Pros for letting a 12 year old have a cell phone?

[delmar411]

To be honest, our "rules" are a whole lot looser:

- Heaven help you if a teacher takes away your phone.

- Heaven help you if you text anything you shouldn't.

- No phones at meals; that's just common courtesy.

I think that's pretty much it. The kids know, for example, that if I ask for the phone I get it.

Ours are pretty similar.

 

[MomToOne]

I'd check with the school about cell phone rules. At my DD's middle school, if they see it, they take it. So she carries hers at her own risk. I didn't realize they had rules about cell phones either.

Also you should be able to block internet and photo texting on her phone. There should be some sort of parental controls available. On DD's phone I can log in and set her 'rating' to very restrictive and she can't even do those text offers like at the mall (text for a discount, etc).

Just some things for you to check into.

My daughter's school does allow them. I'd rather they not, but they do. They just can't be used at inappropriate times. My rules just re-iterate what those times are.

And with the phone/plan I picked for other reasons, I won't have the same parental controls. I'm OK with that, as long as she follows the rules. The minute I get a whiff that she's not, then I'll be looking into switching her to a plan that allows much more aggressive controls.

 

[bear_mom]

Dd got one when she turned 11 and started coming home to an empty house. Yes, we have a landline she could use, but this way she can text dh when she gets home and when her sister gets home. It was more for us than her.

I am surprised at home many times it has come in handy - more than I ever thought it would. We only have a few rules, much the pp above:

* it better not get taken away at school,
* you are responsible for anything anyone does to/with your phone if you lend it out,
* we better not find any inappropriate texts and
* no texting during meals/family time.

Emily

 

[WantToGoNow]

My ds10 got one for his 9th birthday. Honestly, I got tired of walking around the neighborhood looking for him every evening. Now I call him and tell him to come home. He doesn't use it a lot for calling, he does text quite a bit but it's there when he/we need it. It's a great security for $10/month on our plan. Now my dd7 (will be 8 in 3 weeks) wants one but I don't see the need for her to have one yet - and our 1,400 family minutes would be gone every month if she had a phone.

As for ds10, all of his friends have one and I know several kids as young as Kindergarten with phones.

 

[canadianjovigirl]

My 13 year old son mentioned maybe getting one for Christmas but i said nope as we did give him an older one of ours last year so we could get a hold of him when out with friends etc as he always said he couldnt call and update us as he wasnt near a phone. He would never answer the darn thing..........said he didnt hear it yet when i checked the ringer etc it was fine. He is fine with not getting one as he realizes he wont use it much.

Guess i am a meany parent and holding my kids back socially due to this, but so far they are fine - still lots of friends and a busy social schedule.

 

[pantherlj]

In our house, it's more of a piece of mind for me! I like being able to know she can call home from school as needed when an after school activity changes. Sure, she could use the school phone but it's nice that I can call her if needed as well. They sometimes travel for sports events - nice to have if the bus breaks down, they get held up and will be later than expected, etc. And, it's another added piece of mind for me when she goes to the mall with a friend, bike riding around the neighborhood, etc. Sure, I did those things without a cell phone at her age (12) but I enjoy the piece of mind for me.

I went with a Tracfone for her so she can learn to budget - she gets limited minutes every 90 days, not unlimited texting. Not against that for others but 1) I don't have a plan to add her to since I use a tracfone too and 2) she doesn't budget money well so this is another tool for her to learn from.

I didn't get one 6th grade - before then, she was never anywhere with out me or DH (or a close friend).

 

[Aliceacc]

Slight hijack: in my school, cell phones are to be off and in your locker. If your cell phone goes off during class, or if you're caught with it on, it's a mandatory 5 demerits. (20 demerits gets you suspended.)

My kids attend a different school. But their cell phones get confiscated if they go off. A few weeks ago, my son and I had one of THOSE mornings, and he was pretty snotty to me. Sure enough, I got to school, and found a "sorry mom" text.

It's a good thing for him that I was in a forgiving mood. Otherwise I would have waited until my 4th period break and texted back "No problem"-- and gotten him in trouble

 

[aprilgail2]

I hate the texting with a passion and I hate the constant need to be holding the stupid thing. We do restrict use somewhat. But the truth is that it really is how they conduct their social lives these days. They do not call each other. If your kid doesn't have a cell phone, they won't get invited to participate in activities and they will be regarded as some sort of freak. It pains me greatly to admit this, but it is true.

My kid also stays after school for activities frequently, and it is useful to be able to contact her.

On Friday when school was out my daughter decided to take a long bath when she got up- well in the two hours she was in there she had gotten a text asking if she wanted to go to the movies with her friends....she missed out by the time she got out and checked her phone they were already gone. They never call each other- just shoot a quick text and if the kid doesn't have a phone or the phone on then they lose out.

 

[jemmouse]

I bought my DS one when he was 10. Does he use it that much, no, but it is there for when I want him to bring it with to a friends house or if he has a sporting event. It is a matter of convenience for our family. It costs me an additional $8.00 a months, so it certainly isn't breaking our bank account..

To each is own, for every pro that is answered there will be a con. Do what works for your family and who cares what others think...Best of luck to you...

 

[dhcoffey]

What a sad comment on our society if a child needs a cell phone in order to be NOT considered a freak.

I'm a holdout because I refuse to get dd 12 a cell phone. She can text on her iPod that she bought with Christmas/birthday/earned money. She can make any calls from the house phone. She plays 4 sports plus being in choir & orchestra, has a ton of friends, and was voted Homecoming Representative by her classmates, so I guess not having a phone isn't hurting her all that much.

To each his own, though.

But most people are saying kids use their phones to text, not call. Your daughter has an Ipod to text on, so she's not out of the loop in that sense. A lot of kids, mine included, use their phone to hold their music, too, so they don't have a separate Ipod.

Heather

 

[Debbie7452]

My 13 year old DS feels held back socially because he ONLY has a normal phone, not a smartphone or iphone like "everyone else!" We are not giving in to that. One thing that's great about giving your tween a phone is that you have a great bargaining chip for grades and behavior.

 

[descovy]

When my dh and I started using enough minutes on our pay-as-you go phones to warrant a family plan, our old phones became the "kid phones"

In part, we had the same number for years, and if someone tried to call us on the old phone, the VM would say "Amy's new number is..."

Pros... letting the kids ride their bike in the neighborhood/friend house/ or to the park. Set the alarm to go off when it is time to come home (kids don't read clocks!) Or just be able to call (when they are riding bikes) to say "come home now."

My oldest just started Jr Hi, and not only do they allow cell phones, they encourage it. If transportation plans change (I was going to pick her up from school for an ortho appt and it got cancelled) I text her to take the bus home. Like magic, she shows up at the bus stop!

She went to a school dance, and parent pick up was in the parking lot (not entering the building) So to be able to call and say "i'm parked by the telephone pole" is pretty handy

She also has a bad habit of *sometimes* forgetting to do her homework. The school district sends an auto-email at 1am when an assignment is missing. Her bus leaves the house at 6:30 am, so I often don't see the email until she leaves. I can "copy & paste" into a simple text message, and she can check in with the teacher.

She is a girl scout, and also on a girl scout drill team for gr 6-12. They ask the girls to hold themselves accountable to the offficers. Momma isn't supposed to call and say dd isn't coming to practice. DD is supposed to call/text her peer (teenage) officer to say she isn't coming to practice. They are learning to be responsible for themselves.

She uses it as a clock, as a homework planner, as an address book. And this is a bare-bones 3 year old pay as you go flip phone. Nothing fancy neccesary.

No I didn't have a cell phone in my teen years (80's-90's) but I tell you what, if the technology was so cheap and affordable back then, my parents would have been all over it!

My parents relied on small-town gossip "what's dd doing hanging out at Jims house 11pm saturday?" and a crazy rule of no curfew when we went to the movies out of town... because 17 yr olds speeding on 2lane highways to keep curfew was a BAAD idea)

As a kid, I could get into all kinds of "mischief" and just say "what? we weren't near a phone!" But I tell you what, I can call my kids in 2011 and say "where are you?" And they have to answer!

Cellphones... they're a helicpopter mother's best friend!

 

[scrapquitler]

She doesn't need one. What did kids do before there was even cell phones. It's all because the parents can't tell there kids no. You can always come up with an excuse to get anything.

Sure, when we were kids, cell phones didn't exist. But most of my friends had their own phone line (with their own number) in their rooms. We certainly didn't "NEED" it, but it certainly was nice to have.

Also, keep in mind that when we were kids, there were payphones everywhere (and they used a dime when I was a kid). Mom gave me a dime and I could call her if I needed a ride home from somewhere...it was not a problem because there were tons of payphones. The last time I had an emergency and my cellphone was not working, I couldn't FIND a payphone anywhere. When I finally found one, I went to use it, and the receiver was cut off, so it wasn't working.

As I always say, my child doesn't have a cell phone for HER convenience. It's for MY convenience.

 

[clori]

My dd11 got a cell phone at 9 but it was a luxury I could afford $8.50 a month for my piece of mind. It is also used as a mp3 player and camera. I initially gave dd the phone when she was getting picked up for religious school across the street from her public school - I just felt better in case her ride didn't show up although that never happened. Tomorrow dd has a talent show practice after school which has no set end time. The school doesn't have pay phones and the office locks up at 3:30. Some friends don't have land lines.

To relate the advantage of the cell phone to Disney it came in handy at Disney. Actually dd was 8 and didn't have a cell phone but I gave her mine and dh had his. We were in a building in Epcot waiting for our turn for the Disney Visa photo. DD had the phone on vibrate while she walking around in our line of vision but not easily in hearing distance (esp. since she has some hearing loss). When it was time to have her come back dh called her to come back - quick and easy.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Actually it is because our world is changing. Not so long ago it was no one needs a tv, then a computer. I actually was on the fence for a while but honestly my daughter needs one.

Most people don't have a home phone anymore. I actually can only think of a few people in our area that do. So when my youngest daughter talks to her friends it is on my phone.

Eh, 'most' is relative. As far as I know, still more than 50% of U.S. households still have a home phone. I think it's just 56%, but it's still the majority

 

[elf]

While I certainly grew up fine without a cell phone. Both my 11 and 13 yr. old have had them for a while now for safety reasons. We moved back where I grew up to care for my parents and the neighborhood is not what it used to be.

I am extremely uncomfortable with either walking home alone for safety issues.
My 11 year old last week alone had 2 schedule changes with her after school activities and the school office was closed and she needed a ride at a different time than we planned that morning. If she had not had a phone, that means she would have been stuck in front of the High school while it was turning dark waiting for 45 minutes for a pickup. Things like this constantly happen. Definely worth the extra $30 a month I pay for each phone plus texting.

 

[stephaniee36]

I have been holding off getting one for my daughter but have decided to get her one for Chistmas. Unfortunately,(or fortunately delepending on how you look at it), my husband and I both have company phones so do not have a cell plan to add her to. We have been researching plans over the last few weeks. I THINK we are going to go with republic wireless, they rely on wifi instead of cellular when possible. The plan is unlimited everything, on a smartphone for $20 a month and no contract. You do have to buy the phone. Our other possibility is Boost.

I see the need with after school activities and coming home to an empty house on occassion.

 

[swilshire]

Our kids got cell phones when they started driving. Adding them to our family plan costs about $14 each. No extra services such as texting included. Our total for three phones runs right at $100. We get the available free phones every two years. Nothing fancy.

Sheila

 

[mrodgers]

I see the need with after school activities and coming home to an empty house on occassion.

That's a good excuse right there. Our kids are new to coming home from school to an empty house. They only did it once so far, but this week my wife is working until 4 every day with a 40 minute commute instead of her normal evenings after they get home. They get off the bus at 4:10. I work until I'm done which could be 3, 4, 5 or whatever time. So, they will have a way of getting hold of us easier than calling and paging work or texting Grandma should they need to. We are almost a year now new to having more than 1 shared phone in the family and texting makes it so nice to keep in touch.

 

[solfan68]

My kiddo is still not to the point where he really needs one. That said I work with teens at our church. It seems like the 'useful' part is to contact parents after sports practices or drama rehersals. Back in my day we had payphones, so I guess it makes sense to have one for this reason. We also go rollerskating once a month as a youth group, and the kids can call for their rides when we are fifteen minutes out.

The main thing, though seems to be texting their friends. Sometimes frivolous, sometimes important('Hey are you helping out with the food bank on Saturday ?'). As with any situation, you need to know your kid and get a vibe on how they might use a phone. Middle school seems to be the breakout point more and more. But, as with anything, YMMV.