Pros for letting a 12 year old have a cell phone?

[disneydaze]

I was one of the "no" parents. I didn't feel our daughter needed one - always with either dad or myself, school activites - use the office phone, with friends and their parents or friends have one, just borrow theirs. Then the mind changing event occurred. Daughter (13) made all region choir and attended the region choir concert. We went to the concert to pick her up and there were jr. high and high school choirs there with 300 kids combined. We could not find our daughter for 30 minutes after the concert because of the hundreds of people. We went the next day and added her to our plan. It is not a fancy phone at all but she carries it. (We have a 19 yr old so our family plan gets a workout.) Does our daughter need a phone? Maybe not but I will not go through that 30 minutes that seemed like days again. Jr. high is brutal, I will do anything I can to make it easier on my child. Adding her to our plan was $10 a month.

 

[bpesch]

I'm pretty old school, don't have any kids at home anymore and honestly can't quite wrap my old brain around a 10-12 needing a phone. That being said, the only advice I can give is be very sure about your plan and what it includes. A phone is something that can get out of hand expense wise very quickly. I can well remember discussing this with other parents in the past and being shocked at some of the bills they got because the kids were given free reign and the plans didn't match the usage.

 

[starry_solo]

Wow, I didn't get my first cell phone until about 10 years ago and I was past my teens. ;-) Back then, I had a pre-paid AT&T pay as you go. Then, switched over T-Mobile where you could load up $100 and get 1000 minutes good for a year. Then, about 3 years ago, finally did the contract line with Verizon, finished the contract, and am halfway through the contract with Spring (going back to Verizon when this is up; Sprint's service is horrible around here).

 

[delmar411]

I just don't get it. So many kids have cell phones at an early age, and honestly - I don't recall my generation needing one!

My DD12 keeps asking for a cell phone. All I can thing about are the negatives. She really only has a couple of friends. She doesn't go many places by herself. We (or the other friend's parents) will drive the kids to there & pick them up afterwards. DD did walk to school, but now she is bused both ways right from our doorstep.

When I think how little it will actually be used, I'm having a hard time agreeing to the monthly expense.

My husband & I only have cheap pre-paid card type cell phones (speak-out) as we don't want to get sucked into large monthly data plans.

What am I missing? What are good reasons to get her one?

In your case and esp because your family is not already 'wired', I can't say I see a good reason for it other than as a random gadget.

My DD got one at age 11 or 12 (I forget which) and she's getting an iphone for Christmas since we signed her up for unlimited data back in July before Verizon changed their plans. We're pretty wired up though and we don't have a house phone that works (darn vonage router) so when she's here alone or watching the other kids, she has to have a phone available. Plus she texts/talks to her bio-father and that part of her family and she doesn't need to go through me or ask to use the phone, etc.

 

[Pigeon]

She doesn't need one. What did kids do before there was even cell phones. It's all because the parents can't tell there kids no. You can always come up with an excuse to get anything.

I'm 52. We called each other and talked for hours on the phone, tying it up endlessly. That's what we did. They don't do that now. You might wish they did, but they don't. My two kids with decent social lives and tons of activities make maybe one phone call every other month to their friends. They think talking on the phone is weird. They make all of their plans via text message.

I say no about tons of things, and am proud to be The Meanest Mom on Earth. But I do see the need for a cell phone once they hit a certain age.

 

[MickeyManiac]

I didn't get my first cell phone until I was in my 20's. That's because no one else cell phones either so there was no need. I've often joked that I don't know how our parents raised us without them. I love having instant access to my child and vice versa.

There was an accident near my son's school in January and the news was reporting that a student had died but gave no names. My son was already in the school so he hadn't heard about the accident yet. I was able to text him as soon as the story broke and he got right back to me to let me know he was OK. There have been many times the phone has come in handy, but that time it was priceless.

A child can be socially accepted without a phone but if does depend on your area and their activities.

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

We have one for my DD12. She doesn't use it much but it's only 9.99 a month add on to my bill so I'm fine with it.

Once she was at a sleepover and one of the girls was picking on her. She snuck in the bathroom and called me to pick her up while she was crying. I was there in minutes. She may have gotten picked on even more for crying if she had to ask to use the house phone.

Another time, she and her friend were at the mall and her friends Mom left them and went back home! They were 11 years old!
My DD knew she shouldn't be alone at the mall with her friend so she called me to pick them up. The Mom couldn't understand why I was so ticked off when I dropped her friend off at home. Needless to say she doesn't go anywhere with this friend anymore.

Her Art Class isn't supposed to be done until 5:30pm but more than once it ended early so she called me to pick her up. Otherwise she would have been waiting 30 minutes for me to arrive.

It makes sense for her to have one at our house......

 

[tlbwriter]

My 12 yr old has a phone for MY peace of mind. She participates in open-ended activities. She spends the night with friends who don't have a landline. She goes out of town for school activities that do not have an exact time when they will be back home.

Also, I know a lot of people assume their kid doesn't need a cell phone because they can always use a payphone, but when's the last time you saw a payphone?

 

[tikilyn]

My 10 yr DD saved her allowance and bought herself an android phone from virgin mobile. She also pays for her monthly service (25.00) out of her allowance money (10.00 a week). I'm really surprised at how much she doesn't use it but hey it's her money and she chooses to spend it this way. I still have the right to check her phone anytime I want and she knows it. So she behaves on it.LOL

Now my DS 8 wants me to buy him a phone. Nope not gonna happen.He has to save for it and pay for it just like his sister. If he saves the money for it then we will revisit it but for now he likes to spend his money on legos and xbox games. I don't fore see him getting a phone for some time. He's my spender. LOL

I don't see what the big deal is. It's about being social now. It's how kids communicate these days.

 

[4luv2cdisney]

Well my almost 10 year old will be getting one this Christmas. I was on the fence until last week. She gets bussed to and from school unless there are after school activities/clubs and then I pick her up. No problem, right? Well, she forgot she had a club after school last week and took the bus home only to arrive to an empty locked house. I had stayed late at work and was going to pick her up at the school on my way home. Now, we did have an "emergency plan" in place and it turned out ok, but I didn't like it one bit. Too many "what ifs". The phone will really be for ME! I almost feel bad considering it a Christmas gift. It will be a prepaid phone with a small amount of minutes for emergency purposes.

 

[MomToOne]

DD11 is getting one for Christmas. And she really IS the "last kid in her class to get one"! I held the line until I thought there was a need for one, not just a want. But she will start taking a public bus home from school next year, which requires walking a decent way to the stop through an odd neighborhood, so I want her to have one for safety. I decided to get it for her for Christmas so she can get used to using it before then.

Along with the phone, DD is getting a list of about 25 rules on proper cell phone usage - literally, I've made a list of rules and she will need to sign it before I load any $$ onto her account

I've chosen to get her a pay as you go plan that keeps costs down, and she's getting only a texting phone, not a smart phone. I've allowed enough minutes to allow her both emergency use of her phone, as well as some normal solicalizing with a phone call here and a text message there. But it is not excessive. If she goes through her minutes too quickly, it'll be on her shoulders to buy more time.

 

[Aliceacc]

When I was a kid, I didn't have a cell phone... or a microwave or a computer or GPS or a Kindle... I'm not sure that's the most logical measure of what to buy.

My 11 year old got a cell phone for elementary school graduation last June. Now that she's in the middle school, she's a lot more likely to stay after for extra help and be on the late bus. (There are 2 pay phones in the entire school, either of which may or may not be working on any given day.)

She's also more likely to be on her own at a friend's house, or walking the dog around the block on her own. I like that she can call and let me know where she's going and make me aware of any changes of plans.

Her brother got one at the same age. So he's had his for 2.5 years, she's had hers for 6 months. Neither one has abused the priviledge.

 

[4luv2cdisney]

DD11 is getting one for Christmas. And she really IS the "last kid in her class to get one"! I held the line until I thought there was a need for one, not just a want. But she will start taking a public bus home from school next year, which requires walking a decent way to the stop through an odd neighborhood, so I want her to have one for safety. I decided to get it for her for Christmas so she can get used to using it before then.

Along with the phone, DD is getting a list of about 25 rules on proper cell phone usage - literally, I've made a list of rules and she will need to sign it before I load any $$ onto her account

I've chosen to get her a pay as you go plan that keeps costs down, and she's getting only a texting phone, not a smart phone. I've allowed enough minutes to allow her both emergency use of her phone, as well as some normal solicalizing with a phone call here and a text message there. But it is not excessive. If she goes through her minutes too quickly, it'll be on her shoulders to buy more time.

I like the list of rules coming with the phone! Do you mind sharing your list?

 

[MomToOne]

I like the list of rules coming with the phone! Do you mind sharing your list?

Here's what I have so far - guess it's only 16, it felt like 25 when I wrote them But in my defense, some of the items actually contain 2 or 3 rules on the same topic. I am sure I will add a few more before Christmas morning too. I will say my daughter has some struggles with following rules she doesn't like, so these may read a bit harsh to you but clear, absolute rules are a necessity in our house:

1. You must always turn your phone off during class and study hall. The phone must be left in your locker, your purse or your backpack during class and study hall.

2. You may not call anyone except me during school hours.

3. No cell phone during homework. You must leave the phone in the living room during homework.

4. No cell phone after bedtime. You must leave the phone in the living room at night.

5. No calling/texting during meals.

6. I have online access to your account and will be reviewing all of the numbers you call or send text messages to. You must tell me who a number belongs to if I ask you.

7. You must give me the phone any time I ask. I may review any call logs, photos and text messages that are on the phone. Be aware that there are ways I can see call logs, photos and text messages that you delete.

8. Never take an inappropriate picture with the phone, either of you or anyone else. NEVER.

9. Never send inappropriate text messages or photos to anyone, or say anything inappropriate during a phone call.

10. If anyone sends you inappropriate text messages or photos, or says inappropriate things to you during a phone call, you must tell me about it immediately.

11. If anyone you don’t know calls or text messages you, you must tell me about it. NEVER give out any personal information (your name, your address, your age, etc.) to anyone you don’t know.

12. You must make the money loaded onto your account last until next Christmas. If you do not, YOU will be responsible for adding more money onto your account. You are responsible for telling your friends to stop texting and calling you so much if they do it too often and it costs you a lot of money. Do not access the Internet from your phone, it costs a lot.

13. You are responsible for taking care of your phone. It is your responsibility to replace it if it gets stolen, is broken or is lost.

14. If you lend your phone to a friend, you are responsible for anything they do with it.

15. Use your common sense – if you don’t want me to find out about it, then you shouldn’t be doing it.

16. I may add new rules at any time I want. You are not allowed to argue with me about it.

IF YOU BREAK ANY OF THESE RULES, YOU WILL LOSE YOUR PHONE IMMEDIATELY. THERE WILL BE NO WARNINGS OR SECOND CHANCES.

 

[donalduck]

O give me a break. Cry me a river. They are going to be HELD BACK SOCIALLY. REALLY

Before there were cell phones, no one had one, so it wasn't an issue. Now they are here, and LOTS of people have them, and the culture around them is changing. A kid without a cell phone after 12 or 13 is going to be held back socially. It's awful, and weird, but it's true.

 

[donalduck]

THANK YOU Skysmom I can't even believe that she said that.

What a sad comment on our society if a child needs a cell phone in order to be NOT considered a freak.

I'm a holdout because I refuse to get dd 12 a cell phone. She can text on her iPod that she bought with Christmas/birthday/earned money. She can make any calls from the house phone. She plays 4 sports plus being in choir & orchestra, has a ton of friends, and was voted Homecoming Representative by her classmates, so I guess not having a phone isn't hurting her all that much.

To each his own, though.

 

[Aliceacc]

To be honest, our "rules" are a whole lot looser:

- Heaven help you if a teacher takes away your phone.

- Heaven help you if you text anything you shouldn't.

- No phones at meals; that's just common courtesy.

I think that's pretty much it. The kids know, for example, that if I ask for the phone I get it.

 

[donalduck]

That's your choice I guess. Why did they NEED ONE. NO ONE NEEDS ONE. THEY WANT ONE.

I chose not to say "no" to a cell phone, but rest assured I am perfectly capable of it, just ask my kids

 

[delmar411]

Here's what I have so far - guess it's only 16, it felt like 25 when I wrote them But in my defense, some of the items actually contain 2 or 3 rules on the same topic. I am sure I will add a few more before Christmas morning too. I will say my daughter has some struggles with following rules she doesn't like, so these may read a bit harsh to you but clear, absolute rules are a necessity in our house:

1. You must always turn your phone off during class and study hall. The phone must be left in your locker, your purse or your backpack during class and study hall.

2. You may not call anyone except me during school hours.

3. No cell phone during homework. You must leave the phone in the living room during homework.

4. No cell phone after bedtime. You must leave the phone in the living room at night.

5. No calling/texting during meals.

6. I have online access to your account and will be reviewing all of the numbers you call or send text messages to. You must tell me who a number belongs to if I ask you.

7. You must give me the phone any time I ask. I may review any call logs, photos and text messages that are on the phone. Be aware that there are ways I can see call logs, photos and text messages that you delete.

8. Never take an inappropriate picture with the phone, either of you or anyone else. NEVER.

9. Never send inappropriate text messages or photos to anyone, or say anything inappropriate during a phone call.

10. If anyone sends you inappropriate text messages or photos, or says inappropriate things to you during a phone call, you must tell me about it immediately.

11. If anyone you don’t know calls or text messages you, you must tell me about it. NEVER give out any personal information (your name, your address, your age, etc.) to anyone you don’t know.

12. You must make the money loaded onto your account last until next Christmas. If you do not, YOU will be responsible for adding more money onto your account. You are responsible for telling your friends to stop texting and calling you so much if they do it too often and it costs you a lot of money. Do not access the Internet from your phone, it costs a lot.

13. You are responsible for taking care of your phone. It is your responsibility to replace it if it gets stolen, is broken or is lost.

14. If you lend your phone to a friend, you are responsible for anything they do with it.

15. Use your common sense – if you don’t want me to find out about it, then you shouldn’t be doing it.

16. I may add new rules at any time I want. You are not allowed to argue with me about it.

IF YOU BREAK ANY OF THESE RULES, YOU WILL LOSE YOUR PHONE IMMEDIATELY. THERE WILL BE NO WARNINGS OR SECOND CHANCES.

I'd check with the school about cell phone rules. At my DD's middle school, if they see it, they take it. So she carries hers at her own risk. I didn't realize they had rules about cell phones either.

Also you should be able to block internet and photo texting on her phone. There should be some sort of parental controls available. On DD's phone I can log in and set her 'rating' to very restrictive and she can't even do those text offers like at the mall (text for a discount, etc).

Just some things for you to check into.

 

[MomToOne]

That's your choice I guess. Why did they NEED ONE. NO ONE NEEDS ONE. THEY WANT ONE.

Wow - angry much?

Most people on here have been answering the OPs question about Pros of their child having a cell phone, politely. You, however, are shouting and insulting people. How about getting off your high horse and participating in a civil conversation?