Restaurant servers removing plates from the table before everyone is finished

[RedAngie]

Even "better" - I was in a restaurant with some friends. Our waitress had three tables: a couple she apparently knew well, a table of businessman, and us four middle-aged women (so maybe you can tell which party got the worst service and the least attention?) We started with appetizers. The waitress decided we were through, and took the plates - including one from my friend as she was bringing a forkful of food to her mouth.

I hope you stiffed that waitress on the tip.

I remember when I first started waiting tables I had a customer who had put wastepaper (from sugar packets and creamer) on her plate so I assumed I could take that one away for her. Nope! She quickly stopped me from taking it, saying "I'm not finished with that!" Yes, the plate still had a small amount of food left on it, but who puts wastepaper directly ON the plate they're eating from?! I thought that was very odd, but it taught me to ASK the customer FIRST if they would like me to remove a plate that I thought they were finished with. Of course unless they were stacked and put to the edge of the table, then I just automatically took them away.

.

I really can't recall a server I've had ever taking away a plate without asking first. Even an obviously empty plate. It's best to ask the customer first. Apparently some people, for whatever reasons, don't WANT their plates taken away.

 

[mrodgers]

When you're the hostess for a meal at home with company, do you remove peoples plates as they finish, or do it all at once when everyone is done? We don't start eating until everyone is eating, and no one gets up (to clean up or be excused) until everyone is done.

Terri

Yes we did. Then again, we had a tiny house, didn't even have a dining room. So, when we had people over, I'm talking 15-20 people for holidays, everyone was sitting everywhere on the couch, at the table that sat between the living room and kitchen, outside on the back porch if it was nice.... We would gather people's plates as we saw them finish in groups of 3 or so.

 

[ronandannette]

Same here with my family, plus I waited tables all through my twenties.



I don't think most people have very good timing. Most people think anyone can wait tables, and really anyone can, but that doesn't mean they will do it well.

I've never worked as a server and I'd really like to understand the process better. I've always assumed improper timing of courses is caused by the kitchen completing the entrees too quickly and rather than having them sit under heat lamps the servers bring them out. If this isn't how it works please explain, as well as anything else we might need to know that could help us get better service.

 

[jiminyC_fan]

I should have taken notes, LOL.

I absolutely want the dirty plates cleared before everyone is finished. Someone suggested to just push the plate or move it to a different location. Heck no. If I am one of the last to eat I don't want a dirty plate hovering around me just because you finished before me. I would much prefer that a dirty plate be removed from the table in a timely manner.

Never heard of flipping a fork. I follow the rule of the eating utensils being placed parallel when finished.

Never have had a plate taken from me without being asked if I was finished.

I don't mind the check coming early. Nothing I hate more than sitting around waiting for the check. If I want dessert or another drink I just speak up when the check arrives.

I've never waited tables but I do feel sorry for them. It's not a job that I would want. Customers are way too demanding, expect too much, lack in manners and don't have patience. You just can't please everyone.

 

[ols386]

I don’t mind if the server takes my plate away, if others are still eating, but I’m not going to get up and leave while others are still eating. Or a lot of times, the server will ask if I’m finished and can she take my plate.

 

[BigAlsGal]

Please take my plate when I'm finished. I usually just pick up all the trash from the table and put it on my plate so they know I'm done.

 

[EveDallas]

This thread is making me remember that poster who had a million rules for the server to follow and would deduct from the tip for every "infraction". And she always needed like a gallon of ranch.

 

[yoopermom]

I've been on the DIS way too long, because this all brings back the memory of us discussing what happens if you have to take your young child to the restroom, and someone suggested making a little sign to keep in your purse that says "NOT DONE EATING" because they had come back from the restroom one time too many just to find out that their (unfinished) plates had been cleared! (And, yes, that happened to me at a Cracker Barrel in mid Florida in the late 90s with DS. But I never made a sign ....)

Terri

 

[NYCgrrl]

I've never worked as a server and I'd really like to understand the process better. I've always assumed improper timing of courses is caused by the kitchen completing the entrees too quickly and rather than having them sit under heat amps the servers bring them out. If this isn't how it works please explain, as well as anything else we might need to know that could help us get better service.

You have a good fundamental idea of how restaurant service works in much of these United States today.

It becomes more complicated as the size and type of restaurant changes. Nowadays, many people are most familiar with the fast food business model. For me that includes establishments like Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Golden Corral as well as Mickey D's, Taco Bell's and Arby's. The difference within the two categories of fast food are myriad but can be simplified by saying service needs differ. At the lower end of the spectrum all courses are given at one time and the service values are low and thus allow for lower labor costs. The next level attempts to serve courses at table and operate on a one shoe fits all timing plan.

Personally, for various reasons, I avoid anything to do with either fast food business model since neither do much for me nutritionally or in the time honoured sense of relaxation.

Were I at a true full service restaurant I would assume the waitstaff knew all the signals for table clearing.

 

[IAHFTPT]

I had no idea I've been doing so many things wrong. I blame my parents for not raising me all upright and stuff.

 

[Hikergirl]

I had no idea I've been doing so many things wrong. I blame my parents for not raising me all upright and stuff.

Upright or uptight?

 

[IAHFTPT]

Upright or uptight?

Let's go with either/or.

 

[NYCgrrl]

I had no idea I've been doing so many things wrong. I blame my parents for not raising me all upright and stuff.

Now, now don't go blaming your antecedents for your inability to pick up on the obvious.

Err but I do wonder about DGD's parents for not teaching her how to use a knife and fork; apparently that was my job.
Her eating out view used to be if you could pick up any ol' protein/starch or veggie with your fingers life was good.
Learning to eat like a late 20th century human being has widen her world view.

Nothing wrong with that for my eyes since she now knows how to eat low, middling, and high.

For my thunk the "uptight vs upright" discussion is fraught with an inability to adapt.

 

[IAHFTPT]

ummm Okay.

 

[NYCgrrl]

ummm Okay.

"Glad you can see another mindset" said in my best non-sarcastic manner.

 

[IAHFTPT]

"Glad you can see another mindset" said in my best non-sarcastic manner.

Okay. Said in my best Captain Literal manner.

 

[Kaytie]

I hope you stiffed that waitress on the tip.

Only time in my entire life. All four of us at that dinner are generous tippers, too.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Is this your routine for a family meal or would you do the same if you had company? I would be made totally uncomfortable by it if I were the guest. Not only would it seem like a clear signal that lingering wasn't welcome, I'd also feel compelled to get up and help - whether or not I'd finished my meal.

My mother-in-law does this a lot. It's honestly uncomfortable. Almost immediately after she's done eating it's up she goes and starts to clean up. It makes me feel like I need to hurry up so she's not waiting 10mins to get another plate washed off and in the dishwasher. On that note it's not uncommon for the dishwasher to be started while the rest of us are still eating. IDK it just makes me feel less..homey I guess. Her youngest daughter does this all the time too. We'll be out for dinner and she just up and leaves knowing her parents will pay the bill, she does this at home too knowing someone else will clean up after her. I find it really rude but I'm used to it.

I grew up that everyone sits and waits til you're all done. Now if you're out and about sometimes one has to leave before the others but it's def. not before everyone has finished eating and it's only when you've been chit chatting for a while.

When I have company over I don't get up to do the dishes until we've been sitting there all done and we're just chit chatting away. Sitting at the table for 30mins+ after everyone is done isn't abnormal when we have guests over so doing the dishes at that point isn't a big deal. The only time I move dishes away from the table is if we have 5 or more people total including us at dinner AND we've had salad and that's because the table just isn't big enough for all the dishes. Even then it's only the salad bowls I bring to the sink but don't start washing them and then go back to the table (it's all of a few feet between the sink which is in the kitchen island and the kitchen table).

Guests don't clean up after themselves but if they are my in-laws it's not as big of a deal if they bring the plates over to the sink, etc. They're family and when I'm at their house I help clean up as well.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I don't care if they clear the table in fact I usually prefer it especially at places that give you a million plates to begin with (Cracker Barrel comes to mind).

What I do mind is when you're clearing others plates and then I've just taken my last bite and you're all over me asking to take my plate away before I've finished chewing. I know it's because it's a convenience thing since they are taking others plates away but that does make me feel rushed or more or less uncomfortable. It's a minor thing and doesn't happen too often.

 

[CarolAnn856]

Maybe I'm missing something, but if something bothers you, just speak up.

If you don't want your plate cleared, ask them to wait. If you need the table cleared, ask them to clear it. If you want to order dessert after the check comes, order dessert. If your wait staff is MIA, get the manager. If you feel rushed, so what? They aren't going to push you out of your chair. If you've experienced poor service multiple times, don't go back or learn to accept it. I just don't get the angst some people seem to feel over this stuff.