Real ID: Married Women Beware!

[Max G]

the marriage cert has to have a serial number on it.

My marriage license has a record number, not a serial number. It's also hand written but does have an official seal. Does this sound like a problem? My appointment is coming up soon

 

[fly girl]

My marriage license has a record number, not a serial number. It's also hand written but does have an official seal. Does this sound like a problem? My appointment is coming up soon

I think if you have a seal and a number, that is sufficient.

However, I’d look at your state’s website to make sure.

I’d also look at the county you were married at website. (That’s how I knew for certain my marriage certificate from 2000 was no longer valid proof. I needed a newer sealed version that they didn’t provide 19 years ago.)

 

[china mom]

I am glad I went with the passport instead of the marriage license. My license does not have a number, or a seal, or any English words. My official translation has an embassy stamp but no number or seal.

And, if Americans were any good at world geography, someone might realize that the embassy translation wasn't even from the country I got married in. There isn't a Cyprus Embassy in the US so I had to go to the Greek Embassy. But it's OK, only about five people know it is two separate countries and I doubt those five work at the DMV

 

[Lilsia]

Yes and if you do not have a copy of the ss card you can use a w2 a current w2 . I need to get a new ss card have no idea where mine is I saved it in a safe place...we all know how that goes. I had to get my marriage cert and birth cert and the marriage cert has to have a serial number on it. But op is correct it is more difficult for married women than men. What else is new? Does anyone know why they are doing this? I do and am not happy with the reason.

They are trying to weed out all of those people who have purchased stolen identities. So we are now having to have to prove that we are who we say we are. There are so many stolen identities out there where people are living their lives with someone else's name and SS number. It really is a big issue and a nightmare to try to fix. I am not sure if this will really make any kind of difference since people can buy all of this background paper work anyway.

 

[bcla]

My marriage license has a record number, not a serial number. It's also hand written but does have an official seal. Does this sound like a problem? My appointment is coming up soon

There’s nothing that says a vital record can’t be hand written. That’s pretty common in some places, like Massachusetts birth certificates issued by smaller cities.

 

[OhhBother]

Just an update to my original post. My new REAL ID driver’s license came in the mail today - less than a week since I ordered it online. A completely simple process in South Carolina. Amazing!

 

[Turksmom]

I found the website:

https://www.ssa.gov/myaccount/replacement-card.html
It says that residents of Alabama, Connecticut, Minnesota, Nevada, New Hampshire, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Utah, and West Virginia, as well as all US territories aren't eligible. It seems like it's a matter of working with the state/territory's DMV.

So SSA uses DMV to verify and DMV uses SSA?

 

[bcla]

So SSA uses DMV to verify and DMV uses SSA?

Seems like it. The requirement is that one needs a driver license or state ID. Must be linked some way.

 

[Bella the Ball 360]

See if you can get a replacement SS card online. I just did this, it was free, and I had it in a week.

What did you have to send to get it? I looked at the sight briefly. I would definitely rather do this than go to my local office.

 

[Bella the Ball 360]

There’s nothing that says a vital record can’t be hand written. That’s pretty common in some places, like Massachusetts birth certificates issued by smaller cities.

From what i understand in MA you need the newer version of the birth cert and the marriage license My thoughts are if you live in Ma it is a gamble I would get one just to be safe.

 

[LongLiveRafiki]

What did you have to send to get it? I looked at the sight briefly. I would definitely rather do this than go to my local office.

I think there are about 10 states that you can't get it online if you live there, but for the rest you can. I had to create an account on the SS site and they sent me an email with a link to verify the account. To get the SS card, there was a tab on the site after I logged in to request a replacement card and I just typed in my DL#, SS#, birthday, address, and name and they verified my info online and mailed the new card to me. I didn't have to actually send any documentation in or anything like that.

 

[bcla]

From what i understand in MA you need the newer version of the birth cert and the marriage license My thoughts are if you live in Ma it is a gamble I would get one just to be safe.

I think MA is different in that birth certificates are basically processed at the city level where county governments have limited roles. But then the state gets the records to create a state-level database and can produce their own version. I previously posted this one from Holyoke (posted to a genealogy website) and the form has all the requirements for a passport application even if it’s tiny.

 

[donaldbuzz&minnie]

I realize that this will never fly, and lots of women still love to give up their original last names to take their husband's, but I've wished for a long time that we had a system where:

Girl's names are passed through their mothers, and boy's names are passed through their fathers.
Mary Jane Doe marries John Robert Smith
Mary becomes Mary Jane Doe-Smith
John becomes John Robert Doe-Smith

Mary and John have a boy and a girl. Growing up both children have the last name Doe-Smith. The family is the Doe-Smith family.

Little Rebecca Doe-Smith, Mary and John's daughter, grows up and marries Steven Jones-Alcott. Rebecca becomes Rebecca Doe-Alcott. (Rebecca has dropped her father's name.) Steven becomes Steven Doe-Alcott because he has dropped his mother's name.) Rebecca and Steven and their children become the Doe-Alcott family.

Little Simon Doe-Smith, Mary and John's son, grows up and marries Barbara Harris-Finch. Simon and Barbara and their children become the Harris-Smith family. Simon has dropped his mother's name (Doe) and Barbara has dropped her father's name (Finch).

And so on.....

The girls never lose their mother's and grandmother's and great-grandmother's, etc names (Doe). The boys never lose their father's, grandfather's, great-grandfather's names (Smith).

The parents and children in each nuclear family always have the same last name.

Right now women are expected by society to do all the heavy lifting when it comes to names. Give up the last name they are born with (that can mean as much to a woman as to a man). Or choose to keep the original last name, which often means they will have a different last name from their children.

This thread has made it clear that it is women who are being inconvenienced the most by name changes. Official-dom assumes that the traditional male model of First, Middle, Last name, that remains the same throughout life. is the template. Women (and the few men) who do not fit that standard are then expected to jump through all the hoops to accommodate that model, at their own expense and waste of their time.

If both women and men were expected to change their names upon marriage, official-dom would have to figure out a way to change their forms and requirements to actually accommodate both men and women. And if they didn't, at least men would be in the same boat that women have been rowing for a very long time. (I'm picturing Ohio expecting every married man in that state who wants a Real Id this year to have to obtain, at his own expense and waste of time, a currently certified and notarized copy of his marriage license. Somehow, I'm not seeing it.)

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I realize that this will never fly, and lots of women still love to give up their original last names to take their husband's, but I've wished for a long time that we had a system where:

Girl's names are passed through their mothers, and boy's names are passed through their fathers.
Mary Jane Doe marries John Robert Smith
Mary becomes Mary Jane Doe-Smith
John becomes John Robert Doe-Smith

Mary and John have a boy and a girl. Growing up both children have the last name Doe-Smith. The family is the Doe-Smith family.

Little Rebecca Doe-Smith, Mary and John's daughter, grows up and marries Steven Jones-Alcott. Rebecca becomes Rebecca Doe-Alcott. (Rebecca has dropped her father's name.) Steven becomes Steven Doe-Alcott because he has dropped his mother's name.) Rebecca and Steven and their children become the Doe-Alcott family.

Little Simon Doe-Smith, Mary and John's son, grows up and marries Barbara Harris-Finch. Simon and Barbara and their children become the Harris-Smith family. Simon has dropped his mother's name (Doe) and Barbara has dropped her father's name (Finch).

And so on.....

The girls never lose their mother's and grandmother's and great-grandmother's, etc names (Doe). The boys never lose their father's, grandfather's, great-grandfather's names (Smith).

The parents and children in each nuclear family always have the same last name.

Right now women are expected by society to do all the heavy lifting when it comes to names. Give up the last name they are born with (that can mean as much to a woman as to a man). Or choose to keep the original last name, which often means they will have a different last name from their children.

This thread has made it clear that it is women who are being inconvenienced the most by name changes. Official-dom assumes that the traditional male model of First, Middle, Last name, that remains the same throughout life. is the template. Women (and the few men) who do not fit that standard are then expected to jump through all the hoops to accommodate that model, at their own expense and waste of their time.

If both women and men were expected to change their names upon marriage, official-dom would have to figure out a way to change their forms and requirements to actually accommodate both men and women. And if they didn't, at least men would be in the same boat that women have been rowing for a very long time. (I'm picturing Ohio expecting every married man in that state who wants a Real Id this year to have to obtain, at his own expense and waste of time, a currently certified and notarized copy of his marriage license. Somehow, I'm not seeing it.)

Not that I don't get where you're going but I can't imagine people will want to have that long of legal names all the time. As is it's a choice (well aside from if states have archaic old laws on the books--are those fully monitored BTW) what you do with your name.

I have a 9 letter first name followed by a 14 letter last name (it's my last name which is 5 letters combined with my husband's last name which is 9 letters) and if you add in my middle name that's 5 more letters. I already had issues on scantrons in school because my first name was 9 letters whereas they left a lot of space for the last name not so much for the first name and this was well before I got married.

My cards always have issues with getting the full name on there not to mention hyphens are an issue with companies. My Credit Card can have a hyphen my Debit Card cannot. In the interest of Mobile Banking I opted to not have my CC have my hyphen in there. Now I know other financial institutions don't have this issue but until none of them have an issue with hyphenated..

One thing I will say is all states should be giving people options not to get the REAL ID. To get a Passport you've got to have a certified copy of the marriage license if your name changed due to marriage and that's the same for REAL ID. But with a Passport you have a choice not to get it. If your state doesn't give you the option to have a non-REAL ID that def. adds to the frustration.

 

[bcla]

If both women and men were expected to change their names upon marriage, official-dom would have to figure out a way to change their forms and requirements to actually accommodate both men and women. And if they didn't, at least men would be in the same boat that women have been rowing for a very long time. (I'm picturing Ohio expecting every married man in that state who wants a Real Id this year to have to obtain, at his own expense and waste of time, a currently certified and notarized copy of his marriage license. Somehow, I'm not seeing it.)

I have a few Chinese friends, and the tradition is that there's never a legal name change simply because of a marriage. That being said, the ones I've known who have immigrated to the west have adopted more of a western style naming convention of adopting the husband's family name. It might also make it harder to go back where they might want to match the names on a US passport to any legal name.

I didn't quite understand it, but apparently the tradition is more patriarchal, where even a married woman is supposed to be identified with her father's name.

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/12/world/asia/china-women-surnames.html

 

[bcla]

Not that I don't get where you're going but I can't imagine people will want to have that long of legal names all the time. As is it's a choice (well aside from if states have archaic old laws on the books--are those fully monitored BTW) what you do with your name.

Since the primary use of Real ID will be for air travel, I have heard of cases where someone had a real problem because the name was so long that it couldn't be spelled out on an airline ticket or boarding pass. They just ran out of space for any more characters or spaces.

 

[Chuck S]

Aren't most states already Real ID compliant? Texas DLs have been for a few years.

 

[jerseygal]

IF you changed your name when you married, you MUST have a social security card with the new married name on it, another words official change is noted on Social Security Database. IF you file a joint tax return and you don't have your name on your SS card, your joint tax return will be REJECTED. The IRS database is crosschecked to SS Administration. Some married women, like my DIL, choose to retain their maiden name. So for example, when the newly married couple completes a joint tax return, it will be filed under John Smith and Mary Martin. Both names will be cross checked to the Social Security Database. Rejected tax returns for the first year of the marriage for newly married couples are pretty common.

 

[jerseygal]

I have had a REAL Drivers license for a few years now. Most states by now are requiring it. Not a big issue, when you renew your DL, bring birth certificate, proof of residency, some state require a few pieces of recent postmarked mail to the current address, Social Security card. Was not an issue at all. If you have a passport, don't even need to bring the birth certificate.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Aren't most states already Real ID compliant? Texas DLs have been for a few years.

As far as I remember reading several years ago requirements were updated. States that are compliant now won't be October 2020 without the actual REAL IDs being issued. You won't be able to use a non-REAL ID DL to fly domestically after that date.

Like I mentioned my state has been compliant since 2007. However, after the requirements for the information and whatnot were updated the state was fully ready to issue the REAL IDs themselves that contain the updated information and started issuing REAL IDs in 2017 and did this voluntarily so more citizens would have the option for the REAL ID prior to the deadline.

What did happen is several states still weren't compliant even before the requirements were updated; those were ones that requested exemptions and extensions, etc. It probably depended on where you lived but there was a lot of uproar in Jan 2018 when states that were considered non-compliant at that time were unable to use their DL to gain access to Federally-owned land (military bases, cemetaries, other memorials and whatnot where an ID was required, etc). For me living in KS next to the border of MO I heard a ton about how Missourians were presented problems with this. Now MO did end up stating they would be compliant (they caved) but that their process would take 2 years to implement on DLs because they waited soooooo long.