Removed!

[lw49033]

As insensitive and unsatisfactory as the Dad's response was in all this, let's keep a little bit of perspective. I would hesitate to advise any parent to give a 9 year old a hat in hand apology for what was a lapse in good judgment. Something about that idea doesn't sit right with me, and it might do more harm in the long run than good. Remember that he is the kid's father and that position demands a certain respect even when he doesn't behave worthily of it.

 

[GEM]

You were wrong for not standing up to your husband and for letting your boy help clean up the vomit.

I would NEVER allow my husband to dictate how I decided to care for my sick child-- NEVER. He wouldn't dream of such a thing.

She said in the first post that she DID help him.

As insensitive and unsatisfactory as the Dad's response was in all this, let's keep a little bit of perspective. I would hesitate to advise any parent to give a 9 year old a hat in hand apology for what was a lapse in good judgment. Something about that idea doesn't sit right with me, and it might do more harm in the long run than good. Remember that he is the kid's father and that position demands a certain respect even when he doesn't behave worthily of it.

As a parent, when I screw up, I apologize. I don't apologize for making him pick up his toys, eat his veggies, etc. But, if I make a real mistake, I tell him I'm sorry. I don't think it does any harm for kids to see that their parents make mistakes sometimes. Now, seeing a parent make a poor decision and not own up to it - that seems much more likely to me to cause a loss of respect.

 

[maxiesmom]

You know, all the parenting "experts" tell you to not argue about parenting issues in front of your children. Maybe the OP was trying to not upset her son further by starting a fight with his dad. Let's not turn this into an argument about her parenting skills. I agree he was being a jerk, but at least he seems to realize that now.

 

[disney50fam]

REMOVED

 

[snowwite]

My son had a headache all day yesterday and didnt feel well. But he ate dinner and about a hour later went to bed. Then around 45 mins after he fell asleep I heard him trying to hurry off his bed and then he LOSTit everywhere and kept running and made it to the bathroom....
My vent is he is only 9 years old and my DH made him clean up his own vomit...
He told me to stay out and let him do it all his self "he is old enough to know when he is going to puke he said"
That pissed me off even as a adult I have had a vomit accdeint.

* needless to say I went in there and helped my poor little guy *

just want your veiw...
And thanks so much for listening to me vent!

Wow! My DD is 17 and I would not make her clean up when she is sick. I dont know what he is thinking but that is just plain mean, IMHO. Sorry that your DS isnt feeling wel and DH is not helping you guys.

 

[Disney Doll]

I'd have shot DH the "death stare" (and believe me, he knows what it is), cleaned up after DS, sent DH to sleep on the couch, and had DS sleep in the bed with me in case he felt sick again.

And believe me, DH would have heard about it the next day. And the next time he got sick, he'd be getting a taste of his own medicine.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Did your DH apologize to your son?

If so, let it go. We all make mistakes and as long as your DH doesn't repeat it your son will learn that people make mistakes and are sorry and then change. That's a powerful lesson for him to learn!

 

[OceanAnnie]

I'm sorry this happened. It sounds awful for your DS, you, and your DH. Yes, awful for your DH as it isn't something he wants to be remembered for I'm sure. It's good that he feels bad about it! I hope he does apologize to your DS and tries to make up for it in some way. Let the poor little guy know it won't happen again.

Not to excuse your DH actions in any way, but is he under a lot of stress or something? Sometimes people overreact to things when they are under a lot of pressure.

There were times as a kid I didn't think I was treated fairly. I still loved my parents very much. It didn't scar me for life. Over time I realized my parents were human and they make mistakes like everyone else.

 

[Talking Hands]

Kid was sick. Even adults who are sick can not make it to the bathroom. Give the poor kid a break. I've even cleaned up after my adult daughters when sick and so has my husband.

 

[lw49033]

There were times as a kid I didn't think I was treated fairly. I still loved my parents very much. It didn't scar me for life. Over time I realized my parents were human and they make mistakes like everyone else.

Very good point. Kids are not quite as fragile as most people like to imagine.

 

[Virgo10]

Unbelievable! Nine, 29 or 59, having just gotten over this bug you don't ask the one who's sick to clean up a mess like that.

There's many things I could say right now but I'll leave it up to your imagination.

 

[momof2inPA]

I said in the first post that I helped him clean it up,,,, as in he went in the shower while I cleaned it up my self!!!!!! So NO I didnt stand by my DH's side...

I interpretted your first post as meaning you helped your son clean it up, both of you side by side on the floor, not that you took over and cleaned it up for him. Personally, I think your husband was just being lazy.

 

[Pugdog007]

That's cruel.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I interpretted your first post as meaning you helped your son clean it up, both of you side by side on the floor, not that you took over and cleaned it up for him. Personally, I think your husband was just being lazy.

Me too. You did not say you stuck your son in the shower and then cleaned up the mess. So you have to cut us some slack.

 

[goofygirl]

Wow. Your DH was mad?? Its not like he barfed on purpose.

I'm with you. Barf, pee, poop, etc is the parents' (both parents) responsibility. If you don't want to deal with that, don't have kids.

 

[Lachesis00]

Did he apologize to you or your son? I think he needs to be kissing your son's feet. That is so so wrong in my book.

 

[RitaZ.]

Your DS may not be scarred for life, but some of my fondest memories from childhood was when my mom took care of me when I was sick. It felt good then and I still remember it that way at age 40. When you're not feeling well, the last thing a person needs is to be punished for feeling/being sick, kwim.

Have a talk with your DH.

 

[VSL]

Shocking. I can't understand that mentality - what was your DH trying to achieve or teach your son..?

 

[lw49033]

Did he apologize to you or your son? I think he needs to be kissing your son's feet. That is so so wrong in my book.

A boy that age doesn't want his dad kissing his feet. He wants his dad to be the hero. I think a quick "I'm sorry" would be ok, but anything beyond that might disturb the kid's view of his father more than the incident itself.

 

[ktpool]

As insensitive and unsatisfactory as the Dad's response was in all this, let's keep a little bit of perspective. I would hesitate to advise any parent to give a 9 year old a hat in hand apology for what was a lapse in good judgment. Something about that idea doesn't sit right with me, and it might do more harm in the long run than good. Remember that he is the kid's father and that position demands a certain respect even when he doesn't behave worthily of it.

Wrong, wrong, wrong. I am sorry, but the only way children learn that it is human to make mistakes and the right thing to do is to apologize for them is from their parents. It is better to have the child think that his dad did the right thing or that his dad is not capable of saying the hardest words in the world - "I was wrong and I am sorry."?

I don't usually tell other people how to parent either, but that statement is just wrong.