Relative search for placement of children

[lifesavacation]

I received a letter regarding 3 children removed from the custody of their parents. I'm a distant relative to one of the parents. I've never met the children and to be honest, had to google search before I figured out how I was related to the mother of the children. I'm surprised by the letter since I have no relationship and I'm wondering if anyone can give me a little background on the process. Does the case worker send letters out to a bunch of relatives and hopes one is willing to take the children? I'll call the case worker on Monday to get more information. I'm just really unfamiliar with how everything fits together.

I was raised by my grandparents because my parents weren't fit so I have a soft spot for abused/neglected children. I highly doubt I'll take them, but I would like more information before I say no.

 

[usnuzuloose]

There is people out there , it will cost some but they do locate people. I used it once to find my sister and he found her.

 

[SandyinMonterey]

I don't know the process but just be careful. There are some pretty good scammers out there...not saying this is one but you never know. It seems to be easy to make something look legit. I'd call their local office (where that letter originated) and look up the number on line. Not just the phone number they say to call. My Aunt almost got scammed. They knew a lot of stuff, personal information too. She did some checking first. Glad she did.

 

[disneychrista]

Not sure how it works in other places but here it appears they ask the parents if there are relatives who could take the child. My nephews daughter was removed (twice) and I was never contacted regarding having her placed with me.

 

[lifesavacation]

I don't know the process but just be careful. There are some pretty good scammers out there...not saying this is one but you never know. It seems to be easy to make something look legit. I'd call their local office (where that letter originated) and look up the number on line. Not just the phone number they say to call. My Aunt almost got scammed. They knew a lot of stuff, personal information too. She did some checking first. Glad she did.

I don't think it was a scam. My sister and one of my sons also got a letter. The case worker's email ends in .gov.

 

[SandyinMonterey]

I don't think it was a scam. My sister and one of my sons also got a letter. The case worker's email ends in .gov.

I understand that but my Aunt said all the "mailings" she received look official too....the army. It was about her grandson. Her son, this child's father, also received letters. It was pretty scary that these people knew so much about my aunt, her grandson and son.

 

[ashley0139]

This is common for them to do before putting kids in foster care. I doubt it's a scam. Foster care is and should be a last choice. Good luck with your decision, OP. I don't think I could say no if I received a letter like that, but I know it is a personal decision.

 

[tazdev3225]

I got a letter like that a couple years ago regarding my son in laws nephews. It was legitimate but I never understood why I got the letter. The only connection I had to the children is that my son in law was unfortunate enough to be the brother of their mother. His sister is an addict and lost custody of all 7 of her children. The twins had an aunt on their fathers side who wanted them anyway so I always hoped it worked out for the babies but I could not have handled them. They were born addicted and had issues because of it. My husband was recovering from 2 strokes so I had my hands full.

My son in laws family is loony tunes and I wanted nothing at all to do with the situation. I saw what his family did to the foster family that had 3 of her other children. I had foster siblings growing up as my parents became foster parents when I was a teen. I give credit to those who do it, but it's not for me.

 

[lifesavacation]

This is common for them to do before putting kids in foster care. I doubt it's a scam. Foster care is and should be a last choice. Good luck with your decision, OP. I don't think I could say no if I received a letter like that, but I know it is a personal decision.

That makes sense. The letter stated that you don’t have to become foster parents for placement, but more financial reimbursement is available if you do.

 

[Pyotr]

My previous job was a social worker dealing with foster kids. If the child is removed from the home, it’s always preferred that they go to a relative before they get placed in foster care. This is especially true if the parents are having their rights terminated. Family > foster care.

I have sent many of those letters to family members who have never heard of the children.

 

[starry_solo]

I received a letter regarding 3 children removed from the custody of their parents. I'm a distant relative to one of the parents. I've never met the children and to be honest, had to google search before I figured out how I was related to the mother of the children. I'm surprised by the letter since I have no relationship and I'm wondering if anyone can give me a little background on the process. Does the case worker send letters out to a bunch of relatives and hopes one is willing to take the children? I'll call the case worker on Monday to get more information. I'm just really unfamiliar with how everything fits together.

I was raised by my grandparents because my parents weren't fit so I have a soft spot for abused/neglected children. I highly doubt I'll take them, but I would like more information before I say no.

So, in CA (I can only tell you about CA), the social worker is required by law to inquire about relatives when children are removed from the custody of their parents. If the parents don't mention any, then the names of the parents and children are provided to a specific unit within the Department (it's called different names depending on the county, but I've heard it called "Family Connections" before) to locate relatives.

Relatives go up to five degrees of consanguinity in CA (I'd have to go look it up to be sure). Here is a nice chart on how to explain it:

 

[DisneyOma]

This is common for them to do before putting kids in foster care. I doubt it's a scam. Foster care is and should be a last choice. Good luck with your decision, OP. I don't think I could say no if I received a letter like that, but I know it is a personal decision.

My previous job was a social worker dealing with foster kids. If the child is removed from the home, it’s always preferred that they go to a relative before they get placed in foster care. This is especially true if the parents are having their rights terminated. Family > foster care.

I have sent many of those letters to family members who have never heard of the children.

This just makes me angry. If the family was that great, wouldn't they have known the kids were in danger and done something before social services had to step in? Why are distant relatives, who have no clue the kids even exist, better than a foster family (especially one designated foster to adopt) that actually has stepped forward to want to help the kids in the first place? It's not like the kids know the "relatives" any more than they know the foster families. Where do they put the kids while they check out/background check the "relatives"? In a foster family, of course, so they get settled there and then get moved yet again to another place, sometimes almost year later. None of that is good for the kids, IMO.

 

[starry_solo]

This just makes me angry. If the family was that great, wouldn't they have known the kids were in danger and done something before social services had to step in? Why are distant relatives, who have no clue the kids even exist, better than a foster family (especially one designated foster to adopt) that actually has stepped forward to want to help the kids in the first place? It's not like the kids know the "relatives" any more than they know the foster families. Where do they put the kids while they check out/background check the "relatives"? In a foster family, of course, so they get settled there and then get moved yet again to another place, sometimes almost year later. None of that is good for the kids, IMO.

again, I am in CA. there is a code section (law) that provides placement preference to relatives. The relatives need to assert it, which is why they are contacted. The farther away the relatives are from the parents/children makes it unlikely the children will be placed there because the Department still wants to reunify parents with their children and facilitating visits from such a distance hinder those efforts

 

[punkin]

The state I dealt with wouldn't place a child out of state if they were still trying for reunification...even with close relatives who were begging for the child to stay out of foster care.

 

[lifesavacation]

The state I dealt with wouldn't place a child out of state if they were still trying for reunification...even with close relatives who were begging for the child to stay out of foster care.

Interesting. My sister lives out of state and also got a letter.

 

[punkin]

Interesting. My sister lives out of state and also got a letter.

It's very state specific, sometimes county specific, and always situation specific. My situation was unusual in several ways.

 

[daisy2013]

This just makes me angry. If the family was that great, wouldn't they have known the kids were in danger and done something before social services had to step in? Why are distant relatives, who have no clue the kids even exist, better than a foster family (especially one designated foster to adopt) that actually has stepped forward to want to help the kids in the first place? It's not like the kids know the "relatives" any more than they know the foster families. Where do they put the kids while they check out/background check the "relatives"? In a foster family, of course, so they get settled there and then get moved yet again to another place, sometimes almost year later. None of that is good for the kids, IMO.

Because relatives are more likely to make sure the kid maintain contacts with their family. That is beneficial to the kids in the long run. And reunification is more likely to happen which is the ultimate goal of most placements. As for relatives not knowing about neglect I have relatives I havent seen in years doesn’t make me a bad person just busy and states away from them. I also was a foster parent for several years. So I’ve seen kids move in and out of the system. If they can’t be reunited a kinship placement is the next best step. Background checks don’t take all that long.

 

[ashley0139]

This just makes me angry. If the family was that great, wouldn't they have known the kids were in danger and done something before social services had to step in? Why are distant relatives, who have no clue the kids even exist, better than a foster family (especially one designated foster to adopt) that actually has stepped forward to want to help the kids in the first place? It's not like the kids know the "relatives" any more than they know the foster families. Where do they put the kids while they check out/background check the "relatives"? In a foster family, of course, so they get settled there and then get moved yet again to another place, sometimes almost year later. None of that is good for the kids, IMO.

I don't really care if it makes you angry. If you think foster care is all sunshine and roses and perfect parents who just want to help kids, I suggest you look more into the realities of foster care. Of course it should be that way, but it is most definitely not.

This is coming from someone who is hoping to be one of the good foster parents in the future.

 

[starry_solo]

The state I dealt with wouldn't place a child out of state if they were still trying for reunification...even with close relatives who were begging for the child to stay out of foster care.

I don't think any state would place children out of the state with relatives because that would hinder reunification efforts with the parents. But if an out-of-state relative is interested in placement if reunification efforts fail, then it is best to tell social services sooner, rather than later, because ICPC (Interstate Compact for Placement of Children) takes a very long time (sometimes 6-12 months!)

 

[Tigerlulu]

As someone who doesn’t keep in touch with distant relatives and doesn’t know many of my relatives situations (big spread out fam), I’d definitely want to know about kids in this situation and have the choice to decide to take them in or not.