Removed!

[daisyduck123]

I have only read the first 2 or 3 posts...but am wondering....is your DH a control-freak about everything? Whew....how mean.

 

[Zandy595]

Wrong, wrong, wrong. I am sorry, but the only way children learn that it is human to make mistakes and the right thing to do is to apologize for them is from their parents. It is better to have the child think that his dad did the right thing or that his dad is not capable of saying the hardest words in the world - "I was wrong and I am sorry."? ...

I agree.

 

[Microcell]

Repeating what many have said, I think no one should clean up their own vomit. I did just this past week decide that DS needed to try to get to the toilet at least. He stops dead in his tracks and spews wherever he is. So when I heard the tell tale sound, we ran to the potty to puke!

 

[Lachesis00]

OK I didn't mean it literally... but I do think the son needs to be apologized to.

 

[Tiziminchac]

I have no children so my opinion probably doesn't mean much to you supermoms. But, if he was just "feeling bad" I would have had him clean it up too. I've been sick, thrown up, and felt fine afterwards. I guess it would depend on how sick the kid was. I don't think it's some shocking, life changing event for the child though. Kissing his feet?It's not like the DH cut out his liver and sold it on the black market for spare change or something.


Flame away!

 

[sajetto]

I think that is cruel to do to a sick little boy. As an adult I haven't made it to the bathroom before and I couldn't have cleaned it up if I wanted to because I was so sick. Your DH owes your son an apology

 

[kimkarli]

WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!! I would never stand for that!!!!! My own DD6 threw up in the bed (and she was sleeping in the bed with me!) last night! It was in no way on purpose! I personally could not be married to man who would treat my child like that. It is just wrong!

 

[YCFAN]

Let's just hope that 40 years from now when the shoe is on the other foot your son doesn't feel the same way as his father does now.

 

[poohandwendy]

Wow, I don't know what to say. That is very cold and there would be some serious words spoken between myself and the husband if he ever did something like that.

I have cleaned my Dhs vomit when he was sick and he has cleaned mine. You do not make a sick person, young or old, deal with cleaning a mess when they are that ill.

JMHO.

 

[Maryr1]

I see this as emotionally abusive. Is this typical behavior for your husband? Sick children need comfort and support.When my 30 yo sister was getting chemo, I cleaned up more puke than I care to remember. I did it with love,caring and respect. When one loses control of a bodily funtion it can be humiliating and scary-preserving their dignity is an important part of loving.When my dogs get sick, first I comfort, then I clean. Your child deserves better than this from his father.

 

[L107ANGEL]

Very good point. Kids are not quite as fragile as most people like to imagine.

Well, I disagree! I think children are that, children. They have feelings that are magnified then those of adults on many issues!
OP, I think you handled it correctly and DH needs to aopolgize to the little guy with sincerity.

 

[Buckalew11]

As insensitive and unsatisfactory as the Dad's response was in all this, let's keep a little bit of perspective. I would hesitate to advise any parent to give a 9 year old a hat in hand apology for what was a lapse in good judgment. Something about that idea doesn't sit right with me, and it might do more harm in the long run than good. Remember that he is the kid's father and that position demands a certain respect even when he doesn't behave worthily of it.

I totally disagree with you.

I believe in respecting your parents. And I believe that if this father apologizes to his son that the child will respect him a lot more than if he doesn't.

It will not hurt the dad being the "respected dad" to apologize.

 

[poohandwendy]

Originally Posted by lw49033
As insensitive and unsatisfactory as the Dad's response was in all this, let's keep a little bit of perspective. I would hesitate to advise any parent to give a 9 year old a hat in hand apology for what was a lapse in good judgment. Something about that idea doesn't sit right with me, and it might do more harm in the long run than good. Remember that he is the kid's father and that position demands a certain respect even when he doesn't behave worthily of it.

Wow, I could not disagree more. I am all for respecting authority and demand that in my home. However, where do kids learn that the right thing to do is apologize when you have said the wrong thing?

They learn respect from their parents actions. There is a great lesson in seeing your parents humble themselves and apologize when they are WRONG.

Authority means nothing if it is abused. It doesn't lead to respect, it breeds contempt.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Wow, I could not disagree more. I am all for respecting authority and demand that in my home. However, where do kids learn that the right thing to do is apologize when you have said the wrong thing?

They learn respect from their parents actions. There is a great lesson in seeing your parents humble themselves and apologize when they are WRONG.

Authority means nothing if it is abused.

I agree!

Assuming that this is not normal behavior on you DH's part and he did apologize to your son, I think that you should move on, though. I tend to hold on to things for too long with my DH, which doesn't help things, either.

 

[poohandwendy]

Assuming that this is not normal behavior on you DH's part and he did apologize to your son, I think that you should move on, though.

I totally agree.

And I also agree that something like this would be something I would have a harder time letting go than my kids would (after an apology). I would drop it, but I would be lying if I didn't say that it would weigh on my mind for a while.

 

[L107ANGEL]

A boy that age doesn't want his dad kissing his feet. He wants his dad to be the hero. I think a quick "I'm sorry" would be ok, but anything beyond that might disturb the kid's view of his father more than the incident itself.

OMG this thread and your postings get better! What????
So a quick "I'm sorry" muttered by Dad is acceptable and anything more is putting the child in a state where he may what? Accept his parents are humans and do make mistakes? Let me guess, a look in the eye with the child from Dad and a heartfelt apology puts the Dad in a humbled arena? Guess what? Thats where the father belongs! Anything less is in my opinion is cowardly on the Fathers behalf!

 

[Stacey2grls]

I found this to be so very sad. My DD almost 8 recently had an incident similar to this. She was on the couch, started running towards the bathroom, turned back around and preceeded to vomit on our brand new area rug in the living room. My husband was furious! He kept yelling "why did you turn back around instead of running towards the bathroom." Her reply was that she was scared, and wanted me who was on the couch. I was soooo pissed at my husband. First of all when you have to vomit reguardless or whether your a kid or an adult you panic! She was scared, and wanted me, that is all. My daughter happens to also be extremely responsible, and was so sorry afterwards, she actually cried about it. I hated that she was upset about it, I told her it wasn't her fault, and that in life accidents happen. My husband was the one I was mad at, not my daughter.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I would not expect a sick child to clean up vomit after they've just thrown up. Doesn't your DH remember how awful you feel when you're that sick?

I also think it would be a peace offering for your DH to tell your DS he was wrong and that he's sorry. Our sons learn to be men from their fathers. He would be teaching him a worthy lesson about humility and forgiveness.

 

[MinnieM3]

DH is WRONG! Not a cool move on his part. Poor little guy.

 

[Beth76]

I've only read the first post, but I just want to say that when I was 12 I woke up throwing up. There was no warning and no time to get to the bathroom. It happens. I'm glad you still helped your son. I think I would help my child no matter how old he was. Hope he's feeling better today.