Proper time frame to cash gift check

[JollyHoliday]

I gave a check for a gift 2 months ago to a relative and they still have not cashed it. This is driving me crazy every time I balance my checkbook. This always happens when I give a check as a gift they wait 2-3 months to cash it. Is this normal to wait this long or am I obessed with my checkbook?

 

[Justsyd2]

When this happens in my family it means they've lost my check. I'd give them a call and kindly ask it it's been misplaced. They may be too embarrassed to tell you.

 

[Donnainnj]

Guilty. I have a tendency to do this with checks. We have direct deposit and use the ATM for cash. I don't like doing deposits on the ATM so I usually wait until I get a few checks to deposit together. This could take a few months. I have even let rebate checks expire. a couple of times. My dad doesn't reconcile his check book, so I do try and cash his checks as quick as possible or he thinks he has more money in the account then he really does.
Donna

 

[JollyHoliday]

I did call them and asked if they lost the check and she told me she just did not deposit it yet. Then I felt embarrassed for calling. Before I called her I thought maybe the card with the check could have been stolen from the party or just lost. But she does have it, she just did not cash it yet Oh and no thank you card either yet

 

[powellrj]

I am guilty of it too. We also use direct deposit and when we need cash just get it back when I make a debit purchase. I will wait until I have a couple of checks before I go to the bank because its just not convenient to go there.

 

[xmlguy]

Perhaps,
The driving you crazy part is your problem.
The expectation that they cash it in your timeframe is your problem.
The continuing of sending checks is your problem.
You are tormenting yourself.

You can save yourself all this trouble by not sending checks anymore.

If they are unappreciative, then it's all the better to stop doing it. But not cashing a check right away isn't probably an intentional act to insult you, right? They aren't trying to "drive" you crazy, right? You just have a legitimate concern about having a outstanding check and the overly punitive fees banks charge for overdrafts.

If they are appreciative in other ways, such as verbally when you talk to them over the phone, or by being nice and gracious hosts when you visit, then perhaps you could accept these actions as their form of gratitude. If you still want to send gifts, there's plenty of ways to relieve yourself of the burden of balancing your check book with an outstanding check. Gift cards they can use are one of the most popular these days. Movie ticket vouchers are another. Miss Manner rules about thank you cards have perhaps become outdated in practice in the electronic era for informal occasions, while the principle of expressing gratitude for a gift still should still be maintained.

I have given close family members gifts repeatedly with never receiving a thank you card from them. But this causes me no ill will towards them because they express their thanks in other ways. If they expressed no gratitude, then I would not continue to give at all.

 

[kmvand1]

I hate when this happens! I understand a week, but months!!! Ugghhhh, it messes me up too.

 

[Green Tea]

My DS's gm will mail a $5 check to him at college. He does all his banking electronically, and it is set up here. He is on the other side of the country. GM calls us after a week to ask if DS got the check and why it hasn't cleared her bank yet. It is very sweet to send a college kid money, but I am learning college kids might not know what to do with a paper check.

 

[PinkRhombus]

I did call them and asked if they lost the check and she told me she just did not deposit it yet. Then I felt embarrassed for calling. Before I called her I thought maybe the card with the check could have been stolen from the party or just lost. But she does have it, she just did not cash it yet Oh and no thank you card either yet

Don't feel guilty! Obviously they don't obsess over their own checkbook balancing because if she did then it would have been cashed out of fear for driving you crazy.

We had a boy scouts donation go almost a year once.

 

[laurie31]

Guilty. I have a tendency to do this with checks. We have direct deposit and use the ATM for cash. I don't like doing deposits on the ATM so I usually wait until I get a few checks to deposit together. This could take a few months. I have even let rebate checks expire. a couple of times. My dad doesn't reconcile his check book, so I do try and cash his checks as quick as possible or he thinks he has more money in the account then he really does.
Donna

This is me exaclty. I have two checks sitting on the desk right now, waiting for whenever I go near the bank again. (if I'm near-by, I'll go ahead and take them, but I'm not making a special trip). I hate filling out a deposit slip and going to the bank, sitting in line, etc. all just for one check. I didn't even make the effort for our income tax refund and it was nearly four figures!

I have lost checks before, though. We do better now about putting them in a special place to accumulate, but I used to just put them anywhere and then never see them again. I was cleaning up a few weeks ago and found a stack of cards from my college graduation. Yep, there was a check in one of them. Dang. (the year was 1987...so I'm way too embarrassed to do anything at all with it!)

And wow, I feel really bad now. I don't ever do anything with my bank balance besides check online to see what's in there, so I didn't think about it messing with someone. (I know! Bad! Bad! It drives DH crazy. He says there could be a bank error and we'd never know! I tell him, fine, you take over the finances and balance the checkbook then. He shuts up about it real quick. )

For the record, I did write a thank you note for that check I never cashed, btw and I do now warn people that I don't cash checks in a timely manner. I was with a group at dinner last month and we wanted to split the check, but the restaurant wouldn't split it, so I put the whole thing on my credit card and everyone else paid me for their part. One person wrote me a check. I *really* didn't want a check, but it was all she had, so I took it. Hmm...I think I did cash it in the trip with the tax refund. LOL I was about to wonder if it was still here.

 

[a1tinkfans]

I gave a check for a gift 2 months ago to a relative and they still have not cashed it. This is driving me crazy every time I balance my checkbook. This always happens when I give a check as a gift they wait 2-3 months to cash it. Is this normal to wait this long or am I obessed with my checkbook?

I have done that myself as my DS is FAMOUS for that.
Easy to resolve though. a quick call to say, just following up as I see that the check I sent wasn't cashed and wanted to be sure it wasn't LOST! Atleast you'll know whats up!

 

[MushyMushy]

Not the same thing, but we got into a little bit of a misunderstanding over an un-cashed check once!

DH's grandfather had given a sizable check to my MIL to give us for Christmas. Problem is, MIL is notorious for not sending Christmas presents until up to a year later. It was so bad when the kids were little that she'd buy clothes and they'd grow out of them before she ever sent them. Anyway, she finally got around to sending the card with the check in it that summer, after it was already too late to cash. Apparently, grandfather called her upset because we never cashed it or thanked him, which prompted her to hurry up and send it! And she didn't even own up to not giving it to us, so he remained upset with us.

When we finally were able to go visit, DH had the unpleasant task of explaining it all to him.

We try to deposit checks in a timely manner because we know how the older people get with balancing their checkbooks.

 

[Missy1961]

I give checks to my nieces & nephews. One sister has cashes the check pretty quickly, the other does not. But I don't worry about it, she does cash them when she has a few to cash. I just know that's the way she does it, and I don't worry about it. The kids always send a thank you note quickly, so I know they got it.

I don't like to give gift cards anymore--too many stores & restaurants are going out of business, so the card is worth nothing. At least with a check, they can buy whatever they like from whereever. My nieces & nephews are always saving their money for some big thing they want--one nephew saved his money to buy his own computer, another bought an Ipod, now a niece is saving for a car, etc.

 

[andrews_dad]

For all of you who hate running to the bank, consider banking by mail. I did so when I went off to Graduate school a few states away. My home bank offered up pre-printed, pre-stamped envelopes with their address upon it. That way when a check came in to me, I could sign it, pop a depsoit slip in with it, and send off to the bank. The $$ credit would be there in a few days. Many banks also do this for the elderly and others who are home bound. They want your business and your money, after all. If you really hate going to the bank, you could ask about this service.

 

[WDSearcher]

I think it's time to go the gift card route. Then you don't have to worry about when (or even if) it's used. If you want them to be able to purchase anything they want, instead of being tied into a specific store or experience (movies, etc), then get them an American Express gift card. I do this for my nephew, who was notorious for not cashing checks. He can use it like a regular AmEx, and he can even re-load it if he wants to.

 

[RichNKatHolly]

My DS's gm will mail a $5 check to him at college. He does all his banking electronically, and it is set up here. He is on the other side of the country. GM calls us after a week to ask if DS got the check and why it hasn't cleared her bank yet. It is very sweet to send a college kid money, but I am learning college kids might not know what to do with a paper check.

LOL - for goodness sake, for $5 I'd just stick a $5 bill in the card.