Regional Differences

[chicagodisneyfan]

Regional differences are one thing, stereotypes and prejudice are another. Mjackmom is not getting raked over the coals for saying "people get married later here," but for saying that people don't live with "mommy and daddy," feeling "sorry" for people who didn't lead their lives exactly the way she did, and that people who get married in their 20s arouse suspicions of pregnancy.

It just seems alien to us the people get married so young - without traveling the world, hiking through Europe - you know - expanding your mind.

And yes I also find it strange/different for someone to have never lived on their own - it is just a difference from my region to possibly yours.

I do feel sorry for people who do not expand their horizons and do new things - but heck if they are happy - good for them!

 

[KristaTX]

It just seems alien to us the people get married so young - without traveling the world, hiking through Europe - you know - expanding your mind.

And yes I also find it strange/different for someone to have never lived on their own - it is just a difference from my region to possibly yours.

I do feel sorry for people who do not expand their horizons and do new things - but heck if they are happy - good for them!

Who says you can't expand your horizons/expand your mind/do new things WITH someone else?? I've been married for 21 years. I married at age 19 to my high school sweetheart. We've been on all kinds of adventures together - near home, and far away. We have hiked through parts of Europe.

We don't have kids. To me that's kind of like if I were to say to someone my age with kids, "Well, I don't have kids to have been bound up by so I have been able to broaden my horizons and live life to the fullest way better than you possibly ever could have being all tied to another person like that." At least that's what it sounds like when you say you are sorry for people like me .

Not only would I never say that, but I wouldn't even ever think it . Everyone has their own life to live, has the same amount of time in a day, and has their own adventures to take part in, whether those adventures are one mile from home, or halfway around the world.

I don't feel sorry for people who DIDN'T marry young, even though I'm glad I did. Life can be both ways without one way being better.

 

[JaneBanks]

It's not so unusual, though, on these threads. I always sense what a few "northerners" say about common southern ways (e.g. accents, words, foods, customs) as judgmental, and I don't think I'm always imagining it.
Even some ex-northerners who now choose to live in the south seem to enjoy mocking where they live and imply that the north and northern way is somehow better.

Well, coming from this northerner, I can say the same about a few "southerners".

So, I just think people are being a little over sensitive and taking things the wrong way, which is easy to do on a message board.

 

[SaraJayne]

It just seems alien to us the people get married so young - without traveling the world, hiking through Europe - you know - expanding your mind.

And yes I also find it strange/different for someone to have never lived on their own - it is just a difference from my region to possibly yours.

I do feel sorry for people who do not expand their horizons and do new things - but heck if they are happy - good for them!

So once you're married, your brain shrivels up and dies?

I couldn't name one couple we know that was married for the first time over the age of 27.

 

[SaraJayne]

Well, coming from this northerners, I can say the same about a few "southerners".

Exactly what I was thinking.

 

[JaneBanks]

I have a pet peeve with this regional difference.

I get really irked when people say "in Long Island" and not "ON Long Island". I love ON LI, not in it.

Also, you can make a right on a red light unless it there is a sign saying you can't.

 

[Liberty Belle]

It just seems alien to us the people get married so young - without traveling the world, hiking through Europe - you know - expanding your mind.

And yes I also find it strange/different for someone to have never lived on their own - it is just a difference from my region to possibly yours.

I do feel sorry for people who do not expand their horizons and do new things - but heck if they are happy - good for them!

Heh, what?! I'm from across the lake and know one person who hiked through Europe. Traveling the world?! Surely not everyone you know has hiked through Europe and traveled the world?!

And you can expand your mind without traveling. Many people do it - not out of choice, either.


This thread is just unbelievable to me.

 

[Minnesota!]

Who says you can't expand your horizons/expand your mind/do new things WITH someone else?? I've been married for 21 years. I married at age 19 to my high school sweetheart. We've been on all kinds of adventures together - near home, and far away. We have hiked through parts of Europe.

We don't have kids. To me that's kind of like if I were to say to someone my age with kids, "Well, I don't have kids to have been bound up by so I have been able to broaden my horizons and live life to the fullest way better than you possibly ever could have being all tied to another person like that." At least that's what it sounds like when you say you are sorry for people like me .

Not only would I never say that, but I wouldn't even ever think it . Everyone has their own life to live, has the same amount of time in a day, and has their own adventures to take part in, whether those adventures are one mile from home, or halfway around the world.

I don't feel sorry for people who DIDN'T marry young, even though I'm glad I did. Life can be both ways without one way being better.

I married young...22. I would much rather have "expanded my horizons" with my amazing husband than without him. What better way to experience things - then with someone you love?

While I admit, I was young...waiting until late 20's never would have occured to me. That seems....old? Just a regional difference

 

[punkin]

It just seems alien to us the people get married so young - without traveling the world, hiking through Europe - you know - expanding your mind.

And yes I also find it strange/different for someone to have never lived on their own - it is just a difference from my region to possibly yours.

I do feel sorry for people who do not expand their horizons and do new things - but heck if they are happy - good for them!

I traveled the world and hitchhiked through Europe before I married my high school sweetheart at 23. I also managed to expand my mind a little since knowing him, including getting a college and professional degree.

 

[indimom]

Well I agree with mjkacmom (I don't feel like going back to find the post and quote it). I find myself frequently agreeing with things she says because although I'm not from NY/NJ, I am from the DC suburbs and I think the culture is similar here. I don't know anyone who got married at 18, 19, or 20. And very very few between 21 and 26. My first friend to get married was 23, and it was because she was pregnant. I'll probably be next to marry and I'll be 25 at the youngest. And yes I've been dating my boyfriend since high school.

I don't think we look down on people who marry earlier, it just literally never happens here. Part of it is probably financial. It is very expensive to have a wedding here. Even just a normal church ceremony and reception with dinner and dancing, without the bells and whistles, is expensive. And that kind of reception is the norm for a wedding here.

It's also expensive to just live here. Most people go to college, so they aren't financially independent until about 22 (maybe even later if they go to grad school). I know in other areas of the country there are good jobs available to you right out of high school that will allow you to support a family. But you don't see that here. Most people can't afford to buy a house until their late 20s.

It's not just financial though, it's cultural too. There's no push or expectation to get married early, and no one else is doing it. There's no real backlash if you live together before marriage, because it's common. There is sort of an expectation that you wait until you are "settled" to get married (good job, finished education, ready to buy a house, ready to have kids, etc.).

Now, see, this is how you point out a regional difference. This makes perfect sense to me and does not come off as the least bit offensive or insulting.

I agree. And probably part of the reason they regret married young is because no one else did. So if everyone else you know went to college, lived with roommates and alone, traveled, etc. you might feel like you missed out. If everyone else you know also got married young and lived a life similar to yours, you have nothing different to compare your life to and you probably won't feel that *******.

Another good way of explaining perhaps what was meant... I suppose if everyone I knew did a whirlwind tour of Europe straight out of college, I might feel like I was missing something by marrying and setting up house. But, I don't know a soul who didn't go straight from high school or college to the workforce, whether married or single, a parent or not.

 

[fraggle551]

I have a pet peeve with this regional difference.

I get really irked when people say "in Long Island" and not "ON Long Island". I love ON LI, not in it.

Also, you can make a right on a red light unless it there is a sign saying you can't.

Agreed. You cannot live IN an island! That one drives me crazy. You live ON Long Island, not IN it!

 

[allison443]

FWIW, I don't think I would be bragging about how women live with their boyfriend before they got married.

Why? Is that considered wrong in your region? Or is it religiously or culturally considered "wrong"?
Just curious, as it seems very common now.

 

[bluesaturn]

Heh, what?! I'm from across the lake and know one person who hiked through Europe. Traveling the world?! Surely not everyone you know has hiked through Europe and traveled the world?!

And you can expand your mind without traveling. Many people do it - not out of choice, either.


This thread is just unbelievable to me.

I just wanted to make it clear that I don't agree with what chicagodisneyfan said. Even though I'm one of the "can't imagine getting married very young" people. Please don't take that person's words as some sort of representative opinion.

 

[indimom]

It just seems alien to us the people get married so young - without traveling the world, hiking through Europe - you know - expanding your mind.

And yes I also find it strange/different for someone to have never lived on their own - it is just a difference from my region to possibly yours.

I do feel sorry for people who do not expand their horizons and do new things - but heck if they are happy - good for them!

BlueSaturn, I need you to translate please. I'm getting offended all over again.

 

[indimom]

I just wanted to make it clear that I don't agree with what chicagodisneyfan said. Even though I'm one of the "can't imagine getting married very young" people. Please don't take that person's words as some sort of representative opinion.

I never thought it was.

 

[bluesaturn]

BlueSaturn, I need you to translate please. I'm getting offended all over again.

Sorry, I've never agreed with anything that person has said, even in previous threads.

I will say, people generally don't go straight from their parents home to marriage. There is usually some living on your own time. Although with the economy being as it is, more people are living with roommates or significant others. I think it is seen as important to live on your own (or with your SO) prior to marriage. It's part of the whole being settled before you get married thing that seems to be more of a "requirement" here. But if people are getting married later, there's a lot more time to live on your own as well.

 

[DeaverTex]

It just seems alien to us the people get married so young - without traveling the world, hiking through Europe - you know - expanding your mind.

And yes I also find it strange/different for someone to have never lived on their own - it is just a difference from my region to possibly yours.

I do feel sorry for people who do not expand their horizons and do new things - but heck if they are happy - good for them!

Everybody sees it differently, and I agree that getting married young -- like teens or early twenties -- will leave the individual without a certain set/type of experiences that being single and living on your own provides.

Traveling the world, though, or hiking through Europe (or South America or Africa or China or...) is something that most people have never done and will never do. Lots of reasons, one being time, one being money, one being uneasiness in strange situations. I'm glad you got what sounds like a gap year -- I envy that. I had to go straight from high school to college or enjoy the charms of Viet Nam while carrying an M-16. (Remember the draft?) I had to go to work directly out of college because I wasn't at all fond of starving or living under a bridge. (I am NOT a troll, despite what I've been called on a forum or two!) Those were my options. You have been very fortunate, to have the opportunities you've had.

I'm pretty sure you're stating honest opinions, but they are coming across as elitist.

 

[U2_rocks!]

Agreed. You cannot live IN an island! That one drives me crazy. You live ON Long Island, not IN it!

Unless the island is also a country, in which case you CAN live IN it! e.g. people live in Barbados, but on the island of Barbados. I know it's a teeny distinction, but ........

Locals especially laugh at the tourists that say The Barbados. (in a good-natured way, of course - we're not mean)

 

[indimom]

Sorry, I've never agreed with anything that person has said, even in previous threads.

I will say, people generally don't go straight from their parents home to marriage. There is usually some living on your own time. Although with the economy being as it is, more people are living with roommates or significant others. I think it is seen as important to live on your own (or with your SO) prior to marriage. It's part of the whole being settled before you get married thing that seems to be more of a "requirement" here. But if people are getting married later, there's a lot more time to live on your own as well.

I really never thought you agreed. I just had to have a little fun with this latest poster and since you actually were able to explain an earlier poster pretty well, I used you in my bit of humor. Sorry!

 

[bluesaturn]

I really never thought you agreed. I just had to have a little fun with this latest poster and since you actually were able to explain an earlier poster pretty well, I used you in my bit of humor. Sorry!

No problem! I'm glad my explanations actually came across well