Rant - Stepkids & Husband

[NewRVLady]

That's what I was thinking too. What kind of mother schedules a vacation without her children during the time she gets to have them?

ETA - I just read that the mother never went on vacation. That's even worse.

OP stated a few pages back that when they returned the kids.....
The MOM stayed home the whole 2 weeks !!!!!
No vacation
So the Biological Mom stayed away from her kids over Christmas by choice

 

[NFLDERS]

Oh, sorry. I must have missed something in skimming--I read that as you meant that you literally did not discuss with him at all and somewhere along the line I got the impression that he was not aware you planned on going out of town (thus him thinking you would be around to watch all the kids each day).

Then I will go back to your husband was wrong not to talk to you about the situation and be sure it worked for you before agreeing to change plans and have the kids while he was going to be at work. And I am glad you spoke with him and he sees the light and will not pull such a stunt again.

 

[smiths02]

I am going to put the stepmothering issues aside since I have no personal experience with a blended family.

However, I think the OP is justified at being angry with her DH.
DH and I have three children.
Due to our work situations, I am the default for childcare (outside of daycare). I still expect common courtesy like to be asked/notified if DH's work schedule changes.

I have twins in daycare. They went to daycare a few days each week over Christmas break since we have to pay for the weeks anyhow (I work for the schools, so I get Christmas break as well). My older DS stayed at home with me. [The twins were in daycare 6.5 days over the 17 day break, so they still spent the majority with us, plus evenings/nights]

If my DH just told the daycare that the younger two would not be coming at all those two weeks because he wanted to spend more time with them. Then he went to work AND wasn't really helping, I would be upset as well.

 

[SoScary'09]

Have you told your DH how you feel?

I agree with others that when you marry a person with kids, it's a package deal.

Your son lives with you fulltime, but your husband's children don't?

This.

There's a lot more going on here than OP wants us to notice. I say good luck. Doesn't sound like this is going to last.

 

[ChattaAlley]

This.

There's a lot more going on here than OP wants us to notice. I say good luck. Doesn't sound like this is going to last.

Did you not read a later post by OP saying her and her husband talked and that he saw her side? Geez dude . . . read a little and don't spread your negativity.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

My biggest pet peeve of the DIS is that people don't read! We are on page 18 for a reason!

 

[maleficent32]

This.

There's a lot more going on here than OP wants us to notice. I say good luck. Doesn't sound like this is going to last.

Why, because her dh's kids don't live in the house full time? You did read that those kids have a mother right, maybe they have joint custody and the kids split their time between 2 homes. That is pretty common with divorced parents

 

[drinkme]

I've just read from page 12 on but I'm amazed at the harsh comments about how is OPs dh going to get to work without a car!! Lol. I'm glad my dh & kids can figure this trivial matter for themselves. Apparently her dh isn't helpless!! Lol.

 

[AC7179]

I feel bad for you step parents, you are damned if you do and damned if you don't.
I'm sure it won't be too long before a thread is started about a stepchild doing something, the step parent wanting to do something about it, and everyone saying its the parents job, not yours...........

you guys can't win

As a step parent, this is the truth.

 

[lauradis]

Op this is why the divorce rate for second marriage with children mix in is over

70%

 

[cm8]

Op this is why the divorce rate for second marriage with children mix in is over

70%

You're kidding right?
OP, those children would be heartbroken to learn that their mom ditched them for some alone time. I would be pissed to the second power had that been me. I'm sure you would have literally seen my head explode like this simile

 

[JanaDee]

You're kidding right?

Sixty percent of second marriages end in divorce. I can see that number going higher when children are involved.

 

[lauradis]

You're kidding right?
OP, those children would be heartbroken to learn that their mom ditched them for some alone time. I would be pissed to the second power had that been me. I'm sure you would have literally seen my head explode like this simile

Sixty percent of second marriages end in divorce. I can see that number going higher when children are involved.

I could post links all day


The Divorce rate is higher in second marriages and most experts belief its because the add stress of blended families.

http://ideas.time.com/2013/10/04/why-second-marriages-are-more-perilous/

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...-high-failure-rate-second-and-third-marriages

Past statistics have shown that in the U.S. 50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second, and 73% of third marriages end in divorce.

http://www.womansday.com/sex-relationships/dating-marriage/divorce-facts

Myth #3: Second marriages are more likely to last than first marriages.

Again, this myth seems logical. After all, you’d learn a lot from a first marriage that you can apply to a second marriage. And wouldn’t you be more cautious about agreeing to tie the knot again? Even though studies show slightly different rates, one thing’s for sure—giving marriage another go definitely ups the chances of divorce. Roughly 67% to 80% of second marriages end in divorce, while third marriages crumble at an even higher rate, says Opperman. This could be because “divorce doesn’t help us choose a better partner or be a better mate in our next relationship. Divorce teaches us how to divorce,” says Wendy Walsh, PhD, CNN’s relationship expert and author of The 30-Day Love Detox. In other words, if you already know how to get divorced, the more likely you see it as an option.

 

[lauradis]

OP after reading all the craziness, oh honey I'm sorry, he treated you this way.

What a rotten thing to do.. glad you talked to him.