Restaurant servers removing plates from the table before everyone is finished

[bcla]

I don't care if they clear the table in fact I usually prefer it especially at places that give you a million plates to begin with (Cracker Barrel comes to mind).

What I do mind is when you're clearing others plates and then I've just taken my last bite and you're all over me asking to take my plate away before I've finished chewing. I know it's because it's a convenience thing since they are taking others plates away but that does make me feel rushed or more or less uncomfortable. It's a minor thing and doesn't happen too often.

Like a lot of plates? Try a Korean restaurant. Most meals come with appetizers included.

It's a balancing act though. It's really hard to read a customer's mind, so asking is better than assuming. I guess some customers get offended if they're not asked, while some feel annoyed that a server isn't just doing what "seems obvious". Often I like grazing slowly - especially if it's a restaurant with a game on and I'm trying to have some sort of excuse to still be there.

There's no pleasing everybody, so it's hard for met to get upset unless it's something egregious.

 

[yoopermom]

Maybe I'm missing something, but if something bothers you, just speak up.I just don't get the angst some people seem to feel over this stuff.

DS was about 4 when he did speak up, my MIL was flurrying around while the rest of us were waiting patiently at the table. In his sweet little voice he said, "Grandma would you PLEASE sit down or my mommy will NEVER let me eat". Her jaw literally hit the ground, since normally the pack of wolves led by DFIL were 3/4 done with their meal by the time she finally got around to starting hers. Then she would be only partly done, and they'd all hit the ground running since "they" were done.

So no angst on my part, just lots of crazy memories!

Terri

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Like a lot of plates? Try a Korean restaurant. Most meals come with appetizers included.

It's a balancing act though. It's really hard to read a customer's mind, so asking is better than assuming. I guess some customers get offended if they're not asked, while some feel annoyed that a server isn't just doing what "seems obvious". Often I like grazing slowly - especially if it's a restaurant with a game on and I'm trying to have some sort of excuse to still be there.

There's no pleasing everybody, so it's hard for met to get upset unless it's something egregious.

I rarely get upset honestly (the in-laws...they are not exactly the easiest people to dine with; me on the other hand I'm pretty much the easiest). Like I said it's a minor thing but really when I'm still chewing my last bite it's probably not the moment to take my plate...I'd have to swallow my food quickly to even verbally answer..or I'd have to nod while trying to chew my food if you asked me if you could take my plate. That's one instance where it's better to just come back in a few moments and ask at that time to take my plate. But the time for it isn't when my fork hasn't even touched the plate after my last bite and the food is still being chewed.

And I do agree asking is better than assuming. You should really always ask. Really it's just something that comes with time-as in fine tuning how you read people. You're always going to get those people--it happens whenever you work where you're faced with the general public all the time but those people shouldn't become how you interact with the majority. But you pick up on things over time. You can learn how most people will react, etc.

If you're at a place with sports games on the waiter/waitress should know and understand that--you're not supposed to ignore the numerous TVs and therefore it's expected that you might take your time. It's a different environment than say a busy breakfast place where lingering doesn't happen the same way. But you wouldn't expect your waiter to rush you out while a good game is on and if they kept coming back making you feel like you're taking up a table then it's completely understandable if you get a bit annoyed.

 

[Bianca and Bernard]

This thread is making me remember that poster who had a million rules for the server to follow and would deduct from the tip for every "infraction". And she always needed like a gallon of ranch.

I've heard if you chant her name three times, she appears.

Springs1
Springs1
Spri....oh, look! Squirrel!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

When you're the hostess for a meal at home with company, do you remove peoples plates as they finish, or do it all at once when everyone is done? We don't start eating until everyone is eating, and no one gets up (to clean up or be excused) until everyone is done.

Terri

That is nice. When people are finished here they usually leave.

 

[MIGrandma]

I rarely get upset honestly (the in-laws...they are not exactly the easiest people to dine with; me on the other hand I'm pretty much the easiest). Like I said it's a minor thing but really when I'm still chewing my last bite it's probably not the moment to take my plate...I'd have to swallow my food quickly to even verbally answer..or I'd have to nod while trying to chew my food if you asked me if you could take my plate. That's one instance where it's better to just come back in a few moments and ask at that time to take my plate. But the time for it isn't when my fork hasn't even touched the plate after my last bite and the food is still being chewed.

In defense of your server, they may not be able to "come back in a few moments" to ask then if they could take your plate. Now that should be possible if your table is the only table your server is taking care of at the moment, but rarely is that the case. Most servers have at least 6-8 tables, and many have more than that, going at one time. If you're still chewing your food when your server walks by, it could be several minutes before they have the chance to come back. Table #2 may need dessert, table #3 may need drink refills, etc. etc. As a server I never minded if a customer just nodded their yes or no answer if I asked them a question, whether it be if they want their plate removed or if they'd like a drink refill and as a customer I don't mind if my server asks me those questions and I just have to nod my answer because I have a mouthful of food. I don't have a problem with that. But as I said before, and a PP said too, a server can't please everyone as everyone has different opinions on how they want their server to act. And servers aren't mind readers either.

I've heard if you chant her name three times, she appears.

Springs1
Springs1
Spri....oh, look! Squirrel!

So glad you didn't say it a third time, lol!!

I wonder whatever happened to her. I remember a server's board I used to go to years ago, can't even remember the name of it, but she popped in quite often over there. She was quite the piece of work. Maybe she drowned in a vat of Ranch dressing.

 

[Bianca and Bernard]

In defense of your server, they may not be able to "come back in a few moments" to ask then if they could take your plate. Now that should be possible if your table is the only table your server is taking care of at the moment, but rarely is that the case. Most servers have at least 6-8 tables, and many have more than that, going at one time. If you're still chewing your food when your server walks by, it could be several minutes before they have the chance to come back. Table #2 may need dessert, table #3 may need drink refills, etc. etc. As a server I never minded if a customer just nodded their yes or no answer if I asked them a question, whether it be if they want their plate removed or if they'd like a drink refill and as a customer I don't mind if my server asks me those questions and I just have to nod my answer because I have a mouthful of food. I don't have a problem with that. But as I said before, and a PP said too, a server can't please everyone as everyone has different opinions on how they want their server to act. And servers aren't mind readers either.



So glad you didn't say it a third time, lol!!

I wonder whatever happened to her. I remember a server's board I used to go to years ago, can't even remember the name of it, but she popped in quite often over there. She was quite the piece of work. Maybe she drowned in a vat of Ranch dressing.

She's been on Reddit, other boards we don't mention here, tons of server boards and blogs, Flyertalk once (I think)....
I think she was put back on her meds or something.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

In defense of your server, they may not be able to "come back in a few moments" to ask then if they could take your plate. Now that should be possible if your table is the only table your server is taking care of at the moment, but rarely is that the case. Most servers have at least 6-8 tables, and many have more than that, going at one time. If you're still chewing your food when your server walks by, it could be several minutes before they have the chance to come back. Table #2 may need dessert, table #3 may need drink refills, etc. etc. As a server I never minded if a customer just nodded their yes or no answer if I asked them a question, whether it be if they want their plate removed or if they'd like a drink refill and as a customer I don't mind if my server asks me those questions and I just have to nod my answer because I have a mouthful of food. I don't have a problem with that. But as I said before, and a PP said too, a server can't please everyone as everyone has different opinions on how they want their server to act. And servers aren't mind readers either.

There's not really any excuse you could give for actually taking the plate from someone who has just taken their last bite and hasn't even put the fork down.

This really doesn't have to do with pleasing everyone. Not one bit at least what I'm actually talking about. I don't know why it got warped into that as my original comment had nothing about that. Believe me I know very well you cannot please everyone but again that's not what I'm talking about.

You could come up with all the excuses in the book but in reality those 'what ifs' have little bearing on the actual situation that I'm talking about. I'm certaintly not going to get annoyed if the waiter/waitress takes a while to come back and clear my plate in that exact situation..and perhaps you would have more of a case if that were what I was talking about. But that's not what I'm meaning.

 

[manning]

Even "better" - I was in a restaurant with some friends. Our waitress had three tables: a couple she apparently knew well, a table of businessman, and us four middle-aged women (so maybe you can tell which party got the worst service and the least attention?) We started with appetizers. The waitress decided we were through, and took the plates - including one from my friend as she was bringing a forkful of food to her mouth.

If that happened to me she would be lucky to survive.

PS: Owner I will not be coming back and this why.

 

[EveDallas]

I've heard if you chant her name three times, she appears.

Springs1
Springs1
Spri....oh, look! Squirrel!

 

[shoney]

Thank god i was never a waitress When we go out to eat I rarely finish my meal unless it is an upscale restaurant with small portions. When I am finished I put my fork down and push it away. I want the server to come over and take it to pack up my leftovers.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I've never worked as a server and I'd really like to understand the process better. I've always assumed improper timing of courses is caused by the kitchen completing the entrees too quickly and rather than having them sit under heat lamps the servers bring them out. If this isn't how it works please explain, as well as anything else we might need to know that could help us get better service.

Generally speaking, the kitchen shouldn't be firing your entree until your appetizer leaves the window. This way, by the time your entree is ready, you'll likely be finished with the app. Some kitchens have automated expo systems that automatically hold back the entree order and don't send it through until the app has been cleared off the screen and is on its way to your table. This makes it relatively easy to achieve proper course timing. For kitchens that don't have automated expos it can be a bit more difficult to achieve proper course timing because of the human error factor.

As a guest, you can sway the course timing by holding off on placing your entree order until after your app order has been placed (or even received). "Um, yes, we're ready to order our appetizer but still need a few minutes to decide on the entrees."

ETA: The above strategy could backfire and leave you waiting too long between courses if you have the bad luck to have your entree order get stuck behind a rush of orders that came in after your app order. Best not tried on a busy night with a packed house.

 

[dish rag]

Thank god i was never a waitress When we go out to eat I rarely finish my meal unless it is an upscale restaurant with small portions. When I am finished I put my fork down and push it away. I want the server to come over and take it to pack up my leftovers.

Very poor etiquette to push your plate away. Just position your utensils proplerly.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Thank god i was never a waitress When we go out to eat I rarely finish my meal unless it is an upscale restaurant with small portions. When I am finished I put my fork down and push it away. I want the server to come over and take it to pack up my leftovers.

I know. I purposely only eat half. The rest is leftovers for later.

 

[ronandannette]

That is nice. When people are finished here they usually leave.

Surely I'm misunderstanding - you have dinner parties where the guests get up from the table and leave when they are done eating?

 

[Wishing on a star]

MM, I am one who does not eat all of my food, and it is either then offered to my DH or my DS, or we want to take it home for later.
That is why I am really sensitive to the "Hurry and rush and take my plate/food away thing".
There really is no defense, Because, no matter the reason or intentions, it is rude to rush somebody sitting there at a meal. It just is.

The THREE SECOND PAUSE thing I mentioned is what is missing here.
This is what would solve any issues... Whether one wants their plate removed quickly, or not.
Every sit-down restaurant that has servers should tell/train them.

You don't just take a plate away, or grab for it before you even complete a two word sentence... ( "you done....")
The three second pause... "Do you need anything? Would you like dessert? Can I bring to-go box(es), or take your plate(s) for you?"

It really isn't rocket science!!!!

 

[Wishing on a star]

MM, I am thinking that maybe more casual meals are what is being referred to.. not like a dinner party???

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Surely I'm misunderstanding - you have dinner parties where the guests get up from the table and leave when they are done eating?

I don't have "dinner parties". My parties are more informal.

 

[scrapquitler]

If I have finished eating and someone else has not, I prefer to have my empty plate taken away. Then I don't have to look at it, and it's not in my way.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

If I have finished eating and someone else has not, I prefer to have my empty plate taken away. Then I don't have to look at it, and it's not in my way.

That's good thinking. It's all the easier to steal your slow eating spouse's food off their plate without yours in the way.