Regional Differences

[design_mom]

Me (Ohio) - Mommy/Mom, Daddy/Dad, Grandma and Grandpa (differentiated by last name)

DH (Missouri) - Mom/Dad, Gram and Grammpa

Kids (raised in Ohio) - Mom/Mama, Dad/Daddy, Grandma and Grandpa (differentiated by last name), Gram (great-grandmother)

ETA - I do know people who's kids call their grandparents Mee-maw and Pap-paw, but not many.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I've never, ever heard these before.

lol I hadn't either, until I moved down here.

Another thing. Up in Michigan we said "Peek-a-boo" to play with babies and here they say "Peep-eye".

Oh, and they say Pat-a-Cake different from how I learned it in Michigan, too.

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

I have learned that the west coast often becomes forgotten about, or at least is left out.

I have learned that when people find out that people from New Jersey and Oregon do not pump their own gas, they freak out!

I have learned that people say "ten of eight" they're really saying "7:50".

I learned what "punch buggy" meant. We call it "slug bug".

Allergies... so many allergies.

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

Another thing. Up in Michigan we said "Peek-a-boo" to play with babies and here they say "Peep-eye".

Ew. That just sounds creepy.

 

[cluvsdisney]

We don't necessarily "do" covering your plate here, but I see it as a guideline of how much to give. So when you're thinking, I wonder how much I should give for this wedding? You can give about how much it cost to feed you. Makes perfect sense to me. It's not like your paying admission to get into the wedding, I'm sure no one is going to disown you if you can't give that. It's a guideline.

I guess others may find it offensive because they decide what to give based on their relationship with the person. Whereas with "covering your plate" you are deciding what to give based on the expense of the wedding. Honestly, both seem appropriate to me.

Exactly. I remember when I was younger and my mother explained "cover your plate" to me as she wants to give the couple a gift. So if they are paying $30 for my dinner, I'll give them $40 so they'll have a little extra to keep for themselves. Also, this guideline is used by the gift giver to determine their gift and not by the couple trying to figure out how much they should receive in gifts. Couples are generally not planning an extravagent wedding with the expectation that they will receive more in gifts then they paid for the wedding. There are always exeptions to that but for the most part, people are not throwing weddings to make money.

 

[cluvsdisney]

What does everyone call their parents and grandparents?

When I was a kid they were mummy, daddy, granny, grandad, great-gran and grandpop. As an adult I shortened my parents and grandmother to mum and dad and gran, though I do sometimes refer to my parents as mummy and daddy when I'm talking about them (but not TO them). Oh, and to differentiate between the grandparents I called them granny or grandad "lastname".

My grandparents were Nanny & Poppop and Grandma. When I refered to my Nanny, a lot of people think I mean care giver and not grandparent. My father's father died before I was born so I never called him anything but my father's father.

My parents used to be mommy & daddy, then mom & dad. Now I call my mother Ma and my father passed away so that's that. I refer to them as my mother, father, etc. sometimes I'll say my mom, but usually mother.

 

[Mkrop]

Regional differences are one thing, stereotypes and prejudice are another. Mjackmom is not getting raked over the coals for saying "people get married later here," but for saying that people don't live with "mommy and daddy," feeling "sorry" for people who didn't lead their lives exactly the way she did, and that people who get married in their 20s arouse suspicions of pregnancy.

I cant comment on the living with mommy and daddy, bc I did that as did many of,my friends although I definitely did that bc my dad died shortly after I graduated college and I stayed home to help my mom with two young boys.

It is a not a sterotype, or a prejudice, for the most part it is how it is done around here. I do feel sorry for my friends who got married too young, they did miss out on things I experienced and then put their families through hell when they choose partying over their spouse and young children.

And yes people did wonder if people were pregnant when they got married super young bc once again it was highly unusual around here. Most of the people that I knew who got married at 18, 19, 20 and 21, were pregnant. Like I stated MOST of my friends got married at 25 and up.

Some of this can be chalked up to regional and some of can probably chalked up to what was going on around us with our friends and family regardless of where we live.

Maybe bc we live near each other but I did not find any of her statements offensive, it is kind of what I have seen in my own life and friends around me.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Ew. That just sounds creepy.

I know it. I hate it.

 

[LilyWDW]

Us neither! In fact, we don't even have football - to us, football = soccer. The closest thing we have to American football is rugby, and it's only similar in that it's a ball tackle game rather than primarily a ball kicking game like soccer. I have never figured out why American football is even called that - they rarely kick the ball - only when they're going for a field goal as far as I can tell. Soccer is really the game that deserves the name "football", because you really do move the ball around with your feet the whole time!

I'm in the US and football=soccer to me. American football should be called Handegg. You use your hands and the ball is shaped like an egg. Makes a lot more sense to me.

Regional differences are one thing, stereotypes and prejudice are another. Mjackmom is not getting raked over the coals for saying "people get married later here," but for saying that people don't live with "mommy and daddy," feeling "sorry" for people who didn't lead their lives exactly the way she did, and that people who get married in their 20s arouse suspicions of pregnancy.

No, people are reading into what she said beyond what was meant. There ARE regional differences in how people view and feel about marriage age, living together, ect. So yes, in some areas, they might "feel sorry" for others who live differently then they do, no matter the reason.

This is about regional differences... and that IS a regional difference. As someone who has lived in two distinctly different areas of the country, it IS there.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I'm in the US and football=soccer to me. American football should be called Handegg. You use your hands and the ball is shaped like an egg. Makes a lot more sense to me.



No, people are reading into what she said beyond what was meant. There ARE regional differences in how people view and feel about marriage age, living together, ect. So yes, in some areas, they might "feel sorry" for others who live differently then they do, no matter the reason.

This is about regional differences... and that IS a regional difference. As someone who has lived in two distinctly different areas of the country, it IS there.

It was the "mommy" and "daddy" thing that got me. That's derisive and rude. It's insinuating that if someone lives with their mother or father (over the age of 18/19) that they're childish/lazy/haven't grown up.

 

[bluesaturn]

I live in Kentucky and I don't know anyone who got married that young, either. I was pretty young at 25. I think it's different in the smaller towns, but then it probably is different in the smaller towns near you, too.

What I don't understand is...you guys still have McDonald's, grocery stores, school janitors, drug stores with cashiers, locksmiths, bus drivers, etc. Does everyone bus in? Do they not marry? Never attend weddings?

I can understand if you live in an affluent community/subdivision/area, but to make such a broad statement about EVERYONE in your town/city/etc, just confuses me.

Well I didn't say the bolded part, so I can't really address it exactly. I don't live in NJ so I have a feeling mjkacmom's town situation is different. I can tell you about here though.

We don't really have "towns" the way other areas seem to. I mean of course we have towns and cities. But we tend to have stuff everywhere, not broken up into different towns. All the towns sort of run into each other. With all kinds of different housing is mixed in. Single family homes and low income housing may be be a few miles apart. There are certainly parts of our major suburban cities where someone who worked at McDonalds wouldn't be able to afford to live. There are parts where none of us could afford to live unless we were millionaires.

I guess I don't see the big deal because most people here don't live in the same town where they work. People just work where they find work, and live where they can afford to live.

I also don't know anyone who spends their entire life as a cashier or in a similar position. I'm not sure how you would support a family, unless you married someone who made more money. The cost of living is so high.

 

[U2_rocks!]

Forgot to mention - we don't pump our own gas here either. Well, a couple of gas stations set up special lanes for people who wanted to pump their own, but it isn't any cheaper to do so - just faster if the station is busy. Gas is also regulated, so it's the same price everywhere. Some gas stations differentiate themselves on service by cleaning your windshields while the gas is pumping, or offering to check your oil and water levels (no payment, not even tip, expected).

 

[bluesaturn]

Regional differences are one thing, stereotypes and prejudice are another. Mjackmom is not getting raked over the coals for saying "people get married later here," but for saying that people don't live with "mommy and daddy," feeling "sorry" for people who didn't lead their lives exactly the way she did, and that people who get married in their 20s arouse suspicions of pregnancy.

But in our area they do arouse suspicions of pregnancy. She never said everyone who gets married in their 20s must be pregnant. But she said, in my area if you get married in your early 20s people will think you must be pregnant. And they do. Because most of the people that get married early do so because they are pregnant (or just had a kid or something). Not everyone of course, but it happens often enough that pregnancy is the first thing people will assume.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Well I didn't say the bolded part, so I can't really address it exactly. I don't live in NJ so I have a feeling mjkacmom's town situation is different. I can tell you about here though.

We don't really have "towns" the way other areas seem to. I mean of course we have towns and cities. But we tend to have stuff everywhere, not broken up into different towns. All the towns sort of run into each other. With all kinds of different housing is mixed in. Single family homes and low income housing may be be a few miles apart. There are certainly parts of our major suburban cities where someone who worked at McDonalds wouldn't be able to afford to live. There are parts where none of us could afford to live unless we were millionaires.

I guess I don't see the big deal because most people here don't live in the same town where they work. People just work where they find work, and live where they can afford to live.

I also don't know anyone who spends their entire life as a cashier or in a similar position. I'm not sure how you would support a family, unless you married someone who made more money. The cost of living is so high.

Many can't. That's why there's welfare, etc. That's anywhere, though I'm sure it's worse in high COL areas.

But what I'm saying is, if there is low income housing, etc in your area, then certainly not everyone spends a lot of money on weddings (having them or going to them). I mean, unless they just either get married by a JOP or take out a huge loan for the wedding (which I doubt they could get). And not everyone can go to college, etc. That's what confuses me.

 

[tlbwriter]

It was the "mommy" and "daddy" thing that got me. That's derisive and rude. It's insinuating that if someone lives with their mother or father (over the age of 18/19) that they're childish/lazy/haven't grown up.

Yes, this is it. If she'd just said they lived at home with their parents it wouldn't have sounded like it was supposed to be an insult.

No, people are reading into what she said beyond what was meant. There ARE regional differences in how people view and feel about marriage age, living together, ect. So yes, in some areas, they might "feel sorry" for others who live differently then they do, no matter the reason.

I might feel sorry for others who live differently than I do if I feel they are disadvantaged. But it's generally meant as a snarky comment when you tell someone you feel sorry for them because they made different life choices than you did. If I had said "I feel sorry for people who had to wait so long to get married" or "I feel sorry for people who couldn't live in their parents' homes" you wouldn't find it the tiniest bit odd or off-putting?

 

[KristaTX]

Regional differences are one thing, stereotypes and prejudice are another. Mjackmom is not getting raked over the coals for saying "people get married later here," but for saying that people don't live with "mommy and daddy," feeling "sorry" for people who didn't lead their lives exactly the way she did, and that people who get married in their 20s arouse suspicions of pregnancy.

It was the "mommy" and "daddy" thing that got me. That's derisive and rude. It's insinuating that if someone lives with their mother or father (over the age of 18/19) that they're childish/lazy/haven't grown up.

Yes, this is it. If she'd just said they lived at home with their parents it wouldn't have sounded like it was supposed to be an insult.


I might feel sorry for others who live differently than I do if I feel they are disadvantaged. But it's generally meant as a snarky comment when you tell someone you feel sorry for them because they made different life choices than you did. If I had said "I feel sorry for people who had to wait so long to get married" or "I feel sorry for people who couldn't live in their parents' homes" you wouldn't find it the tiniest bit odd or off-putting?

Exactly. It was the manner and tone of how she talked about the differences. It sounds like she is putting some things down as inferior, and saying one way (HER area's way) is better. Kind of like "Why on earth would anyone ever live life THAT way ???".

It's not so unusual, though, on these threads. I always sense what a few "northerners" say about common southern ways (e.g. accents, words, foods, customs) as judgmental, and I don't think I'm always imagining it.
Even some ex-northerners who now choose to live in the south seem to enjoy mocking where they live and imply that the north and northern way is somehow better.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Exactly. It was the manner and tone of how she talked about the differences. It sounds like she is putting some things down as inferior, and saying one way (HER area's way) is better. Kind of like "Why on earth would anyone ever live life THAT way ???".

It's not so unusual, though, on these threads. I always sense what a few "northerners" say about common southern ways (e.g. accents, words, foods, customs) as judgmental, and I don't think I'm always imagining it.
Even some ex-northerners who now choose to live in the south seem to enjoy mocking where they live and imply that the north and northern way is somehow better.

I hope you don't mean me. I just hate "peep-eye" and "ink pen."

 

[tlbwriter]

I hope you don't mean me. I just hate "peep-eye" and "ink pen."

Nah, anyone with common sense hates those. I feel sorry for people who don't.

 

[KristaTX]

Yeah, I grew up with peek-a-boo, and peep-eye sounds dumb to me, too. But I guess it makes sense since you do peep with your eye, afterall.

I always thought Popeye's name was gross. Eye's popping ?? It really does look like his one eye is about to pop. Maybe that's how he got his name.

 

[luvtheworld16]

We really don't feel the need to cover our plate, it's just the perception of those in other areas. We are just generous. I thought this was about regional differences, not what is right or wrong. Weddings are huge events here, monetary gifts are larger than in other areas, people get married later, and start their families later, and when we're talking about boyfriends and girlfriends living together, I really see no shame in people in their later 20's being practical, and sharing an apartment or home, considering how high living expenses are.

Homes in other areas cost a fraction of what they cost here. Unfortuntately, although the salaries are higher here, they don't make up for all of the higher COL.

I believe it is the tone of mjkacmom. As if only in her area are people "generous" and it is only her area in which wedding are huge events. Even for us poor folk we try to be generous at weddings, although I'm sure my definition of generous is nowhere near what hers is. Wedding are huge events for us too, even if we don't spend an excessive amount of money on weddings. In my area even a cake and punch (and I've only been to one of those, dinner receptions are much more common) is a huge event. In my area some people get married around 20, others wait. No matter when a person gets married here in hicktown USA it is a big event.