Reassuring a guilty friend...

[tammymacb]

A quick backstory. Back when I bought into DVC, I tried to talk my husband into going down for the Food and Wine Festival. He declined. He'll go to WDW once a year, whether he likes it or not, and that's it. He told me to ask a couple of girlfriends.

5 years later, I'm still going annually with the same 2 girls. We have the best time and from the time we pack up the car to drive home, we're already planning next year. Well, I called them last week to let them know that we'd successfully scored a 1 bedroom at BCV for this year. Sweet! One of my girlfriends, though, said she feels guilty as I spend "so many of my points" on a trip without my family. I've reassured her that she shouldn't feel guilty at all. If they didn't go, I wouldn't go because I don't want to go alone. I honestly do look forward to this trip all year long.

I do pay the points, the two girls split the gas money, my guilty friend drives us in her car. We split groceries for the room from the Ormond Beach Walmart. We each buy our own dining plan and tickets. If I had my way, this trip will go on until we're too old to do it anymore.

Is there anything you'd do to convince someone not to feel guilty about this situation? It honestly isn't the first time she's said it, but she's always ready to go as soon as planning mode starts. I just don't want this to cause her to second guess down the road.

BTW- when I close on my last resale, I'll own 686 points.

We never go to WDW for more than 5 days at a time and are never so borrowed out that we can't do a family trip when we want. The girls and I do F&W for 3-4 nights. And my husband is honestly happy to see me go with my friends and have a good time.

There's really no down side.

 

[StitchFan73]

Tell her she's right and owes you a couple of thousand dollars Kidding. But beyond telling her what you told us here-there's not much more to say.

 

[dbs1228]

I am so jealous!!!!!!!!!! I brought 2 of my girlfriends last May for 6 nights (2 bedroom OKW) and wish I could do it every year! Unfortuneatly my DH loves WDW and always wants to go! I am still working on how I can make it happen.

My response to my friends was "I am very blessed to beable to do this. I am just paying it forward"

 

[bobbiwoz]

...
"I am very blessed to beable to do this. I am just paying it forward"

This is a very good response!

tammymacb, you really are lucky to have such good friends, and the ability to have a Gals time at such a great place! Enjoy your BCV stay!

Bobbi

PS. I'm having a gals time at AKV in September. We're hoping for a MNSSHP!

 

[tammymacb]

This is a very good response!

tammymacb, you really are lucky to have such good friends, and the ability to have a Gals time at such a great place! Enjoy your BCV stay!

Bobbi

I am very lucky. Love those girls.

 

[dianeschlicht]

I wish I had enough points to do a "ladies only" trip too, but DH likes it to much to give up one of our annual trips!

 

[bumbershoot]

She probably just wanted to be reassured that it's still something you WANT to do, CAN do, and can do *easily*. She probably feels better now.

 

[maburke]

The three of you should sit down and give each other your solemn promise that if there ever comes a time when one of you feels unable to go, whether because of money, points, family obligations, or whatever, you can just tell the others, no hard feelings, and the invitation will be extended again the next year, if possible. Dining plan and tickets are not cheap, so it's possible that it could be too much for one of them one year. But if everybody knows that you'll be honest if it isn't possible one year, they can enjoy it without fear that you're just doing it out of obligation.

I'm a big fan of open communication.

And enjoy! You are so lucky to have such great friends!

 

[TisBit]

I think she is just trying to give you an out, in case you don't want to continue the trips or feel you would rather use the points another way.

 

[sleepydog25]

A quick backstory. Back when I bought into DVC, I tried to talk my husband into going down for the Food and Wine Festival. He declined. He'll go to WDW once a year, whether he likes it or not, and that's it. He told me to ask a couple of girlfriends.

5 years later, I'm still going annually with the same 2 girls. We have the best time and from the time we pack up the car to drive home, we're already planning next year. Well, I called them last week to let them know that we'd successfully scored a 1 bedroom at BCV for this year. Sweet! One of my girlfriends, though, said she feels guilty as I spend "so many of my points" on a trip without my family. I've reassured her that she shouldn't feel guilty at all. If they didn't go, I wouldn't go because I don't want to go alone. I honestly do look forward to this trip all year long.

I do pay the points, the two girls split the gas money, my guilty friend drives us in her car. We split groceries for the room from the Ormond Beach Walmart. We each buy our own dining plan and tickets. If I had my way, this trip will go on until we're too old to do it anymore.

Is there anything you'd do to convince someone not to feel guilty about this situation? It honestly isn't the first time she's said it, but she's always ready to go as soon as planning mode starts. I just don't want this to cause her to second guess down the road.

BTW- when I close on my last resale, I'll own 686 points.

We never go to WDW for more than 5 days at a time and are never so borrowed out that we can't do a family trip when we want. The girls and I do F&W for 3-4 nights. And my husband is honestly happy to see me go with my friends and have a good time.

There's really no down side.

Show her this post of yours.

 

[khmiller]

Can this thread please be deleted before my wife sees it???

 

[Diegosmom]

ditto...I would send her an email (if she does email or print out the post) and say hey this i waht I posted on the dis...and this is how I truely feel I love our trips...

 

[bobbiwoz]

ditto...I would send her an email (if she does email or print out the post) and say hey this i waht I posted on the dis...and this is how I truely feel I love our trips...

If you are comfortable as describing her as feeling guilty.

 

[sweetdana]

Can this thread please be deleted before my wife sees it???

 

[sweetdana]

I have the points, so my options are I am not using them or I am going and I would much rather go with you than alone. Please join me, and if there comes a time it won't work you tell me and I will tell you.

Otherwise.. Life is about spending wonderful time with wonderful people and you are in the front of the line.

 

[BEASLYBOO]

As a single mother of an only child, I've always booked 2BR's to be able to bring DS's best friends and my friends. I've had the same comments about extending my beautiful villa year after year; DS was 3 years old when we bought DVC, now 14, we've shared many good times at Disney and my response is this:

Friends are the family we choose for ourselves!

and our friends, or extended family as I like to think of them, have enriched each and every vacations so there is nothing to feel guilty about! I do it because I can!

 

[psac]

I do pay the points, the two girls split the gas money, my guilty friend drives us in her car. We split groceries for the room from the Ormond Beach Walmart. We each buy our own dining plan and tickets.

To me, this sounds very fair, and neither friend is trying to take advantage of you. It's possible your friend could be looking for an "out" if she doesn't want to or can't go for some reason (can't afford the spending money this year or husband doesn't want her to go or whatever), but otherwise if it is just the guilt, reassure her that you're the one taking advantage of them! You wouldn't go alone without them, so their company is definitely worth it to you.

 

[tammymacb]

Thanks you all. I really don't think she's trying to back out. She's always soooo excited about the trip. We've already spent a bunch of time choosing restaurants etc for 2011. I'm sure before too long she'll ask me if I'm tie dying this year, too.

She always says she feels guilty about how much the trip *costs* me and I always say it's more than worth every penny. One of my favorite times of the year.

 

[girlsn980103]

Let her know how much these trips mean to you and that if you ever are not able to do it, you will let them know, and if they can't, they are free to do the same. (If one of them can't go, I am ALWAYS willing to make the sacrifice if you need another person. I won't pass up WDW!! Just pm me with our travel dates! LOL!)

If she is really worried about your costs, she could buy you dinner one night, or supply an "extra" for the trip. We are taking another family this year and they are paying the costs of our hotel on the way down and back. Totally unnecessary, but they said they wouldn't go if we didn't let them pay something. (We are staying in a Grand Villa, and they know enough about DVC to know how many points that is costing us.)

Go, have fun, and enjoy the Girls' Trip!! I'm very jealous! Maybe when the kids move out I'll have enough points to slip away for a few days with my friends! The problem is DH would probably want to do the same with his WDW friends!

mb

 

[CocosMeme]

Can this thread please be deleted before my wife sees it???

I mentioned to DH last night that maybe I would invite my best friend (a widow) to go with me to the F&W or maybe the Flower F. next year and he said "What about me?" I had no idea he would be upset about the idea of me going without him! It is nice to know that he really loves it as much as I do.