Restaurant servers removing plates from the table before everyone is finished

[cinnaminny]

My family has been in the restaurant business my entire life and most of my father's life. The rules were: never let anyone wait for their first drink and to be greeted as soon as they sit down, never make anyone wait for their check after they are finished, never leave dirty plates in front of customers - you just ask would you like me to remove that plate so you have more room. People usually don't mind waiting for their food but they hate waiting for their drinks, hate having empty drink glasses, hate waiting for their checks and most people don't like looking at dirty plates.

Same here with my family, plus I waited tables all through my twenties.

I agree with this. And on a related note, I like the fine dining way where they will not bring you your entre until you are finished with your salad. A server shoving a hot plate of food at someone who is still eating their salad is an absolute No-No at nice restaurants.

I don't think most people have very good timing. Most people think anyone can wait tables, and really anyone can, but that doesn't mean they will do it well.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I am with you, OP!!!!
It is rude to rush somebody...
It should be obvious when somebody is finished, and they have laid their utensils across their plate and pushed it back or set it aside.
Other than that, it is just rude. Very rude.

I often do not eat everything on my plate, but will then offer half to my DH or my son.
I should not have to guard my plate until everyone is done!!!
Half the time, anymore, it seems like I feel like I have to guard my food.
You literally need to guard you darned food anymore.
They are like reaching across you, grabbing for your plate, before they finish even asking.
IMHO, that is just not okay.

Any perception of 'rushing' in a full service sit-down restaurant should be avoided.

They feel rushed to get tables cleared as they go...
They then come off as 'rushing' their customers.
It is all about their time and convenience, instead of the paying customer.

NOTE TO ALL WAITSTAFF: Leave my plate alone!!!! I will set my utensils down and push my plate aside, or even towards the edge of the table to be removed, when I am done.

 

[Hikergirl]

I am with you, OP!!!!
It is rude to rush somebody...
It should be obvious when somebody is finished, and they have laid their utensils across their plate and pushed it back or set it aside.
Other than that, it is just rude. Very rude.

I often do not eat everything on my plate, but will then offer half to my DH or my son.
I should not have to guard my plate until everyone is done!!!
Half the time, anymore, it seems like I feel like I have to guard my food.
You literally need to guard you darned food anymore.
They are like reaching across you, grabbing for your plate, before they finish even asking.
IMHO, that is just not okay.

Any perception of 'rushing' in a full service sit-down restaurant should be avoided.

They feel rushed to get tables cleared as they go...
They then come off as 'rushing' their customers.
It is all about their time and convenience, instead of the paying customer.

NOTE TO ALL WAITSTAFF: Leave my plate alone!!!! I will set my utensils down and push my plate aside, or even towards the edge of the table to be removed, when I am done.

It really depends on the customer and their perception. Very rarely do I feel I am being rushed In reality I know I am, it's a restaurant they want tables available for everyone that comes in so those people don't have to wait 40 minutes to be seated.
However if the server is a good server they don't make you feel rushed, and for many clearing plates as people finish their food is good service. Asking me if they can take a plate, is good service. I never have to guard my food, never once in all the years have I gone out has a server reached for my plate as I was eating. Never.
Now, my MIL is a miserable customer, she goes into the restaurant just waiting for something to complain about. Some people are just looking for a problem, and what they perceive isn't actually what is real. Going out to dinner with her is embarrassing.

 

[MIGrandma]

To simply ask seems like good practise for any server - why wouldn't they just always do it? And as for restaurants where the courses aren't properly timed, that's a whole separate issue and I agree it's irksome.

I didn't always ask when I first started waitressing as I was still learning the ropes, and when I saw a plate with trash ON it I assumed they were finished. I was wrong. Just seemed very odd to me to put paper trash onto a plate you were still eating from. Yuck.

I agree with this. And on a related note, I like the fine dining way where they will not bring you your entre until you are finished with your salad. A server shoving a hot plate of food at someone who is still eating their salad is an absolute No-No at nice restaurants.

I agree about putting the entree in front of someone who isn't finished with their salad is a no-no at nice/fine dining restaurants, but we have very few of that type of restaurant in our area. The larger cities have them but we rarely want to pay $30-$40, or more, for one person for dinner unless it's an anniversary. So more often than not the local restaurants, and chains like Applebees, Lonestar, Red Lobster, etc. will quite often bring the entree before salads are finished. Not always, but more often than not. And I'm a slow eater, so DH is always finished with his salad long before I'm finished with mine.

 

[MIGrandma]

I don't think most people have very good timing. Most people think anyone can wait tables, and really anyone can, but that doesn't mean they will do it well.

I thought it would be an easy job, until I started doing it myself. Never realized there is definitely skill to it, at least there is skill involved if the server is a good one.

 

[MIGrandma]

Speaking of a server grabbing your plate before you're finished, reminds me of my friend who went with her family to a nice seafood restaurant. Towards the end of the meal she still had some of the clarified butter in the little dish and she was taking the meat out of the crab legs and putting it INTO that little dish. She had a nice little pile of meat in that dish. She turned to a family member for a second to speak to them and when she turned back her plate was gone...along with that little dish of butter AND crab meat. She was so upset.

 

[tvguy]

Never really thought about it. It just seems to be standard operating procedure in almost every restaurant.

I can see where it could be a sign of attentive "good service", and where it also could be seen as rushing folks.

My wife is of the habit of stacking plates and utensils on the table edge in restaurants as she or I or our kids finish eating, so I guess because of that it wouldn't be an issue.

 

[Bianca and Bernard]

This is one of those little things that always bugged me more than other people. I always felt it's rude for the server to remove plates from the table before everyone is finished. It makes the remaining person/s with a plate feel like they're a slow eater and that they need to hurry it up. It also makes me feel like the server wants us to hurry and get out. Definitely not the sign of a quality restaurant.

I also find it annoying when a server passes by and sees my half eaten plate and asks "can I take your plate from you?". Like if I'm not actually biting into my food the moment they pass by, they assume I'm finished and that I want my plate cleared.

Some restaurants require their servers to "prebus" their tables. If this is the case, they are just trying to follow the rules.

Some restaurants require their servers to bus/clean/reset their own tables (no busboy), so they are trying to stay up on their workload, to drop the time between tables.

Some servers just want to give you more space on your tables, or to keep up on their work.

 

[cluvsdisney]

I agree with this. And on a related note, I like the fine dining way where they will not bring you your entre until you are finished with your salad. A server shoving a hot plate of food at someone who is still eating their salad is an absolute No-No at nice restaurants.

That's a big pet peeve for me. At certain places we just know to wait to order entrees after we receive the salad/appetizer. It shouldn't happen at any restaurant unless you ask for everything at once (sometimes DH & I will split an entree and app and it makes more sense to bring it all out together).

 

[Minnesota!]

It doesn't bug me. I am usually the last or second to last to finish. Also, I hate clutter. So, if all the stuff can be removed from the table, please take it. As soon as my people get done, I start stacking their plates/silverware so that it can get the hell off my table

 

[buzznina]

First; home and restaurants are totally different, normally a restaurant table has limited room on it and can get clogged with plates, drinks etc. I have absolutely no issues with a server making room on our table by taking the plates from the people who are finished eating, I prefer it. So, because someone is a slow eater, everyone else has to have their dirty dish sitting in front of them and not have a clean area in front of them? How does people sitting by their empty plates any different than sitting with just having their drink in front of them. I do agree that they should not ask if your plate still has food on it, but this does not happen to often.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I do not mind being asked, if it seems to be a reasonable assumption that I am finished, and might want my plate taken away.
I don't think many people would mind so awfully much about simply being asked.
That is not what we are talking about here. Not at all.

Here is a tip for ANYONE who is in the service industry.
MASTER THE THREE SECOND PAUSE.....
(yep, I hit the 'bold' button)
Seriously.... this is the art of being respectful that has been sorely lost in today's instant culture. Master the three second pause, and ask respectfully.....

Like I had mentioned... they are reaching over me... before even completing the sentence...
Or, as some have mentioned, not even asking at all.
I am getting so tired of having to guard my food....
In fact, after this thread, I am going to remember to mention it to the servers if it continues to be the norm.
Which it is here... And, I am in the South!

It is 'rushing'.... It is a lack of respect.
No doubt about it.
I don't think that anyone could say anything to convince me otherwise.

 

[Wishing on a star]

And, just to mention the other side... and play devil's advocate here.
One frustrating thing to me was some of us girls were at a restaurant for an occasion.
We were ordering drinks, desserts, and had brought gifts.
Well, it was just one of those bad days there that day.
Our table was literally piled up with dirty plates, glasses, and dishes.
Our waitress just wasn't getting it.
And, we wanted to pull out our gifts... Not on that piled up filthy table.

So, it can go both ways.

 

[NYCgrrl]

Many people dislike staring at a dirty plate (I'm in that club) so I'm all for the wait staff removing it even if the rest of the table isn't finished eating. Generally, I'm the slowest eater at the table so I see no reason for others to suffer over my infamous tardy ways (now only beat by DGD, LOL)and encourage them to order the next course if there is one. I'll catch up if I'm so inclined.

 

[Hikergirl]

I do not mind being asked, if it seems to be a reasonable assumption that I am finished, and might want my plate taken away.
I don't think many people would mind so awfully much about simply being asked.
That is not what we are talking about here. Not at all.

Here is a tip for ANYONE who is in the service industry.
MASTER THE THREE SECOND PAUSE.....
(yep, I hit the 'bold' button)
Seriously.... this is the art of being respectful that has been sorely lost in today's instant culture. Master the three second pause, and ask respectfully.....

Like I had mentioned... they are reaching over me... before even completing the sentence...
Or, as some have mentioned, not even asking at all.
I am getting so tired of having to guard my food....
In fact, after this thread, I am going to remember to mention it to the servers if it continues to be the norm.
Which it is here... And, I am in the South!

It is 'rushing'.... It is a lack of respect.
No doubt about it.
I don't think that anyone could say anything to convince me otherwise.

If you keep having to guard your food then maybe it is just time to find new places to eat at. I can't imagine this happens every single time you go out. There must be some places in your area that don't do that at all
And I totally agree that is rushing and rude, I just find it hard to believe that you encounter this every time you go out to eat.

 

[Wishing on a star]

If you dislike staring at at a 'dirty plate' then simply place your utensils and maybe other things, like paper napkin, over your plate and push it away or aside, or even to the corner of the table where the server will see it and be able to pick it up easily.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Ohhhh good flipping grief..... Seriously.
Here we go again.... No response.... Will not even acknowledge or dignify that with any response. Glad I am heading out to an appointment!!!

 

[Hikergirl]

If you dislike staring at at a 'dirty plate' then simply place your utensils and maybe other things, like paper napkin, over your plate and push it away or aside, or even to the corner of the table where the server will see it and be able to pick it up easily.

LOL, I have a family of 5 there is no table room to do that when we go out. The other night there were 6 of us at dinner, which is not unusual. Besides it is still on the table, I want it removed, not pushed aside (which would end up being in front of someone else).

 

[Hikergirl]

Ohhhh good flipping grief..... Seriously.
Here we go again.... No response.... Will not even acknowledge or dignify that with any response. Glad I am heading out to an appointment!!!

You really have issues with people giving you advice don't you.

 

[mjkacmom]

LOL, I have a family of 5 there is no table room to do that when we go out. The other night there were 6 of us at dinner, which is not unusual. Besides it is still on the table, I want it removed, not pushed aside (which would end up being in front of someone else).

Family of 7, on our last cruise we ate together in the MDR every night. Five teens, unlimited apps and entrees, it was hysterical! But even just going out to a restaurant on land, we are always having to move stuff around to fit everything (bread basket on my lap perhaps).