Decided to make it a separate post, in case someone needs to avoid the topic.
Sorry for the long post...TLDR; problems with DS have been occupying my life for the last 2 months. Trigger warning: Suicide Attempts
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DS has been seeing a therapist of some sort, off and on since 7th grade, when he lost a good friend/fellow Scout to suicide right before Halloween; steady in 7th and 8th; sporadic in 9th and part of 10th as he was doing better. She moved, and he said he was doing fine, and didn't need any more help.
Then the pandemic hit. From March 2020-May 2021, he seemed to be handling things ok. Then he started gettting very angry, sullen; not cleaning himself or his room; not eating good or sleeping; so we started trying to find anyone to talk to him. The place he was with before had zero openings, both online and in person; and no one in our area was taking new patients or had openings. We finally found an opening for a teen therapist online. He started with her in June, right before we went to WDW. We were paying OOP for the teen therapist, as they didn't take our insurance, but that was ok, we just wanted to get him some sort of help. I don't think the therapist 'clicked' with him, but he didn't try very hard to work with her.
Two weeks before his 18th birthday, DS attempted suicide. It was about 8pm, we were in the living room watching tv, and he was in his room. He went in the kitchen, grabbed a kitchen knife and tried to cut his wrists. He was....keening, I guess is the best way to describe it....so I got up to see what was going on, and saw him. I was able to stop him; we took him into the living room, and DH sat with him while I made some phone calls. We took him to Wolfson Children's Downtown, to the ER. We got to the ER about 9pm, and he was taken back about midnight. I was there with him; DH went home after they admitted him to the ER for observation, about 1am, as we both couldn't stay.
They said he needed to be admitted to a program, and they could do it at Children's, but it would mean another 48 hours minimum in the ER (with him being watched by a nurse constantly, except going to the bathroom, and I had to escort him there...the bathroom had no mirror, or anything on could break or use to hurt themselves) because they were short on beds (half were COVID adult patient overflowed into Children's) and there were 18 juveniles who needed help that night alone OR we could find a private place to admit him. So, we found a private place for emergency help with the help of Children's (St. Simons By The Sea, up in Georgia), and they arranged to have an ambulance drive him up there (we weren't allowed to drive him there); and they were able to get him in that day. They couldn't pick him up until about 9pm (so we were at the ER for 24 full hours, almost to the minute); they had 2 other patients they were transporting up to SSBTS from our hospital, and they had been in first.
They dx'd him with severe depression and anxiety. He was there for a full week (usually 3-5 days, for the emergency care section), as he was having some trouble with the medications they were trying. First one caused an allergic reaction (rash, itching) so he couldn't take it, but the second one seems to be ok. He's on Effexor, started with 75mg, but was bumped to 150mg by the NP this week.
We changed his online therapist to a different one on the same site (she deals exclusively with anxiety and depression, and he seems to fit with her better); and he sees a mental health nurse practitioner for his meds. Still no therapists in our area that have openings, not even the ones that see only geriatic patients; I even tried to get him in with the maternity therapists...yes there is a group here that exclusively deals with pregnant (pre/post too) and their families, but they said no since no one is pregnant. He sees the online therapist every week, and the NP once a month, and she does a telehealth visit with him now, too. The NP is at a clinic that has a therapist, but he has no space for now; DS is waitlisted in case an opening comes up; he's also still waitlisted for the place he was seeing a therapist before the pandemic, and they have group sessions that he's waitlisted for as well.
He is doing better; he is bathing regularly, taking his meds without issue, eating better, and sort of keeping his room clean (better than it was before...now it's just teen mess). Less online time, less time in his room, more time eating meals with us, or watching shows (we started Ted Lasso with him; we watched already, but wanted him to see it).
But, he is struggling with going out of the house to places...he is terrified he is going to bring home Covid. He is vaccinated fully, and got his booster a few weeks ago, so him bringing home Covid is not a big concern. (I'll admit, I lied to the Walgreen guy and said DS is getting a job at Publix and we wanted him to be extra protected before he went to work...as grocery workers were allowed to get boosters; the Walgreens guy said he didn't care, the company didn't care, they just wanted to get shots in arms.) Plus DH is back to work again (he was back over the summer, but then they had 4 unvaxxed guys come down +, so he came back home for 6 weeks) so if he gets it from anywhere, it'll be from work or going out at lunch.
So, we are slowly getting him out in public; quick trips to get the mail or to the grocery store, and a couple of movies, but during the day, when it's not busy at all. He'll go out walking with no problem, and he's getting a new bike for Christmas (his request), so he can go riding around (DH and DS are going to pick one out today, hopefully). He has gone out with a buddy a couple of times, and he seems to be ok as long as it's not a crowded area, and not overly loud.
He dropped out of high school (I tried to talk him out of it, but he said it was his choice, and as he is 18, I can't stop him...but we did tell him he had to get his GED and he is taking the prep classes for it, and is scheduled for a test in January). He was in his senior year, and could have gotten everything done (he had kept up on his two computer classes, but didn't do anything in the other 4); but he said he was tired of taking classes that were 'useless' (his words). He still wants to take drafting classes, so he's looking at starting after that, and doing only a couple of classes at a time. It'll take longer for him to get his degree, but he feels that doing it that way will help him. We're ok with him living at home, and supporting him, as long as he needs the help, as long as he's trying to get better.
So...that's my life lately.
to all.
We have a local place called Battery One, who I plan on calling this morning. If they don't have the one we need, it will give them a few days to order one. Advance Auto, Autozone, Napa, and 
for those I missed, and 
for those who need them.
Lynn and please don't overdo it today! Also praying, of course, for Mr. L to sleep better overall and transition into bed. That does not provide consistent sleep for either of you when he is restless 
