Regional Differences

[cluvsdisney]

Seeing talk of right on red in Long Island, it reminded me of being there this year and not being sure about it, doing it, and having some type of camera or something up on the street light flash off while we were "in the act".

I myself didn't mind (if I was somehow going to get in trouble cause I really thought it was fine) but the next day friends were following us and I did the same thing and they were freaking out when the "camera" flashed thinking they were going to get a ticket in the mail, a citation, increased insurance rates, you name it.

So... do tell... What is up with these things that flash on top of your streetlights?

They are red light cameras installed to catch people blowing lights or not stopping behind the stop line before making a right on red. Even though it's a moving violation, it has no impact on your insurance and since it's impossible for the driver to be identified there's no points or anything. It's half revenue generator for the county or city and half deterrent.

It can take a few weeks to get the ticket so your friend may get one if this didn't happen too too long ago.

 

[Familyof4lovesDW]

You have a shower a couple of months before the wedding. Actually, many couples live together before getting married, or at least have their own apartments or homes. In my area, if a couple was to marry in their early 20's, a pregancy would be suspected. Most go to college, and establish careers, before getting married. Not live with mommy and daddy, and they set up house with their new spouse. I've never been to a wedding where the couple was under the age of 27.

I feel sorry for people who went from their parents' homes to their married homes. A chapter of life was missed.[/QUOTE]

I got married at 21 and i was not pregnant. I moved from my parents house to my house with my husband, which we bought when we were 20. We live in the nicest town in the county and do not get supported by our parents.
I do not feel like I missed out on any part of my life, it is just different than yours. I had my kids at 24 & 25, which makes me 43 when DD is 18.
Most of the weddings I have been the couples were 27 or under.

We had a shower a month before the wedding, had a gift table at the wedding and gifts were opened the next day before we left for our honeymoon. Gifts were purchaced off the registery and people spent what they wanted and it had noting to do with what I was feeding them.

Seeing talk of right on red in Long Island, it reminded me of being there this year and not being sure about it, doing it, and having some type of camera or something up on the street light flash off while we were "in the act".

So... do tell... What is up with these things that flash on top of your streetlights?

Where we live they are not cameras, they are just flashing lights. They are used for intersections where red lights are known for being ran. They can help drivers see that there is an intersection if it is foggy, dark, cloudy, snowy, etc. This is on top of a traffic light, not a street light, but was not sure if it was a regional difference term. A streetlight to me is a light on the street that has noting to do with traffic.

I have never been to a sleepover to where I was not fed, nor would I ever host a party and not feed my guest at least something.

One of the strangest things to me were the lights used in big cities to get on the highway/freeway. The light had to be green or you could not get off the exit ramp to get on the road. We call the highway/ state route by the number. I have also never rode a bus that was not a school bus.

School Zones are 20 here and only have to go 20 when it is flashing or restricted hours. I do know in WI their school zones are 15.

 

[mhsjax]

You have a shower a couple of months before the wedding. Actually, many couples live together before getting married, or at least have their own apartments or homes. In my area, if a couple was to marry in their early 20's, a pregancy would be suspected. Most go to college, and establish careers, before getting married. Not live with mommy and daddy, and they set up house with their new spouse.

It's really not covering your plate - it's just being generous. Let's face it, if a young couple is buying a new home, they're looking at a morgage payment of several thousand dollars a month. Most people here who have extravagant weddings CAN AFFORD THEM. They've worked hard, for several years after graduating college. We're not talking about kids with HS diplomas working at Walmart. I've never been to a wedding where the couple was under the age of 27.

Wow, you are pretty rude and very uneducated in your opinions about the south. FWIW, I don't think I would be bragging about how women live with their boyfriend before they got married.

It they people up in your area are so successful, why do others feel the need to :cover their plate" down here that would be considered way beyond rude to assume that. Maybe in all our uneducated and back woods ways, we just have more manners. We are generous because we happen to love the couple, not because it is expected. Last wedding I went to, I gave a gift that way exceed our cost of the plate. Shocking I know, a real sit down dinner with open bar in the south. WE aren't all from barns you know.

 

[Minnesota!]

I have to agree about SOS...it was creamed chipped beef on toast. My dad did not have fond memories of it from the service so we never had to have it.

You grew up pretty close to where I live.....we're just across the county line. Savoy's Pizza anyone? My dad actually attended Sheridan School for 4th grade I think. He and his mom moved down to the "cities" for the year because his grandma was dying.

I do have a soft spot for Davanni's too. We tend to go to the one in Woodbury now.

Love it. DH is having it for lunch today, AAMOF!

I'm confused by the homecoming mums - those don't look anything like mums! We had them in college and they were actually mums!

I'm also amazed by the "no food in the midwest" comment. My experience on the west coast has been more of a offer food if it's meal time, drink if it's particularly hot or cold, refreshments if the visit lasts more than an hour or so, etc. That's what I'm used to. However, when visiting in the Midwest it seems like I'm greeted at the door, dragged to the table, sat down, and force fed the contents of their refridgerator no matter what time of day it is or how brief my visit!

Sounds about right!

And to a PP who said we all missed a chapter of our life....nope. I started dating DH at 15, moved in with him when I was 21, married at 22....been married almost 11 years now. I missed nothing. Why would I want to be alone/live alone when I could be with an awesome partner having a blast traveling, etc?

 

[luvtheworld16]

Wow, you are pretty rude and very uneducated in your opinions about the south. FWIW, I don't think I would be bragging about how women live with their boyfriend before they got married.

It they people up in your area are so successful, why do others feel the need to :cover their plate" down here that would be considered way beyond rude to assume that. Maybe in all our uneducated and back woods ways, we just have more manners. We are generous because we happen to love the couple, not because it is expected. Last wedding I went to, I gave a gift that way exceed our cost of the plate. Shocking I know, a real sit down dinner with open bar in the south. WE aren't all from barns you know.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

I remember learning about flashing green in Driver's Ed (MA). Not that it's actually used much, but I could swear that "flashing green = could change to red". I could be wrong, but that's how I remember it.

Isn't that what yellow is for?

One of the strangest things to me were the lights used in big cities to get on the highway/freeway. The light had to be green or you could not get off the exit ramp to get on the road.

Those are meant to even out the traffic entering the highway and ease congestion. We've had them everywhere I've lived. Not in big cities, but in suburbs, so I guess I'd be surprised not to see one on an on-ramp. There's another regional difference I just noticed. You called it an exit ramp, I called it an on ramp. Growing up in California, we used the highway/freeway as the guide. If you're getting on the freeway, it's an entrance or on ramp, if you're getting off, it's an exit or off ramp. My husband (grew up in Illinois) will call them both exit ramps. He says because you're exiting one road to go to another. In Colorado I've noticed people saying it both ways.

Then there is the Pasadena Freeway, which is so old it has stop signs at some of the entrances and no merging lane at all.

 

[design_mom]

One of the strangest things to me were the lights used in big cities to get on the highway/freeway. The light had to be green or you could not get off the exit ramp to get on the road. We call the highway/ state route by the number. I have also never rode a bus that was not a school bus.

There's another regional difference I just noticed. You called it an exit ramp, I called it an on ramp. Growing up in California, we used the highway/freeway as the guide. If you're getting on the freeway, it's an entrance or on ramp, if you're getting off, it's an exit or off ramp. My husband (grew up in Illinois) will call them both exit ramps. He says because you're exiting one road to go to another. In Colorado I've noticed people saying it both ways.

I am also from Ohio (that's where Familyof4LovesWDW is from too, I think) but, like Mrs. Toad, I've always said on/entrance ramp if you're getting on, and off/exit ramp if you're getting off.

I will agree with Familyof4 that I do not like those traffic-metering lights on the entrance ramps. We don't have very many around here, and either people just aren't used to them... or they don't work as well as I think they should work.

My family (lived in Ohio for generations) always said freeway. My DH's family (transplanted from St. Louis) say highway. Now I've noticed that I say highway/freeway interchangeably. I've also picked up "soda" from his family although "pop" is more common around here.

 

[malibuconlee]

Isn't that what yellow is for?

Those are meant to even out the traffic entering the highway and ease congestion. We've had them everywhere I've lived. Not in big cities, but in suburbs, so I guess I'd be surprised not to see one on an on-ramp. There's another regional difference I just noticed. You called it an exit ramp, I called it an on ramp. Growing up in California, we used the highway/freeway as the guide. If you're getting on the freeway, it's an entrance or on ramp, if you're getting off, it's an exit or off ramp. My husband (grew up in Illinois) will call them both exit ramps. He says because you're exiting one road to go to another. In Colorado I've noticed people saying it both ways.

Then there is the Pasadena Freeway, which is so old it has stop signs at some of the entrances and no merging lane at all.

Exit ramp= leaving the road
on ramp = driving onto the road

And for me it's highway, interstate for roads that start with I and freeway for major mulit-lane roads that aren't technically Interstate roads

 

[mjkacmom]

Wow, you are pretty rude and very uneducated in your opinions about the south. FWIW, I don't think I would be bragging about how women live with their boyfriend before they got married.

It they people up in your area are so successful, why do others feel the need to :cover their plate" down here that would be considered way beyond rude to assume that. Maybe in all our uneducated and back woods ways, we just have more manners. We are generous because we happen to love the couple, not because it is expected. Last wedding I went to, I gave a gift that way exceed our cost of the plate. Shocking I know, a real sit down dinner with open bar in the south. WE aren't all from barns you know.

We really don't feel the need to cover our plate, it's just the perception of those in other areas. We are just generous. I thought this was about regional differences, not what is right or wrong. Weddings are huge events here, monetary gifts are larger than in other areas, people get married later, and start their families later, and when we're talking about boyfriends and girlfriends living together, I really see no shame in people in their later 20's being practical, and sharing an apartment or home, considering how high living expenses are.

Homes in other areas cost a fraction of what they cost here. Unfortuntately, although the salaries are higher here, they don't make up for all of the higher COL.

 

[bluesaturn]

Well I agree with mjkacmom (I don't feel like going back to find the post and quote it). I find myself frequently agreeing with things she says because although I'm not from NY/NJ, I am from the DC suburbs and I think the culture is similar here. I don't know anyone who got married at 18, 19, or 20. And very very few between 21 and 26. My first friend to get married was 23, and it was because she was pregnant. I'll probably be next to marry and I'll be 25 at the youngest. And yes I've been dating my boyfriend since high school.

I don't think we look down on people who marry earlier, it just literally never happens here. Part of it is probably financial. It is very expensive to have a wedding here. Even just a normal church ceremony and reception with dinner and dancing, without the bells and whistles, is expensive. And that kind of reception is the norm for a wedding here.

It's also expensive to just live here. Most people go to college, so they aren't financially independent until about 22 (maybe even later if they go to grad school). I know in other areas of the country there are good jobs available to you right out of high school that will allow you to support a family. But you don't see that here. Most people can't afford to buy a house until their late 20s.

It's not just financial though, it's cultural too. There's no push or expectation to get married early, and no one else is doing it. There's no real backlash if you live together before marriage, because it's common. There is sort of an expectation that you wait until you are "settled" to get married (good job, finished education, ready to buy a house, ready to have kids, etc.).

 

[bluesaturn]

We really don't feel the need to cover our plate, it's just the perception of those in other areas. We are just generous. I thought this was about regional differences, not what is right or wrong. Weddings are huge events here, monetary gifts are larger than in other areas, people get married later, and start their families later, and when we're talking about boyfriends and girlfriends living together, I really see no shame in people in their later 20's being practical, and sharing an apartment or home, considering how high living expenses are.

Homes in other areas cost a fraction of what they cost here. Unfortuntately, although the salaries are higher here, they don't make up for all of the higher COL.

We don't necessarily "do" covering your plate here, but I see it as a guideline of how much to give. So when you're thinking, I wonder how much I should give for this wedding? You can give about how much it cost to feed you. Makes perfect sense to me. It's not like your paying admission to get into the wedding, I'm sure no one is going to disown you if you can't give that. It's a guideline.

I guess others may find it offensive because they decide what to give based on their relationship with the person. Whereas with "covering your plate" you are deciding what to give based on the expense of the wedding. Honestly, both seem appropriate to me.

 

[Mkrop]

I think mjackmom is getting raked over the coals.

I think it is another one of those regional differences.

I think the covering the plate thing was more of a guideline and it had involved into what you just do. Nothing superior about it. I will admit to be shocked 15 years ago when I got a $25 check as a wedding gift from a couple who were good friends with my mom. Maybe it was all they could afford, but the amt was very low for two people attending a wedding around here.

Another regional diff is the getting married at a later age. People are encouraged to married later, experiece life, before settling down. Only a few of my friends got married in their early 20s. Most started at 25 which even sounds early for some. So yes people do say you missed out on things if you didnt get out in the real world.

Unfortunately I know many people who got married very young, never went to college, never got that partying out of their system, and then wound up divorced, bc they didnt get to experience all that, their words, not mine.

 

[U2_rocks!]

I was going to ask about the Mums, but you guys already explained it.
Of everything on this thread, THAT one is completely new to me! Definitely not something we have around here.

Us neither! In fact, we don't even have football - to us, football = soccer. The closest thing we have to American football is rugby, and it's only similar in that it's a ball tackle game rather than primarily a ball kicking game like soccer. I have never figured out why American football is even called that - they rarely kick the ball - only when they're going for a field goal as far as I can tell. Soccer is really the game that deserves the name "football", because you really do move the ball around with your feet the whole time!

 

[U2_rocks!]

Who's brain child was that????

We have one goofy intersection in town where a roundabout would be a perfect solution but it's right by the fire station so that's not happening. Not sure what they will come up with instead. I LOVE roundabouts, I wish we had more of them. They are so much easier than 4 way stops.

We have tons of roundabouts, and they work really well for the most part.

 

[U2_rocks!]

What does everyone call their parents and grandparents?

When I was a kid they were mummy, daddy, granny, grandad, great-gran and grandpop. As an adult I shortened my parents and grandmother to mum and dad and gran, though I do sometimes refer to my parents as mummy and daddy when I'm talking about them (but not TO them). Oh, and to differentiate between the grandparents I called them granny or grandad "lastname".

 

[bluesaturn]

I think mjackmom is getting raked over the coals.

I think it is another one of those regional differences.

I think the covering the plate thing was more of a guideline and it had involved into what you just do. Nothing superior about it. I will admit to be shocked 15 years ago when I got a $25 check as a wedding gift from a couple who were good friends with my mom. Maybe it was all they could afford, but the amt was very low for two people attending a wedding around here.

Another regional diff is the getting married at a later age. People are encouraged to married later, experiece life, before settling down. Only a few of my friends got married in their early 20s. Most started at 25 which even sounds early for some. So yes people do say you missed out on things if you didnt get out in the real world.

Unfortunately I know many people who got married very young, never went to college, never got that partying out of their system, and then wound up divorced, bc they didnt get to experience all that, their words, not mine.

I agree. And probably part of the reason they regret married young is because no one else did. So if everyone else you know went to college, lived with roommates and alone, traveled, etc. you might feel like you missed out. If everyone else you know also got married young and lived a life similar to yours, you have nothing different to compare your life to and you probably won't feel that *******.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Well I agree with mjkacmom (I don't feel like going back to find the post and quote it). I find myself frequently agreeing with things she says because although I'm not from NY/NJ, I am from the DC suburbs and I think the culture is similar here. I don't know anyone who got married at 18, 19, or 20. And very very few between 21 and 26. My first friend to get married was 23, and it was because she was pregnant. I'll probably be next to marry and I'll be 25 at the youngest. And yes I've been dating my boyfriend since high school.

I don't think we look down on people who marry earlier, it just literally never happens here. Part of it is probably financial. It is very expensive to have a wedding here. Even just a normal church ceremony and reception with dinner and dancing, without the bells and whistles, is expensive. And that kind of reception is the norm for a wedding here.

It's also expensive to just live here. Most people go to college, so they aren't financially independent until about 22 (maybe even later if they go to grad school). I know in other areas of the country there are good jobs available to you right out of high school that will allow you to support a family. But you don't see that here. Most people can't afford to buy a house until their late 20s.

It's not just financial though, it's cultural too. There's no push or expectation to get married early, and no one else is doing it. There's no real backlash if you live together before marriage, because it's common. There is sort of an expectation that you wait until you are "settled" to get married (good job, finished education, ready to buy a house, ready to have kids, etc.).

I live in Kentucky and I don't know anyone who got married that young, either. I was pretty young at 25. I think it's different in the smaller towns, but then it probably is different in the smaller towns near you, too.

What I don't understand is...you guys still have McDonald's, grocery stores, school janitors, drug stores with cashiers, locksmiths, bus drivers, etc. Does everyone bus in? Do they not marry? Never attend weddings?

I can understand if you live in an affluent community/subdivision/area and are talking about just those people, but to make such a broad statement about EVERYONE in your town/city/etc, just confuses me.

 

[Liberty Belle]

What does everyone call their parents and grandparents?

When I was a kid they were mummy, daddy, granny, grandad, great-gran and grandpop. As an adult I shortened my parents and grandmother to mum and dad and gran, though I do sometimes refer to my parents as mummy and daddy when I'm talking about them (but not TO them). Oh, and to differentiate between the grandparents I called them granny or grandad "lastname".

I called mine Mom/Mother/Ma and Dad, Granny, Grandma, Gramps, and Grampa, but I grew up in Michigan.

Here in Kentucky it's often Mother, Daddy, Memaw, and Pepaw (long e's) or Mamaw and Papaw (short first a's).

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

I called mine Mom/Mother/Ma and Dad, Granny, Grandma, Gramps, and Grampa, but I grew up in Michigan.

Here in Kentucky it's often Mother, Daddy, Memaw, and Pepaw (long e's) or Mamaw and Papaw (short first a's).

I've never, ever heard these before.

 

[tlbwriter]

I think mjackmom is getting raked over the coals.

I think it is another one of those regional differences.

Regional differences are one thing, stereotypes and prejudice are another. Mjackmom is not getting raked over the coals for saying "people get married later here," but for saying that people don't live with "mommy and daddy," feeling "sorry" for people who didn't lead their lives exactly the way she did, and that people who get married in their 20s arouse suspicions of pregnancy.