Purity Balls? Yuck

[roomthreeseventeen]

There's nothing wrong with being chaste, or encouraging young people to remain so, until marriage. Jmo

I actually think there is. Sexual compatibility is a huge component of marriage, or any relationship. Encouraging teenagers or young adults not to explore a part of what makes them human is IMHO not good.

 

[luvsJack]

So some of you are saying that you encourage teens to have sex? So they can "test drive" the product?

 

[jrmasm]

So some of you are saying that you encourage teens to have sex? So they can "test drive" the product?

I seriously doubt that's what they're saying. Before MARRIAGE which I doubt most people think teens should enter into.

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

So some of you are saying that you encourage teens to have sex? So they can "test drive" the product?

First of all, there is nothing wrong with teens having sex. Safely, and with a lot of education. That is, biologically, what they are built for. But the main argument is that nobody should be waiting until their wedding night.

 

[Burnedout]

Seriously. I don't care what other people do but I didn't need to test drive anyone else. I am quite happy with results lol.

My sons will make whatever choices are best for them. They know that their choices could make or break their future. And they know about bc, never to trust the girl, and to be alternatives. Frankly maybe it is just the homeschool crowd in general but learning about their bodies, and their choices is taught a whole lot more and a lot more personally than the standard "this is a condom and blowing it up to see how big it gets" talk that I've done all over the county.

There is oftentimes coercion involved in teen sex. So oftentimes there is a problem with teens being sexually involved.

 

[RitaE]

I think that is what everybody means by anything taken to an extreme can get bothersome.

I no more encourage teens to run around having sex left and right to try it out than I celebrate a young person's intact hymen by oohing and awwwwing over a Purity Ring and attending some sort of chastity celebration party.

 

[ilovemk76]

Not everyone that makes the vow will break it before high school. I really don't get the assumption that ALL teen-agers will have sex before they leave high school. Its not true.

I don't agree with making this vow a public spectacle and have said that. I was referring to the problem that so many are saying about the vow causing more problems or not working.

The ring makes it a public spectacle. A person, male or female, can decide to wait until _______ and not let anybody else know about it. No need to put on a ring to SHOW everybody that you will be pure.

I think that is what everybody means by anything taken to an extreme can get bothersome.

I no more encourage teens to run around having sex left and right to try it out than I celebrate a young person's intact hymen by oohing and awwwwing over a Purity Ring and attending some sort of chastity celebration party.

 

[luvsJack]

I seriously doubt that's what they're saying. Before MARRIAGE which I doubt most people think teens should enter into.

Ok, that makes more sense.

First of all, there is nothing wrong with teens having sex. Safely, and with a lot of education. That is, biologically, what they are built for. But the main argument is that nobody should be waiting until their wedding night.

There is a lot wrong with teens having sex. Teens have a very different mind set than adults. They do things without thinking of the consequences and without planning ahead. They think everyone they date or talk to is "the one" and their soul mate when in fact they do not have the maturity and the tools to understand the feelings of the other person and that this person will be gone from their lives in a short time. They are impatient and want what they want NOW not when they get to know the person better or to even know they are making a good choice.

There is so much more to sex than making sure it is "safe". Biologically they may be built for it, but emotionally they are not. All humans are biologically built for sex. Some girls are able to reproduce as young as 10 or 11. Doesn't mean they should be having sex.

Waiting for marriage is a religious view and there is nothing wrong with that. Many do it and are very happy in their choice. But I cannot imagine not encouraging any teen to wait until they are at least ready emotionally and for the right partner.

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

Ok, that makes more sense.

There is a lot wrong with teens having sex. Teens have a very different mind set than adults. They do things without thinking of the consequences and without planning ahead. They think everyone they date or talk to is "the one" and their soul mate when in fact they do not have the maturity and the tools to understand the feelings of the other person and that this person will be gone from their lives in a short time. They are impatient and want what they want NOW not when they get to know the person better or to even know they are making a good choice.

There is so much more to sex than making sure it is "safe". Biologically they may be built for it, but emotionally they are not. All humans are biologically built for sex. Some girls are able to reproduce as young as 10 or 11. Doesn't mean they should be having sex.

Waiting for marriage is a religious view and there is nothing wrong with that. Many do it and are very happy in their choice. But I cannot imagine not encouraging any teen to wait until they are at least ready emotionally and for the right partner.

Well, I disagree with everything in this post, lol. I guess that's what makes us different.

 

[luvsJack]

I think that is what everybody means by anything taken to an extreme can get bothersome.

I no more encourage teens to run around having sex left and right to try it out than I celebrate a young person's intact hymen by oohing and awwwwing over a Purity Ring and attending some sort of chastity celebration party.

I agree there are extremes either way. And as usual, its probably somewhere in the middle that is the better choice and of course each person has to decide which side of the middle is best for them

The ring makes it a public spectacle. A person, male or female, can decide to wait until _______ and not let anybody else know about it. No need to put on a ring to SHOW everybody that you will be pure.

Most rings aren't flashing lights saying "purity", they are simple rings that no one but the wearer may know what they are and the people they choose to tell. And I seriously doubt most of the teens that wear them discuss them with just anyone.

It shouldn't be about a ring or a ceremony or a "ball". It shouldn't be about their father or anyone else. It only needs to be about the teen.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

So some of you are saying that you encourage teens to have sex? So they can "test drive" the product?

I am not going to encourage teens to "give it out for free to everyone", however If they are in a committed relationship then pretty much it is going to happen.

Does not mean I have to like the fact that they are sleeping together but I am not going to pretend they are chaste either or fall over if they are sleeping together.

This is something that is very personal to people and if your values are important with "remaining chaste until marriage" then that is fine for you.

I just do not share that sentiment.

 

[ilovemk76]

I agree there are extremes either way. And as usual, its probably somewhere in the middle that is the better choice and of course each person has to decide which side of the middle is best for them



Most rings aren't flashing lights saying "purity", they are simple rings that no one but the wearer may know what they are and the people they choose to tell. And I seriously doubt most of the teens that wear them discuss them with just anyone.

It shouldn't be about a ring or a ceremony or a "ball". It shouldn't be about their father or anyone else. It only needs to be about the teen.

I would believe this IF the ring was not worn on the marriage ring finger.

 

[luvsJack]

I would believe this IF the ring was not worn on the marriage ring finger.

All kinds of rings are worn on that finger. Some have meaning, some don't.

DD's bff wears a ring that her father gave her mother a long time ago. Its a band that has an inscription with their names on the inside. She wears it on her left hand, ring finger. I have no clue if it has any other meaning to her, but from all that may ask, its simply a ring that her father gave her mother.

 

[leebee]

All kinds of rings are worn on that finger. Some have meaning, some don't.

DD's bff wears a ring that her father gave her mother a long time ago. Its a band that has an inscription with their names on the inside. She wears it on her left hand, ring finger. I have no clue if it has any other meaning to her, but from all that may ask, its simply a ring that her father gave her mother.

Who knows? Maybe that's her mom's "going steady" ring, and her mom wore it on her left hand because that's where you wear rings from your boyfriend.

I don't know any teen girls who wear any ring other than something from a boyfriend on the ring finger of their left hand… unless it's an engagement or wedding ring (and then usually not teens). DD wears my original wedding ring and her grandmother's wedding ring on her ring finger on her RIGHT hand. As she said, the left hand is for her boyfriend, and in the US this signals a love relationship. Ergo, in the US, wearing a purity ring on the left hand signifies that you are married to god and daddy is your boyfriend.

I don't profess to understand following a religion. However, if the beliefs and teachings are so fundamental, how is it that the girls aren't trusted to believe and follow them and instead need to take vows and wear rings to uphold the belief?

 

[chiefmickeymouse]

Historically, the whole point of female chastity was to ensure any offspring were of the lineage of the husband once the woman married. As for the biblical side of it, there are many guidelines for women in the New Testament that we choose to ignore. Anyone covering their hair out there? Learning in silence?

Do I want my kids to be out there having sex? Heck no, wish they'd wait until they are 45. I don't want to make such an issue of it that they are afraid to talk to me about it.

 

[luvsJack]

Who knows? Maybe that's her mom's "going steady" ring, and her mom wore it on her left hand because that's where you wear rings from your boyfriend.

I don't know any teen girls who wear any ring other than something from a boyfriend on the ring finger of their left hand… unless it's an engagement or wedding ring (and then usually not teens). DD wears my original wedding ring and her grandmother's wedding ring on her ring finger on her RIGHT hand. As she said, the left hand is for her boyfriend, and in the US this signals a love relationship. Ergo, in the US, wearing a purity ring on the left hand signifies that you are married to god and daddy is your boyfriend.

I don't profess to understand following a religion. However, if the beliefs and teachings are so fundamental, how is it that the girls aren't trusted to believe and follow them and instead need to take vows and wear rings to uphold the belief?

Well, her father and mother are not together anymore and she has not seen her father in years. I think she wears it simply to have something from him.

Most of the girls in dd's circle wear all kinds of rings. Some on the left hand, some not. And the rings may change daily. Even the ones that have a purity ring don't all wear it on the same finger. One wears it on a chain around her neck. Another girl and her bf bought their rings together so no "daddy" involved in that one.

The article is with the ball is one way done by one church. There are not ceremonies going on in every Christian church in the country. And until this article, I have never even hear the "daddy is your boyfriend" thing. So, the ring does not automatically signify what this one article is saying.

The ring is simply supposed to be a physical reminder to the one wearing it.

I don't believe anyone "needs" to wear a ring or even make a vow. No more than I need to make a vow or wear a ring to follow my faith. Dd simply told me that she did this during one of our many talks about relationships and boys. She just said that any boy she dates will have to understand this and accept it or she knows he isn't the one for her to date.

 

[luvsJack]

Historically, the whole point of female chastity was to ensure any offspring were of the lineage of the husband once the woman married. As for the biblical side of it, there are many guidelines for women in the New Testament that we choose to ignore. Anyone covering their hair out there? Learning in silence?

Do I want my kids to be out there having sex? Heck no, wish they'd wait until they are 45. I don't want to make such an issue of it that they are afraid to talk to me about it.

Your last statement is the key. Not matter what the teen chooses, they should never be afraid to talk about it.

 

[pigletgirl]

I don't profess to understand following a religion. However, if the beliefs and teachings are so fundamental, how is it that the girls aren't trusted to believe and follow them and instead need to take vows and wear rings to uphold the belief?

It isn't they aren't trusted. It's the outward statement they're making to remain abstinent and pure until marriage. Now, again if sex is something that isn't talked about openly in the home that's a whole different set of issues.

 

[DeaverTex]

The reason that so much of this (purity rings, purity balls, etc.) is aimed at girls is very simple. Boys can't get pregnant. The equivalent function for boys would be to have a group of fathers who have daughters take the boys out to a working ranch on the day they're gelding sheep, horses, etc. And stand there, sagely nodding at the animal husbandry activities.

I've always been deeply grateful that we never had a daughter. I'm afraid that I'd have been tempted to lock her in her room as soon as she started getting girl-shaped, and not let her out until she turned 30. Originally it would have been until she turned 40, but Mrs. Tex said that was excessive. That said, the notion of marrying God is disturbing to me, because I always understood that was what Catholic nuns did -- they even wore wedding rings. I won't even go into "Daddy is my boyfriend". That's just sick if the girl is more than about six years old.

 

[ilovemk76]

The reason that so much of this (purity rings, purity balls, etc.) is aimed at girls is very simple. Boys can't get pregnant. The equivalent function for boys would be to have a group of fathers who have daughters take the boys out to a working ranch on the day they're gelding sheep, horses, etc. And stand there, sagely nodding at the animal husbandry activities.

I've always been deeply grateful that we never had a daughter. I'm afraid that I'd have been tempted to lock her in her room as soon as she started getting girl-shaped, and not let her out until she turned 30. Originally it would have been until she turned 40, but Mrs. Tex said that was excessive. That said, the notion of marrying God is disturbing to me, because I always understood that was what Catholic nuns did -- they even wore wedding rings. I won't even go into "Daddy is my boyfriend". That's just sick if the girl is more than about six years old.