Pros for letting a 12 year old have a cell phone?

[Disney Addicted]

My goodness, thanks for all the replies!

I'll read through all these today. Maybe I'll end up changing my mind and really surprising DD this year.

 

[tlbwriter]

She doesn't need one. What did kids do before there was even cell phones.

Did your parents use a computer when they were your age? If not, what makes you think you need one?

 

[MichiganKris]

My daughter is in 6th grade and we just moved to the area. She had made a few good friends last year, but told me she needed a phone to text with to be included in activities and make more friends. I didn't believe her, but told her she could give her friends my number and she could text from that in the evenings and on weekends. The number of activities she was included in jumped drastically with this. I ended up getting her a phone of her own with rules similar to the very long list a PP posted. It has worked out very well. Kids don't call each other anymore, it is all by text, and they do need the phone to be included in a lot of activities. Most of her friends do not have land lines in their homes either, it is all cell phones.

 

[IMALOVNDISNEY]

My DD got her phone for her 10th birthday. She plays competitive softball and soccer and will use the phone to call or text me when practice is ending or if it starts to rain. We also use it to keep in touch on the days when she goes home from school with friends. She is very responsible with it.

Same here. When DD was 10. Right after her coach ended practice early and left before all the girls were picked up. I got alot of flack from other parents for getting her one so young. But, SAFETY, SAFETY, SAFETY. She's now 17 and a Sr. in HS. She text when she leaves on the team bus to let us know she's on her way, and will text again when they leave a game to come home.

 

[Zim]

I know a lot of folks are saying they didn't need one, why do their kids?

However, I remember when I was in 5th grade staying after school for a computer club. It wasn't until my mom called everyone for dinner that she realized I wasn't home. So I sat out front of the school until 7:30pm. I would have given anything for a cell phone that day.

I gave one to my DD once she was in middle school. The combination of after school activities and being divorced with a somewhat unreliable ex makes the phone priceless.

The social factor has just been an extra plus. It's been a boon for her self esteem to keep in contact with friends from her old school district. And I live in an area with very few kids and none of her friends, so it keeps her in touch, which makes her happy.

Unless it really is a financial hardship to add another line (and I'm not joking here, for some people, especially in today's economy finding an extra $10 in the household finances monthly is a real help), I think the peace of mind far outweighs the fear of spoiling the youth. Maybe when the parent is getting them the latest Droid or some such with all the bells and whistles...

(And IMHO anyone who has an iphone with only texting capabilities, has a phone just as good as any other phone. All teens want is texting capabilities. The phone aspect only comes into play once they have a boy / girlfriend.

 

[KristiKelly]

Our oldest kids 14 & almost 12 both got their 1st cell phone going into 6th grade. DD is on the dance team and DS plays baseball, both of their coaches keep in contact via text. They text to let them know when practice is, will be over, if cancelled... Also, if practice ends early they can call rather than just wait 30 minutes like I had to do when I was a kid. Last night my son's ride forgot him at youth group, fortunately he had his phone and called us.

 

[Jey12]

I think it's all going to depend on the area you live in and reasons why you think she might need one vs. her just wanting one. To me there are more pros to kids having a cell phone with a very restricted plan. DD is only 5 so at least we have a few more years before this discussion comes up. When she enters middle school I'm pretty positive we'll be buying her one, with restrictions. That will be in 7 years so who knows what technology will be available by then anyway?

To answer the question of another poster regarding what I did as a child before cell phones (in the 80's and 90's.) I would tie up the house phone (this was when call waiting was an unneeded perk and considered new technology) for hours on end. If someone had a teenager you planned on not being able to reach anyone else in the home except very early on weekend days. I would go outside and play with my friends (this was a good thing) and then when it was time to come home, I would be late using excuses like I didn't know what time it was, the streetlights weren't on where I was, etc...(now that I know the extent of parental worry I see why I was in trouble so much.) In high school and on school trips, some overnight, I was told to call collect to let my parents know I had arrived safely. I often forgot or just couldn't find a phone. If you're skiing finding a phone on a mountain isn't an easy thing to do. School buses run late, it happens a lot. Often I would return to school to find worried and angry parents to get into a car with. If I'd had a phone this could have been avoided.

The main reason I'm in favor of cell phones for teens to use responsibly is the few times I found myself with my friends in a situation I knew wasn't right. I wanted to do what I knew I should and call my parents to come get me, or use them as an excuse why I had to leave. I couldn't. No way I was going to ask to use the house phone and call mommy and daddy. So I tried to stay out of what was going on (ie drinking) by not participating, but yet now I see the danger of what could have went very wrong by staying in this situation. If I could have just sent a text to my mom to come get me, I could have blamed having to leave on my parents and gotten away without having to consider peer reactions. Of course I survived, and turned out just fine without one, but so many issues could have been avoided. Now being a teen I'm sure I would have found other issues to get into trouble over, but at least the ones where my parents had to worry about my safety could have been reduced. I wasn't a teen that had a rowdy group of friends. We all were honor roll students taking college prep and college level classes, never in trouble in school or any of that. Yet I still found myself in situations with what would have been considered to be the "good" group of peers that could have went very wrong in a hurry.

 

[ksloane]

I think it's all about your child and your community as some others have posted.

My daughter is 11, and I don't see her getting a cell phone anytime soon. (and yes, she wants one)

I'm a teacher at her school so if she plays sports next year, I'll be in my classroom until practice is over (no need to call me to get her). If she has away games, I'll be there.

Right now she plays community softball and one of us stay at every practice so she's never going to be left alone.

And as far as the comings and goings with friends, at 11 she's not really doing any running around without adult supervision anyways so I don't worry about her missing out on going to movies, etc.

She does have an ipod touch and can text if we're around wifi, and she can use my phone or the house phone for phone calls. But really she doesn't text much, and I don't believe she'd have less friends if she couldn't text at all.

But if I wasn't going to be at practices, games, etc or if she was allowed to roam around a neighborhood or such unsupervised, might it be different? Yes. My reason is not her age, but the actual need for one. She has no need for one right now.

 

[HunnyPots]

Neither of my kids got cell phones until they started driving, and even then it wasn't a need, it was a convenience.

There is no need for a 12 year old to have one, especially if your family still has a land line. In fact, there is no real need for an adult to have one either, for that matter. It is a convenience that we're quickly convincing ourselves we can't live without.

 

[tlbwriter]

It is a convenience that we're quickly convincing ourselves we can't live without.

Like the internet.

 

[Jey12]

In fact, there is no real need for an adult to have one either, for that matter. It is a convenience that we're quickly convincing ourselves we can't live without.

Or indoor plumbing.

 

[3boymthr]

We got oldest DS his phone at 13 in part because he was begging as the was "the only one" without a phone (not true but he liked to pretend it was) and while he is not in sports he does do scouts and music lessons. He takes a lot of trips with the scouts and it's much more convenient for him to be able to call me. And finally, because it was a way for me to get a hold of him and tell him to make sure he was home to get his younger brothers off the bus when I was going to be home late from work or a trip to the grocery store or...

We are sticking to the line and have told Middle DS he'll have to wait for the same age even though at 11 he is already begging for one.

At the time we got the phone I also got unlimited texting for the whole family as that's how he communicates with his friends and with me.

I am actually really glad I have a family plan as it gave us the extra texting for the whole family, unimited phone to phone calls (as there are times when a text just won't do) and in the end turned out to be cheaper for us.

 

[debbiedana]

Before there were cell phones, no one had one, so it wasn't an issue. Now they are here, and LOTS of people have them, and the culture around them is changing. A kid without a cell phone after 12 or 13 is going to be held back socially. It's awful, and weird, but it's true.

It's completely true. Middle school can be a terrible awful place. Kids without phones and the ability to text are often left out.

My daughter has had a cell phone since she was nine, and that was for my piece of mind. Play rehearsal, softball, dance (just to name a few) - she was always gone and I wanted her to be able to get ahold of me. She learned great responsibility from having that phone.

Now she dances competitively and almost lives at her dance studio. She is there 3-4 hours a night most days, all day saturday and two hours on Sunday. The phone allows her to still be a part of her non-dancer friends lives. It gives her a small mental break between classes. And she can text me when she's done so I don't have to sit in a parking lot for a half hour waiting.

Plus, we no longer have a land line. It was cheaper to add her on to a family plan than to keep a useless land line that cost $50 a month and got NOTHING but political calls.

To tell you the truth, *I* would be miserable if she didn't have a phone.

 

[Priorityonecb]

We did middle school as well. It was when they were doing band/theater activities that we didn't have to be at every moment. Honestly, I feel a lot of security knowing my girls have their phones on them at all times. They love to text and can text me anytime, anywhere. No more dreaded "Oh gosh, my mom is calling!" moments! Texts come in regularly, no one knows who it is from. If they ever need me, or advice about something, I am available to them within a second. It's just as much for my peace of mind then it is for their fun!!

 

[Kaler131]

All of my kids have cell phones (except the 8yo)

 

[willowsnn3]

My ex got our almost 13 year old grandson a cell as he (grandson) lives in Florida with his dad (my son), so he can stay in touch with his mom who lives in Georgia.

 

[MichiganKris]

Or indoor plumbing.

 

[MinnieGi]

My DD is asking for a cell phone for Christmas also, she is in 5th grade. We had decided she would get one at the start of middle school, however we are going to give it to her for Christmas. And we WANT her to have it b/c she is involved in a competitive dance team as well as plays at school and it will give us peace of mind to be able to get a hold of her when she is away from us for long rehearsals. Also with my DS playing soccer and hockey there is sometimes overlap in activities and it would be so nice to be able to call or text DD and tell her the game is running a little late and not to worry we'll be there or in other instances like that it will be nice to have for both her and us.

Also last year she went on her first away trip with her bff for spring break and it would have been nice for her and us if she had a cell phone. While she used bff's mom's cell for calls every night, she wished she could have sent us pix. of things she saw or text us more frequently. This summer she is going away again with them to an even further destination and it will be good for all of us that she has her own cell.

 

[DisneyNutMic]

I got my son his cell phone for his 9th birthday. I'll just be real honest here, I got it because his Dad has become a violent person (thankfully only with his new wife) and my son has been denied the use of a phone to call the police when things get bad there. It was peace of mind for BOTH of us. You can limit what they can do with their phones. My son can only receive picture messages if I type a security code in his phone. He can only call or receive calls from people in his contacts list (which I also have to use the security code to enter. I added the insurance to his line but he has done amazing with his phone. He hasn't lost it. He hasn't damaged it. And texting is a MUST for him. He loves to text. Hates to talk on the phone but loves to text.

 

[MomToOne]

In fact, there is no real need for an adult to have one either, for that matter. It is a convenience that we're quickly convincing ourselves we can't live without.

Ummm...let's see...I've been alone with my then 5 year old DD on the side of a freeway at night in a broken down car before. The cell phone was not merely a "convenience" at that point. While, technically, yes, I could have walked along the side of the freeway with my daughter for 1+ miles to get to a roadside phone that worked (if I was lucky - CA is removing many of them now because they expect everyone to have cell phones) it would have been dangerous in oh so many ways. Being able to call a tow truck on my cell phone wasn't a convenience at that point, it was something I thanked my lucky stars for!

There are very few TRUE needs to sustain life: food, water, shelter (and only basics of those would even qualify as true needs). But there are a lot more things that, once you weigh the pros and the cons, the pros clearly outweigh the cons and therefore as a reasonable person, you make that something you embrace. Fire, the wheel, indoor plumbing, cars and yes, cell phones....