PURE PICKLE - In-Laws Going Same Time (My "Secret" Trip)

[Jazzerfan]

Here's my dilemma, My husband and I planned a "secret" Disney weekend for our Anniversary May 1-5. We've kept it secret for a bunch a reasons (too many to mention) and have it all paid for, fast passes done, dining booked etc.

My in-laws were planning on visiting a friend in Tampa later in May, but now have decided to go earlier and to Disney for a couple days before this and the same exact days we are there. What are the chances??? Can't believe this!!!! I love them dearly, but just want time alone - first visit there without the kids since our honeymoon 23 years ago!!!

I would tell them this, but I know they would be disappointed and hurt that we didn't want to spend time with them or show them around since we've been at Disney so often.

They are staying off property and haven't been there in several years so I am pretty certain we wouldn't run into them. I would re-schedule, but it's too late and my airfare in non-refundable and too expensive to change.

One solution per my hubby, is just to text them each day and ask them what park they are visiting and go opposite. Good solution, but then it would hinder our booked fastpass+ choices. UGGHHHH!!!!!

Opinions - What would you do? In a pickle and pure dilemma!!!!

 

[JaimeA]

I would ask for their itinerary now to "help them out" and adjust yours accordingly. Wow what are the odds

 

[Robo]

Have a great trip!

 

[HappyDaisy]

Why would they assume you didn't want to spend time with them? I'd just be honest and tell them you've planned an anniversary trip so the two of you could be alone. I'm betting they'll be a lot more understanding than you think. Then, you can plan something special with the entire family when you get back.

 

[Indecisive]

I think it is risky to hide this from them. God forbid any medical issue or other event happens that causes you to have to contact each other and then they find out that you were there all along and hadn't told them. And although the odds of running into them are low, so were the odds of them planning a trip for the same time as you! I would just come clean and say something like, "I feel a little awkward about this but, coincidentally, DH and I had also planned a trip to WDW for those same dates. I hope you'll understand that since this trip is for our Anniversary, we want to spend our vacation alone as a couple." Judging by their reaction, maybe you could offer to meet up with them for dinner one night or something (if possible).

 

[vrajewski10513]

I think they'd be alot more understanding if you just told them the truth, rather than trying to be sneaky.

 

[sullyfam]

I would tell them. If you don't, you run the risk of causing yourself unnecessary worry and stress when you are trying to enjoy your trip. I'd be holding my breath around every corner thinking I would bump into them. And with my luck, I probably would! Talk about an awkward conversation.

Just tell them that you really are looking forward to the alone time and hopefully you'll be pleasantly surprised when they tell you they would be more than happy to leave you alone. And IF for some reason they wanted to get together, maybe you could schedule 1 meal or 1 quick meet up? That way you would be in control of whether or not you see them and for how long.

I would also be worried about post - trip and slipping up in conversation at some point about the anniversary trip you took or pictures surfacing etc. As they say, the truth always comes out and then it would be a REALLY awkward conversation.

 

[DisneyFive]

Wow, that's crazy!!!

I think you kinda have to tell them. I think they will understand. If your schedules do intersect, plan a few hours together. That should suffice them, and not take much time out of your schedule. Heck, maybe they want to tour on their own too!

Dan

 

[grimley1968]

In my experience, we run into every single person we know that happens to be at WDW the same time we are. It's a frustrating (to me) effect of living in a small town and only being able to go to WDW during school breaks. At this point we assume we will run into people we know every trip.

In your case, OP, I'd politely explain the nature of your trip to the in-laws. In-laws should understand you want your privacy and leave you to your trip, but if you do happen to run across them at some point in the trip, at least it won't be as awkward as if they didn't know you were in the area at all. Even though it may not be what you consider a "second honeymoon", it might be a good idea to say it is one to your in-laws, and hopefully they can take the hint.

 

[Spunky946]

Another vote for telling then ahead of time.

 

[WEDWDW]

IMHO-MUCH less stress in being up front with them.

 

[marchingstar]

OP: this sounds like a huge drag! I'm really sorry you're having to deal with such a sticky situation around a getaway trip! I think if I were in your situation the most important way to think is which option will be the easiest for you to deal with. So is it going to be easier to tell them you're going, and that you want to do mostly couple things, or to not and potentially change plans on the fly? Especially since you've hinted at some underlying stuff behind this secret trip, I don't think anyone here can tell you which will be the right call for you.

If you do choose to keep it from them, I would definitely agree with JaimeA--make a calendar with them and "help" them plan what park they'll hit each day. Help them book their FP+. If there's any day you can't talk them out of visiting the park you've planned, you still have lots of time to adjust your plans accordingly.

 

[kaetra]

You could tell them, explain "Anniversary Trip, just us two!" and then offer to meet them for a single meal somewhere. Do you think that would placate them, especially since none of their grandkids are going to be with you?

Even though chances are slim you'd run into them, if you did they might get hurt feelings. One meal with them wouldn't be terrible and they might say "no", even to that.

 

[IWRBIE]

I say suck it up and have one meal with them, then make it clear that this is an anniversary trip and you’ll send them plenty of pictures when you get back home.

 

[OZMom]

"Wow, what a coincidence, DH and I were planning on celebrating our anniversary at Disney that weekend. We are keeping it a secret because we are really looking forward to a romantic getaway and spending some quality time just the 2 of us. Maybe we can grab breakfast one of the mornings we're there"

Done and done. No sneaking around, but you've set the boundary. One breakfast won't kill the mood of your trip, if they even agree to it. If you make it clear that this is for your anniversary, they may take the hint and stay away

Honestly, I'm spoiled with my in laws so I realize it may not actually be that easy for you, but this is what I would do.

 

[ninafeliz]

My initial thought was what you said, to find out where they would be and then go to different parks. But then, after thinking about it and reading the other posts here I have changed my mind. I think you should tell them, and I think to help "soften the blow" you should have a nice meal with them one evening. I know it's your anniversary trip, but you are there more than one night and how often will you coincidentally all be at Disney the same time? I know with both my family and my husband's family, if we had a trip at the same time it would not be fully "understood" (in the least little bit) if we chose to not see them at all, and honestly I also understand where they would be coming from. I personally think it would be kind of a slap in the face to say we don't want to see you at all, even for a couple of hours. (I truly don't mean to be rude, it you disagree or your family is different just ignore what I say!! I just know it wouldn't work for us, with our family dynamics). As for not telling them, besides the what if's (what if there is an emergency, what if you run in to each other), it would mean you couldn't discuss it afterwards, and you could never show pictures, etc...

 

[GillianP1301]

That is terrible luck on the timing! I totally get not wanting to turn a romantic getaway trip into an in-law trip. But, I think I would tell them the truth because even if you don't run into them (chances are very good you never would), it could also easily end up coming up in conversation after the fact and do you want to have to be careful never to mention to them that you went on this trip? I would explain that it is a getaway for the two of you and that you very much planned it for just the two of you to spend time together. I think they will understand and who knows, maybe they'd be relieved too. I like the idea of planning a dinner with them one night, that way it's not a complete snub.

 

[senadler]

I think giving up a couple hours of alone time to have a meal with them is worth not having to stress over possibly running into them during the rest of your trip.

 

[MakiraMarlena]

Plan one meal (maybe make it a breakfast), then send them on their way. Or have your husband do it, they're his parents.

 

[Alesia]

Just be direct and tell them. If they can't deal with it, that's their problem. Do you really think you guys are going to enjoy your trip if you're looking over your shoulder the whole time?

And if you decide to lie about the trip, how do you think they'll react if you do run into them?

For what it's worth, I have never had a trip to WDW when I didn't run into at least one person that I know.