 miles and that seems like the perfect distraction. I may get my 5 mile long run done on the 10 miler course.

Days till next race – 12 days until the runDisney Virtual Running Shorts (July)

Plan for week 27:

Monday - 2.5 miles @ 15/30 sec @ 16:00/18:00 paces
Wednesday - 2 miles @ 15/30 sec @ 16:00/18:00 paces
Friday - 4 miles @ 15/30 sec @ 16:00/18:00 paces

 

[PaDisneyCouple]

Sending positive energy for your Dad. Hope it all goes well.

I really admire your commitment!! I walked 5 miles on our local rail trail and I thought that because it is mostly shaded and I'm walking it would not be too bad. Wrong! At the end it was upper 80's and I wished I had a towel.

 

[Katie Little]

Sending positive energy for your Dad. Hope it all goes well.

I really admire your commitment!! I walked 5 miles on our local rail trail and I thought that because it is mostly shaded and I'm walking it would not be too bad. Wrong! At the end it was upper 80's and I wished I had a towel.

Thank you so much we really appreciate that!!

This heat is nothing to play with - I wish I hadn't ran when I did Monday. Great job getting your walk in!! The shade is nice, but sometimes if it's too shaded you also have humidity to work against lol. It's pretty much a catch 22 (which is what I wish the temperature was rn.. lol)

 

[Katie Little]

Training Update Week 27!

Total miles ran – 6
Month to date – 6
Year to date –173.53
Purple shoes - 159.43
Blue shoes - 14.1 <- I’ve already ran a half marathon in my new shoes!! Look at that!

Planned work outs:
Monday - 2.5 miles @ 15/30 sec @ 16:00/18:00 paces
Wednesday - 2 miles @ 15/30 sec @ 16:00/18:00 paces
Friday - 4 miles @ 15/30 sec @ 16:00/18:00 paces

Missed workouts – Monday’s run didn’t happen! I was just so tired and exhausted that I decided to run on Tuesday instead. Then on Tuesday I put it off until I didn’t have time to do it.. in hindsight I honestly think that Last Saturday’s run played a huge role in my fatigue all weekend and even on Monday. It was so hot and it’s pretty clear that I had some form of heat exhaustion. I think that even though I ran a 18:29 pace I put in more effort than I should have to survive in the heat. I also did Friday’s run on Saturday because I looked at the weather ahead of time and Saturday was perfect!

Things I learned this week –

With the 4th being Wednesday and the weekend being jam packed with festivities, I’m still learning to take the rest of my life into account with my training. It’s harder than it seems.

Other Updates that seem important

So the last 2 weeks, my pace has been way slower. We’re talking 18 min miles and even 19 min at one point (just a reminder that the goal for these runs is 17:17). I’ve been trying not to be concerned because it’s been a million degrees every day and I’m taking more hilly routes to prepare for the 10 miler. I know that the important thing is that the run feels easy in the moment and that I’m not putting in too much effort. Saturday’s run was not only perfect weather wise (75 degrees, no humidity and a light breeze that made it feel like 70), but my husband and I took the dogs to a completely flat trail. I put my phone in my pocket and didn’t pay it too much attention. I could tell I was running faster than I had been, but when I got the 1 mile alert in my ear I was pleasantly surprised! I was truly running an easy pace and didn’t feel like I was putting in effort at all.. first mile was 15:45! I can’t tell you what happened after that because Strava started doing something weird and ate some of my miles - this would be the one time it messes up. It was nice to see the improvement. Especially since 15:45 is pretty close to my race pace from the quarter marathon.

My Achilles tendon has been hurting after runs lately. It used to hurt when I first started running, but it hasn’t been an issue since I bought my Hoka Arahi’s. The guy at the running store said that was because they have a very small heal drop. I checked my new shoes (the Arahi 2) to make sure they didn’t change the drop and nothing’s different. However, I think the hills I’ve been running simulates a larger drop because of the way my foot is hitting the pavement. I’ve been researching some ankle strength training things and think I need to start fitting that in.

I’ve been weighing in and tracking my food and water every day. I’ve lost 0.9 pounds since last week. So I guess that’s a thing.


Days till next race – 5 days until the runDisney Virtual Running Shorts (July)

Plan for week 27:
Monday - 2.5 miles @ 15/30 sec @ 16:00/18:00 paces
Wednesday - 1.5 mile @ Easy + 0.75 mile @ 60/30 sec @ 13:30/18:00 paces + 1.25 mile @ Easy
Friday - runDisney Virtual 5k

 

[Katie Little]

Run Disney Virtual Rinning Shorts 5k (July) race plan!

Alright.. I have to keep this one at a training pace so I’ve been racking my brain about how to make this virtual 5k special/ how to make it stand out from the rest of my training runs.

There is a road in my neighborhood with a few pretty steep hills. They are steeper than the 10miller corse and a lot of people use that street to train for the 10 miler. I’ve been terrified of it and I’ve been putting it off for a “special occasion.” So... that’s what I’m doing. Lol!

My A goal: finish under an hour.
My B goal: finish under an hour 10 mins.

Also, my training run is 3.5, so I’m going to count the first 3.1 as my time with the remaining .4 as a cool down.

My week got shifted again because I wasn’t feeling well yesterday so this race will be Saturday instead of Friday as planned at the beginning of the week.

 

[Katie Little]

Training Update Week 28!

Total miles ran – 6
Month to date – 12
Year to date –185.53
Purple shoes - 165.43
Blue shoes - 14.1

Planned work outs:
Monday - 2.5 miles @ 15/30 sec @ 16:00/18:00 paces
Wednesday - 1.5 mile @ Easy + 0.75 mile @ 60/30 sec @ 13:30/18:00 paces + 1.25 mile @ Easy
Friday - runDisney Virtual 5k

Missed workouts – I skipped my virtual 5k.. I woke up with a pretty sharp pain in my right knee. I don’t think I injured it running but I think I slept on it weird. I iced it one and off all day and at 6pm it was still hurting. I just knew that it wasn’t going to happen. I’m mad at myself for not doing Wednesday’s run on Wednesday because then I could have done my 5k on Friday as originally planned before the knee pain. I’m mad that I didn’t run and that I didn’t take the 5k as seriously as I would have any other 5k. I don’t know why this training cycle has been so rough for me. The plan is perfect and I’m seeing major improvements with almost every run. I still enjoy it, but the drive to get out there is fleeting fast. I haven’t had a normal week yet, I’m always moving my runs around and I’ve already skipped, and the impending doom of this upcoming week is driving me somewhat crazy. There has been a lot of family drama around my dad’s surgery and I think that I might just be emotionally drained.

Things I learned this week –

Honestly, nothing.

Other Updates that seem important

My knee is feeling much better today.

I haven’t actually done any of the Achilles tendon exercises that I researched but I have taken some less steep routes and the pain has gone away.

I think I need insoles for my shoes. They are pretty perfect and comfy; however, the arches of my feet have been hurting so bad when I run lately.


Days till next race – 6 days until the runDisney Virtual Running Shorts (July) take 2

Plan for week 29:

Monday - 2.5 miles @ 15/30 sec @ 16:00/18:00 paces
Wednesday - 1.5 mile @ Easy + 0.75 mile @ 60/30 sec @ 13:30/18:00 paces + 1.25
mile @ Easy
Friday (Dad’s surgery)- 5 miles @ 15/30 sec @ 16:00/18:00 paces
Saturday - Virtual 5k (at easy/LR)

Question for you guys: My virtual 5k was originally scheduled for this Saturday; however, I moved it to last Friday because this Saturday is the day after my dad’s operation and I don’t know what that is going to look like for me. I did run 3.5 miles on Thursday. If you were in my shoes, would you count that as your virtual 5k time? I don’t feel right about the fact that I didn’t set out with the intent to run that as my 5k. It seems like it’s cheating; however, I’m the one who made up the “run a race every month” goal which means I get to make the rules. I’m still going to try my best to get out there Saturday; however, It’s just so close to the end of the month, if something goes wrong that leaves me with 3 days. The other option is to count Wednesday’s run as my 5k. I guess the good thing about Virtual 5ks is that you can be flexible with the date, but be brutally honest with me. Am I taking advantage and being too flexible with the date?

 

[DopeyBadger]

Question for you guys: My virtual 5k was originally scheduled for this Saturday; however, I moved it to last Friday because this Saturday is the day after my dad’s operation and I don’t know what that is going to look like for me. I did run 3.5 miles on Thursday. If you were in my shoes, would you count that as your virtual 5k time? I don’t feel right about the fact that I didn’t set out with the intent to run that as my 5k. It seems like it’s cheating; however, I’m the one who made up the “run a race every month” goal which means I get to make the rules. I’m still going to try my best to get out there Saturday; however, It’s just so close to the end of the month, if something goes wrong that leaves me with 3 days. The other option is to count Wednesday’s run as my 5k. I guess the good thing about Virtual 5ks is that you can be flexible with the date, but be brutally honest with me. Am I taking advantage and being too flexible with the date?

Seems like it's up to you and whatever you feel comfortable with.

 

[Katie Little]

Hey guys! This entry isn’t going to be directly running related and may be my most rambly post yet.

I’ve been missing a lot of runs lately... a lot. And more recently I’ve just been apathetic about the whole process. I’ve been thinking a lot about what could be bothering me and why things are affecting me as much as they are. Honestly I’ve been feeling emotionaly tapped out recently and I think since running is such an emotional thing for me it’s all a bit much (seriously I cry at least once a week because of running. Mostly good “holy cow I can’t believe I just did that” but nevertheless tears will stream).

When I look over the past 30 days and see what I’ve lived through, there is no wonder I am an emotional wreck! Ive found out my dad has to have open heart surgery and prepared my self for it twice only to have it moved 3 times. My mom and sister have told me my dad is showing signs of dementia and are going to ask if an appointment can be set up with a neurologist once his surgery is done. My husband and I have booked next years vacation and there has been a pregnancy scare that revealed a lot of feelings I didn’t know I had.

So Daddy issues. I’ve been struggling with the dementia piece a lot and found my self at one point thinking that his surgery seems pointless if he’s just going to have a long road of suffering ahead of him. But then there’s guilt associated with that because I definitely don’t want my dad to die, but isn’t that kinda what I just said??? Like I just don’t want him to suffer. Of course the demmentia symptoms are just that... symptom and they could be caused by a lack of oxygen (he does have 3 major blockages you know). But in my head for whatever reason I keep acting like he has demmentia. This morning was especially rough for me because there has been a lot of drama around my dads surgery so I had been focusing on that for so long that it just hit me this morning that tomorrow someone would be cutting my dads chest open... that was until I got a call from my mother informing me that someone had a heart attack last night and is now having surgery tomorrow instead of my dad.. so my dads surgery has now been moved for the 3rd time to 8/8/18. That was a major blow. My dads not been doing good already because he’s had too much time to think and be anxious. I know how hard it is for me to wait so I can’t imagine what he’s going through. I feel so helpless and I can’t imagine my dad feeling the same. He’s such a strong and macho type. But I can tell that he is terrified no matter how much he try’s to hide it.

Vacation!! Supposed to be a happy time. But for me it’s a coping mechanism. Whenever something goes bad I just start planning my next Disney vacation. Because in my head, nothing bad happens at Disney. This time; however, instead of planning a Dream Disney vacation I focused on our very real vacation that we are taking next year. It’s my husbands birthday trip and to make it extra special we are going on a cruise to CUBA!!!! It’s super exciting an at first it was the perfect distraction... until we put down our deposit. That was real money, spent on a real trip that we need real passports for because we are really leaving the country for the first time to go to a real communist country that has real weird stipulations and a little be of real fear. For someone whose never even left the east coast or been on a plane... that’s a lot of real stress. A good stress and I’m not complaining about my first world problems at all.. just saying that in hindsight it probably wasn’t the best time to take this on.

Pregnancy scare... I’ve always wanted kids. There’s no question there. But for the week that I thought it was actually happening I realized not any time soon.. which just opens a lot of questions of “if not now then when?” Which is a big desision that has a pin in it right now but just knowing that it’s there is driving me nuts. If you’ve read this journal for any amount of time it’s pretty obvious that I am a planner so that kind of thing really weighs me down.

With all of that out in the open and typed out.. I’m not surprised that running has moved to the back burner. I didn’t realize how much stress I was putting on my self.

Moving forward... My priorities are faith and Family, running and critical vacation planning. Family.. I can’t change the date of my dads surgery and I can’t do anything about it being moved. I can try my best to think positive thoughts and talk out any negative feelings with my husband and maybe even a theropist. As for running, my plan is simple and kind of cliché... Just do it. Even if I’m scheduled for 5 miles and only get 1 in that’s better than none. Some of my favorite runs have been ones where I just go and don’t think about anything. I think that running could actually be pretty therapeutic for me- I just have to force myself to get started. And by Crucial vacation planning.. I lirally just mean getting out passports. You have to have one for 6 months before visiting so we need to jump on that and get the ball rolling.

That’s pretty much my life update. I know it was an overshare and I’m sorry about that. But it felt good to get it all out and I hope that just getting it out of my system will help a lot.