PSA 2day...if you smoke, don't whine that you're BROKE!!! minivent

[pannm]

Let me first say that this is not an 'anti-smoking' rant...I don't have the right to tell people to stop smoking. It is, however, a 'if you choose to have kids, take care of your kids' rant.

This family I know has two kids, the wife/mother smokes a pack a day at the least and every time I talk to her- she's complaining CONSTANTLY about how broke they are and how she can't afford to bring her kids school shopping for their 'school list' neccesseties...

I understand. Smoking is a hard habit to break. But, if my kids had to GO WITH OUT or I could not afford to buy them things for school- I would GO WITHOUT to provide for them!!! They live in a nice neighborhood with newer homes, so yes- I know that they spend a lot on house payments and what ever else. Maybe they can't afford all of the 'nice things' they have...but it's not like they are driving around brand new cars, they've had theirs for a while now.

I think if your kids have to go with out things that THEY NEED, just so you can support a habit or vice that you may have- then maybe you're a crummy parent. This lady will complain about spending $50 on cigs for a week to me and then, turn around and the next day say (HONESTLY, sincerly) that they can't afford the school list (which cost me $18 for each of my girls this year)...

I have a hard time with smoking issues. SOME smokers complain about how broke they are, how expensive things are getting- but they won't get rid of their biggest money waster of all...Smoking costs A LOT. Not just to buy the cigg.s, but in the long run also medical bills and whatever else.

So, my Public service announcement for today is this. If YOU choose to smoke, don't complain to people how broke you are. It's a choice that you make. It is not something you MUST do. (as well as other vices)...And please!!! If you have kids that are GOING WITHOUT THINGS THAT THEY MUST HAVE, just to support your vice, then maybe it's time to get HELP!

 

[shortbun]

yeah, my son and I just sat down on Friday and figured out how much it costs to smoke a pack a day. Lots of school supplies and a decent vacation could happen by merely stopping smoking. He was amazed. It was part of my campaign to keep him smoke free.

 

[superdiz]

Ok parents that smoke are the most selfish beings on earth. My mother was a smoker (and yes I think that was incredibly selfish) and I told her for 5 years that once I have children I won't allow them over her house if she's smoking. My son is 8 months old and has never set foot in Nana's house. As it stands she cannot smoke outside at our house and she has to change clothes before she comes over. She has since quit. Tough love. Do people even understand how awful smoke is for an infants lungs? The incidence of SIDS increases with smoke. Almost all cancers list "smoking" as a risk factor. Smoking around children is blatant child abuse. People are just too selfish to recognize it.

Obviously this issue makes me very

 

[mrsklamc]

I work with an organization that helps people in need, and 90% of the people/families that come in for assistance are smokers. A good portion of those are asking for assistance with their child's asthma meds.

 

[jandersonlj]

I work with an organization that helps people in need, and 90% of the people/families that come in for assistance are smokers. A good portion of those are asking for assistance with their child's asthma meds.

The problem is that we live in a very selfish society!! The needs of our own children get put on the "back burner". What ever happened to being considerate of what others need. Even though my son is 19 now, I still put his needs before my own. If everybody would concentrate on putting other people first, we would see a different society altogether. I think our grandparents generation would be ashamed of what we have become.

 

[mom2d&b]

WOW, it sounds lke you are talking about my DH. He smokes nd is always telling me he has no money. HMMMM, let's add up all the cash you spend on ciggarettes over the week, month, year. WOW I think we just found a way to justify staying at the Contemporary, in the tower!

 

[kaytieeldr]

This lady will complain about spending $50 on cigs for a week to me and then, turn around and the next day say (HONESTLY, sincerly) that they can't afford the school list (which cost me $18 for each of my girls this year)...

So, tell her that. You're not going to get her to quit smoking, but maybe she just doesnt realize how relatively inexpensive the list is. Or tell her it cost you $22 or $25 per child, and offer to shop for her if she pays you up front.

I wouldn't be surprised if they have the money and she just wants to complain...although high mortgage payments combined with older cars would tend to indicate maybe they're stretched a little thin on big-ticket items. Anyway, even a PSA isn't going to convincesomeone to give up an addiction cold turkey.

 

[kaytieeldr]

As it stands she cannot smoke outside at our house and she has to change clothes before she comes over. She has since quit. Tough love. Do people even understand how awful smoke is for an infants lungs? The incidence of SIDS increases with smoke.

I found several reliable sites - WebMD, Mayo Clinic, one specific to SIDS... - that, after several other possible causes, first place maternal smoking during pregnancy as a greater risk than any secondhand smoke after birth; but I couldn't find anything that even hinted at clothing with a smoke smell possibly being a cause. All due respect, what you're calling tough love I'd call extorting.

 

[disneylove69]

My mother is the same. She never has any money or a car to go anywhere but she always finds a way to get to the Liquor store for them. I have an allergy of cigarette smoke where I can't breathe and I don't allow smoking in my house but she sneaks it in and says that it's in my head that I can smell it in the house. I can't even bring people over to MY house due to the smell. She says she doesn't want to stop smoking and for me to get over with it. If it's my house and my health shouldn't I have a say so Smokers... plz smoke in your own house.

 

[Figmificent]

I found several reliable sites - WebMD, Mayo Clinic, one specific to SIDS... - that, after several other possible causes, first place maternal smoking during pregnancy as a greater risk than any secondhand smoke after birth; but I couldn't find anything that even hinted at clothing with a smoke smell possibly being a cause. All due respect, what you're calling tough love I'd call extorting.

http://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/data_statistics/fact_sheets/secondhand_smoke/health_effects/

 

[SamSam]

I found several reliable sites - WebMD, Mayo Clinic, one specific to SIDS... - that, after several other possible causes, first place maternal smoking during pregnancy as a greater risk than any secondhand smoke after birth; but I couldn't find anything that even hinted at clothing with a smoke smell possibly being a cause. All due respect, what you're calling tough love I'd call extorting.

It's called third hand smoke...here you go:
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/12/081229105037.htm

 

[crashbb]

It's called third hand smoke...here you go:
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/12/081229105037.htm

Nothing in there about SIDS - which is what the PP was specifically questioning.

 

[bdcp]

Nothing in there about SIDS - which is what the PP was specifically questioning.

Why does it matter? Her child, her house, her rules. She had to live with it growing up, why should her son?

 

[TheRatPack]

My husband smokes a pack a day, and it has to be 'brand'. They've went up a LOT in the 18 years we've been married and still he refuses to quit. I think deep down he wants to, he knows it's a money waster....but he just can't. He even checked on the new medicine to stop smoking but our insurance doesn't cover it and he can't justify more on meds then he'd spend on cigs each month LOL Yes I realize the meds wouldn't be a forever cost...but smokers sometimes don't rationalize things like that LOL

He spends roughly 160.00 to 200.00 a month on them....that's a small car payment, almost enough to pay for our Disney vacation, a travel trailer payment, braces for a child....etc. Maybe I'll start saving that much a month and then at the end of the year I'll splurge on me something nice and when he ask I'll explain it's my 'smoking money' LOL

 

[kaytieeldr]

http://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/data_statistics/fact_sheets/secondhand_smoke/health_effects/

It's called third hand smoke...here you go:
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/12/081229105037.htm

Thank you both - but as crashbb already kindly indicated, neither of those sites indicates or implies any even minuscule connection between third-hand smoke particulates and Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. No actual cause has been determined for the latter - but while the mother smoking during pregnancy or second-hand smoke during the infant's first year could be contributing factors, or not, particulate residue in hair or clothing aren't. That poster's demands of her mother were extreme and controlling...and it's surprising she didn't also make her mom wash her hair before touching the baby.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Why does it matter? Her child, her house, her rules. She had to live with it growing up, why should her son?

Well, since you asked that she did live with her mother smoking belies her fear of SIDS caused by her mom's smoking, doesn't it?

Yes, her house her rules AND her child her rules. But 'you can't touch your grandson in snow-smelling clothes' is extreme.

 

[SandrA9810]

I can't stand the smell of smoke on people's clothing. With a baby that young, they're going to be held and smothered against that smoke covered shirt. Even if there is no medical connection, it's still down right gross. Plus that scent is going to be transferred to the baby's clothing. You're not going to rub your hair all over a baby, but the shirt still is.

And yes, I do a lot of holding my breath when walking in public when I see some one has one in their hand. I can smell the faintest trail of it, and it makes me hold my breath till I get out of the vicinity.

 

[crashbb]

Why does it matter? Her child, her house, her rules. She had to live with it growing up, why should her son?

I didn't say that she should change her rules.

What I did do, was point out the then links provided did nothing to address the question that Katie asked. Neither I (nor the two posters providing links) were commenting on the validity of the quesiton.

 

[Dominus]

Ok parents that smoke are the most selfish beings on earth. My mother was a smoker (and yes I think that was incredibly selfish) and I told her for 5 years that once I have children I won't allow them over her house if she's smoking. My son is 8 months old and has never set foot in Nana's house. As it stands she cannot smoke outside at our house and she has to change clothes before she comes over. She has since quit. Tough love. Do people even understand how awful smoke is for an infants lungs? The incidence of SIDS increases with smoke. Almost all cancers list "smoking" as a risk factor. Smoking around children is blatant child abuse. People are just too selfish to recognize it.

Obviously this issue makes me very

Props to you! My kids have 2 grandparents that smoke, and it's a constant struggle to keep them from sneaking smokes around the kids. Smokers are the most disrespectful people around. My MIL even disconnected the smoke detector in the guest room so she wouldn't have to go outside to smoke. I only discovered it because once she forgot to reconnect it. We always assumed the room smelled like smoke because of her clothing, not that she was just defying our rules. Stick to your guns!

 

[shortbun]

Thank you both - but as crashbb already kindly indicated, neither of those sites indicates or implies any even minuscule connection between third-hand smoke particulates and Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. No actual cause has been determined for the latter - but while the mother smoking during pregnancy or second-hand smoke during the infant's first year could be contributing factors, or not, particulate residue in hair or clothing aren't. That poster's demands of her mother were extreme and controlling...and it's surprising she didn't also make her mom wash her hair before touching the baby.

Can we assume you smoke? I don't see her 'demands' of her mother as extreme at all. The woman wants to keep her child healthy and smokers STINK!! Her house, her child, her rules.